


Something About Us

by Turtlefriedrice



Category: One Piece
Genre: Body Swap, M/M, an AU where France has a USA healthcare system, soul swap, telling each other to go pissed, they're screwed, why so many batman references, zoro driving sanji insane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 01:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 121,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turtlefriedrice/pseuds/Turtlefriedrice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two things Sanji was very certain of. One, this wasn't his apartment and he wasn't going to piss in a drain on the floor. Second, this wasn't even his penis. And for fucks sake, why was it green? An OpBigBang fanfic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the OPbigbang! Look out for the awesome artwork from my bb partner Kumiko-sama-chan illustrating this fic ~ A huge thanks to Bea for running this event and being so helpful when I needed it! Thank you Torchi for pre-reading and betaing through this and a huge tremendous thanks to MyLadyDay for plowing through this in three days, polishing it fabulously, putting the shoelaces back and putting up with my whiny ass XD Then last but not least, thanks to Steph for moral support xoxo
> 
> Fic disclaimers: Please realize this fic spans over a couple countries and I just want to say that I tried to research as much as I could but I understand there's no way that I could get the culture/facts completely right and I apologize in advance if I unintentionally included something that could be seen as offensive. (Considering its Zoro and Sanji though please don't expect them to completely uphold culture norms) So see these as a AU Japan and a AU France that somehow has a USA healthcare system. I don't know French or Japanese, I consulted the dreaded google translate.
> 
> Please ENJOY !

**I.**

It all happened so suddenly, Sanji's chest bolting up and his body tumbling off the side of the futon he'd been resting on, gasping for air. His heart was beating a mile a minute and, in the most odd way of describing it, his brain seemed to be in emergency mode, recovering from a sudden restart and struggling to calm down. What the hell had just happened? Had he forgotten to breathe? Either he was having a mad case of acid reflux or his lungs burned before they finally settled, the frame of his body relaxing.

His eyes opened wide, despite not being able to see much under the comforter that decided to roll off onto the floor with him. What the hell had just happened? His paranoid brain, still a bit in a panic itself, jumped to several diagnosis – sleep paralysis? A nightmare? Fuck, that had to be the most intense nightmare he'd ever experienced in his life. Sanji's hand rubbed at his forehead, his brows furrowing as he tried to decipher what it was. Now that he thought about it, could it have been a dream? He wasn't sure, his memory seemed to fail him. In fact, not only about the dream either, when had he ever had a bed set so close to the floor? What had happened the previous night, what had he eaten last? What was today's date, for that matter?

Swallowing thickly, Sanji appreciated the fact that he lived alone. If someone were to have seen him take such a tumble – all the while somehow sporting some morning wood – he would have never been allowed to live that down. His hand still shaking a bit with the aftershocks, he slowly pulled his blanket from off his head and, once more, his heart sank as a cold sweat ran down his spine.

Speaking of not remembering when his bed had been so low to the ground – it hadn't even been his bed. For that matter, this wasn't even his apartment. Like things could not have gotten anymore strange for him in the last two minutes. Had he gotten drunk? It was sad that was one of the first things his consciousness jumped to as an excuse, but it was all his mind could come up with so quickly, it would explain the memory lapse and throbbing at his temple, because he was an awful drunk. And he'd be a liar if he'd said he wasn't prone to a one night stand here and there, or at least the fantasy of having one.

Except, now he was really praying to himself that that wasn't the case, because, as he pulled himself up – ignoring the way he stumbled slightly and his body seemed heavier and fatigued – this didn't really look like the apartment of a woman. Even with sudden weird morning amnesia, Sanji always knew and followed a personal code of being nothing but a lady's man. How much alcohol did he even drink to end up somewhere that could only be another man's apartment? An apartment that was filthy from first inspection, several empty beer cans spread about that could easily confirm his fears. Maybe he was just possessed. Maybe it was just a chick's brother's apartment?

Now why did Sanji just know that wasn't the case? Talk about rolling off the wrong side of a stranger's bed. He couldn't allow himself to panic about it right now – even if there was a growing pit of anxiety and unfamiliarity at being with a man burning in his gut – he'd had enough of a shock for one morning. For now, at least, it looked like whoever it was he'd spent the night with was missing in action, unless some of the doors spread around led to another bedroom. Otherwise, he doubted they spent the night in separate beds. After all, it was a very small apartment.

Squinting at the light coming in through the blinds covering two, what he assumed to be, balcony doors. So this bedroom he'd awoken in was actually more of a living room anyway, more compact than he'd seen, but he wasn't really going to waste time here going over the floor plan details. On his feet now, he glanced around at the ground, nudging a few piles of clothes in his path and scanning the table off to the side. Nothing, there was no evidence of his things. Well, surely this wasn't some hostage situation where he'd been kidnapped from his own home naked and brought here to get drunk. That was foolish and didn't make sense. So then where were his clothes? His cell phone? Dammit, he was on the edge of a personal melt down here, he didn't have time to be stranded nude in a stranger's house.

Forcibly, Sanji stopped a yawn, refusing to be reminded yet again that he'd not had a restful night of sleep for unknown reasons and kicked up a pile of clothes, snatching the first few items. Fine, if the stranger had taken his things, he would take theirs. Like hell was he going to stick around here to add a face to this awful ordeal. He was not gay and he was ashamed to think that he'd gotten drunk and… Nope. Wasn't going to think about it, he was better than that, surely! This wasn't fantasy material at all.

No, he would just rid himself of this annoying stiff and get out of there. Walking a little awkwardly, he moved to the first door off to the side, knocking on it like the idiotic gentleman he was before opening the door and peering inside. Just because he didn't see the guy, didn't mean he didn't exist, right? Flipping on the light, however, he just furrowed his brows in further confusion. Honestly, what was this fucking apartment he woke up in? Who had a bathroom with no toilet?

Yes, clearly this was a very interesting and weird place. He could spot the bath to the side, smaller than any he recognized, and a shower head conveniently right next to it but not inside, fixed there so when you wanted to flood the apartment a small drain in the floor might catch the water beforehand. What the hell did this person do? Piss in the floor drain? In fact, no, Sanji didn't want to know what they did, especially if the other option was involved. Instead, he just shut the door, determined to look behind the other doors. He wasn't going to just believe that, although this place was small, there wasn't a toilet. He had some class before going on the floor into a drain!

If this was the lifestyle he was unconsciously letting himself fall into he needed to have a heart to heart with his subconscious about the people he decided to go home with while intoxicated. He decided to go to the door practically across from this one, huffing sarcastically when he opened it to reveal a small room with only a toilet. Really, a few feet away, why? He wouldn't question it, though, his body was annoying him with its persistence and he didn't really favor being bullied by not only his bladder but obviously confused manhood. Not even wasting time, he lifted the lid – ignoring the colorful buttons to the side, which he didn't even want to imagine what they did, and got ready to go about his business that was also the first step of his escape plan.

Except, that wasn't even  _his_ dick. If you could even call this a dick. Sanji's body froze, mortified at what he saw. It certainly appeared like it was supposed to be a dick, in the same dick like area and shape, but what seemed very much off was the fact it was fucking green. He didn't know whether to even feel or not to feel – were those supposed to be pubes? His pubes? Like hell, last time he'd checked, they hadn't looked like fucking moss on a rock, with the rock being his manhood. Because he couldn't just remain there staring without checking, he hesitantly moved his hand to the odd appendage, feeling it only for a second just in case – as if some weird luck would have the green drop off and reveal his usual body part. It didn't and, quickly, Sanji jumped back into reality, nearly stumbling back onto his – if this even was his - ass onto the floor outside of the bathroom and back into the living room.

His eyes frantically went to his hand which still lingered before him even when he fell in shitty slow motion, because it wasn't fucking his either. Only in a matter a seconds he could tell it seemed off: where there should be faded scars, there weren't and his skin spreading up to his arm wasn't the normal slight pale he'd worn for majority of his life. No, it was tan and not in an 'oh maybe I blacked out at the beach' tan, but a natural one.

Sanji's eyes went back to his crotch, as if it would have really changed back in the second he glanced away like this was just some severally messed up acid trip or perhaps he still was asleep in a dream, but found that it and up his abdomen to his chest was the same. Quickly, he forced himself over onto his feet, purposely peeling his eyes away because he couldn't handle this. This was too science fiction, what the hell was going on? What had seriously happened to him so suddenly, or over these past few days?

What he needed was a damn mirror, but this bastard's apartment, whoever they were because now Sanji was confused and pissed, had two half bathrooms that lacked any. To the side, where the main part of the apartment opened up, was the tiny kitchen area and Sanji stumbled there quick, his foot nearly sliding on the change of flooring as he tried to attempt looking at his reflection in what little cookware that settled there. Not even paying the slightest mind if they were dirty, just lifting them up into the light and trying to find his image to calm his nerves.

It only made matters worse, however. It wasn't his face that came into view – even if the shape of the kitchenware already distorted the image – he got nothing but green in every direction he looked. What the hell was happening to him? Was he turning into fucking cabbage? He let the pot drop back into the sink and took a step away from it, a heavy anxiety settling over him. He didn't want to look down at this body again, but it was killing him to know what this was. Turning his head, he glanced around the apartment for anything that just might give him some answers.

There, somewhat close to the apartment's door, a mirror hung on the wall. Sanji had never moved so fast over to it. There were several mixed emotions when he got there. What was there to say? Or to even think? He looked like he was going to be sick. Or rather, Sanji didn't, just the guy whose face he was currently wearing. This wasn't his body. It seemed so weird and foreign to even think that, but pushing and pulling at this appearance that glared back with a permanent scowl, there was no arguing with it. Everything felt so off to Sanji because everything  _was_ off – there was no worse way to feel lost than in someone else's fucking body.

Sanji was at a loss for words, clenching his teeth and lowering his chin to look at the floor. He was running out of excuses to what this could be and he knew, or at least the sane part of him knew, there was no better proof to find you were stuck into someone else's body than being in someone else's fucking body. But this wasn't the end of the world yet. What did this mean? Well, on the bright side, even if there didn't seem to be one, it meant Sanji hadn't unconsciously changed his lifestyle and gotten shit faced drunk and had a one night stand with a man he didn't know! On the other hand, he was now in the body and also the tiny apartment, of a guy he didn't know.

And even now, after realizing this, was it actually real? He glanced back up and into his now darker eyes, then at the stupid short hair on his head. Cautiously, with a stupid shaky tan hand, he experimentally felt it, swallowing thickly as he did. It was soft, not exactly the best upside – but it was fucking green! Just like the pubes. Green hair, was this guy even real? What if he was some sort of alien, or what if Sanji had been the one abducted by aliens and they'd done this to him so that it was really-

Sanji closed his eyes and rested this stupid hand against his face. None of this was right and he wasn't nearly at the point where some shitty imaginative story like that was going to explain any of this. It didn't even feel like he was in someone else's body – he'd been awake for like five minutes already and didn't feel that much different, so how was this even possible? Deciding not to gaze back at the reflection, he gazed down at this body. Who the hell did he end up in, anyway? He didn't recognize him.

In the movies at least, this was used for some kind of lesson, wasn't it? But what was he being taught about a stupid stranger? Hollywood was full of such bullshit, it couldn't have even began to prepare him for something like this. Curiously, though still feeling very strange, he traced a scar across this body's chest. Whoever he was, he wasn't just some random guy. That intimidating glare, a bulk and built body, tons of scars, earrings for goodness sakes… What if he was some type of hit man?

No. He gave him too much credit. Why would a hit man live in a tiny apartment with a toilet in a closet? It didn't add up. He sighed then looked back over to said toilet. Well, there was another issue. How the hell was he supposed to take a piss now through someone else's morning wood? He would rather die than ever have to deal with another man's penis! This was degrading, would there be no mercy this morning?

"Oi."

What? He hadn't said that. But he'd checked the two doors, there hadn't been anyone around. He was alone in this apartment. His arms, for some odd reason, wrapped around this torso. Maybe he was feeling fairly uncomfortable and exposed in a body that wasn't his. Who knew? WIth that, Sanji turned and his eyes widened. Oh, now someone definitely had to be fucking around with him. It was one thing to put him into someone else's body, or, hell, to hypnotize him perhaps into thinking he was, but then to just have the actual person – or so he assumed – to just appear and stare at him with an unimpressed, just as confused but more calm about it expression? Yeah no. It was overkill, and Sanji's body knew it.

Because, before he knew it, some stranger's dick wasn't even his main concern anymore. He went light headed and promptly fainted, tumbling to the floor oh so elegantly. At this point, did he even have shame anymore?

-0-

Sanji only lasted like five minutes on the floor, stark naked in someone else's body and the intense need to piss haunting him. But that didn't make him any more willing to go do it. In fact, it was pretty good the guy watching him didn't really know him personally so he didn't even have to give a damn at the way he curled toward the floor more as if immaturely stating his disinterest in all of this. He was gonna be stubborn about it, dammit, because he was still Sanji, he didn't want this and he wanted to go back home now.

Though his patience was running a tad bit thin, the guy who wore this same face as him crouched down on the floor next to him, continuing on with his 'Oi's' and some language that Sanji couldn't understand but sounded… Japanese? He wasn't sure, but it only made this a tad more miserable. At least this guy was clothed, because at this angle- never mind it didn't matter. After a few seconds to calm himself down and come to somewhat terms again that this was a severely fucked up scenario, he glanced back at the guy, squinting again. If he didn't know any better, he was like a projection and Sanji could barely make out the toilet he needed to go to in the backdrop.

What were the odds that heaven could grant him just one thing, that this guy could know his native language? If this was Japan, which now seemed to make a lot more sense about the strange structure of the home and compact area of it all, the most likely answer was no.

*"Parlez-vous français?"

Personally, Sanji couldn't recall the first day in puberty when he woke up and noticed his vocal cords had changed, dropped and declared him partly a man, but he suspected it felt something like this. It was so awkward and almost eerie hearing his words come out in someone else's voice. And not even one similar to his, it was deeper and odd and it made him wish he knew some kind of sign language instead. Unfortunately, he just had a feeling he'd have to talk to this one.

Go figure, the spirit guy in front of him furrowed his brows and tilted his head a little comically to the side, as if trying to understand what the hell just happened. Sanji gritted his teeth. Alright then, if not French, perhaps another language met his fancy.

"Do you know English?"

That seemed to get a much different response and the bone head was back in on the conversation, or at least the one they were attempting to start. He rolled his shoulder, giving a half shrug half nod, gesturing like it was a maybe. Sanji just wished he'd make his damn mind up, but before he could say anything more, the guy leaned forward, staring uncomfortably into his own eyes and wore another serious expression.

 

 

"Go. Pee."

Sanji stared at him for a moment, letting the unfamiliar accent on familiar words set in. When he finally understood, his face may or may not have gone a shade darker in the red color palette. He didn't need to be told by some ghost, as weird as that was, to be told to piss. Taking his goddamn time, however, he pulled himself up off the floor for the second time that morning, resisting the urge to stretch these muscles and side stepped past the spirit that had joined him in standing. Awkwardly, he moved into the restroom, cringing at the sight of the moss appendage before glancing back.

The guy's eyes were just so dark and Sanji couldn't read them, he could only assume from the way he literally lingered in the doorway that he wasn't going to budge and would instead just watch Sanji with some weird crazy fascination. Well, not to be stereotypical, but this was Japan, he supposed. Wasn't it known for being slightly strange? He took care of business, another horrifying memory for the books, before turning around and quietly stepping back out.

It was so weird, he was the one that wasn't see through here and in an actual body, yet somehow there was still the distinct impression that he was intruding. Okay, well maybe he technically was, if he stole this guy's body, but it wasn't willingly! He had a body, too, out there somewhere, isn't that where this ghost guy should be right about now?

"Who," the guy began, then promptly paused. Sanji should've known, or at least could tell now, there was bit of a hesitance that he could only recognize being from someone who wasn't that fluent enough in a language to be confident while speaking it. Because it would just be too easy to stick him with someone who he could actually talk to, wouldn't it? "Are you?"

Sanji sighed, moving out of habit to run his fingers through his hair irritably, only to find that short grass on top of his head instead. Annoyed, he pulled at it just a bit, cause why the hell not, before even trying to answer that. Technically, though, did he have to? Maybe this was just a one day thing that he could just forget all about later and it was better not to get personal about it. That was probably wishful thinking, however.

"Who am I? Who the hell are you! Why am I in your body? What are you?" Sanji grumbled back, gesturing to the hair in emphasis because, honestly, he didn't know a species with green fucking hair.

The guy narrowed his eyes with another contemplative expression. Probably wishing he'd paid more attention in English class, Sanji assumed, regretting speaking so fast. But could he really be expected to speak slowly and calmly about this type of situation? There was no line of 'for dummies' books for this.

"Who are you?"

What was he, a damn parrot? Sanji took a deep breath just to resist trying to kick the poor damn see through guy before remembering gravity would just fuck him over in this broad frame and send him back down onto the floor like a hot mess.

"Please tell me you know more shitty English than that." Sanji was doomed, he just knew it. "What's your name?"

Sanji, not willing to just stand there and be someone else's eye candy, moved back where he dropped the clothes he found earlier and picked them up. No use freezing someone else's butt off, sporting their ice cutting nipples all the while. He'd preferred being clothed when he learned more fucked up things about this situation.

Luckily, that was a question the guy did understand. "Zoro," he said, the voice Sanji was already becoming used to hearing sounding more confident. "Roronoa Zoro."

Zoro, huh? Wasn't there some kind of movie about a guy with a cape under that name? Sanji never watched any recent stuff anymore so he wasn't sure, but at least the guy understood him about his name. And, he supposed, now that he thought about it and realized what a shitty situation this guy seemed to be in as well and he could help him out just by doing this, he could tell him his name. At least the first part if not the last as well.

"I'm Sanji," he replied, pulling on a tee and looking down at the Japanese symbols that seemed to dance along his front that he could only hope didn't say anything offensive or that would make him stand out. He looked over toward the light still coming in through the blinds then back at Zoro. "We're in Japan?"

Zoro nodded and Sanji had that uneasy feeling again. He was way more than a short drive back to home to find out what the hell was happening to his real body and what had happened to him for him to end up in such a random predicament.

"This is so weird," Sanji muttered before he really realized it, pulling on the guy's boxers before allowing himself to just fall and land on the futon again. Like he was in any rush to go out into a foreign country right now, anyway.

Zoro approached the edge of it, still watching him with a perplexed stare that seemed unamused, but then fairly interested at the same time. "Very... weird." So it was agreed.

-0-

Some people might've found it old fashioned, but Zeff still always knocked before opening a door. Even when he knew the person inside this hospital room, number 4008, wouldn't exactly be able to respond. Still, he opened the door and made his way inside, making use of the hook on the back of the door for his coat like he had several days before, then going over to the chair closest to the bed but still far from the machines, which were constantly humming each and every heartbeat.

He'd like to have believed he'd seen this shitty eggplant in worse condition, but that wasn't true. It was eerie seeing him like this when every memory he had of him contained such life and emotion. Here, he could hardly even see his face with the amount of colorful cords and tubes covering his body and the mask on his face. This was a god damn shame and Zeff knew it, he only felt so powerless that there wasn't more he could do except sit at his side like the nurses encouraged him to do.

It made him angry. Here he was, watching the same snot nose kid he decided to take under his wing, that he actually taught how to cut up vegetables, and they had the nerve to try and say that's all he was? When he'd called him an eggplant, it'd only ever been out of some unspoken fondness in regards to the kid, not a preparation to what was to come. Zeff felt guilty. There were so many parts of him that felt maybe he could've prevented this from happening, if only he'd done something differently.

But if sitting here every single day, talking about the most random things that come to him, was all it would take to perhaps bring Sanji back, or at least while the money was still good and the hospital hadn't screwed them over yet, then so be it. Zeff had no problem sitting here and giving back the time he so very enjoyed spending with his step son. However, it didn't make it any easier to think of what to say. The last few days he'd just sat here in silence, reading the paper or a magazine from the waiting room with its insane celebrity gossips.

Today, he'd brought something more special, more personal. Hell, he'd almost forgotten he'd brought it. He pulled pulled himself out of his chair and moved slowly back to his jacket to fetch something from inside the pocket. It was rugged and old, yet still not of his ancient age, he could assure that, and it held some of his fondest memories and secrets. With the journal in tow, he returned back to his seat a bit more comfortably.

"Now you better consider yourself lucky, you little shit," he breathed out, relaxing back into the recliner. "I'm only going to read this off to you once so get to memorizing."

Zeff opened the journal to where a ribbon stayed on the wrinkled pages, a former place he'd stopped at once upon a time. He scanned over it, letting his last memories visit him before turning it all the way back to the front. His fingers shook slightly as they hovered over the first few sentences and he let this sink in. He'd been hoping to keep this from Sanji for a little longer, but that didn't matter now.

"I was going to wait until your ass made head chef, but there's no use letting you get rusty while you sleep." The first pages were just stupid notes to his future apprentice, whoever that may be. Out of habit, Zeff licked the top of his thumb and skipped those pages. "But don't think for a minute I won't expect you waking up able to do these."

They were recipes, a whole journal full that Zeff had created on his own. Most of it was from his youth when he liked to travel around the world, others just random surprises from mistakes even he used to make. It was slightly ironic, but it started from when he was around Sanji's age.

Zeff spent the majority of the day like that, reading from his journal and adding excellent commentary about how much a little shit he'd been himself along the way. Only pausing in the slight moments when the rhythm of the machines keeping his step son alive would shift differently or stall for a few seconds. Those were the worst.

At the end of the day, when the clock hit nine, visiting hours were over. Zeff's instincts told him to stay as he should, but he knew if he didn't leave, the once vibrant and reactive personality of his apprentice would have protested against him for not at least checking in on their restaurant at night. He could never trust only Pattie and Carne to take control and Zeff didn't blame him. Those two were morons. Another opinion shared between father and step son.

Zeff settled the journal on the bedside table, just in case a certain someone woke up with a great need to finish the page where he'd left off, before glancing back at Sanji. He swallowed thickly as he looked over the blankets covering Sanji's sleeping body, taking in anything else but his covered face.

"I've checked the closet, there are no monsters," he began with a small but pained smile, saying what he used to say more than a few nights in the eggplant's childhood. "You be good eggplant." He patted him on the arm, once, then twice, keeping his hold there as he fought back a stubborn dampness gathering at his eyes. "Enjoy that All Blue some for me, will you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**II.**

Sanji wasn't sure what he looked like as he stretched since he still wasn't used to what this body must've looked like at any given time, but he felt like a lazy cat the way the futon welcomed him with it's comforting textures. He'd never felt a bed so comfortable and inviting before. Before he had never even thought about sleep that much, he was too excited in his old life to just lounge in bed and was always ready to start cooking as soon as he could. But since that morning, it was like his catnip and in some instinctive way he was drawn to it. It was a wonder he wasn't purring, instead he let out a groan, prying his eyes open again and peering at his ghostly friend.

They'd gone back to silence for a little while, ghost Zoro feeling the need to wander around as if looking for something and getting fairly frustrated at the lack of ability to move anything to search properly. As he constantly walked back and forth, sending some distinctly withering looks back at Sanji, he was back to muttering in Japanese under his breath that had Sanji wishing he had a Japanese to English, or preferably French, dictionary. Since he couldn't understand a word his ghostly companion was saying anyway, Sanji felt the need to imagine Zoro bickering like a stubborn old man which seemed to fit, oddly enough.

Instead, Sanji just observed him. Obviously, no matter how fucked up this situation was, Zoro had gotten the shorter end of the stick with becoming some sort of ghost. Had he died or something before Sanji had invaded his territory? He was dying to ask, but the language barrier here made him a bit anxious. There was a lot of information Sanji needed to be able to cover with the moron, but without a legit way of speaking to one another, it seemed impossible.

"Hey," he called out, a chill running down his spine as he still wasn't used to this gruff voice like he was used to his old one. "Zoro."

Zoro seemed to cringe slightly before growling in annoyance at the way Sanji rolled his tongue on the 'r' on purpose, more than what was strictly necessary. He stopped, looking from where he was in the corner in a pile of stuff, looking – which from where Sanji was, it looked like nothing more than a few bags and books he'd hoarded there – and turned towards the man currently in his body before making his way over and scowl down at his own face. Sanji couldn't blame him, he would probably get irritated seeing his face around too with someone else behind the controls. And he thought having a moss dick was weird.

"What." The way Zoro spoke was so plain and simple, nearly emotionless like he'd just tried reading it off a piece of paper. "Get. Pants." He gestured to another forgotten article of clothing.

Bossy ghost, wasn't he? Well, he had his reasons, though Sanji didn't particularly want to move from the spot he was nestled in, just to put some pants on. Despite putting up with it for the sake of being lazy for the moment, this guy's body heat seemed to be naturally through the roof and pants were just not something he was prepared to handle yet. A bit out of pure defiance, because why should he do what the world wanted him to do, when the world just did awful and odd things to him, but also because he just didn't want to. Even putting on the rest of his clothes felt like such a drag at the moment, maybe he'd fallen into a depression? Did the shock finally wear off? Regardless, he ignored the order.

"So what is all of this? Do you know what's going on here? Did you die or something?" Sanji didn't feel like it was an unnecessary question to ask. On his own, he would've assumed this scar across his torso had something to do with it, but it was pretty healed, he doubted it was nothing recent.

"Mm, not dead. Why..." Zoro pursed his lips as he trailed off. It was quite amusing how his face literally lit up like a fuse with the frustration, but melted when he tried to concentrate and form the sentence. "Why is… aho Sanji, me?" He shrugged, moving his arm out to the side a bit in a confused gesture. "Don't know. Put pants on."

"I'm lying on your bed, in your boxers, inside your body and your biggest fear is someone's going to find you pantless? Pretty bashful coming from a guy who sleeps butt naked."

"Oi," Zoro hissed, followed by an explanation in his native tongue. Sanji was, of course, only able to draw the word 'sake' from it all – what an alcoholic.

"What did you say?" Sanji's eyebrow arched and he sat up in the bed quickly. He wasn't any type of Japanese expert by any means, but being born equipped with a sailor's mouth himself, he was able to easily pick up on the colorful tone in his direction. "Speak English!"

"Learn Japanese!"

"Buy me a dictionary, asshole!"

"Get pants!"

Tch, this man's obsession with peeing and pants! He didn't even seem like the bashful type, dammit, he slept buck ass nude. Annoyed, Sanji scooted off to the side and grabbed the pair of pants with his toes – he was so exceptionally skilled, might he add – and brought them back to him to start pulling them on quickly, jumping up to his feet when he was done and gesturing down at them like a little shit.

"There, happy?" he spat, eternally cringing at the way the ghost's mouth seemed to pull into a smirk and he realized how he might have easily been provoked into doing something he hadn't initially wanted, but wanted to simply shut the bastard up. Still, determined to continue his rebellious streak, he dropped back down onto bed. "Your ass is covered."

Zoro nodded. Yup, happy. *"Arigato."

Sanji knew enough from some weird song about a Mr. Roboto to know that meant thank you, but he wasn't about to go welcoming him. Now that he'd been disturbed from whatever odd lazy fest he'd been sucked into by this new body's traits, his mind was back to what was important – getting out of here and finding his own body. He glared when Zoro approached him, even if he knew he probably couldn't do a thing.

"You want home. To be Aho… again. Yes?"

What the fuck was an aho. Surely he didn't mean the certain insult that sounded roughly familiar. "I need to get home, to change back. You want to be back into your body, don't you?" This wasn't rocket science, surely he didn't care for this situation and stilted conversation any more than Sanji had.

"I do. BUT." Why was it necessary to say that louder? Was it childishness, or was he purposely wearing that shitty expression because he liked it. "You are Zoro. Strong."

Oh here we go. He was one of those types, full of themselves to the core and wanted to make sure it was obviously known. "Handsome."

Sanji narrowed his eyes. None of these compliments Zoro was apparently sprouting about himself made any difference and really were just pissing him off-

"Poor."

Fuck. Well, he wasn't expecting that, but it probably should've been obvious. Sanji face palmed. Dammit, this ruined everything. He didn't exactly get sent here with a bunch of whatever currency was here. And if he wanted to go home as soon as possible, even if he could afford it by selling all of Zoro's shit, he couldn't exactly leave him there homeless or something after they switched back – assuming it worked that way and he wasn't stuck this way forever.

He looked back up at Zoro who, having crossed his arms around his chest, simply looked on as unimpressed as ever. How come the guy who could barely even speak seemed to know the main problem before Sanji did? Well, it was probably his fault for forgetting for a moment that his lack of English skills didn't mean he lacked every other possible skill. Still, it rubbed Sanji the wrong way that Zoro was right and he didn't really want the guy he was turned into to be right about anything.

"Do you have… anything saved up at all?" If they could just get some money saved up, he could pay Zoro back once this was all over. Hopefully. Maybe. That could be discussed later, he just needed to find answers back at his home already!

Zoro's shoulders sagged, glancing down as he tried to think, then nodded, looking back at up at Sanji.

"One thousand." He knew numbers? That was great! And a thousand, as in dollars?!

"Dollars?!"

"Yen." Zoro stuck out his tongue, his expression as plain as ever. A fucking kid, that's what he was.

Sanji stomped his foot down, kicking the first pillow off the ground and launching it through the damn ghost for some sort of stress relief. "Can you be serious for one moment?!" Did they have vacuum cleaners in Japan? Sanji was willing to eventually resort to ghost buster methods if need be.

Zoro shook his head, his earrings jingling softly as he gestured from himself to Sanji in an attempt to explain something. "Ghost," he called as he pointed to himself then pointed towards Sanji before speaking again. "You me." Then he dropped both of his hands to his side. "We screwed."

What colorful random language this guy knew. Sanji could totally just picture him being the one guy in language class who spent his time looking up the curse words or funny body parts or phrase translations. But he could see somewhat where Zoro was coming from. To quote the bastard, they were screwed. What could a Japanese ghost and a French cook stranded in another's body in a foreign country accomplish, even together?

For once, Sanji was envious of not getting the ghost position. No chance for a women's bathhouse peep show and, if they were ever going to do anything or try to gather some funds, the person with the actual working body would have to do it all. Meaning, Sanji. That would be fine and all  _if_ he could find some kind of chef position without needing to know the slightest bit of Japanese. Or he could ask Zoro what his usual job consisted of, but he was slightly anxious of what that job might be. This was, after all, Japan.

It didn't help that Zoro was staring at him patiently, waiting for Sanji to just go ahead and ask what they should do so he could poorly explain some kind of master plan. At least Sanji assumed that's what would happen and it wouldn't surprise him. He took a deep breath, letting his body relax for this perhaps not so shocking development.

"So then, what do you do for money around here?"

Zoro's face brightened slightly at the opportunity to explain. Yup, like a kid – a kid with a face that could make children cry, that is. Sanji followed him a few steps as they moved over to a small pegboard that Zoro had mounted up on his wall, covered in a few different papers covered with Japanese script, but also a photograph of a traditional looking building. He tapped at it twice, though not too roughly. He stopped his finger right before it met the photograph so that he didn't faze through it, having learned from getting stuck through several things that morning.

"Work." No shit. "Swords. Fighting swords." Zoro smirked, lowering his chin a bit. It had to have been an area of expertise for him. "Sword fighting."

Sanji, yet again, was cocking his eyebrow. Only in Japan was sword fighting a legit job, though it didn't surprise him if it didn't pay a lot. He couldn't imagine the demand for a samurai was that high any more. Still, he'd humor Zoro a bit about it since he seemed to enjoy it by just announcing what it was.

"So…" Sanji paused, softening his face, then turning it slightly to the side. "You're a ninja."

"Baka yaro!" Zoro was quick to bare his teeth; it must've been a little more annoying than the cook had anticipated which was just fine by him, of course. "Not ninja!"

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Alright, no ninjas. So where is this place, where do you work?" Sanji carefully took the picture off of the board and examined it more closely. He hadn't looked outside of Zoro's apartment window just yet, but he couldn't believe he could live so close to a place that looked so peaceful. Hopefully it was just a walk away so that they wouldn't get lost.

"Tomorrow," Zoro explained. "Rest day."

Sanji nodded, pinning the picture back up. "In that case, back to bed I go."

"Oi."

"Shut up, it was a joke. I'm not going to just lay there trying to sleep while you hover around and stare at me." That thought alone gave him chills and he went to draw back the blinds and let in the light – taking in a street view of being on the ground floor between two apartment complexes where tons of bikes were racked up beyond the barrier that made his tiny patio. He decided not to comment on that, turning back around towards the ghost.

"Jeez, don't you feed this body anything? It's starving," Sanji huffed, glancing over to the tiniest kitchen area he'd ever seen.

There was a fridge that barely made it up to his waist in height, a microwave oven contraption with buttons that were all the same color and text he couldn't read as well as a portable plug in skillet. Other than a few bowls and cups piled up in the sink, there wasn't much in dishware either. How did this guy live? Sanji wasn't going to judge anymore, he decided, and just crouched down to open the fridge.

"Wait-" Zoro, who had turned away a second to do something else noticed where Sanji's focus was and said what he needed to, seconds too late. "Empty."

Sanji furrowed his brows. That was a bit of an understatement. All there seemed to be in the tiny fridge was nothing more than a few beers. Otherwise, there was nothing, absolutely nothing at all. No wonder this guy was a fucking ghost – he didn't eat, he survived off beer! Silently, he closed the appliance and stood back up.

"So I guess we'll be going out," Sanji muttered. "Where's your wallet?"

Zoro didn't protest, he was trying to seem oblivious and guiltless in a poor way like a child that had been caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing. Like, oh how suddenly it happened and he'd forgotten he was totally out of food for, you know, living. He gestured to the compact entertainment center with its tiny laptop sized television. On the top of it was a crappy wallet that was barely holding together for now.

Sanji, being curious about the persona he was now going to have to take on, took it in his hands and opened it inside to check it over. How cruel was it that the currency in this place sounded like it was worth so much, but actually turned out to only equal a few dollars or so. He also snorted at Zoro's ID picture – as flattering with that scowl as he was in ghostly appearance, or on Sanji's face when he had the freaky chance to look at his face in a reflective surface, the look wasn't really flattering on a photograph. He made sure to grab the flip phone by the futon, too, that had somehow been unearthed earlier.

"Okay, you're the native here, show the way." Sanji made his way to the door, after he finished making sure whatever he'd pulled on that morning was decent, and grabbed the nearest pair of shoes. Zoro nodded and waited for him before leading him out into the complex and out the front door. He would've led him faster, but apparently Sanji, behaving like a stereotypical tourist, was taking too much time looking around.

First thing that hit Sanji when they stepped out onto the real Japanese streets were the cicadas. He'd heard a few before in his lifetime, but never this excessive. It gave him chills down his spine, since he himself personally didn't have the strongest tolerance against bugs, but not seeing any in the nearest vicinity made him calm down slightly, looking around and taking in his surroundings. The sky was blue, the plants alive and it was hot. Very hot. Yup, still summer even here.

Around Zoro's apartment building – which Sanji took a few minutes to try and visually memorize just in case for later, since there were other buildings and rooms with balconies all around them - were flowers which he couldn't help but step closer and take in. Surprisingly, it gave him more of a homey feeling about it.

"What are these called?"

"Flower." Thank you captain obvious.

"...You're useless, you know that? Pick a direction to go already."

Zoro, however, didn't seem to like the vision of his body leaning forward, smelling flowers when it could be eating. Sanji hadn't asked about it, but from the way he'd been adamant about peeing that morning and now stubbornly hungry, he wondered if Zoro still had some kind of weird connection to the body and its needs. This stuff was definitely still fucking weird.

Still, Zoro turned and pointed to a direction as he gestured Sanji to follow, so with a hand resting in his pocket, Sanji enjoyed the walk, taking in all the sights he possibly could on their way. And then a second time. And a third.

"Native my ass! We went that way, now we'll go this one." Sanji gritted his teeth, turning and scanning some signs since they were now at least a bit out of the apartment building area. He pointed to one sign with a small picture of what appeared to be a train or subway. "Do you ride the train or do you walk?"

"Food walk. Work subway."

Sanji groaned. Of course it couldn't be simple that they were both in the same direction. He was torn. He didn't like being out in public that much – certainly not now that he could actually see a few people walking around and towards the subway station. He felt exposed. Sure, it was stupid to think anyone was purposely staring at him, though Zoro's body did have green fucking hair, but in a new body like this it felt like wearing a huge sign that read 'not normal'.

And since the ghost guy next to him was in denial about his navigation skills, this was yet another problem Sanji was going to have to face. It would make more sense to go on ahead to the next stop for today, find this work he'd have to start going to and make funds, instead of trying to let Zoro take him the next day and get them both lost and late. He stood there a moment, his knuckle at his chin while he tried to decide and he hadn't even noticed. Speaking of ghost guy, there was a lack of ghost guy.

"Hey! You bastard!" he hissed out, looking around and spotting him across the street. Quickly, he looked both ways before running over to catch up to him. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Store." Zoro's expression was determined and he was headed toward the building with a somewhat colorful sign and a few advertisements in the window. "Do not talk."

Sanji stopped for a minute, glaring at the back of the bastard's head before following further. Bastard, what the hell was that supposed to mean? He wanted to make a plan about what they should be doing and how they were supposed to go about it and already he was annoyed? Well tough luck, idiot, Sanji didn't want to be there like this anymore than Zoro did, but they would be stuck with one another. He gritted his teeth. Fine, let him do what he wanted. Sanji might have been out of his element here, anyway.

Zoro got to the door and stopped, instinctively reaching to open it, but pausing the minute his hand went through the handle with no resistance. He scoffed at it and then phased through irritably. Sanji came up behind him and opened the door to let himself in, his eyes widening a bit at what he saw.

Well it wasn't what he expected. He would have rather gone to a grocery store or something like that to stock up on food and try and make it work, but if they only had so much money to their name at the moment, a convenience store like this couldn't be too bad. He nodded slightly to the cashier who greeted him happily, grabbed a basket and followed Zoro to the back where they had some premade things displayed. The inner cook part of Sanji cringed at the thought of some sort of convenience store prepared food, having heard enough horror stories from around the world, but picked up the nearest thing in it's plastic container anyway to investigate.

This language barrier was still a bitch.

"We like onigiri," Zoro pointed out to a few triangle shaped containers to the side.

Sanji put down what he was looking at first and side stepped over to investigate them. Rice balls? Least that's what they looked like. Well, it wasn't the worst quick lunch or dinner until they found a real grocery store, he supposed. Hesitant to find the better looking ones, and mentally apologizing to Zeff wherever he was for doing something like this, he put a few in the basket, counting the prices as he went so they didn't go over.

Before the ghost idiot could point him somewhere else, he turned to look at another area of the store. He was in the convenience store of another country. There would be something wrong if he wasn't at least a little bit curious to see everything that they could possibly have there. Everything was so colorful or had some kind of mascot on it. It kind of reminded Sanji of a candy store, everything looked appealing and calling out to him to try, he could commend it on that.

Suddenly he wasn't as hungry anymore, if the English translations of some of these were correct.

"Chocolate covered squid?" he whispered, louder than probably necessary, without hiding his disbelief. What. Why.

Zoro, who'd followed him like a bored puppy dog, looked over his shoulder and nodded. "Too sweet. Bad."

He pointed to a bag of chips towards the top. "Those."

Sanji couldn't tell exactly which bag he was referring too, as they were both a bit crazy. One was pepsi flavored chips and Sanji was a little more than sure a soft drink flavored chips probably weren't the healthiest choice for them if they had to be hard working. And certainly not the one beside it, fried chicken flavored chips, according to the imagery. It was all a bit intimidating.

"No." Sanji shook his head and turned to continue adventuring.

He was relieved to find the freezer section, where he was going to get any kind of drink that wasn't straight up alcohol, selections of fruits and some vegetables he could work with and place into his basket. That and a rice bag, since this was Japan after all and rice was a huge part of its diet, he was ready to go and silently approached the checkout. Sanji probably looked foolish, setting change quietly and slowly onto the counter so it made the exact amount but he didn't care. Zoro could go sit outside or something.

After they left the store, they seemed to walk for hours, mostly since Zoro took the lead. Sanji didn't mind, he could eat and walk when he needed to and at least this way he was able to get a look at the scenery. Japan was beautiful and the area they were in certainly wasn't somewhere big like Tokyo, probably more off to the countryside, but stunning all the same. And hot, very hot, though his fault for lazing around until mid to late day before doing these errands.

Zoro had been right, this body and its taste buds thoroughly enjoyed the rice ball. It was a match made in heaven and it wasn't one of Sanji's proudest moments. He was walking along behind Zoro, to wherever the hell the man was taking him and unwrapping the carefully crafted things, sampling himself a bite cautiously only to want to literally shove it into his mouth moment he'd had a taste. Who knew something like bad eating habits alone could be left in a body for him to take.

Sanji halted his walking, his eyes becoming alert as a wave of cool washed over him. Confused, he looked up, not too surprised to see Zoro missing from in front of him. He turned around to look for the idiot in another direction and stopped again, finding Zoro was unnecessarily close to him, analyzing him for who knows what reason.

Sanji let out a 'tch' and took a step back, focusing instead on better things, like opening a second rice ball, or onigiri as Zoro had called it.

"You're quiet."

Sanji shrugged. The cicadas were pretty damn soothing at this point.

 

"You were pretty clear you didn't want me talking," Sanji explained, licking one of his, or rather Zoro's, fingers then quickly stopping because just the thought of that had him grimacing. Still, it didn't matter and a lot of things he'd never do in his own body, especially with eating etiquette, he could in Zoro's.

Zoro crossed his arms in front of his chest, watching him without much protest. "No."

Sanji ignored him, tired already of his hot and cold attitude. One minute he doesn't want him talking to him and the next minute he says that wasn't what he meant. They might have had a bit of a language barrier here, but Sanji was really trying to listen to what Zoro said to try and understand him, making sure the message was well received. There wasn't a more obvious way to say shut up, was there? Unless, of course, it was because it hadn't been said to his face.

Still ignoring him, he sighed and moved to sit down at the side of the road on the curb to properly open another onigiri. These things were addictive as crack and they weren't even that complicated of a snack. He slightly broke into it just to examine the contents he'd tasted and was able to distinguish and make sure there weren't any he couldn't pick out.

Apparently, Zoro didn't take well at being ignored by his own body, especially since it was his only link to the outside world. He moved with Sanji, sitting down and waving his hand in front of his face. 'Oi', he always said that, what did it even mean? Sanji had let it slide a few times, but now, while ignoring the words he didn't understand, he got a little curious, he still wanted to know what the idiot was going on about. It was kind of like the way he'd say hey to grab attention, but this sounded more fitting. Maybe he should use that more often. Sanji's eyes widened and he made a sound of disgust, though, when the bastard purposely put his ghost finger in his snack. "Oi." He tried it out, giving him a death glare.

Zoro met it with the same exact one, which from an outer perspective would've looked ridiculous the way their faces were exactly the same. "Pay attention," he said the words so easily to that, it must've been something a former English teacher had to say excessively. "Eyes watch us. I'm ghost. You crazy."

"You're crazy," Sanji corrected without thinking.

" _You're_  crazy," Zoro spat back, he could repeat it too, he wasn't stupid.

Sanji huffed and turned his body away. He was so annoying and stupid and an eyesore! Bastard is what he was. He wasn't sure why it pissed him off so much, but it just did, especially because for a minute he'd been right. Sanji should've realized that was why he'd tried to silence him, he feared the reputation of his sanity. Surprisingly, he heard Zoro sigh and he turned enough to spot him run his hand down his face.

That was probably the first not pissed off, on edge, annoyed thing he'd seen him do unless he'd just not been paying attention. Zoro lowered his hand and met his eyes for just a moment until looking away.

"Sorry."

Sanji was a little surprised. Sorry? If he hadn't done anything wrong, why was he apologizing? It didn't make that much sense. Maybe it was the only other word he knew at the moment and just wanted to say it? Regardless, Sanji's face softened. Or maybe he was apologizing because he knew he hadn't been able to explain fully what he'd meant, and didn't mean to be frustrated about it.

Sanji looked down and carefully wrapped up what was left of his onigiri and placed it back into the grocery bag. "Don't worry about it. We're both stressed, out of our bodies and got fucked over today."

Zoro just nodded, running his fingers through his hair as he got up. Sanji was about to do the same when something down the street caught his eyes.

"Oi," he used it again, he'd have to in order to be more like Zoro anyway, right? "That's where you work, isn't it?" Why hadn't he noticed the view just down the road from where they were before?

"Hm, yeah."

"You said that was a subway ride away."

"Yes."

"We walked a whole subway route? Are we lost? What the hell is the matter with you?!"

What an idiot, why was he letting this ghost guide him around!? Even if he was a native, it would seem that Sanji would be in a lot better luck to just go find a map somewhere and struggle with the names of places himself. Who knew how they were going to walk back now, or rather, they'd have to take the subway now. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he vowed to himself, no matter what happened, he was not letting Zoro try and show him around again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Thank you


	3. Chapter 3

**III.**

Part of Sanji didn't want to open his eyes. Everything was too quiet, and he had a feeling this wasn't his normal room. If it were his room, there was a surprising lack of commotion downstairs and his bed was much thinner than he recalled. That, and he wasn't used to the weird sensation that he was being watched very carefully, even if he appeared to be sleeping. His body also felt so heavy, like wearing a lazy muscle suit, much like the way he thought his body had felt in a strange dream where he and a foreign stranger had swapped bodies. But of course that couldn't have happened, right?

Wrong. Sanji mentally cursed himself for even cracking these eyes open just a little bit, hoping to catch some of his surroundings through his lashes. Instead, he was caught by surprise by an ugly mug, inches away from his face, watching him intently. Sanji scowled at the increasingly creepy ghost. What a way to ruin his out of beauty sleep - which this body needed considerably - state of relaxation with that ghostly face watching him carefully with dark eyes. What kind of creep's body had he somehow gotten himself stuck in? Did he have a thing for watching people sleep or was he just really so vain he couldn't stop staring at his own face? Well, he did have a thing for referring to himself, and now Sanji in his body, as handsome.

"You are definitely..." Sanji yawned, stretching this body out and listening to something pop. Then he propped himself up, bed head and everything, to stare sleepily back at the bastard before continuing: "...not the face I want to wake up to."

Even if he'd spent the previous day with Zoro as Zoro inside Zoro's body, he really hadn't been expecting to hear that voice coming from his mouth again. Well, more importantly, he hadn't been expecting to have anything to do with Zoro ever again. He'd played nice and tried to enjoy the most that he could of their day together, but had really been hoping it was just a once in a lifetime experience of being in someone else's shoes. Sanji didn't think it would really roll on into a second day. It bummed him out, he wouldn't lie, and he was already feeling homesick.

Zoro, from what Sanji could see, didn't seem phased. He was laying on his side, head propped on his hand and his attention barely moved from where he'd been watching Sanji rest on the futon. Blinking slowly, as if realizing for the first time that the focus of his attention had moved and even tried speaking to him, he looked back at Sanji.

At first it looked like he might say something, like perhaps some sort of good morning since his generic english phrases weren't too bad, but instead he averted his eyes and started getting up, muttering something to himself in Japanese.

It made Sanji purse his lips. The hell was his problem? Yeah, he kind of got kicked out of his body with nowhere to go and Sanji was still here, but wasn't it obvious enough that neither of them wanted it that way and that they were both in the same boat? He didn't have to be pouty about it, that just made the whole situation more irritating. Sanji just sighed. It was useless to pry, since they were still pretty much strangers and if he wanted distance, he could have it and, for once, Sanji might get some himself. Just a shame he had to wake up in someone else's body in Japan to get it.

At least, though, he could try and have a less eventful morning on his second day in Japan compared to the last one he'd had. There would be no awkward morning boners and demands to piss this time.

Sanji walked past his host and made way for the bathroom, gritting his teeth. Scratch that, maybe there was a little repetition from yesterday morning. Regardless, that wasn't the point! Sanji took initiative to start this day properly, even as Zoro. Technically, it could be called his real first day as Roronoa Zoro, since this would be the first time he would need to really try to be him and go to his work... Fuck. How could something as obvious as that slip his mind for even a moment? Pretending to be Zoro and working at his job? He was a freaking Samurai, how was Sanji even supposed to pull that off? Whack a few swords around here and there? Maybe it was mostly meditation and he could half ass it, but he had a feeling it wouldn't be that simple.

Holding his hand on his head and peeking out of the bathroom's open door from his position of just chilling on the john, he spotted Zoro looking around for who knew what. Maybe that's why he was in such a daze? Sanji would've been too if some stranger in his body was about to go out into the world. This was crazy.

Tch, he didn't care for the guy that much, but this was a troubling situation. He should probably at least try and put some effort into it. Especially if this was going to end up being permanent and he would need Zoro's paychecks to fly back to his homeland.

Sanji mentally shook off the rest of the laziness clinging onto him and got up to head towards the shower room. It only made sense that if he was going somewhere to work, he should at least be clean, but that didn't mean his skin wasn't crawling at the fact he wouldn't be cleaning his body.

Slowly but surely, Sanji was finding out way more than he ever would have wanted about another other man's body. He only wished, looking around the shower room, he understood why they put the shower head beside the tub and not in it.

"I'm taking a shower." Sanji peeked his head out the doorway, feeling he might as well let the dazed bastard know in case he snapped back to reality and needed to find his body. Zoro's head popped up and he looked over for just a moment, replying with a low 'mm' before waving him off. Sanji didn't know what to think. Well, besides that Zoro was a total diva. Did he really just trust his body alone in this weird shower with Sanji? He had to have finally snapped or something, compared to how much he was on top of things the previous day.

Still, that wasn't going to stop Sanji from not feeling gross and moldy, which shouldn't be hard with natural green sprouting all over him. Closing the door behind him, he started the water and began to undress, kicking the clothes off to the side and watching in slight confusion at the way the water fell and collected into a drain at the center of the floor. Convenient, but still, he felt it was so unnecessary. Regardless, Sanji let out a purr when he stepped under the warm water, welcoming it with open arms. Yesterday had been stressful, with waking up in someone else's body and he really needed a nice shower.

Letting the water soak into his skin while he allowed his eyes to remain closed for a few more moments, he reopened them to glance around and try and find whatever soaps or shampoos this guy had. What would make this shower better would be if he had something that had a nice scent, hell, this was Japan, it seemed likely he'd at least have something cherry blossom scented. But instead of finding any shampoos – or rather he did, he just decided not to focus on them right away – something else caught his eye. It was a tiny stool set low to the ground under the shower head and a bucket of some sort.

Sanji couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. This guy, this big guy, really sat on that? And did what? Wasn't that uncomfortable? Of course Sanji couldn't not try it out while in the privacy of the bathroom, alone in a body he'd yet to fully explore. He pulled the stool out and took a squat, sitting down on it just to quickly confirm that, yes, he felt like an idiot. Well, he wouldn't really be enjoying the culture fully if he didn't make a damn fool of himself, right?

Sanji sighed, unconsciously scratching at his head in annoyance at totally walking into that humiliation on his own, but at least he  _was_  on his own. Before pulling his hand away, though, he lifted his chin to glance at it and trail up the arm. Damn, the only real times he'd gotten to see Zoro's body, just the skin, had been few and not for very long. Sure, he was currently operating this body, but being so close to it, feeling it, it felt intimate in a really weird way.

This stupid body had scars everywhere. A lot of them were faded and left nothing but a barely noticeable color change on the flesh. The worst of all was definitely the one across his chest. How did someone even survive a cut this massive? What on earth could Zoro have gotten himself into to have suffered that – a car accident maybe? The Japanese mob?

Scars aside, Sanji reached to the side and grabbed a bottle he assumed to be some sort of body wash and got to work scrubbing this body clean. Which, with soapy suds all around and slowly cascading down him, he came to the next interesting thing about this body that Sanji could just not look away from. It's condition, how fit it was. He must've been training since birth to be blessed with muscles like this. Not that Sanji was even remotely jealous of this body and its tan skin. He missed his own, more than anything, and this one was nothing but a useful puppet for the time being.

So, then, why did the shower's steam suddenly seem hotter than before? What was this sensation? No, Sanji knew what this sensation was. He'd felt it before, but in no situation like this – usually only in the presence of ladies. Was he actually getting somewhat turned on? Sanji cursed because there was absolutely no fucking way. He was just exhausted and this whole situation was weird and maybe it was just his fault because, for a minute or so, he'd absentmindedly massaged a nipple while inspecting the biceps. If there was one thing set in stone, it was that he wasn't gay and if he were, it wouldn't take just a day in another guy's body to win him over – no matter how fit he was.

If anything, it was just Zoro's preferences rubbing off on him since he seemed to like himself enough. Shit. Sanji quickly lunged forward, turning the temperature of the shower to a much colder setting. It was this body responding on its own, but that wasn't the worst part. He'd nearly forgotten that Zoro, somehow despite being all ghost like, could feel everything the body felt, or at least some of the sensations due to a connection with the flesh.

Sanji sighed, pushing his palms against his eyes and hanging his head low. Damn, how was it the one thing he was going to try and enjoy this morning suddenly got complicated? Growling to himself about it for a moment, he proceeded to pull his hands back and look forward. Why was it that in this exact moment, there was a mirror settled in the basket of bath supplies that reflected this stupid Zoro face back at him? Well, it wasn't stupid, of course, with Sanji wearing it. Probably looked far more intelligent than it ever had.

Irritably, Sanji's mind traveled elsewhere again. It wasn't going to allow him to run away from the humiliation of him almost making Zoro's body get turned on by itself. Zoro looked so angry and unamused all the time as an apparition, but here, controlled by Sanji and expressing something softer, he looked completely different and the promising features he hadn't noticed before were showing. But that ended somewhat quickly upon realizing something else as well.

Not only was green such a stupid and shitty hair color to have on someone's head or pubes, it was also a stupid color to have on five o'clock moss shadow. Luckily, just like he wanted to see, there was a razor in the bath bucket so he could just take care of it swiftly. If he was going to be Zoro, he definitely wasn't going to be a green lumberjack Zoro, he didn't even care if he'd suddenly decided to grow out a full beard before he arrived or anything. Sanji quickly got to it, taking care of the issue and trying to actually pay attention to what he was doing this time before going off into his imagination.

It was difficult, however, since the reflection he had was so different than his usual one, his eyes were compelled to keep looking up at it, just to get a few seconds of confirmation that it was him, despite knowing it already. Or maybe he just felt like, even though these were eyes that he was borrowing, their dark and warm reflection was looking at him through the image. They too were more kind than he could have originally anticipated. And the massive amounts of green, this face was something Sanji wasn't exactly against saying was at least a little bit attractive. Guys could appreciate another groomed man's appearance, right? Certainly if the guy in question was using the body and doing the grooming to make it look good, right?

"Oi." A voice came from behind, startling Sanji instantly and making him bitch out at the way he'd nicked his face, having been distracted shaving. Quickly, he whipped his head back to stare at the ghostly face of Zoro, half fazed through the door. "What?" he spat, his heart racing a mile a minute. He hadn't gotten turned on again and Zoro was here now to investigate, right, because that was the last thing Sanji needed. He didn't look especially ticked off, though.

Zoro narrowed his eyes, looking Sanji over. He probably wanted to know why the reaction had been so jumpy, almost suspiciously so, but he didn't say anything about it. Sanji could feel him watching as he tried to stop an area on his cheek from bleeding.

"Why so cold?" Zoro finally asked, gesturing up with his chin and eyes to the shower head.

Sanji's eyes followed him. Oh, he hadn't even noticed he'd left the temperature on cold for that long, of course Zoro would notice after a while. Still, that didn't mean the bastard was allowed to give him a damn heart attack – even if he couldn't technically knock on the door and ask that way.

"I like cold showers, is that so bad?"

Zoro made a face and half shrugged with the partial shoulder leaning through the door with his head. He looked around for a moment more then settled his eyes back on Sanji, sitting there like an idiot on a tiny stool. Then, muttering something about work and something the cook interpreted as saying not to take too long, he disappeared back through the door.

Sanji just looked down at his stupid hand and the faint bit of blood already being washed away by the water. If Zoro's hands weren't so unnecessarily bulkier - like everything about his body and frame - this wouldn't have happened. Because, of course, it was its fault it'd happened.

Sanji emerged from the bath shortly after, several tiny pieces of toilet paper on his face to halt the bleeding from a few more cuts, having apparently not recovered and gotten better at shaving after the first incident. He was scowling, looking just like the idiot whose body he was borrowing, when he moved over to where Zoro kept his clothes. Sanji was a little hesitant, since he knew nothing about these clothes, if they were dirty or clean or what and if they were even allowed in a swordsman's dress code, but since the swordsman in question still didn't seem to show an interest in the current proceedings, Sanji wouldn't either.

Zoro waited before finally gesturing him over, seemingly giving Sanji some real attention that morning that wasn't straight up awkward or distracted. Sanji scratched the back of his neck, because he could only imagine what this would be about and several things he hoped it wouldn't be about. When he approached, he cocked an eyebrow, glancing down at the case laid before him. Had that always been there? Possibly, Sanji hadn't made an effort to memorize where everything was in this place just yet.

Feeling Zoro watch him pretty expectantly, Sanji moved closer to the case, which looked pretty expensive he might add, compared to some other things around the apartment. He undid its latch and opened it, surprised and a bit impressed at what he found. They were sheathed swords, three of them, nestled away. So this guy really was a swordsman, which meant these were real swords. Well, now it was all about how soon before Sanji accidentally hurt himself with them since he could imagine they were exactly like large knives.

"Three swords, huh? Nice," he began casually, looking over at Zoro's face. He was still straight faced for the time being, but Sanji swore there was a bit of pride in there about these. "Which one do you usually use?"

Zoro lifted three fingers. "Three."

Sanji took a second to blink before allowing it to register and then looked down at the swords once more. Surely he was kidding, these things were long and probably difficult to truly be skilled with and Zoro wanted him to believe he used all three, at once? He must have meant all of them, just one at a time, right? Still, with the crazy curiosity of how three swords at once would work, Sanji couldn't help but ask.

"All three? Where do you hold the third one?" He shifted his eyes back over to Zoro in enough time to regret he even asked.

Zoro grinned, as if he'd been expecting that question or it was something he was asked quite often. Without trying to reply with words, however, all he did was clack his teeth like some kind of idiotic shark attempting to bite air.

"You carry it with your teeth? What are you, some shitty piranha wannabe? Nevermind, I regret asking."

His teeth?! What kind of dental bills did this guy have, trying some stupid stunt like that? Could it really mean his work was actually a circus and carrying so many swords was just part of his performance? Unfortunately, that sounded even more far fetched and Sanji doubted this would be as entertaining as a circus gig. Still, he wasn't sure he'd be able to do something like bite onto a sword all day without rage quitting.

Sanji watched as Zoro moved his hand, reaching out to the swords, but pausing when his fingers phased through their sheaths one by one. He couldn't explain what he was sensing or reading off Zoro's face, so decidedly just interpreted it to be frustration. If this was what he did every day, it was probably an extension of himself and had to be irritating not being able to do it now. Sanji wasn't sure what he'd do if he were in the same situation and couldn't use his knives for their intended purpose.

Taking it like a champ, however, Zoro gestured to the swords once more and began speaking. It was in Japanese, of course, which was the easiest way to get a blank look from Sanji these days, yet the buffoon went down some sort of list and gesturing to them all. It made him sigh.

"You know I can't understand you, right?"

Zoro scowled at him. "No. Not Japanese. Names."

He pointed back roughly to the first sword, one that had a black sheath decorated with red circles or peace signs - Sanji wasn't really sure and he wouldn't shun any possibilities - before changing the way he said the names so maybe Sanji could understand.

"Shusui," he said it very evenly and clearly, following it with some weird hand motion prompting Sanji to try and repeat it. He also added in some description. "The good."

Well, it was probably a good idea that Sanji sort of learned the names, but he was one of those people easily flustered when he knew he was about to make himself look like a total idiot. Everything Japanese so far he'd tried to pronounce even simply inside his head got butchered, so hearing it out loud would, of course, be just as bad.

"Sushi? Sushi the good."

There was a pause and a deadpan expression before Zoro lowered his head in shame and just went on, swinging his hand flat as to cut Sanji's talking off.

That asshole, his pronunciation wasn't that far off! Who named swords, anyway?

Sanji watched Zoro's finger move to the next sword in the case, which was a deep red with gold. It was much prettier than the last one, he supposed, but for some odd reason it gave him the heebie jeebies. He was sincerely hoping he wouldn't have to put that one in his mouth.

"Sandai kitetsu." Zoro hesitated on the description for this one, tracing the hilt with his eyes. "The bad."

Sanji slightly raised his eyebrow. The bad? Swords could be bad? There was some sort of tragic 'sword wouldn't cut what he wanted it to cut' backstory here he wasn't familiar with, wasn't there?

"The bad," Sanji repeated at last that part in a low murmur, so Zoro'd know he was still paying attention a bit. But now that he'd said that, and remembering the part about 'the good' before, it made him remember something as Zoro moved to the last and final one with a pure white sheath.

"Wado-"  
"Let me guess, Wado the ugly?" Sanji beat him to it, still looking expectantly at the ghost man.

He'd heard the phrase 'the good, the bad, the ugly', he could guess where this was going. In his mind it was highly possible that was what Zoro was getting at and just wanted to save him the effort. Instead, Sanji got a glare and could tell Zoro was tightening his jaw in annoyance.

"Wado Ichimonji. The  _best_."

Oh. So, he'd technically just insulted his best sword. Because that was a great way to start the work day, one point for Sanji. The cook averted his eyes, clearing his throat awkwardly. He wouldn't apologize for it, but still, that was not how he had thought it would go, hadn't meant anything by it. He was just trying to understand.

There was another long pause until Sanji caught Zoro's apparition relax in the corner of his eyes and fold his arms. He could only imagine what kind of inner discussions he'd been having with himself, leaving swords so special he actually named them in Sanji's possession.

"You," Zoro said with a sigh, his eyes moving to Sanji's face before pausing, probably due to the language barrier this time, silently deciding what words to choose and ultimately settling on enough to continue, "and Wado Ichimonji."

Sanji met his eyes then looked back down towards the sword. Mentally, he was apologizing to it for calling it ugly because the white was actually pretty pure and simplistic, which he liked. But him and this Wado Ichi something sword? Well, if Zoro was trying to get at what Sanji thought he was getting at, it would be better than having to use three swords with one of them in his mouth. Hesitantly, he reached out for it, touching his fingertips to the casing.

"You want me to use this one?"

Zoro nodded.

Swallowing thickly, Sanji curved his fingers around it. If anyone would have asked him if he thought he'd be picking up a real katana sword in Japan, the answer would've been a flat no. Yet here he was, about to lift and wield something that if real - he was still definitely going to check - could kill him pretty easily. He could've settled with the good, but no, he has the best one and isn't that intimidating. Still, a small part of him that was probably his inner child was actually excited he'd be holding a real sword.

It was a lot lighter than he would have expected, or maybe this idiot's body was just used to it and already Sanji was holding it in front of him with two hands. One on its hilt and the other supporting it, he temptingly pulled it out of the sheath and promptly held his breath. There was such an expected and stereotypical shine that reflected off it, meeting the light and Sanji was suddenly so excited until… That idiot's face, excited, was looking back at him through the sword, mirroring his expression because it was now his face. And it only reminded him of the shower not too long ago.

The excitement quickly died with that and Sanji put the sword back in its sheath, his face going back to it's normal unamused state.

"Oi."

Of course Zoro didn't know why his mood shifted so swiftly, but that didn't matter, Sanji shifted it to one hand and turned toward him.

"Don't worry. Me and Wado are going to get along fine."

Zoro actually rolled his eyes, slightly growling at that, leaning forward a bit to show his seriousness. "I-chi-mon-ji." He put emphasis on the syllables, determined for Sanji to learn them.

Meanwhile Sanji, with his nerves whack and stress up to his shoulders, met his lean forward and stepped up to the challenge, mimicking the same use on syllables.

"Buy-me-a-dic-tion-nary."

There were a few more words spat out between them, Japanese of course from Zoro's side and those words Sanji knew had to be curse words and Sanji, well, had a few colorful things to say himself. But when it came down to it, they'd just wasted two more minutes or so of time that could have been spent preparing Sanji for whatever he was about to just walk into. After all, if they were around people, how was Zoro going to talk to him?

After they got each other to shut up, which was an even longer argument in language barrier, Zoro pointed off to things and somehow through silent teamwork they managed to secure the katana to Sanji's side. Which that in itself was a weird feeling. There was some kind of nostalgia that crossed over the cook that he knew had to be something imprinted on Zoro's body that was used to having a sword at it's side. But there was also this odd sensation of relief and protection by having it there. But who wouldn't feel at least a bit protected with a sword at their side, right?

How did they ever allow Zoro on the subway with this? Sanji was already imagining some shitty scenario where he was too stubborn to ever change and the conductors gave up. Either way, he was hoping this guy wasn't setting Sanji up to get arrested in his body. After that was all set and Sanji had Zoro's wallet and phone, they left and headed towards Zoro's workplace.

It hadn't changed, of course, from the previous afternoon when Sanji first saw it, but there did happen to be a lot more people out and walking around in different directions. Even though he definitely did not trust the idiot's sense of direction, this was his work place and he wasn't going to just walk in somewhere he didn't know. Besides, with a direction that bad people, would notice if Sanji suddenly knew where to go, so what choice did he have but to follow the bastard.

Unfortunately, just like a lot of things in Sanji's life at the moment, that wasn't going to go according to plan either. Because who would let him walk into Zoro's work easily, see what the hell it was about and try and get by without some sort of shit happening before he even technically reached the door? He was just a few paces away and behind Zoro's ghostly form when a familiar name hit both their ears.

"Zoro-aniki!"

Of course, Sanji didn't realize right off the bat because that wasn't a name he was really used to. It wasn't until he nearly walked through and stopped inside the ghostly image of the real Zoro that he realized their course had changed. He lifted his head, clearing his train of thought and glanced around. Two men were running towards him and, of course, he didn't recognize them while Zoro's expression didn't change either, so he wasn't sure if he should be alarmed or not. And in public, he couldn't even ask. This was the worst.

No doubt, if Sanji was this confused it was showing on his face. He held himself high though, just in case, having an odd headcanon that Zoro was proud enough to purposely walk tall and his eyes moved around as he listened to the foreign words they heaved out between deep breaths when they finally got to him. Listening carefully, he swore he heard them say something that sounded like 'ohio'. Whatever that meant.

Sanji looked back over towards where Zoro was standing and his heart sunk. That bastard. That fucking bastard. Fate had better finally sent Zoro to Sanji's body, or else he was going to vacuum the shit out of him. He was no longer there. He looked around frantically like an idiot. No sign of Zoro's equally obnoxious green hair. Fuck, he was so screwed.

"Zoro-aniki?" the man with a shaven head and a red headband asked, exchanging glances with his comrade.

Sanji looked back at him, at a lost for words. But he couldn't just ignore them, could he?

"Ko..ni..chi..wa?"


	4. Chapter 4

IV.

Sanji would remember this moment forever and he vowed that, when there was a way, because fuck there had to eventually be a way, he was going to somehow murder Zoro for the looks he was receiving at this moment. He felt so goddamn stupid with the way the two men who had approached him were now staring at him. 'Konnichiwa' was what they said in Japanese for hello, wasn't it? Or was it just one of those things they told foreigners, but really it wasn't used anymore. Shit, did that mean 'Arigato Mr. Roboto" wouldn't work either? Well, since that was a given not to work, he was screwed and had probably just butchered how to say it.

It was most likely the latter, since their expressions looked more confused than anything else and they themselves mumbled out the greeting in the proper way before jumping right back into rambles in Japanese. Sanji continued on feeling like a damn fool. What did he even say? Did Zoro normally just nod and listen when people were speaking to him or did he continue to just glare? Then again, wouldn't Sanji of all people know that Zoro just glared back at him most of the time without saying anything? But that's what Sanji was doing to no avail, these people were very serious about something – almost looking as if they were in a mild panic to get him to understand. Was there a mass murderer inside? Did he need to get the sword out?

It would seem these people, however they knew Zoro, be it co-worker or friend, were going to make sure he understood. The one wearing sunglasses and had darker hair reached out and grabbed Sanji by his arms and looked into his face. Sanji stared blankly back like a moron, since he couldn't see his eyes through sunglasses, and tried his best to understand.

"Mihawk, Zoro-aniki! Mihawk!" he nearly chanted out and Sanji knew he was going slow on purpose.

Since he was trying to be an actor here and portray this role properly, he did his best to improvise how Zoro would react to this. Or rather, he was going to react to this and just hope Zoro would normally be annoyed with him because he wasn't going to just let some guy hold him in place no matter how serious this was – it was too weird and out of his comfort zone. He freed himself, shoving the guy away, but not too hard in the slight chance they were friends or coworkers, and furrowed his brows.

"Mihawk?" he attempted to mimic. It sounded sort of the same, less panicky to say the least.

The phrase was what they were trying to get Zoro to understand along with that aniki bit, but more emphasis on this word. Mihawk. What could that have meant? It had hawk in it, could it be like the bird? But that was silly, there was no way that a hawk was called that in Japanese too. If not the bird, then perhaps it was a name for something or someone.

The guys in front of him just nodded, their faces softening a little more from what Sanji could tell. So yeah, that had to be what they were trying to get across to him. The man with the thing on his head gestured for Sanji to look toward the building. So, Mihawk, whatever it was, was inside the building where Sanji was already headed. And it was something to be feared. Perhaps, since Sanji didn't know shit about Zoro's work including what time it exactly started, it was his boss? Wouldn't that be a great first impression?

Sanji clenched his teeth and gave a stern nod. Here he went with his master plan of agreeing with shit to get out of awkward situations.

"Okay," he announced, as if he understood. Hell, it seemed to be working and it peaked their interest. Sanji turned back towards the entrance and began walking, repeating one more time that strange word. "Mihawk."

Behind him were shocked expressions, but the two men weren't moving or trailing behind. Instead, they exchanged glances once more and shouted something which Sanji decided to take as encouragement. He really, really needed a translator or a dictionary soon.

Sanji was fairly surprised when he opened the door to the place, or rather dojo as it was probably referred to. Except, it didn't look like much of one at all, at least this front lobby. It was an amazing experience to take in - the aquarium off to the side with water cascading into it, the oriental themed furniture and atmosphere that screamed authenticity. It was like he stepped onto a movie set or something. There wasn't any sort of check-in desk or anything, though, just a piece of furniture with several different slots with provided shoes.

Sanji had learned last night, and gotten his ear yelled off about it too, about the shoe culture here. Even if they were clean and even if the floors were going to be cleaned afterwards, it was a big no to just walk into a place – well, certain places – with shoes worn outside. Granted, it didn't seem like such a big deal except for the fact that these boxes seemingly had names written onto them. Lucky for Sanji, Zoro's awful English handwriting stood out like a sore thumb. 'ZORO', with several characters he didn't understand next to it.

Being quiet so as to not disturb the zen atmosphere around, Sanji changed his shoes and awkwardly stepped across the room. On a scale of one to ten, how stupid was he going to look, walking around aimlessly if there was a place he really needed to be? And since apparently there was a Mihawk lurking about, he needed to be aware of his surroundings. Unfortunately, that seemed like all he would be able to do, walking down the wooden corridors past several classic thin sliding doors, which he thought were really cool to see in this environment, he wasn't going to lie, and several open spaces with various equipment that probably used for training. The place was massive and definitely impeccably equipped.

A bit of luck came his way, finally, when he turned a corner and, standing at the opening of another hallway, was a familiar ghostly apparition. Zoro was still totally ignoring him, staring at something else with complete focus. Had he come in through a side entrance or something? Either way it had anger boiling so fast inside Sanji, he'd kick the damn ghost's ass if it weren't for the fact he would look like a dumbass trying to kick at air if he tried. That didn't stop him from stomping over to forcefully grab Zoro's attention, glowering at him.

"The fuck, shit head? Do you know how stupid I looked -"

"Says the man talking to himself in the middle of the hallway," a serious, foreign voice spoke, freezing Sanji in place. Shit.

He took a moment to let his brain process how he mistakenly didn't check around the corner to see if they were totally alone or not then he forced himself to muster some composure and take a gander at the new person, feeling very uneasy. This guy definitely wasn't like the first two. He had a presence that seemed bigger than the man himself was. Not only from the way he looked and dressed, or the massive sword he had across his back that had to be overcompensating for something, but his mere demeanor and mostly eyes, which left Sanji feeling completely exposed.

This had to be Mihawk, there was no doubt in Sanji's mind. He understood the reference to the bird completely, as he could see the resemblance in his golden eyes. This guy was perceptive and powerful. It also explained why Zoro seemed to be fuming with his focus completely on him. Were they rivals of some sort? Zoro looked ready to kill him in any way possible should he be given the opportunity, but definitely frustrated that as a ghost he could do nothing of the kind.

What put Sanji off the most, though, was how nice the man's English was. It meant that, opposite his hopes that a lot of people wouldn't understand him should he try and speak to Zoro, that guy understood everything he had said and knew enough to respond to it in seconds flat. How was Sanji supposed to respond? He himself had heard how bad Zoro's English was, he'd seem even more crazy if he just knew it for a few seconds and went back to crappy, broken up Japanese. It would be so much more suspicious. So he decided on his own, whether Zoro liked it or not, today was the day everyone would find out he was apparently faking it and was learning English in secret for a long time. He'd already gotten so deep in the hole he was practically living in it, might as well dig himself some hallways.

"Roronoa," Mihawk spoke again, "I see that you've become fluent since I last left."

Mihawk was several years older than Zoro and towered slightly over him as he began approaching toward down the hall, totally coming in for a confrontation. To Sanji's side, Zoro mumbled something, one of those words he'd pegged off as being an insult. Sanji stood a bit taller himself, ready for whatever this old man thought he'd do. Though he was wishing it wasn't a real legit sword fight. He forced himself to give this guy his full attention, since that's exactly what he was getting in turn.

"I'm underwhelmed; this is what you spent your time training for after I spared your life? Perhaps it will not be you who surpasses me."

Zoro was practically snarling beside him. And Sanji… Sanji was at such a loss for words and he didn't know why. The man was speaking English, he understood it completely, and yet he was somehow silenced. Maybe it was the information gathered from a simple sentence that made so many things in his head click. Spared his life? Sanji's memories jumped back to that morning in the shower, the few seconds were he gazed over all of Zoro's scars – including the biggest one across his chest he shouldn't be alive from.

That was caused by him, this guy, and that gigantic sword? If that wasn't the most intimidating thing he'd ever seen... What kind of power hungry, crazed people was he being thrown amongst, to think that Zoro apparently wanted to defeat him too? How stupid, did he not value his life if Mihawk had already done this much damage to him? It was absolutely insane. If Zoro was willing to die to beat this guy, who did it make him, anyway? Was his massive presence just raw power?

Mihawk was only a pace or so away when he stopped, a perplexed look falling on his features as he looked Sanji over very closely. He was looking at Zoro now, wasn't he? So why did Sanji feel like he was being scrutinized down to his very soul, the body he was in completely irrelevant at the moment. If anything, the hairs on the back of his neck were standing and a fight or flight instinct was kicking in, expecting that in any moment, Mihawk would have his sword out at him and Sanji would have no way of defending himself in Zoro's body.

Sanji wasn't scared, there wasn't a lot that terrified him anymore, but he was certainly cautious. Zoro's face, with its ugly mug came, in handy here, it didn't give that away and Sanji forced himself to maintain the same glare of confidence on his face.

"Ah, now I understand," Mihawk piped up again, his expression changing back to match the monotone of his voice. "My apologies, you are not Roronoa, are you?"

Sanji gritted his teeth. Bitch, he might be. "What? Of course I am, dumbass. I'm Zoro!"

This guy's attitude was getting old fast and had Sanji on his toes. What was he doing, outright assuming that he wasn't Zoro? How in the fuck did this man know? Was Sanji really that obviously not him? Was he some sort of assassin, sent to finish off the job with his giant ass sword? That probably wasn't right, but Sanji was going to cover all possibilities just in case.

Mihawk wasn't phased. "You are not."

Sanji swallowed thickly, standing up a little straighter in the man's presence, determined not to look bothered by his intense and analyzing stare. "Why? What makes you so positive I'm not?"

Off to the side, Zoro seemed to escape from his angry little bubble and step closer, muttering something that of course, Sanji couldn't outright understand - dammit, why did he keep forgetting that? - before saying to stop. But that, of course, was easier said than done. Sure, ghost boy Zoro wanted Sanji to stop and back down or something, but it was Sanji who was kind of stuck in Zoro's body right now, talking to the man with a habit of cutting people in half.

Mihawk rested back on his heels and took a deep breath. Sanji didn't really care for the vibes he was giving, almost as if they were wasting precious amounts of his time when he was the one being all… whatever this uncomfortable situation was.

"What would tell me that you are? You may look like the Roronoa Zoro I decided to spare, but you two are far from the same. If you were Roronoa, this conversation would not have lasted this long." Mihawk's golden eyes flicked back to staring through Sanji. "I'm wasting my time."

Sanji watched carefully as Mihawk moved his hand toward his chest and to the odd cross necklace he had around his neck. What, he was religious? Was he going to be late for mass? Highly unlikely and Sanji was lucky to have doubted it from the start because in a flash, so fast Sanji almost didn't register it, the cross was separated to reveal the tiniest blade he'd ever seen. He wouldn't get the time to process why some crazy swordsman had a butter knife around his neck as Mihawk aimed it out and swung it at Sanji who reacted fast and barely in time to save Zoro's face. Much like he would have in his own body, he was quick on his feet and protectively launched himself back to fall onto the floor and out of harm's way.

Of course, that was just instinct acting, he'd have to face the humiliation of having to do so much over a god damn butter knife later. His heart was beating like crazy and his mind was a jumble of 'what the fucks' as he stared up at the man, now putting up the tiny blade back into his necklace.

"You are quick, but a waste of potential nonetheless." Mihawk began to walk toward the corner of the hallway. "Goodbye."

Sanji had to close his mouth, he hadn't realized it'd remained open in his shock. He brought a hand up to his temple and tried to steady his breathing. It was just a knife being swung at him, it wasn't the first time something like that had happened. He used to kick any mugger's ass who dared to try going after him before but that… that was fucking intense and almost inhuman. Now he was beginning to put together a little more of what was happening here. Everyone really was insane here.

Slowly, he looked up, catching the apparition of a guy he really did not want to see right now in front of him. He was probably going to laugh at him, criticise his ability to smack talk, but Sanji wasn't having any of it. He moved his hand out, rudely waving it through Zoro like he was some kind of smoke that could be fanned away and got up to his feet again, straight lining it for the entrance he'd come in through.

He was so done. There was only so much a guy could take. Wake up in another man's body while your body is probably dead somewhere? Sure, whatever, fine. The new body has green pubes and the asshole who should be in it is stalking him around and making it ten times harder? Why the actual fuck not. A crazy man with a giant sword who can somehow tell he isn't who he needs people to think he is and tries to fucking slice him up with a butter knife? No. Hell to the no.

"Oi, Sanji!" Zoro hissed out behind him, because of course he was stalking him out.

Sanji didn't particularly care, though. He quickly reached down, getting his shoes out from where he'd stashed them and half walked and half put them on while he exited out the door.

"Leave me alone," he growled back. Sanji felt he had a justifiable reason to be ticked off right now anyway. "This was a shitty idea, I'm not going back in there and getting my ass - your ass cut up."

If anyone outside had been listening or watching him talk to himself, Sanji didn't give a rat's ass or even acknowledge them, for that matter. Instead he just kept walking, only looking back once to continue his ranting.

"I should be out here trying to raise money so I can go back to where I need to be. Don't you want your body back, or do you want to be Casper the green ghost forever?"

Zoro stopped and his expression deadpanned.

"Casper?"

"It's a movie... come on, you have those here, don't even act like you don't know, bastard. I can't do this." Sanji looked down at the swords to his side. "I can't use these things and fight people."

He moved his hand, grabbing the hilt of the sword to his side and pulling it out quick - like he'd seen in countless movies of course - for emphasis. Only to have his heart sink when the sword, still thankfully in its sheath because he was that bad, tumbled out onto the asphalt. He clenched his teeth, cursing.

"Dammit, Sushi!" Instinctively he crouched down and scooped it back up.

Zoro tensed, since he practically just witnessed the equivalent of someone dropping a child in front of its mother, clenching his fists.

"Wado Ichimonji-"

"I don't care!" Sanji stopped him, hugging the sword at least closer to his body before he even attempted to get it back on his hip. "I'm not a swordsman, I don't like swords! I'm not going to go in there and get myself killed. He nearly killed you, yeah? This is insane, why would you stay there?!"

Zoro took a deep breath and averted his eyes away. "Please." The word was definitely forced and probably not spoken often, considering the way he almost seemed pained to say it sincerely. "Sanji."

Sanji's shoulders tensed and his head fell back, a noise of frustration coming out from deep inside him. This made absolutely no sense. What on earth had he done to deserve a hell like this? And the guy just decides to say please and get him to go back inside? So he's supposed to just what, do it? This is all that Sanji had to look forward to, wasn't it, majority of anything he had to say to be dismissed to try and keep this guy's life going with no regards to his own feelings.

Again, his hand was up at his head, running his fingers back through short moss and scratching furiously at the back of his neck in irritation. God dammit, times when Sanji really needed a smoke for 500, Bob.

"Why?" he finally breathed out, dropping his arm and looking back up at the ghost opposite him. He was really trying to seem open about it, a sucker when it came to remembering he was being an inconvenience himself. "Give me a reason to go back in there."

Zoro clicked his tongue, just averting his eyes more, even shuffling his feet a bit in silence. His limited vocabulary in English probably wasn't helping him decide how to even go about explaining any reasons to Sanji. He slowly raised his hand up to his chest and finally looked over at Sanji. Then he gestured to himself, not as confidently as Sanji was used to seeing him present himself.

"My?" The way he said it came off first like a question. "Swords..." Another word, not necessarily a continuation to the first, but a representation of him trying to translate what he wanted to say in any way that he could, his expression darkening as he struggled.

"Dream!" That one sounded a bit more sure. "My dream..." He looked back at the dojo from where they'd just left. "Swords. Mihawk…"

His train of thought seemed to be fading once more, but his face softened and he met Sanji's eyes, yet he was still referencing himself.

"Batman," he called himself, then with his thumb back to the building. "Joker." Then in a very comical display, he punched one of his own fists into his other palm.

Sanji just stared. Fuck he hated charades.

"Joker?" Sanji parroted and Zoro just grunted slightly in a somewhat happier reply, thinking he understood. "You do realize that we," he pointed his finger back and forth between them, "are the ones with green hair right?"

Zoro sighed, scowling and remaining quiet. Sanji didn't have the luxury, he had more information now to try and process.

"So let me get this straight. Your dream is swords. To be a swordsman?"

"Best."

"To be the best swordsman... right. Good luck with that. And then if you're Batman, and he's the Joker, he's like your enemy? You want to punch-" A grunt indicated that he was kind of off. How was it this asshole could understand English more than speak it? "You want to... defeat your enemy? So wait. That guy is the best swordsman?"

Zoro gave a stern nod.

"You let me walk up and try and smart talk the best swordsman?! Do you want me to die, you bastard?"

Zoro shrugged, like it wasn't that big of a deal. "You, me. You strong."

How very reassuring. "I barely dodged a butter knife," Sanji muttered, his voice showing that he wasn't so proud of that fact. "So if this is your dream, that's why you work in a place like this and just train or fight all day, isn't it? And why you live in a tiny apartment with hardly anything? You'd rather focus on this stuff."

"Not stupid," Zoro replied, a little defensive.

Sanji shook his head, though, trying to ease the situation if he came off wrong and the Zoro thought he was taking the opportunity to judge him. That had happened a long ass time ago.

"Nah, it's not, I wasn't saying that. I just kind of get it. Everyone has that something they really want to do." Sanji focused back on fastening Wado to his side to start carrying it once more. "You're royally screwed if I'm the one who has to do this, though. How am I supposed to fight him?"

Zoro made a slight hum in a counter argument. "He see you."

Sanji narrowed his eyes at him. Mihawk sees him, well yes, with weird golden eyes like that, how was Mihawk going to not see him? But of course, like always, there was usually something more to the idiot's words. Taking a gander at its meaning like he did with most of what Zoro said, Sanji interpreted it as meaning that since he knew Sanji wasn't currently the real Zoro, for some odd reason, he probably wouldn't be interested in a fight. Which was a relief, should it be true.

Sanji crossed his arms. "You're probably right. But I'm still trying to act like what you're supposed to be like, you wouldn't take that shit, right? Wouldn't let him get away with saying that stuff?"

Zoro gestured 'half and half' with his hand.

"Well if he sees me for me, I'm not going to give him the impression I'm some coward and waste of potential. He pisses me off, I'd kick his ass if I could, but with your legs I'd just fall on my ass again. You okay with that?"

Zoro actually thought about it for a moment then casually put his arm out, as if inviting Sanji in to do what he pleased.

Sanji nodded. So it was settled. "And if he decides to use his sword against you again, well, we'll just both be ghosts and what did we lose?"

"Oi."

"Shut up, idiot, I know I know. You don't lose and I'll try not to die. I have Wado here to help me, don't I?" He gestured to the weapon back at his side.

Zoro looked to it as well then sighed, as if already throwing in the towel. "Dead."

Sanji shot him a glare. He could last maybe a few seconds from a sword slash or something, he was sure! At least until half the amount of blood in his body gushed out. This career was too hardcore for his liking. Why couldn't Zoro be something simple, like a lunch lady?

They stood in silence, continuing to ignore the bystanders who may or may not have looked over at Sanji like he was a crazy disturbance until Sanji hissed and his hand was back to scratching at his hair irritably.

"Alright, I'm going. He's just a cocky shit head anyway." Who was he trying to convince here? There was a pause and he looked back at Zoro's face.

Surprisingly, instead of the usual annoyed expression, he seemed relieved. Well, Sanji had asked him to give him a reason and he had, explaining it to be his dream. Sanji couldn't just not do it. But why did he have to look creepily happy about it? Apparently, as Sanji was enjoying the appearance longer than he had anticipated, the same expression he was taking in changed to something a little more confused.

"Uh..." Zoro cocked an eyebrow.

It snapped Sanji back to the reality of the situation and he quickly looked back toward the dojo.

"Shut up, I'm going, aren't I?"

"No. Move." Ingrate! Already telling him to get a move on.

Sanji growled slightly. "I'm taking my time, okay? Everyone probably thinks you're lost inside the parking lot, anyway."

Sanji straightened his shirt, fixed the stupid moss hair he had the best he could, then headed back toward the building, ready as he'd ever be to try this once more. It shouldn't be too hard, Mihawk wasn't even a big guy and Sanji had kicked and cursed at men twice his size. The image of that huge sword cutting through a body, though, that was a little harder to set aside. Crazy bastards everywhere.

"Sanji."

He stopped, looking back at the apparition that began to follow him. Zoro's eyes were directed away, his posture lax, apparently still too 'cool' and unbothered.

"Thank."

Sanji clenched his teeth. Asshole.

-0-

"Damn stubborn eggplant," Zeff sighed, closing the hospital door behind him.

Granted, it was a bit much to expect much change overnight, compared to how he was the previous day. But still, this step father was hopeful that maybe, with it being Sanji, a miracle might happen. He went and got himself comfortable in his self proclaimed spot in the chair by the bed.

"If you're doing this just because you want to keep listening to my stories and recipes," Zeff let out a grunt at the thought, "you can have the shitty book when you wake up."

He watched Sanji's emotionless face for a few moments, preparing himself for anything, but settling deeper in his chair when it was harshly followed by more nothing. Never a response. But that didn't matter, the eggplant was healing, he needed his rest anyway and there would be a good enough time to wake up later as well.

Zeff's eyes trailed down, passing but then returning back to one of the tubes hooked up to Sanji and currently sending who knew what down his throat. It was feeding him probably, but the veteran cook couldn't help but speculate that it probably wasn't the tastiest of meals. It had him thinking, as he opened his journal again where he had left off, when Sanji did wake up again, what kind of dish he could make to fully introduce him back to real food.

It might have seemed silly or exceptionally calm to think like that, but Zeff knew deep down in a place where he didn't want to come to terms with all this, that it was the only thing he could do, compared to a few sparse other things, to try and stay level headed about it. He had to be certain and fully believe Sanji would wake up again. He was the eggplant that could never stay down and had nothing but fight boiling inside him after all.

Zeff licked the tip of his thumb and turned a page. "Alright kid, start taking your mental notes. This is a long one."


	5. Chapter 5

**V.**

"Shit. Shit!" Sanji's forehead was pressing hard against his crossed arms, sitting at a picnic table at a small park a short distance from the dojo. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I just... Then he... Shit!"

Because if anyone at all thought that matters couldn't get any worse or more chaotic and terrible for Sanji, they obviously just weren't creative enough like reality, as it seemed to love throwing curve balls his way. Sanji had returned back to the dojo with every intention to give Mihawk a piece of his mind about what embarrassing feat had gone down between them, hell he even practically had Zoro's permission to do so, all the while so determined to pull off being Zoro and practicing whatever he needed to do for the swordsman's dream, only to fail miserably in doing so.

Granted, he got to get some stuff off his chest, say some colorful things to Mihawk that expressed his recently discovered annoyance for him and somewhat support the ideal that Zoro would still kick his ass one day, next time he was 'really' around. So that was nice. Mihawk's expression had hardly changed due to anything he had said, of course, instead it looked like he was just seeing through Sanji once more, studying him like some science project - but Sanji wasn't really expecting much retaliation from him. Anxieties over the giant sword he tried cutting Zoro in half with aside.

Only moments after Sanji had managed to accomplish so much, everything came crashing down to ruin this whole experience even more. Sanji wanted to somehow make things right for Zoro. Hell, he'd just heard about how this was his dream! He needed to be here and train here and defeat Mihawk one day, and he wanted him to be able to if he could, so what happened next shattered everything. Sanji hadn't been expecting to catch Mihawk at the wrong time to express himself - in a place that unknowing to him, Zoro's boss was in ear shot and understood enough English curse words to get the jist of what was happening.

The guy's face had been so red and he was shouting in a mix of Japanese and English, bitching about how Mihawk was an honored guest and in no way was he to be treated like that. And in every language he knew the word he made sure to inform Sanji he was fired, done, out of here, finished. Sanji hadn't had the heart to look up at Zoro's face for a reaction. He gathered whatever things Zoro apparently had in the locker there and straight lined it to the park a little bit away to mope miserably.

Sanji just had to come to terms with it. Even if it wasn't his dream job, he was a very shitty Zoro stand in. Regardless if he fully knew the original guy or not. He only hated the way that, despite it all, Zoro didn't speak, didn't say a single thing in regards to what had happened. Was he that angry? Sanji supposed he could imagine he'd be furious if some asshole was messing around in his body and got him permanently thrown out of his restaurant. He'd be livid. Nothing they would have said could excuse it, partly the reason he knew nothing he could say would matter to Zoro. If Zoro would even be able to completely understand his apology, if Sanji were inclined to give one.

He swallowed thickly. Usually, as he experienced both first hand and by staring into the mirror, Zoro's face looked angry or annoyed at any little thing, but right now the way he was off in thought, he seemed softer somehow. Not in a weak sort of way, there was no doubt this guy could 'accidentally' snap some necks if he wanted to, for fucks sake he used to spar with people cutting other people in half, but in a reserved, calm sort of way. Totally different from what Sanji expected him to appear, which was Zoro getting angrier than hell.

A few more minutes passed and Sanji was done nervously scratching at the moss on the back of his neck, willing himself to glance up and see where that asshole - whom he'd just gotten fired - really was. Sanji was slightly surprised, although also not really, to see his ghostly figure sitting across from him at the table. His face was passive and his eyes were directed off somewhere else. Somewhere in his tiny brain he must've been pondering and thinking about how big of a disappointment this was. And all Sanji could think of was the look on his face when Zoro struggled to get him to understand that had been his  _dream_.

Sanji had gotten too comfortable with the sight, that was for sure, the way his stomach seemed to leap almost nervously when Zoro's eyes slithered back to look at him, that familiar scowl on his face returning. Oh, so he was just waiting for the opportunity to be mad then? Such patience.

"Oi," Zoro breathed out in a sigh, relaxing his arms from their position where they were crossed and allowed them to fall against the table, regardless of the fact they would go through it.

Sanji gritted his teeth. He had originally planned on saying nothing, of course, but the words blurted out anyway, as they often did. "Zoro listen-"

*" _Baka yaro_ ," Zoro interrupted him, claiming his right to speak first, not even phased by Sanji sinking back down toward the table. "Not..." he pursed his lips, "...mad."

Not mad? He wasn't mad? How in the hell was he not mad? That was the biggest understatement of the year! Sanji sat up straight in his seat, leaning slightly over the table, his brows furrowed as he tried to understand. How was it that when Zoro actually used legit English words that made sense and he understood that Sanji was confused the most?

"How are you not mad? You just got kicked to the curb. I mean- we just got kicked to the curb. How are we supposed to make money now, huh? And what happened to that being your dream job?"

Zoro's eyes flickered off to stare at something else and it was obvious the words he wanted to say, if he wanted to say, were lost in the communication gap. He growled slightly at his own inability.

*" _Sho ga nai!_  You're crazy," he huffed out and Sanji was almost impressed that he parroted what they'd been calling each other just the previous day. At least he learned somewhat quickly. "We screwed."

Sanji dropped his face in his hands, massaging at his temples. "Tell me something I don't know."

"You shit Batman." Yes a charming visual, but Sanji understood, he was a craptastic Batman in this scenario.

"Yeah, yeah, tell me how you really feel, asshole." Sanji pulled his hands away from his face, staring over at Zoro. Yet Zoro still wasn't looking him in the face. Ouch.

He followed the gaze of his eyes, a bit of ice running through his veins at seeing it was actually the direction to the dojo. Maybe he wasn't as directionally hopeless? That was badly placed and useless wishful thinking. Either way, his focus was on what Sanji had just screwed up.

"You good." Zoro swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath before looking at Sanji in his body. "I will be best."

Because that was a statement that totally made sense. Sanji's face softened, willing to give this translation a go. Since he was there and fairly humiliated about getting fired, he doubted Zoro was really admiring his skills in anything. This was the biggest flop ever, probably, in Sanji's entire life. Which, now that he thought about it, maybe if he replaced good with a similar word he hadn't heard Zoro use yet, it would make more sense. Zoro was telling him that he was right?

Zoro had been right there when the confrontation had gone down and Sanji decided to play into being Zoro and stand up for his ambitions. Was he right by saying some of the things he said, about Zoro one day becoming the best and kicking Mihawk's ass? Lord, he hoped not, that was even more embarrassing to look back on now, knowing he failed because of the way he behaved. The things he would only shrug off because they happened while he was in the body of a stranger. But then again, was Zoro not mad but actually pleased that Sanji had said those things? Like a compliment? Crap, like, who would really be doing cheesy shit like that willingly!?

"Yeah well, if it's your dream and I had to go yell it in that guy's face, you better be the best, no excuses. You practiced too hard for this shit not to, yeah?"

Zoro just nodded. "There will, there way."

Sanji deadpanned. "You know that saying but you don't know who Casper is? I don't believe you."

Sanji couldn't help it, he could feel a tiny smile edging its way to his mouth. Why was it such a relief to see Zoro wasn't really set back and upset over this? Sanji expected to see him a lot more frustrated and angry for having his life ruined, but surprisingly he was… flexible about it? Fuck, no, last thing Sanji wanted to start thinking about and complimenting is Zoro's flexibility. The guy was stiff as fuck.

Quietly, Sanji rose from his seat, stepping out and away from the picnic table. "Well, now that that's over with," he began, looking around to recall which way the subway station had been, "time to move ahead and make a new plan, shitface. I'm still stuck in here for now and not having a job will change that. It's time to do something we should've done from the start."

Zoro stood as well, careful not to bump into the table even though it honestly didn't matter. He really wasn't using the most out of his ghost-like situation like he should have. Raising an eyebrow at Sanji, he inquired: "What?"

"Buy a fucking dictionary, is what. Come on, I'm leading again this time. And don't you fucking run off again or I'll kill you."

-0-

Sanji closed his eyes, letting out a sound he wasn't totally proud of as he tasted something like pure physical heaven in his mouth. He took a deep breath, taking in the smell along with the taste of perfection.

"How the hell," he gasped out, inspecting the dish more, his brain trying to process the unique combination of flavors and foods, "is convenience store food this good?"

Surely it wasn't really this amazing. Sanji, in his own body, had a very distinct taste palette, but using someone else's personal tastes to enjoy real foreign food for the first time was indescribable. How abused were Zoro's taste buds, worn down from constant eating of rice balls, to make this such a unique experience? Either way, Sanji didn't care, he was enjoying all of it - especially knowing it didn't even cost that much.

"And look at this." He quickly swallowed, picking up the next thing he'd bought that was pre-prepared. "Beautiful."

Granted, he didn't need to get more than one thing to satisfy his hunger for awhile and save some money, but the presentation and attention to detail was something he couldn't pass on experiencing. He almost felt pampered and from the interesting, hectic day he'd had as Zoro, he deserved this. They could monitor food intake after this, but for now he was enjoying it.

Sitting cross legged on the other side of the low table, Zoro just stared at Sanji like he was some kind of alien that had possessed his body, making sounds and freaking out about things that were completely normal. He shook his head at Sanji and earned himself a glare before trying to correct him.

"Itadakimasu." It was the second time Zoro had to remind Sanji to say it before his meal, since in a game of charades earlier he'd explained it was custom to do so.

"Itadakimasu," Sanji muttered, moving on to peel the plastic from the next thing. He totally knew that. But even after that, did Zoro really have to continue watching him? "Instead of staring at me, why don't you do something productive? Watch your DVD or find us a new job."

Sanji glanced up at Zoro, watching as he scowled. Zoro twisted behind him a bit to the bag of purchases they'd gotten at some half priced clearance thrift store where everything was impressively dirt cheap. His hand phased right through it. Oh right, Sanji had to do everything around here. So much for having a personal moment with himself and edible art.

Sanji sighed, lowering what he was munching on and got to his feet. He kicked the bag up to his hands and rifled through it. It was surprising how many things they found in a small learning section of the store that had to do with English. Sanji was half tempted to find something for learning French, but given the small bit of English Zoro did know and how Sanji himself most likely knew it more than his own native tongue, they settled for beginner's books and a DVD to learn.

He didn't feel like flipping every page for Zoro to read tonight, so he pulled the DVD out and, knowing he'd need it himself, the dictionary and newspaper they'd also picked up on their way back. He plopped those two on the table, but remained standing with the DVD in hand.

"Do you even have a player?"

Zoro nodded, apparently enjoying the fact that he wouldn't have to move, as he relaxed back and just pointed to the tiny television and it's entertainment center, with a load of clothes and crap in front of it. Sanji sighed, stepping over and crouching down to get a good look, moving some of the junk out of the way to make it easier.

"Damn, do you even try to tidy up?" he growled slightly, reaching the stand more clearly now. Curiously, with his free hand, he picked up a few random DVDs to get them out of the way, studying the cases as he went. "Are these freaking cartoons?"

Zoro nearly snorted from across the room, getting up finally to join Sanji over by the television. He said a few words in Japanese and Sanji wasn't sure if Zoro was trying to explain to him what it was or not, but he shrugged it off, placing those off to the side with some obvious samurai films. Sanji was relieved the DVD players here were pretty standard like the rest of the world, otherwise they'd be screwed, wouldn't they?

He casually turned on the device, waiting for its disk tray to open as he fetched out the asshole's learning DVD. Sanji was about to place it inside when he paused, noticing the disk that was already loaded in. What the fuck was this? It was pink and in every description of the word, erotic, perverted symbols and large XXX's decorating its outside. Of course, in this boring evening of being stuck as Zoro and dining on store bought food, that was too interesting to pass up.

"Is this porn?" he spat out before he was even realizing he was shoving the tray back into the device and quickly going to turn on the television.

If possible in his ghostly state, Zoro's face seemed to slightly redden. "Oi! No-"

Sanji's eyes widened, the sound blaring out of the tiny television much louder than he'd anticipated as the DVD picked up right in the middle of the pornography, apparently where a certain asshole had once left off. Except, they weren't the high pitched female moans Sanji was expecting and totally would've been okay with, there were no delicate flowers and soft skin on the screen. Sanji's body trembled, the skin shown was more muscular and tight, the moans gruff and nearly growls in themselves. This was gay porn.

Why was his heart flipping around in his chest about this? How was he supposed to process this information? Not able to think clearly with that noise and imagery fogging his mind, doing weird shit to this body, Sanji quickly slammed his finger down on the pause button, keeping his face low because he didn't even want to know what shot it was left on. He'd never seen or experienced anything like that.

"You..." He swallowed thickly, turning to look back at Zoro, whose expression was a bit guilty, but not entirely ashamed. "You're gay?"

Zoro stood up straight and shrugged his shoulders, knowing what Sanji was asking whether or not he understood the word, apparently. "Meh." He gestured, his hand out and moving to the side a few times in a 'so-so' way. "Why?"

Fuck. Fuck this, Fuck that. As if things in Sanji's situation couldn't have been any worse, the type of guy he got stuck in is gay? Not that he had any problems with people with that as their life choice, it was just he was the biggest womanizer on the planet, no doubt! If he was in a body of someone completely different from him who liked men instead... The awkward feelings he felt from that morning in the shower came back to greet him full force.

It made sense. If Zoro liked men, it was only natural that Sanji, in his body, would feel a few effects of it. It would certainly explain the reaction he'd just had to this porn DVD. Crap. He could feel his face heating up. Sanji could only pray Zoro didn't have a boyfriend. NOT because he cared or not if the guy was shacking up with another - he just didn't want to pretend in that kind of relationship. He bit his tongue just trying to think of what to say so he didn't screw up this day any more than he already had.

"Are you the guy on the top or the bottom?"

Sanji instantly regretted asking, watching as Zoro's expression changed and went rather confused. Zoro just tilted his head, staring straight at Sanji in silence. Of course he wouldn't reveal that kind of private information out to just anyone, certainly not to some guy he'd only known for like two days, but Sanji's sarcastic, somewhat crude subconscious just couldn't stop. No wonder the guy hadn't had a problem with Sanji peeing with his moss penis or doing things in his body in general.

Or maybe Zoro just didn't understand, they probably had different terms for such positions here. Sanji turned his face away, a bit more flustered than before. Why did he feel so panicked and exposed at the same time? Dammit, he hadn't even thought or remembered the fact that whatever he seemed to feel while in Zoro's body, the spirit got a full dose of. Could he sense all of this right now?

"You..." Zoro breathed out, seemingly realizing something. Sanji silenced him though before he could try explaining anything.

"Forget it. What you do in your spare time is none of my business, I'm just the guy stuck in your body. Just know if some asshole comes around expecting me to bend over, I'll kill him. That's where I draw the line." Sanji quickly pressed the eject button to switch out that DVD with the correct English teaching one. "This whole mess is just so shitty fantastic."

At least Zoro seemed to understand when there was obvious sarcasm in Sanji's voice. He made a sound in his throat, lowering his brows at how quickly Sanji shut him out. "No. No boyfriend," he growled, followed by his own native tongue with some colorful choice of words. Then he repeated the insult Sanji himself had just used. "Asshole."

Sanji had just finished putting the new DVD in the machine and turning the volume on the television down as some sponsor ads came up, when he jerked his head back at that comment. Oh, now the guy wanted to play parrot and call each other names. Well, he was flustered and ticked off enough to take that bait. He stood up, facing the apparition whose appearance he shared and glared back at him.

"What'd you call me, bastard? You're the only asshole here. I'm stuck in this stupid shitty body of yours trying to pass off as your dumb ass, the least you could do is let me know shit about you first!" This trend of finding things out the hard way, face to face with sword wielding bastards and loud pornographics, was getting old quick for an already exhausted cook.

*" _Urusai_! You don't... about you, shit." Zoro's voice drifted, the words he was going to borrow from what Sanji had said among the others he thought he knew escaped his grasp. Instead he just looked off and away from Sanji's direction. "Who are you?"

For some reason, the familiar question had Sanji's face softening. Here he was, trying to get mad at the bastard for not telling him shit about how to act and be like him, when Sanji hadn't even in the slightest made an effort to tell Zoro who he really was, or anything about him other than his name and his opinions on Zoro's life. Had he even a chance to, though, with everything happening?

He took a step to the side, being careful enough to walk around the ghost man, regardless if he really didn't need to.

"It's not important," he muttered under his breath, though deciding not to go into details right away because he was still a bit taken aback. "Just watch your thing."

Sanji went and sat down at the table, a guilty sort of feeling weighing him down. It was only the second day and already they were fighting about nothing and he was screwing up even more stuff with Zoro. He was too stubborn, most likely. Why did he even deserve to have a say about anything, the way he'd already changed Zoro's life? Thought that he could just say whatever he wanted and throw stupid stuff that catches him off guard in Zoro's face? Of course it was going to take him off guard, they were strangers! They couldn't know anything about one another.

But he just had to open his big mouth, accusing Zoro, when he himself had been the more tight lipped. He had the luxury of being mostly anonymous while Zoro, unfortunately, was being forced to share his personal life and his body. Sanji crumbled his trash, trying not to be too loud. Not that Zoro seemed to even really be paying attention to the program, he had a more complex look on his face and it wasn't about the Japanese introduction to the course. At least Sanji hoped that's what the DVD was explaining and not just some random thing that ripped off their dwindling funds.

Sanji clenched his teeth, trying to convince himself he wasn't totally at fault here. He was a victim, in a sense, as well. Zoro having tastes for men was a big thing and changed a lot and had Sanji's hair still standing on end. Not in a disgusted, freaked out way so much as a 'this changed everything' way. Though, frustrated, Sanji could not wrap his mind around how many things it changed. It just felt different, but then again, finally knowing was a bit of a relief too. Especially that he didn't have a boyfriend. But only for not having to pretend to be him in a relationship, that's it. No other reason.

Sanji thought about it some more, until finally putting his palm down on the table, his mind made. Dammit why was he such a sucker for this?

"I was a cook before I woke up in your stupid body," he blurted out, watching as Zoro's eyes snaked over to him to watch.

"You cook?" The bastard sounded a little surprised and his eyesight distinctly went to the wrappers in Sanji's hand that was clearly made by someone else. "Shit cook."

Sanji's eyebrow twitched and he looked down at the wrapper in question then back at Zoro, willing to toss it at his face except it would just fall to the floor and be something he'd have to pick up himself. "Oi, I'm an amazing chef, get that into your thick skull. Desperate times call for desperate measures here and with big bulky ass hands like these," Sanji was sure to hold them out for a second for emphasis, "I'd probably end up screwing it all up."

Zoro hummed in the back of his throat and with his hands, pretended one was a dish the other, in a circular motion was washing. Sanji growled at Zoro's sarcasm, not appreciating the unspoken title of dish washer, but promptly ignored it and moved on.

"You're the one that said you wanted to know more so just listen. I'm an  _excellent chef_  and I help run one of the best restaurants in France, The Baratie." Sanji would have cringed a bit at the way his own slight accent clung to his words, but in the end it somewhat helped his case.

Zoro, relaxed in his state of mild interest, hushly attempted to pronounce the restaurant's name, but gave up when all he got was a load of not the right word. He raised his head a bit, however, and looked toward Sanji when something peaked his interest.

"French?" he said just the word for Sanji to know what he was getting at. "English?"

Sanji actually had to explain this quite a bit. He knew and was pretty fluent, for the most part, in English despite being born in a country that didn't speak it naturally.

"I was actually born in France, but moved over to the US pretty young. Grew up going to school there. Didn't need my French much over there, though the accent kind of stuck, and was out of touch from it for a while. But I made sure to practice for when I went back after graduating. I'm no expert in either languages really, both are shitty to learn, but I've still considered myself bilingual since. Just..." he paused. "Don't quiz me on it."

Sanji's eyes were looking into Zoro's now almost expectantly. He'd kind of opened himself up like a book now, of course he wanted to see any possible reaction. Unfortunately Zoro's face was exercising its talent at being difficult to read. Did he understand anything Sanji had just tried to tell him? Surely at least something stuck? Damn, why did he feel this unusual urge to chat away again just to kill the silence - which he was being a tad melodramatic about, it'd been a few moments at most without a response.

"Bonjour," Zoro's lips curled as he spoke.

Sanji nearly jumped at him to kick his ass, only stopped by common sense, since he'd just tackle the floor. Asshole. Who listens to that and just responds like a teasing bastard? Zoro was clearly pleased with whatever way Sanji's expression had changed because he cracked a grin.

"Alright bastard, how do you understand English then?" Zoro couldn't speak it fluently, his words were obviously broken, but he seemed to have somewhat of a grasp of where they should be and he never seemed to not understand Sanji. Unless he was just good at acting that he did.

"Bonjour," Zoro parroted, knowing full well the reaction it would get out of Sanji, who was dying to take a kick at him, if only he were physical.

"Bastard, you think you're cute, don't you? I swear when this is over you won't walk for weeks," Sanji breathed out irritably, before his eyes widened and he realized what he said.

Zoro just raised his eyebrow, his grin ever evident. "Oh?"

"No! Not like that! Fuck, I'm going to kick your ass I swear. Enjoy being a ghost, dumbass."

Quickly, Sanji got up and tumbled over to the bed, resisting the warmth rising on his face, as he went straight underneath the covers. Sleep, he needed sleep. That was the only place he could seemingly go and be free from this bastard and the weird dual life they were currently sharing. That, and he could only hope this would blow over by then and that bastard's damn chuckling would end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Have you even watched the show? OTL XD It means like moron, idiot, dumbass, stuff like that. Google translate couldnt find it though ;;
> 
> *Is a phrase in Japan that means it cannot be helped.
> 
> *Basically he's telling Sanji to shut up.


	6. Chapter 6

**VI.**

"Cook."

Great, Zoro was asking for something again. It was slowly getting on a very exhausted Sanji's nerves. It'd been a week easily now since Sanji had lost their one source of income and the job search in Japan wasn't moving along so smoothly. It had Sanji exhausted, more so than usual in a rock of a body and stressed to the core. He was leaning over a notebook where he'd sketched out several 'plans', but at the moment he could not read any of them.

"Why do you even use those DVDs if you don't use what they teach you?" he muttered, getting up. He was a bit woozy and all he could do was look at the mountain of crumpled newspapers where he'd tried to translate the "for hire" section. Even when he did, he never understood them anyway and Zoro, unfortunately, was not the best translator yet.

"Dammit, I'm trying to find us a job."

"Cook."

Dammit there he was again, calling for him.

What was he trying to get at? Was he harassing him now because that hadn't worked? Oh great, just thinking of the possibility was bringing back memories of what had happened a couple days back. Sanji had been an idiot, thinking that for sure his cooking abilities could come and save the day.

Wrong. Very wrong. This was like a nightmare, replaying what had happened. He was personally humiliated at the time, but numb more than anything now realizing no one who actually knew him would know. The fact this weird swordsman's strength combined with a simple knife to do some prep work set them back a few in debt because lets face it, Zoro was apparently on steroids, even if his dick size didn't suggest it.

"We'd be lucky if they don't have our face on 'do not serve' signs." Sanji's voice dropped down to a mutter and he looked away from Zoro and back at his 'plans'. "If we're going to do this, I can't keep trying to pretend to be you, or myself. It's not working."

"Cook."

"They did seem interested in my English, though. Maybe if I act like a shitty foreigner-" There was a snort from his side because, yes Zoro, he knew he was technically the shitty foreigner and it'd be a pretty natural performance. "-instead of you, we might be able to find something. But what?"

There was a grunt to his side, like a kid not getting any attention, but Sanji didn't care. Suddenly there was a relief, like his mind had finally found the possibility to a new approach for their job hunting that he couldn't think of before. And now, with that new perspective in mind, he could look at these jobs differently. Except, didn't that pile of crumpled newspaper look a lot larger?

That didn't really matter, for once there was a new goal that didn't involve swords or humiliating experiences with bulky clumsy cooking hands.

"Cook."

Son of a bitch. Sanji turned his face, growling, damn he knew how to be annoying didn't he? "Why do you-"

Sanji froze in place, swallowing thickly. Now, he was about 80% positive this was a dream. Close to him, unexpectedly close, was Zoro's face and almond eyes. Not just in the usual way where Sanji wouldn't have bothered, but physically solid and very much real. He could practically imagine the sound of his breath and the heat from his body creeping up in his space. Or was that the heat traveling to Sanji's face? It was really hard to decide in these things.

Sanji tried moving away, but Zoro followed like a predator set on prey. Zoro's face, in this reality, wore his expressions far better, more seriously, no longer a grumpy ghost on the sidelines. Sanji stopped trying to lean away. He didn't get weird freaky dreams like this often, his brain must've decided and wanted to torture him with such an unusual scene. Sanji's inner monologue was still trying to decide if this had just taken a nightmarish turn or went warped like strange dreams about a friend's hot mom that held no real meaning.

"Cook," Zoro breathed, moving his hand to lift Sanji's chin fairly gently, but still keeping eye contact. "You can be Robin."

Sanji's eyes widened slightly. A Batman reference? Seriously, at a time like this? But not even that, Zoro's voice had been different. In a sense it wasn't very dream-like at all, it was real, like right in his ear. Like in damn reality-

Sanji exhaled and his eyes opened quickly, darting over to the side straight into a stalking bastard's face. Dammit, he'd known it, no wonder his conscious immediately woke up. He thrashed, a bit startled, but held back the instinct to kick at the air, not wanting to mistake it for a physical being when in fact it was just Zoro. A very close, in his space out of a dream, staring at him while he slept, Zoro. Sanji cursed under his breath, rolling off the side of the futon quickly and onto his feet, rubbing at his cheek, trying to get it to calm from his unconscious show.

"Oi," Zoro grouched, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched Sanji move so quickly.

Whereas Sanji was catching his breath enough to process what the hell just happened. "What the fuck were you doing?" he growled, stumbling back. "You think you're funny? I should kick your ass!"

Zoro very visibly rolled his eyes, but pushed himself out of his crouch and straight up on his feet. "You sleep talk." He brought it up so nonchalantly.

Sleep talk? Fuck, so he'd been listening in on who knows what Sanji had been muttering about? That dream of all the dreams he could've had. The strangest yet productive dream ever. That's right, not a bad dream at all minus the weird finale he was already in the process of trying to bleach away from his mind - it'd given him a plan before all of that if he remembered correctly. Except there were a few spots when he tried to completely visualize and remember it since he was attempting to come back from a morning fright. Truly, Zoro's face was one only a dumbass could love.

Sanji wrinkled his forehead, so what if he was muttering bits and pieces of that in his sleep and the idiot decided to talk back? But what in the world did Batman have to do with that? And thank God the weirdness hadn't been allowed to continue, otherwise there probably would've been mumbled sleep talk he could regret.

"So? What dream were you listening in on? Where the hell did you get Batman? You have a crush on him or something? You have got to be kidding me."

He was rambling a bit, mostly because that whole dream and wake up experience was a bit traumatizing. But Sanji was strong and there was little he wasn't numb to anymore after waking up to the mythical moss penis.

Zoro snorted at that, but didn't outright deny it either. "Good morning." Apparently he wasn't going to elaborate on any of Sanji's curiosities.

Sanji had moved to pull on some pants, half surprised this was one of the few days he hadn't woken up stiff and half ready to get all that off his mind to focus on another day of job hunting when the phrase hit his ears. It was so odd, hearing the familiar greeting come from Zoro, even if he could hear it in his voice any day by saying it himself. He finished buttoning his pants and glanced at the apparition across from him with a raised brow. It was also a bit suspicious hearing Zoro so formal and actually wishing him a good morning considering their relationship of teasing and annoyances so far, but what was even more curious was the feeling it gave Sanji in his gut. A feeling that was a bit like the one he'd had just now in his dream. Was it a lingering effect from it since he still hadn't totally shaken it off? Maybe, or maybe it was a bit of pride at hearing those DVDs they had invested some of the last of their money in weren't a total waste.

"Very good Zoro," Sanji was sure to dip that compliment in sarcasm he knew Zoro would just  _love_. "Did you wake me up just so you could say that?"

Zoro's glare intensified and he moved across the room and towards his television then gestured towards the screen on some kind of menu section. "Replay."

One of the first English words Zoro had officially learned since those DVDs, mainly because it was what Sanji kept complaining about having to do. Constantly he was replaying everything over and over for Zoro so he could take his time and at least try and be useful. Not being physical at the moment had its very real downside in helping their situation and, although Zoro understood that wasn't really his fault, he expressed already once to Sanji he felt he should. That he needed to.

Sanji pulled his head out of a hoodie and stretched. "No can do, today we're going out." That didn't sound strange did it? "To find a job," he corrected himself.

Zoro's expression sadly didn't seem so enthusiastic. If anything, he almost looked disappointed to have to leave his television. It was kind of his only entertainment these days besides, of course, Sanji. Sanji just shook his head slightly at that, moving over to turn off the television and grab their essentials.

"Where?" Zoro finally asked, watching Sanji as he moved around. "How?"

Wow, way to show his support. It was obvious after Sanji tried to get a cooking gig and it blew up in their faces that he wasn't totally confident they'd be able to find another job. Let alone something worthy, to his standards, since nothing would ever be able to compare to his dream swordsman job. Something Sanji was still being guilted for by occasional looks when they were on the job subject or whenever one of their attentions fell in the direction of his swords, which were now tucked away safely.

"Well obviously I can't go back  _there_ ," Sanji started off, fully meaning that he wasn't going anywhere near the end of town where the latest failure had taken place. "I figure we can just go to the train station, get off the next stop we haven't been to yet and go from there."

Maybe, just maybe, there was a part of Sanji looking towards this as a fresh start and a little bit of an adventure. He was playing a tourist right now so why not feel like one for once, it wasn't a death sentence to be around here, not yet anyway. If he was more relaxed about something that would help him achieve what he wanted, right? He would come off as lax too, right? It was much better than a homesick, forced to be here, fake smile, that's for sure.

But as Sanji caught his appearance in the hanging mirror once more, he cringed slightly. Every single damn morning, this was a part of this whole messed up experience that would never change, he would never get used to seeing not only Zoro's face, but the exact copy of it in his own new reflection. Scratch off looking approachable, that wasn't an option given the body he was in. But Sanji would still try.

He attempted to smooth down the moss on his head by running his fingers through it, pausing when they came down close to his ears, noticing Zoro's earrings. Of course this wasn't the first time he'd noticed them, he wasn't stupid and unobservant. Hell if anything, he was overly observant and more so than he would have ever liked to be in a some bastard's body. Just, if he was going to be asking around for job interviews he should at least try and look professional, shouldn't he? It was bad enough somehow, by some freak accident probably, the hair was actually naturally green. Although, he could easily fit the profile of a delinquent with these things, it was painfully obvious that wasn't really what Zoro was. He was just a shithead.

"No." Speaking of the shithead, he appeared behind Sanji in the reflection, his eyes on Sanji's fingers as they slowly felt the metal of his earrings.

It didn't sound as if he was up for any kind of compromising either. The pattern things seemed to have around here had Sanji curious if these too held some sort of significant meaning other than being the same amount as Zoro's swords. Maybe he just had a thing for threes, which is why Sanji was more thankful than ever that Zoro didn't have a boyfriend, or boyfriends, apparently.

Sanji rolled his eyes, standing up and straightening his clothes. Then he glanced around just to make sure he didn't leave anything left on, God forbid the only place they had left went up in flames. They wouldn't be eating breakfast this morning, which went against a lot of what Sanji was used to, but he was just too focused on trying to get into the workforce once more. Rejuvenated from rest, he was back in the game. And, of course, also a bit curious as to another section of Japan not yet explored. They'd gone maybe two train stops tops the whole time he'd been here, trying to find work close and that Zoro had even the slightest idea about.

Even though it was technically morning for Sanji, it didn't mean it was bright and early for everyone. Sanji used to have a well-kept schedule, an internal clock that refused to stray, but that was all before he piloted the all you can sleep machine. So when they did arrive to the train station, it wasn't that much of a surprise that it was hardly crowded. Sanji didn't mind that, though, without a rush like there'd been the other days when he tried to get up early and make good impressions it gave him time to stop and really look at the map and take in what some of these signs had to tell him. Not without the help of his handy dandy translation dictionary, of course.

Sanji stopped for a moment, reaching out and pointing a finger at some of the words, looking at the symbols long enough so he could move to look them up in his book. Zoro probably found it annoying or pointless, given he just got to stand around with his arms folded across his chest during this, but Sanji wasn't taking any chances of getting lost like him. He'd fallen for that one too many times even though he'd vowed never to let Zoro lead him again; he'd know the names of the places they were going to.

"What about here?" Sanji muttered lowly to himself, pointing to one of the spots on the list. Crowded or not, he still wasn't going to look crazy talking out loud to himself too much.

Zoro's eyes, which were staring off and people watching, flickered back to Sanji and the board, glancing at the stop in question. He gave a solid shake of his head in a definite no. Sanji huffed. He wasn't really expecting a big long reason as to why the idiot didn't want to go there, but it didn't change that he was curious anyway.

On his own scribbled paper where he made his own English notes about the map that was currently being used like a bookmark, he marked out that spot.

"Fine then, genius, are there any places we can go?" He decided to challenge, moving to put his dictionary in his hoodie's pocket, his eyes still directed at the map. Honestly, he was the one in control, wasn't he? He should just pay attention to the places they pass until he saw something promising.

"Oi-" Zoro jerked his head over a tad too late to see what was happening.

Sanji, dumbfounded, stumbled backward while his eyes tried to quickly adjust to what had been shoved into his face. And it was an understatement to say his face blushed only moderately. He went from Zoro's tan to tomato red in seconds when met with the sight of an adorable lady dressed in a maid's outfit, hugging unusually close to another beautiful lady, who was dressed as a schoolgirl on a business card. He had to resist the urge to snatch it, noticing the way the two models pressed themselves closer almost more than a hug, but in a way that kept both their busts in focus just to tempt him. He was screwed. They both were, yet again. Zoro hadn't even gotten to see Sanji succumb to his weakness first hand yet, but it would've happened sooner or later for sure.

"Tada!" the young woman behind the card exclaimed playfully, followed by some Japanese, a smile never leaving her face.

Sanji embarrassingly grabbed at his face, trying to calm down. There was a time to noodle and a time not to noodle and while playing Zoro, he definitely shouldn't. And even if he wasn't Zoro, he wasn't sure what the lady was even getting at or telling him, he knew better than to jump to conclusions. Still that didn't change the fact she was so cute, a princess among many here in Japan, no doubt.

Sanji lowered his hand, his eyebrows lowering awkwardly as he'd try to explain this. "Sorry I don't really speak-"

"Oh!" The girl wasn't a bit fazed, but apparently very friendly. She gestured for Sanji's hand, which he didn't think twice about giving, and put the card safely in his palm before closing it for him. "You visit tonight! Big discount."

"Wait I-"

"Very fun, okay? Bye!"

She was good at being elusive, that was for sure. Like it was nothing, she swiftly slid around Sanji and onto the train before the doors shut. Impeccable timing, Sanji was impressed. Well, not just about that, he was about all of it and was clinging to that business card with his heart beating erratically, dying to try and go after her and talk more. But he didn't even need to look over at Zoro to predict a very real glare and a solid denial to crush his hopes. His brain remained distracted and awkward, but before the train took off, he reached out.

"Wait, miss!" Of course, by then it was too late, his conscious already knew that, but he was still standing there, arm held in the air like an idiot and everything as she just half waved and the train went off on its merry way.

Sanji finally dropped his arm then, gritting his teeth a bit as he looked down at the business card in his hand. Damn, the first real time he got to actually talk with a delicate flower since coming to Japan and he'd let her slip through his fingers. Not only did he let her get away, but she left during a miscommunication! What if she was really expecting him to come see her this evening? Couldn't wait until then?

"Dammit, come on, we have to go after her."

There was a rather loud and unblunt 'huh' from behind him at that decision. It was a good thing that Neanderthal couldn't be heard by everyone, because no doubt it would've been rude. Sanji turned around to glance at him just a moment then back at the map to compare where the address on the card apparently was.

"Don't 'huh' me. She's waiting for me, you heard her!"

Zoro moved closer into his space, his eyes very judging. He lifted a ghostly hand and prodded, or would have if he didn't just faze through things, at Sanji's very flushed cheeks. "Oi, you…" He almost sounded agitated, maybe even offended. "The fuck?"

Granted, it probably was a little strange to see his own body blushing, Sanji didn't see what the big deal was. It was his duty as a good person to let that woman know he couldn't make it as much as he really, really wished he could. Maybe one day, yes, when he was back in his own body and could really get to know her and cook for her…

"Her job!" Zoro's finger pointed down to the card.

Sanji glowered at him, clasping his hand around he business card almost protectively. It might have been her job, it made sense maybe, but still he felt an honest need to chase after her and explain this. But now, actually, that he thought about it, stupid Zoro was making sense. Shit, he'd gotten distracted and totally fallen for some ruse. On the bright side, she'd actually believed he was a foreigner.

So why did he still really, really want to go? If there was another thing his dream told him, it was that he was exhausted and had been trying very hard lately. He deserved some R&R, didn't he? If there was one place he wanted to spend it… if there was a place here in Japan where these types of pictures weren't just on business cards… that was it. He was going. That was final. He had a very manly need to and would write it off as research or something otherwise.

"I'm still going." Sanji slid the business card back into his pocket and went to wait for the next train.

His resolve only seemed to boil Zoro's blood even more. "Money? Job?"

Sanji took a deep breath. "Vacation. Ladies."

-0-

For appearance reasons, of course, and because Zoro was the spitting image of a pouting five year old, they didn't speak on the train ride or out of the station. Sanji was still a bit giddy when they arrived, totally ready to just see what this place was like. He knew realistically he might've had his hopes high, expecting girls dressed in maid costumes everywhere walking around. How little he knew that, although they wouldn't be around in person, they'd be around on several billboards, signs and windows in not only small, but large sizes too.

This was it. This was his heaven. His All freaking Blue. Like a moron, Sanji just stood in silence, looking at everything, trying to take in all the street had to offer although it was still very much daytime and it probably looked far more spectacular in the evening with such angelic faces illuminated.

*"Sont mes yeux me trompent ? Belles demoiselles! J'ADORE LE JAPON!" Sanji must've looked disapproving as ever in his new found love for Japan, however, because Zoro just huffed, glaring off at the signs Sanji was admiring.

"Oi. What's got your panties in a twist?"

Zoro met his eyes with a disapproving and judging expression. "Panties?"

Of course, that would be the random English word he'd understand from that statement. Sanji groaned lowly, running his fingers through his hair quickly before putting his hands down into his pockets. Basically, one sided conversations were the absolute best.

"Don't even act innocent bastard, who was the one with the porn?" Sanji reminded, then looked back at the endless landscape of possible fantasy. "Where do I even start?"

Zoro snorted. "Broke."

Did he always have to bring that up? Sanji knew he stressed about them being pretty much broke and in need of employment, but when Zoro did it, it was just irritating. Especially when Sanji was in his new favorite place in the world. So what if he had to act like he was looking at it through glass, close but not close enough to touch? He could still view and plan for a later time, for sure.

"Bastard, we aren't staying here long. I'm just sightseeing."

And no green ghost sasquatch was going to stop him. Sanji chose the side of the street to his right and began walking, his gaze moving back and forth from each half of the street. Most people would have enjoyed sightseeing for actual historical places or pretty landscapes, but this environment fit well with Sanji on a spiritual level.

He stopped when he came across a standing ad against a building. It was another stunning lady, of course, but this time she was dressed for the kitchen. Not appropriately, Sanji could spot a few errors right away, but it didn't make the frilly apron she wore and the flour on her nose any less cute. One day he would have a lady like that, he was sure, when he had his body back.

"Oi, Zoro," Sanji breathed out softly. "How do you say a beautiful lady? Like an angel."

There was a long pause and Sanji could feel Zoro staring at him, probably analyzing what he had asked and what he meant by it. Sanji glanced over, meeting his eyes. He had understood hadn't he, Sanji secretly hoped. If not, this was awkward even if only Sanji realized he'd been left hanging without an answer. Or did Zoro actually need to contemplate this? Sanji really couldn't ever be completely sure.

*"Yaoi."

Sanji blinked for just a moment then looked back at the picture in the ad. "Yaoi." He half grinned. "I love yaois."

So, one day, he'd have a yaoi. It didn't sound as romantic as it could've, sure, but not every language could be a language of love, he supposed.

Zoro let out a bark of laughter, startling Sanji slightly, causing him to jerk back a bit, his face warming only slightly. "What? Did I say it wrong? Asshole, how did you say it? Yaoi!" Regardless, Zoro kept laughing.

Sanji's face darkened in his humiliation of actually trying to learn anything from that bastard and he turned away from him, storming down the road once more in the direction of literally anywhere else, several curses on his lips. Well, it wasn't like he wasn't technically humiliating himself anyway by openly speaking to Zoro at all. That bastard should be grateful Sanji was talking to him regardless of looks so he didn't get antisocial or bored out of his mind. Not that there were any indications he wasn't antisocial already. Sanji carried his phone everywhere just in case and kept it charged – regardless of not knowing how the hell to read it's words or how it worked – but it never once did it seem to go off.

Before he could really speculate how lonely Zoro was and on the verge of adopting a bunch of cats, a familiar icon caught Sanji's eye. Across the street, on a sign of a building, was an Eiffel tower. Of course, seeing that around on stuff wasn't exactly rare, but the part of him that was a bit homesick connected to it immediately and he found his feet taking him across the street to get a closer look. Apparently, the place was using Paris as its theme. It wasn't open yet, hardly anything on this street was open before the night life hours, but there was a smaller metal sign, written in French. Some kind of mission statement maybe, or menu? Maybe just for decor to look authentic?

Spaced out, Sanji wasn't paying too much attention, taking it on himself to attempt to read out loud the jumbled mess of French writing. It wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last time he'd ever see it badly translated to try and promote something, but it was amusing nonetheless. Another theme he saw a lot in Japan was that they seemed to romanticize his home country a lot. It wasn't until Zoro said his name that he even looked over and saw some random guy approaching, sprouting Japanese as he came.

Was he yelling at him or something? But for what, to get out of the way? What was Sanji doing wrong when he was just reading a sign, did they think he was making fun of it? This oughta be good.

"Uh… Come again?"

"Sugoi…" The guy seemed surprised now more than anything. "French and English? Please! Do you want a job?"

What? He'd heard him talking to himself, then? Wait a minute, what!? Sanji knew he had new goals to go about getting a job and a new found determination, but this was just weird. Why was fate going to help him out now, of all times? It seemed highly suspicious. But damn did they need a job. He needed to get back home already, didn't he?

Sanji swallowed thickly. He didn't even know what the job was, it could be anything, but still being asked if he wanted a job on the spot like this, it seemed almost too good to pass up… Zoro, though, he should definitely consult Zoro first, right? But that asshole! Did he get lost even trying to follow him across the street? He was a shit ghost stalker, dammit, and the guy just kept staring at him expectantly.

"Yeah, sure, please," he blurted out, willingly getting himself into more messes. "Doing what?"

"Are you good with drinks?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Sanji says : "Are my eyes deceiving me? Beautiful ladies! I LOVE JAPAN!"
> 
> * You should know what yaoi means. smh. The Japanese genre of media that focuses on homoerotic romantic or sexual relationships between males.


	7. Chapter 7

VII.

Sanji really needed to stop meeting Zoro's reflection like this. He scowled into his dark eyes, his throat a little awkwardly swollen as he took in what he was staring at. Adamantly, Sanji refused to look down, he refused to take in the full image that was Zoro's fucking body, primped and pampered to be a host of all things. Dressed to impress and win all the hearts. Wasn't that freaking messed up.

It made Sanji wrinkle his nose and he watched as his rather green reflection mimicked it, irritatingly just like the real thing, despite if its actual operator was Sanji at the moment. Not that Sanji, in a fit of not knowing if he should be annoyed, excited or a mix of the two, didn't take advantage of it in order to stick his tongue out childishly anyway. Honestly, why did he care? He was the one wanting to find a job immediately so that they could get cash. He was a self-proclaimed ladies' man, this seemed just as equally an easy job to him as cooking, right?

But dammit, he mentally stomped his foot. Why did he have to have a dream job while he was Zoro? He let out a grunt, glaring down and putting his focus elsewhere, this time at the damn tie that refused to cooperate. Zoro's fingers were so stupid too. First they were partly the reason Sanji was a joke in Japan for attempting to cook and now they were sassing him even more. Laughing at him probably because, not only did he have to live with this face, he'd have to live with them too. And every single day back home that Sanji tied his ties oh so elegantly wouldn't be happening here if it was the last thing they did. Since, what was the point of a so called body swap if things could ever go the way he was used to, right?

Nearly cutting off his circulation, Sanji ripped the strip of fabric off from around his stupid thick neck and tossed it to the side. He was accustomed to the life of a ladies man, sure, and he knew dressing to impress was important for any job, not just one where he'd be serving women. But he'd rather die than go out looking like a five year old tried to tie his tie, though it could've been very realistic to Zoro's actual ability to do it, for all he knew. It was a wonder Zoro wanted to be a swordsman considering his current track record of not being able to do one little tiny morsel of a delicate thing Sanji's usual image counted on.

The tie now forgotten and somewhere across the dressing room, Sanji brought his focus back down and toward his chest. This broad and stupid chest, he might add. Usually, he wouldn't have gone out of his way to add so many negative comments as he went along doing whatever he needed to do, but lately it seemed to be necessary. He was excited about the job, this was true, but it was important he kept reminding himself that this wasn't his life, he was just borrowing it. And somehow, by totally sound logic, going out of his way to overly insult everything that was Zoro's, was going to do that. Or maybe he was still jealous, just maybe, but that was a very slim possibility.

Trying to make himself feel a little bit better, he glanced at his sleeve where he'd done some slight patchwork that morning. Truthfully, that's probably when Sanji would've enjoyed seeing his reflection most, seeing the body of this big grumpy cat trying stitch work, but in the end he was thankful enough he was able to pull it off. They both got really lucky Zoro had this dress shirt tucked away somewhere in his tiny apartment that they could use, since looking nice was a big part of the job. Part of Sanji was curious as to why he even had a shirt like this, but wasn't even about to ask. If he knew anything from history, it would probably proceed into the story of how it was torn in the first place and knowing Zoro and his unique near death interests, Sanji wasn't sure he honestly really wanted to know.

Still, Sanji couldn't help but get slightly sentimental. Wearing a dress shirt like this, even while in someone else's body, filled him with an odd state of nostalgia he couldn't just shrug off. It reminded him of back home, dressing well and heading down to the restaurant. If he wasn't so proud he might've recognized it as homesickness, but instead he tried dismissing it. Everyone back home at The Baratie was probably holding up fine. There was very little that could set them off track.

That was a dangerous line of thought Sanji wasn't ready to venture into yet, however. He was still unsure about the events that brought him here and the unnerving fact he didn't know what happened to him or his real body. Today, starting a new and unique job as a part time host, but mainly a full time bartender somewhere in Japan, the time wasn't really right for speculation on such things.

Lost in his thoughts, it wasn't until Sanji took a nice full inhale that he noticed what he'd been doing. At some point, these stupid Zoro fingers had moved and lifted the shirts collar a bit to his nose. For what reason, he wasn't sure, maybe it was an internal need just to see if it would have some sort of scent of home, but instead was numbed by the parfum de Zoro this body was absolutely drenched in.

It was beyond obvious he was over the deep end now, at the point where, without even realizing it, he was sniffing Zoro's stuff. Quickly, he dropped his hand and corrected the collar, turning his face far away and taking in fresh air instead. Not that Zoro's smell was really that rank, Sanji wouldn't allow a smelly body or something, it was just something very weird and awkward to think about. Especially when the reflection of whose body this belonged to looked just as awkward about it in the mirror's reflection.

Sanji could only be glad in that instance that Zoro wasn't around, doing some stupid ghost like stuff elsewhere for the time being instead. It would've been really difficult and uncomfortable to try and explain something like this. Granted, if it had happened he could have just shrugged it off and explained it on cultural differences which was a nice go-to excuse for things, but he really didn't want to start giving off the impression that's the sort of thing people did back home. Sniffing each other's button up shirts, acting weird about it.

Sanji met his reflection's eyes and growled lightly to himself at how they had Zoro's constantly judging expression which was somewhat appropriate in that moment. He was strongly tempted to foolishly tell the damn reflection where it could shove such a gaze, but since he was in fact the one in control and probably judging himself, he decided against it. Instead, Sanji put his focus elsewhere, which wasn't the smartest of moves, since sticking to either an article of clothing or Zoro's eyes helped Sanji maintain some very odd focus. When his sight fell on Zoro's body as a whole as of late, his mind really began to wander, especially into the unknown and confusing territory Sanji's conscious was always weaving in and out of when it came to Zoro.

He was convinced there was nothing wrong with a man admiring how another man looked, certainly not if the first guy was responsible for the other looking as presentable as he probably did, so Sanji didn't feel too guilty about checking Zoro's body out. If anything, he felt guiltier constantly thinking it was such a huge task to accomplish and it required tons of thought and work put into it. That was actually far from the truth. Why Zoro spent his days swinging around swords and doing stupid stuff, Sanji would never understand because he was naturally equipped with features perfect for this area of expertise, that was for sure. No wonder the guy who had approached them on the street was so excited when Sanji agreed to the job. Knowing some languages he could enchant and flatter women with was just a very small part of the equation to work in a host club, but appearance was everything else and, although Sanji really didn't want to admit it, Zoro was doing better than good in that department.

Zoro's shitty body was toned and bronzed, whatever the idiot was doing most of his life that was for his ultimate sword goal was apparently exactly what lots of guys hoping to look lady killer really needed to do. Sanji glanced at his arm and then back at the mirror feeling like an idiot, half thinking maybe he should work out and going to look at his own arm only to realize it was Zoro's. Being in his body was like a bodybuilder cheat sheet, in the arm area at least. Sanji confidently knew he had the best legs in the business, though unfortunately, that wasn't a great sales point with women and-

What was he thinking about now? The hell? So Zoro is an idiot for not taking advantage of his features to please ladies earlier, why did Sanji care? He was in control now to use the assets Zoro didn't put to good use before. And although the goal would be different, he wouldn't get to please as many women as his heart truly desired, the money would be just as satisfactory if it got him back home to his real body. Of course, this situation and experience of working in this place would be several times better if he could be his own natural self, that was a given. Ish.

And miraculously, just like that, any weird thought Sanji had been giving himself about Zoro's appearance, sans hair, was gone. In its place came a conviction that he was doing or admiring was in the interest of both of them. If he had to do this kind of work in someone else's body, of course he'd need it to be an attractive one. How could they make good money in this job otherwise? So, he shouldn't have the slightest remorse now as he tried to spice up Zoro's appearance a bit more.

Sanji started with the moss hair, running his fingers through it and messing it up. It didn't look formal and, since the battle with the tie, Sanji realized, that was Zoro's gimmick that worked. He could work the manicured man route, but this worked better somehow. He could totally understand the earrings now, from this perspective too. If he wasn't so 'in the zone' about it, the angles he was stretching Zoro's neck or looking at his face would've been cringe worthy.

Next he moved down to the button up. Although he himself enjoyed them, there was something that needed to be done for Zoro's body to fully pull it off. Carefully, Sanji unbuttoned the first two buttons, moving his hand out of the way just to see. Still a little awkward, this was the guy who didn't know how to stop lifting weights and swinging swords, right? Fine, he unbuttoned the third off Zoro's body, something he thought he'd never do to another male's clothes in his life. But why the hell would he obsess over that when it was for the greater good?

Still, it worked, three buttons down worked wonders and refusing to think too rationally about it, Sanji's finger brushed up against a part of Zoro's collarbone. How was it he kind of knew what to change on Zoro, just these tiny parts, that made him look a little more appealing? And in the end, did it really pull that off or was it something he really just wanted to do himself? Why was it a moment ago he was proud about it, but now he felt like he should go back to proper and somewhat… not let others see him like this? It had to be because he felt uncomfortable doing something of his own accord and wearing it out on Zoro's body without his permission, right, a morally reasonable response, correct?

There was a very distinct and pleased snort that came from behind and froze Sanji in place, hand still on his collarbone. Fuck, shit, dammit! Zoro was the biggest cockblock. Wait, no, not cockblock, he meant buzzkill. Yeah, that's right, a buzzkill. What would he even be a cockblock to, anyway, Sanji and his body? Pfft, in his dreams, he wished he had some kind of porn DVD about this- dammit! Sanji really needed to stop rambling to himself in a panic via his inner monologue one of these days, he only proceeded to make things a lot worse in little to no time.

"Shut up, this isn't about you! I was just admiring my handiwork; look I think you're ready for civilization." Sanji snatched his hand away.

"Oh?" Zoro didn't sound the least bit convinced.

Sanji turned away from him, hating that he didn't know the full status of his face and what his expression could be giving away. He was so flustered, he could only internally hope it wasn't as obvious on the outside from being, yet again, caught with some very mixed feelings while alone as Zoro. For fucks sake, could he get just at least one moment alone to try and figure some really confusing shit out without the dumbass ghost showing up at the worst possible times to make it look like something completely different? And why did he even need to feel embarrassed about this? It was his body right now too, if he wanted to admire it, shit no, to look at it- dammit.

"Shut up, asshole! Preparing yourself to talk to ladies isn't a shitty joke." Sanji gritted his teeth, trying not to pay much mind to Zoro's chuffs. "Even your body has to look good before stepping near them, got that? And…" His voice drifted off just a moment, thinking of more awful things he could ramble that could bite him in the ass later, of course. "Anything you thought I was feeling just means I did my part, got that?"

Unfortunately and realistically, Zoro most likely understood very little of his explanation and didn't seem fazed or convinced at all. He just continued to smirk in an almost 'knew it' way that made Sanji's skin crawl. Not in an envious sort of way, but Sanji himself still didn't understand what the hell this was supposed to exactly be. He moved to grab a black jacket that he'd laid to the side earlier, something the workplace actually did help provide and had on hand, and pulled it on hoping a work mindset would come over him.

 

 

"Yaois idiot, it's for the yaois," Sanji said confidently, cringing slightly at how it didn't cease Zoro's amusement at all. Not even a smudge. In fact, it seemed to fuel it. Shit, was he still saying it wrong?

-0-

It was a very strange experience, in every definition of the word, to be in Zoro's situation. Never before in his life had Zoro been one for host clubs and, until two weeks ago, he would've barked out in laughter to the face of anyone telling him he'd be employed at one. This kind of line of work, hell this line of social life, was anything but up Zoro's alley and it did nothing other than make him uncomfortable. Even if he himself ever felt the need to find closeness with another, it certainly wouldn't be here. Overpriced and a waste of time, that's what this was, and yet here he was… sitting at the bar of a host club, scowling out in front of him through the dim lighting.

Growling slightly to himself in his grump of all irritable moods, Zoro let his face fall into his ghostly hand. Unfortunately, as much as he didn't like being here or knowing his name was the one listed as an official employee, he'd be stupid not to realize the urgency and why they had to do it. A job was a job and, thanks to a certain someone, they really needed it. The whole plan, or what Zoro understood the plan to be, was banking on the success of this job.

Still, he'd be a liar if he didn't admit, constantly, he didn't like anything about this. It wasn't just the fake flirting with extra clingy women and trying to persuade them to buy expensive drinks while they clung onto his bicep against his control. Honestly, one of the only reassuring things about the situation, in Zoro's opinion, was knowing a certain idiot wouldn't do anything with anybody while in his body from fear of Zoro's ghostly figure drifting in mid bang. It was more the fact that, while the biggest part of the plan was working and raising funds to get them back to normal, it all left him totally helpless about everything.

Zoro pulled his face away from his hand and watched as it tightened into a fist. He didn't feel like an apparition, although he was looking a bit translucent these days, but no matter how much he tried, his strength wasn't with him. He was a soul without a body and utterly useless to their goal. Nothing pissed him off more, he was a man constantly working to tear goals to shreds and now he only got to watch as some stranger he knew very little about tried to essentially save both their asses. He had to remind himself that this was humility he could use for later to strengthen his resolve and to get back on the right track.

It wasn't that Zoro didn't trust this Sanji, except that it kind of was. Like he'd thought before, he didn't know that much about Sanji. For all he knew, the guy could have been waist deep into some weird kind of voodoo shit, determined to steal Zoro's life from him. He doubted that, strongly, but for all he knew, it could've been true. Zoro knew Sanji had had some troubles in his body – since of course it was the body of a future world's greatest swordsman, it wasn't a tool easily wielded – but if he was so great a cook as he'd claimed, surely he could've kept looking for a job such as that and leave both their prides intact.

But Zoro was determined not to let it drag on and continuously be bothered by it anymore. It was a mutual agreement in the end, Sanji – even though he'd instantly blurted out yes when the boss hired him – did ask him if he minded. He should've said yes, but he didn't want to feel even more useless and stuck inside his apartment watching more DVDs to learn English. He wasn't learning the damn things fast enough and with each passing day he regretted sleeping through his English courses back in high school. Little did he know, sitting at a bar watching the guy in his body mix drinks wouldn't be that much more exciting. Though, Sanji did know how to mix drinks, it seemed, which could back up his so called chef claims, maybe, if that's how it worked in France.

Zoro only wished, somewhere in the addict part of his brain, that if Sanji were to take a swig, he could taste it because he could really use a drink right now. He was having one hell of a trip with this body swap stuff. It was so weird, he couldn't touch anything physically himself, but his soul must have still be very much in sync with his body. He didn't taste the things Sanji ate, nor did he feel everything he could, but when it came to certain things and emotions, he could sense and feel Sanji's just as if they were his own. Part of the reason randomly checking in on Sanji became so amusing was that the guy got flustered so easily. That aside, though, it was the reason Zoro could feel Sanji's excitement and nervousness at their new profession.

Outside, of course, Sanji didn't appear that way, he was granted Zoro's determined scowl and most outsiders these first few days of work probably interpreted it just as that, but Zoro could feel that it was different. It was a strange foreign bubbling sensation in his stomach that made him slightly ill, but he adjusted to it easily. Quickly, as the night continued on, however, the excitement outgrew the anxiety easily and Zoro ignored it as best as he could. It was probably for the best anyway because Sanji seemed to love this kind of ladies environment pretty well and if Zoro had to be more honest, he seemed pretty good at the craft.

Although he didn't necessarily want to, combined with his lack of ability to do much else, Zoro's interest peaked and he couldn't help but be curious. Who was this guy really, back home, outside of this situation? Why did he seem like such a natural at pleasing and talking to women? Surely, his little tricks of saying fancy ass words in English or French weren't that big of a party trick back there. Strategically, Zoro could see that was most likely one of Sanji's biggest weaknesses and it was pretty embarrassing too. The guy pretty much went limp like a wet noodle, flailing about like a moron. It was fortunate Zoro didn't know anyone enough who would come to places like this to see his body in such a manner.

Zoro took great pleasure in knowing some of this embarrassment would be worth it to witness some of Sanji's worst moments. For one, Zoro was quite amused at how his lie about what 'yaoi' meant was going over. The idiot stressed so much about buying a dictionary to look words up and learn them and yet this was the one thing he'd ignore and blindly trust Zoro about? It was like a secret improv mission that had become a huge success. One of these days, Sanji was going to slip up and mention it to one of these ladies when trying to show them all the Japanese he was learning and the moment would be priceless.

On the surface, it probably did seem a little mean, but Zoro felt it was justified given the amount of flack he'd been receiving about the porn DVD. For fucks sake, he'd never even gotten to watch the thing, let alone could he have prepared for Sanji's random take over and inspection. Of course a body swap had to happen while Zoro was going through a somewhat experimental part of his life. Like this guy noodling over women didn't watch porn back home in France. Somehow, that seemed like the biggest understatement of this whole event.

Without realizing it, Zoro jerked his eyes away from staring intently at his own face. Sanji, although he really didn't need to, had made a point to not exclude Zoro entirely during the job. Often he would shoot glances in his direction, despite if to everyone else he looked paranoid, constantly looking towards an empty chair. Zoro wasn't sure exactly why he felt the need to, thought maybe he was wanting approval on things he said or just wanted to make sure he still held his audience.

To Zoro it had to strictly be because he had nothing else to do. He wasn't letting his thoughts drift back into curiosity about what Sanji really looked like, if he was a stereotypical flirt – whatever that looked like. The next few days continue like that, Zoro's attention eventually ending up on Sanji's face while he works, while he's leaning over and talking quietly to a client, or their walks back home when he seems satisfied with a job well done. Zoro doesn't know why he gets intrigued sometimes in these bouts of curiosity, he just had them at times.

Progressively, it got easier to see someone apart from his own appearance. Overall that sounds strange, but to Zoro who had looked at his own face for basically his whole life, he could see it. It was the same as when Sanji spoke to him and tried explaining things. There were quirks everywhere that, although they weren't entirely clear, they were shaping a small image of who Sanji really was. Of course, the odd factor always remained the same, hearing yourself talk to yourself while looking like yourself would never truly set in. Sanji's accents were weird on his voice too, but interesting nonetheless.

Sometimes, when he was determined not to look like a nolifer who just sat and watched the guy operating his body like a hawk, Zoro got up from his seat at the bar and wandered around the host club. He wasn't sure if it was part of the gig or not, but he always received vibes of bullshit in this place. Tons of conversations he'd overhear from hosts gushing and complimenting women, having them buy drinks while proclaiming some kind of love that would never be reciprocated. It's all so fake, Zoro at times felt stupid for Sanji, his love seems to be the only legit one around here, but when in Rome… Money was money.

In the end, Zoro realized that wasn't as fun as he thought spying would be. Sitting in close to the bar, overhearing the ladies try and interpret Sanji's English to one another and test him on things was a lot more informative. In their normal conversations Zoro would've never learned half this shit anyway, so why the hell not.

"Zoro, do you have a Facebook?"

Instinctively, Zoro raised his head, turning to look over at the conversation. By now he should've been used to hearing people call his name, but were really calling for Sanji. At least Sanji seemed to still be a little delayed, not yet used to a new name.

"A Facebook?"

Sanji's expression on Zoro's face looked a little blank until something seemed to dawn on him and hit him straight in the face. Yes, another awkward feeling, Zoro just loved sharing that, in a very sarcastic way. Sanji's eyes slowly edged over at Zoro. What, was he expecting him to answer? Of course Zoro had a Facebook. He didn't use it often, but he wasn't completely cut off from the world. Though, he sure as hell wasn't going to let Sanji add all these chicks to his friend list. He did have standards, dammit.

He continued to scowl and Sanji seemed to get the memo, going straight back to talking to the girl. Except, when he did, his attitude didn't seem to stay the same. It was like he couldn't focus, he seemed twitchy and, for once, like he couldn't wait for it to be time to leave so he could get the hell out of here. Zoro knew because he could feel it and it was out of Sanji's usual fashion enough to catch his attention and pull him up in his seat. What was this about?

It didn't stop as the night went on, either. Sanji bolted out of there toward the subway and Zoro followed behind, perplexed. Did he just get some kind of bright idea or something he couldn't wait to go and write down? It was hard to ask him about it since everywhere they went on their way back was filled with people and not much room for him to reply without looking crazy. Instead, it left Zoro irritated and tired of saying his 'oi's' to try and get his attention.

Until of course they got back to the apartment, Zoro refused to be ignored in his own home.

"Oi." He glared at Sanji as he peeled his jacket away. "Shoes."

In a weird state of mind or not, Zoro wasn't going to excuse Sanji waltzing in with his shoes on. Sanji finally looked at him, then down to his shoes and kicked them off, silently moving some of Zoro's stuff. Zoro followed, of course, growling as he went.

"Sanji-" he started, about to ask because it had seemed like he would have to, but Sanji finally spoke. Sanji pulled Zoro's laptop out and turned it on, waiting as it was starting up.

"Facebook. Why didn't I think of that? I can't believe I didn't even think of the shitty internet." Sanji grit his own teeth. "Here, what the hell is your password."

Zoro's eyebrows lowered and he looked at the laptop. So all of this was because Sanji wanted to get online? Because of Facebook? Ah. It finally made sense. If Sanji could get on his Facebook, his real life Facebook – the one associated with his real body – Zoro could finally get to see what he looked like. That was probably Zoro's own selfish reasoning for wanting to see it and not why Sanji was in such a fuss over it. If anything, it was probably to get a glance at what was happening back home.

He reached out and pointed to the correct password keys and watched as Sanji typed them in. Then he proceeded to ignore the eye roll when Sanji noticed his desktop background, which was basically a picture of his swords, and hovered close by. No way was Zoro going to miss seeing Sanji's profile picture. It was a mild curiosity before, but now he simply needed to know.

It almost made him nervous in a weird way. This would be the first time he'd see Sanji's face, get to know who he was talking to. Or wait, rather, that was Sanji's feelings mixing in with his own. Sanji seemed on edge, which he had every right to be. There could be information on his Facebook to crush him or give him hope about his own body.

It took a little bit of time, Sanji not used to the set up on Zoro's keyboard, but eventually he found his way onto Zoro's profile and went to the search bar. Both eagerly waited while the searched loaded. And then it was right there, in front of them, and Zoro could see Sanji's profile image.

His eyes widened slightly and his eyebrows raised. So this was Sanji, the guy in his body? He definitely hadn't been expecting this. There was so much he wanted to think, but was over thinking enough already and he couldn't help but just blurt out the first thing that came to mind instead.

"Eyebrows."


	8. Chapter 8

**VIII.**

"Eyebrows."

Sanji nearly slammed the laptop closed, swinging his head back to glare into Zoro's face. Dammit, how was that one of the words in his limited vocabulary? Seriously, there had to be something fishy about how selective it was, but still, Sanji didn't appreciate such a tease. Certainly not when he was already a bit self-conscious about the guy he'd been all… weird with was going to see and NOT to forget that this would be the first time he might get to check in and see what was happening back home.

Zoro's smirk didn't make him feel any better and Sanji growled under his breath. "Oi, you don't get to say shit about me, you have green pubes."

His face a little darker, he turned back to the laptop. "Now shut up and let me look at this."

Slowly, Sanji lifted up the screen again, but his eyes didn't jump straight to searching the page. Just because of his initial, blunt reaction, he couldn't help but look over and catch sight of Zoro's eyes. They were directed back again on his profile picture and he'd leaned in a bit more, as if to see it better from the way the screen was tilted. Was he really that curious?

It made Sanji feel kind of stupid. He should've changed his profile picture while he had the chance because the one he had now wasn't really a duck face, but still a classic bathroom selfie. In normal circumstances, he felt so cool there, but now he very much wanted to scroll past it. Zoro gestured to it, though, with his hand slightly curved, then gestured once more, signaling to continue on.

A ghostly hand settled on Sanji's shoulder, even though he couldn't feel it. How bored had Zoro been these last days if this is what caught Zoro's attention so much? Then again, if Sanji thought more about it, it kind of made sense. This whole time, Sanji had had enough of a look of Zoro, very personally in places he wish he hadn't. The Facebook picture was the only thing that showed him what Sanji looked like and probably confirmed that he was a real person. Which was a relief to Sanji too, being out of sorts made his mind wonder.

Reluctantly, just to get it over with, he clicked his picture and watched as it was enlarged.

"There. That's me, are you happy?"

In the process he might have sat up a little taller, allowing his confidence to come back. Screw Zoro, he looked hot, his eyebrows were a treasure and far better than being green. Zoro pulled his hand back after a moment then rested where he was sitting on the ground next to Sanji. It was a little irritating that he wasn't saying anything. His dark eyes flickered to Sanji and appeared to be idiotically sizing him up, considering this was still his stupid body.

Finally Zoro exhaled, giving a shrug like it was nothing special. "Weak cook."

Yeah, they could see if he really was weak the minute they were back in their proper places, asshole. Sanji narrowed his eyes at him, but went back to his main profile page. This wasn't about getting some kind of approval from Zoro anyway or being embarrassed of his shitty selfie. This was about finding information about what was happening on the other side. Was he really dead? If he looked at these notes, would he find R.I.P's?

Sanji's heart fell to his stomach the minute he began to read. They weren't mournful comments, at least not yet. Most were get well soon messages and promises to keep him in their thoughts. So he wasn't dead, but he wasn't really okay, either. Each scroll became a little harder to bare, seeing each of his friend's names and photos as they said such things. It made him incredibly homesick, but also mad at this situation. He was fine, he was just here as someone else in Japan. Of course he couldn't write that. He couldn't tell them that without looking like a damn loon.

Swallowing thickly, Sanji signed out of Zoro's Facebook, ignoring the huff from behind him meaning Zoro was apparently still watching what he did. Was he that concerned there'd be a secret porn stash for Sanji to find? Could he even read the messages people had sent? Probably not, considering a handful were written in French, the other half in English.

"Cook?"

"I'm going to try and sign in. See what I can find out." Which would probably end up being a risky thing to do.

If he got into his Facebook, he could find Zeff's profile, or anyone else's from work and find out what was going on. The old man was a bit impaired when it came to the internet, but he couldn't imagine him not making some sort of announcement, at least on the restaurant's page. Except, would the security on the site let him in if he was suddenly signing in on the other side of the planet? Well, it wasn't really like a credit card so he'd have to hope for the best.

His notifications were on fire, but Sanji didn't check those right away. Just in case some sort of security clicked in and kicked him off, which there was a high doubt that it would, but why not leave the suspense so he went straight for Zeff's profile. When he got there, his face paled.

There it was, the announcement he did and didn't want to see. Well, at least now he knew why he wasn't in his body. It didn't explain much else, but put a bit of urgency on his nerves. According to this message, Sanji was…

"Coma. I'm in a coma." Sanji's words were hardly anything at all.

Of all the things in the world that could've happened, why a coma? Was his life literally turning into a movie? Still, there was a part of him ever thankful that it wasn't death. He wasn't sure what he would do if he knew he had died, how he would react. Still, this felt just as disabling. Back home, his body was waiting for him, yes, but on life support.

Sanji's mind went right to how they could have even afford that. The restaurant did well on its own, sure. That was because they prepared for anything revolving around it, but throw in this kind of medical trauma and expenses to keep him alive, the old man didn't have enough for that. That's exactly what the post was about too, asking for support to keep Sanji alive. Never before did Sanji feel so low.

The more he read on, more was coming back to him. The last night he was back as himself was still pretty hazy, to say the least, but along with what he was reading it was slowly becoming more clear. He'd been in his car, a lot angrier than he needed to be, and sped off into the night. At some point this had all happened and before that… Sanji was a shit son, that's all there was to it. He just remembered an argument with the old man that put him in such a funk, all of this could've been avoided had he just listened to him instead disregarding whatever it was about. He brought this all on himself, hadn't he, body swap aside.

A coma. Damn, that just sounded like the worst. So he had brain injuries now? Would he have some damage when he got back to his body? Not that he was picky, he wanted to be back in his body no matter what, really. What if all this body swap shit wasn't actually a body swap, but what he was imagining and Zoro wasn't even real? This was just the way that his brain was realizing what kind of state it was in?

"Comah?" Zoro scowled, realizing the word didn't sound the same when he said it, but still he was able to get the meaning across.

It was a miracle Zoro knew certain words, but understanding what a coma was probably would be stretching it a bit. Sanji sighed, running his fingers through moss hair. No matter how he tried to rationalize it, he just came back to the fact this had to be all real. No way in hell would his imagination put him through this shit.

"I'll explain later." Sanji's voice still hadn't raised over a mutter.

He continued to read down what Zeff had shared. He was a little surprised he would reveal so much about what happened, they were usually very quiet with personal matters, but given the situation and the way they were trying to outreach for support, it only made sense. And to Sanji, it only made him feel lower than low, seeing what he'd idiotically done that was all on him being foolish. Head trauma which created brain swelling and, for some reason, he just wasn't waking up, it seemed. Well of course not, he couldn't, he was being held hostage by fate in some moss body.

Sanji froze again, coming up to the end of the post. Of course, there had to be pictures attached. Just from the thumbnail, Sanji wasn't sure if he should look. They were photos, not old photos, but very recent. It was from the hospital. He was so angry and upset already, something like that could only discourage him. No, he had to take some hints from the moron beside him, this should only fuel him to work harder to get back home – though it was tempting not to just wire everything he absolutely could to their donation fund.

The first picture wasn't too shocking. Sanji was expecting to see wires and tubes all over himself, just hated that it wasn't from the perspective of being in his body and back home. There was a scar on his head where they'd pulled his bangs back, but no bandage. Whatever they did to try and heal him up was probably done, it was just a useless waiting game now. Along his body he could spot a few more cuts and bruises. This was taken on one of the first days most likely as the post was a few days old.

Beside him, Zoro sat up straighter. He exhaled a low noise, describing his thoughts on seeing Sanji for the second time, but in a different situation. And for once, instead of stupid irritation or disinterest on his face, his expression showed that he realized this wasn't a walk in the park.

"Sleep?"

Zoro wasn't stupid for saying that, it was actually smart. He knew it meant the deep sleep which the Japanese definitely called something else, Sanji was sure, so then he should know how serious this became. Sanji moved off the picture.

"Vegetable." Not of the eggplant variety.

Sanji lowered his gaze. What was he supposed to do with this information now? What was the next step in his plan? Did he just continue on living here, trying to raise money while in Zoro's body and pray that when he showed up at the hospital sometime in the future, his body would be alive? Then magically transfer over? This was shit-tastic.

He'd just blow a gasket in his already damaged brain if he obsessed over it right now when there was only so much he could do. Sanji went back to his dash and clenched his teeth, looking back over at Zoro. Zoro's expression changed back to its usual one, but much softer, like he was granting him a bit of respect, which Sanji would take. The still hanging silence was awkward, however.

"Want to see my restaurant?" Sanji proposed instead. They did have the internet now that he'd been reminded about it, there was tons they could do if they wanted. There was always later when Zoro was drowning himself in 'how to English' DVDs to stalk everything.

Besides, pictures told more than words anyway, right? Zoro could, at most, understand a half of what Sanji was saying at any time and if he wanted to go ranting off about things he did, he'd most likely lose Zoro's focus. Still, it was nice to move onto something like this, a show and tell, instead of staying on that image of himself in a hospital bed.

Zoro did seem interested enough in all of it. There were a lot of different snorts and grunts to be heard in his reactions when Sanji showed him the particular shape of the building and how it fancied a fish – and Zoro announced that like a five year old who got the answer correctly, then realized he wasn't five and that was childish, though Sanji laughed anyway – and he liked to still point out Sanji's eyebrow when a picture of the Baratie had Sanji somewhere in it. It was like 'Where's Waldo' Sanji edition and in each one his hair was parted differently. Each time there was a new threat to find a way to exorcise Zoro's ghost.

He even showed him some stuff from when he lived in America. If Zoro was going to suggest he still hadn't shared a lot of stuff with him about who he was at this point, he could shove it. Sanji didn't sit here and awkwardly choose photos to show for just every strange guy, yeah? Besides, Zoro seemed to be understanding what was happening in them enough to realize what they were. Again, there were bad attempts at saying and explaining how to pronounce the names to things.

"Bara. Baraaguh." Zoro huffed, moving his hand toward the laptop in a 'next subject' type of gesture.

Sanji was grinning, just because it was fun to make Zoro flustered a bit, but reached toward the laptop as well.

"Hold on, hold, on I'll change it-"

His eyes widened, though, when Zoro's hand, which was acting instinctively as Zoro forgot he was a type of apparition, touched the mouse pad and actually  _touched_ it. He moved the mouse, but in doing so also  _clicked_  the mouse, something he definitely couldn't do before. That alone was a bit of a shock, but not what Sanji's eyes zero'd in on. No, instead he was looking at the horror done on the screen.

Zoro's mysterious ghost powers had caused him to press the like button on a photo. Which, to an average person, where was the harm in that, right? Except that Facebook loved sharing with everyone what their friends were doing, when they were doing it and what they liked. Only, this particular friend, Sanji, was supposed to be in a coma, not on Facebook. Was he trying to give Zeff a heart attack?!

Quickly, Sanji unliked the post, his heart racing. Hopefully no one got the notice or paid any mind to it. If they saw and knew someone was hacking into Sanji's account or something… this could just get a lot more complicated and annoying than it needed to be.

Sanji shifted to express his annoyance on the matter, but it all drained away at seeing Zoro stare at his hand. He couldn't even imagine what that might have felt like, to have gone more than two weeks without being able to touch or move anything, to just exist. He was happy if there was a chance Zoro could regain that part of himself and all the more power to his ghostly abilities if it meant he could press his own replay button. Even if he'd just found out some of the most troubling news of his life, the choice to try and inform Zoro about himself seemed to be good. That and the small smile he had at watching him try and move all the things was genuine.

-0-

"Marimo?"

Well this was an interesting enough situation. Sanji was donning one of those nervous 'I'm happy to be around ladies, but at the same time I'm not sure what's going on' smiles, his upper body propped up and leaning over the bar from his side. There were three ladies, around his age if he had to guess, sitting right in front of him. Two of them he knew had to be out of their seats, so that they could reach, but all of them were running their fingers through his hair or lightly tugging at it.

What the hell did marimo mean and was it supposed to sound kinky? A shiver ran down his spine, causing his back to arch a little and he hesitantly laughed, reaching his hand up to take one of theirs and carefully pull it away.

"Ladies, ladies,  _mes belles dames_!" It was a good thing Zoro's body seemed to have tolerance, he was pretty positive he'd be convulsing if three beautiful women such as these tried playing with his hair back home and squealed so happily at his French.

They were clearly amused with the reaction they got and Sanji swore that somehow, in some way, the moss hair on his head was reacting and tingling. It made him unable to resist the urge to run his own fingers through it. Damn, why was his face kind of heated? Yeah, it was interesting stuff, he supposed, being naturally green with a weird soft texture, but honestly he didn't want to think about it more than he had to. The scars of having noticed it for first time by staring down at some other guy's junk was still fairly fresh in his mind. These weren't pubes on his head, of course, but he still wasn't sure he should let the ladies have their way with it, which they often wanted to. It made Sanji feel kind of dirty.

They were chatting amongst themselves now, still sort of reaching out for a feel and using that word more. Marimo. It wasn't that Sanji couldn't handle three of the girls, he'd just never been in a situation like this and he wasn't sure he'd get the chance to pull out his dictionary to check. In the corner of his eye, where he shot a glance because he just had to see how a certain someone would be reacting to this, was a very unamused Zoro.

If looks could kill would be an understatement. Zoro was definitely flustered and ticked, sitting at his seat behind the bar, a place where Sanji had dragged an empty chair just so he could feel like a part of the action. Apparently, he had gotten bored of the empty glass in front of him - sans the tiny margarita umbrella inside it he was supposed to be attempting to move for practice - or became too distracted by this marimo nonsense not to switch his attention to Sanji. For some reason, Sanji didn't mind the kind of attention, he didn't want to be cruel, but making Zoro flustered unintentionally and so easily was becoming like a game. It was revenge, perhaps, for all the drinks Zoro had been trying to knock out of his hands today, attempting to get back the random strength he'd had days before.

"Oi." The idiot's growl was easily ignored by Sanji's brainstorming.

Sanji's glance at him wasn't only for that reason, though. Part of him, deep down inside, longed for assistance. Was this a usual thing with ladies for Zoro? They just laughed, obsessed and wanted to pet his hair? What was so interesting about it to them? Sanji might've petted it sometimes, brushed it more than he should have before messing it up again, or randomly found himself tugging at it when time was passing by slowly, but it still escaped him as to why it was so special. Well actually, putting it that way, he seemed like kind of a fan- No. He wasn't. He was a fan of his own nice blond hair waiting somewhere in a hospital back home.

Sanji moved his attention back to the ladies, openly thanking them when they got up to leave and left generous tips. He didn't seem to mind a bit at the realization he'd made Zoro's hair a whore. He emptied the jar behind the counter then got a cloth to clean it off. It was an off day, not as busy as others, but when another beautiful madame came to his bar, undoubtedly another would, he wanted it to be spotless for her. There was a curious smile on his lips while he took in the music of the place and the calm chatter going on in several of the booths. And at the cursing to his side from Zoro, who had apparently calmed down more now that his hair was safe.

During the earlier days, Zoro would've put up more of a protest, but considering the amount of women who came in just once for experience value and weren't repeat customers, most events never occurred more than the first time so there wasn't a reason to glare at Sanji. Least that's how Sanji was interpreting it and it was an outlook he liked to have too, considering the hair wasn't the most weird thing to happen so far. Shit, his scalp still felt tingly thinking about it.

Sanji sighed, resting his hip on the back of the bar and looking down at Zoro, who was furiously prodding his finger through a tiny, flower patterned umbrella. It made him raise an eyebrow, not sure what exactly to say about seeing his motivation and determination first hand. Instead of saying anything at all, he slid his hand into his jacket to the inner pocket and plucked out the translation dictionary.

"Hey shit head-" He furrowed his brows, thumbing through the book. "What's marimo mean?"

Sanji glanced away from the dictionary long enough to see Zoro's annoyance appear back on his expression. Why was he looking at Sanji like he was stupid? Yeah, of course he didn't know the answer, dumbass, that's why he asked. Marimo was a Japanese word, wasn't it? Though he didn't seem to be finding it very well in this book. How would that be written in that katakana...?

" _Marimo_ ," Zoro corrected, saying it a lot more natural than he had, Sanji could admit.

Then Zoro closed his mouth, averting his eyes. There it was again, a look very familiar. He had a talent for starting off strong in response to Sanji, but falling quiet after a few words, hitting his own language barriers. It was hard enough with common words, but if it was something Japanese specific, most other languages wouldn't have a word for so no wonder he was in a bind. The pause didn't last too long.

"Marimo." Zoro repeated, going right back to focusing on moving the umbrella.

So marimo means marimo, but also his hair. If Sanji hadn't learned that midori was green, as it was another term constantly used in reference to Zoro's hair, he would've assumed it was something like that. Maybe it was a specific shade of green?

"It's a Japanese moss ball." A very elegant, feminine voice entered the conversation.

Sanji swallowed thickly and turned his head. Without realizing it, he had a customer, sitting at the chair directly in front of both him and Zoro, watching him with a small smile. Apparently she hadn't just arrived either, as she was resting her chin in her palm.

She definitely wasn't the usual customer. For one, her English was very good and her beauty helped her stand out. This was what Unicorn syndrome was? After going so long without seeing someone else who was a visiting traveler? Though, Sanji didn't really appear to fit in that category depending on who was asked.

Curiosities aside, however, if she knew to answer the question she must have joined them at the bar the moment Sanji looked away. Did that mean she saw him talking to himself, or worse, to someone who appeared to not be there? Crap, he was hoping they would get a little further into this job, make a little more money before being chased off as crazy.

"Moss ball...?" Sanji found himself repeating her words, letting the connection hit him in the face. His scalp definitely wasn't tingling anymore.

Of course it had to be moss. So basically, the girls were just referring to the hair the same way he had been. Here he'd been hoping it would be something else, perhaps something that meant attractive, so he wouldn't feel so green. It made him sigh and the woman, still observing him, chuckled as he did.

"I wouldn't worry, they're considered national treasures here. Some would consider you blessed, it is natural, correct?"

Blessed his ass. But Sanji wouldn't allow himself to think too negatively about it, certainly not in the presence of a woman who couldn't have any idea what he was going through.

"As far as I know." Well, he wasn't lying. "Personally, I see it as a curse. That aside, may I fix you a drink, miss...?"

Already Sanji's gentlemen instincts were kicking in and he found himself leaning forward, reaching out for her hand in order to make her acquaintance. The woman's smile softened, her eyes never leaving his as she took the gesture in stride and gave him her hand. So soft to the touch.

"Robin." Her voice was velvety. "And your best wine, if you don't mind."

Sanji smiled, giving a slight nod of recognition before pecking the back of her hand. Insert Zoro aneurism here. Scratch that earlier thought about most experiences not becoming frequent, kissing soft feminine hands didn't fall into that category. Sanji just couldn't resist it and Zoro, without fail, made sure to make his dislike known.

Sanji released her gently, stepping back to get started on her drink. Maybe she didn't notice, she wasn't asking him who he was talking to just yet. If anything, maybe it looked like he was just pondering to himself out loud. That wasn't too weird of a habit, was it?

"And you are Zoro?"

Sanji nearly dropped the glass. What was he worrying about, it was stupid. He was going to get himself in an awkward situation if he kept getting lost in his thoughts like this. Poor Robin, already he wasn't giving her his full attention like he sincerely meant to.

"That's what they call me." Another not lie.

He leaned against the counter, watching as she took the glass. But he couldn't help his curiosities even still. Did she know Zoro or something? Were ladies already recommending him out to their friends? That was an exciting thought. If he got popular, that meant more payment and tips. And more payment and tips meant a faster ride back home, which was very much needed.

Bashfully, he had to force his eyes not to watch the way her hair moved and exposed her neck when she went to take a drink, or the way the alcohol stained her lips. This one's beauty was exceptional. Sanji watched her eyes finally leave his face and trail to right beside him, where stupidly an empty chair sat in front of an empty glass. Most people wouldn't pay mind to it but she... she was staring right at where Zoro sat.

"What about your friend?"

Shit. There was a shared expression of 'oh fuck' on their faces. Zoro, whether he understood it or not, it didn't matter he got that she was referring to him. Was she... Was she some kind of psychic? Waltzing in, knowing his name and about Zoro? Sanji remained composed, just in case this wasn't what his instincts quickly jumped to. Again, he really didn't want to start appearing insane to everyone just yet. He shot Zoro a quick glare, for maybe half a second to tell him to shut up and play along, before turning back to her.

Sanji cleared his throat, then laughed softly. "Ah this," he gestured to the empty chair and glass, "that would be the marimo's chair."

He rolled back his shoulders then moved to the side, sitting down on the seat. There was an unusual feeling, phasing through Zoro so easily, but he took it like a champ and took the glass in hand, lifting it as if to say 'cheers'.

"Even natural treasures get lonely, Robin-chan."

Thank God people couldn't see what this looked like to Sanji. He was sitting on a chair with literally ghostly parts coming out of him, worse yet, Zoro's face right next to his own, his eyebrow twitching mad.

"Oi!" Zoro stood up, making things more awkward, Sanji's face in the invisible part of a body he never ever wanted it to be. Worst part, he kept having to force himself to keep smiling and not snap at a ghost right then and there.

"So what brings you to Japan?" Sanji awkwardly attempted to keep the conversation going.

Zoro finally side stepped off him, storming off a few feet, his hand phasing through some glasses he tried taking a swing at before apparently going away to cool off. He was a bit more irritable these days, the more they sat in the bar with him unable to really do much. But that was a thought trail to go down a different day. Alone in the chair he'd stolen, Sanji adjusted to how he sat.

"You first, I insist."

So Robin knew he was apparently a foreigner? Good, that backstory was working for them. Things were already bad enough, Sanji needed to make this work and recover.

"If I had to pick one thing..." What would a good playboy answer to that be? The ladies right, ladies would want to hear that he came for them, right? Would it work on someone also visiting, though? One way to find out. "I'd say the yaois."

Silence. Neither Zoro nor Robin said a word and their expressions stayed very still. Had someone pressed a universal pause button? Fuck it, it was that damn word again, wasn't it? He wasn't using that damn thing ever again, he never could pronounce it right and now he was starting to wonder exactly what it meant or how serious of an ass kick he owed that asshole.

"Idiot." Zoro was becoming a narrative voice Sanji didn't care for.

Robin didn't ever address it. Instead she turned to her handbag and retrieved a pamphlet, unfolding it and placing it out on the bar for anyone to see. Both Sanji and Zoro took a look. Was this some kind of sports fan book, with player information...?

"I came in to see a former colleague of mine, he's a sword enthusiast. So imagine my surprise when I noticed something very interesting. A familiar face from here, actually." A long slender finger moved to the profile shots of those participating and to one in particular. "Roronoa Zoro, rank 3 with the ladies. Excels in strategy, but low stats in both English and foreign language."

Zoro snorted off to the side at that report, but Sanji could feel his mouth going dry. Someone had definitely done their homework. But how the hell was Zoro rank three with the ladies? Didn't they know he was-

"Yet to my surprise, this Zoro can hold a conversation with me now."

Shit, so that was a little more important to focus on than woman scores. What was he supposed to think about this? He looked back down at the book. It was just a fan book for some kind of sword groupies, but it didn't seem that recent. Surely, since its publication Zoro could've learned fluent English. This was a mess, a hot mess. How was he even supposed to respond to this? He wasn't even sure he could come up with a story on the spot to work on someone who obviously had done their research, thoroughly. But how was she able to put this all together so fast, they'd never even spoken. This was her favorite place, how long had she been eyes on the wall and watched them?

Sanji clenched his teeth, taking in her well deserved smirk as she rested her chin back in her palm.

"So, I'll ask again. Let's talk about your friend."


	9. Chapter 9

**IX.**

Sanji probably thought he was being smart or witty or something and was probably making up some kind of story, but Zoro didn't see anything but him being a moron. Obviously this chick, Robin or whatever she was saying her name was, knew a lot more than she was putting on. Granted, Sanji was in a tough spot, he had let his guard down at work since no one knew Zoro here, but now that there was someone who apparently knew him and things didn't add up, it really screwed him over.

But he was over thinking it, in Zoro's opinion. It was such an easy thing to shrug off as being personal. He was a host, but he didn't owe Robin any answers, he didn't need to explain anything, just do his job - the reason they were here for. Zoro was discovering, however, that just wasn't Sanji. Even if he didn't want to be, Sanji was a social guy, especially with the ladies. He couldn't help but feel entitled and like he had to respond.

Stupid cook, the least he could do is listen to Zoro for once for guidance. Yeah, they had an average score of getting along fifty-fifty, but there were perks to having someone invisible around. But not once when Sanji's eyes glanced in Zoro's direction were they asking for assistance. If anything, he wanted him to stay off to the side and sit still like he'd been forced to do for far too long.

Well it was a good thing Zoro naturally felt like fucking Sanji's stuff up.

"Oi, do not talk." Zoro looked over at Sanji, watching his expression slightly change. It was all he needed to know that Sanji could hear him. "Learn Japanese." It would help.

Sanji's eye strayed over to him when Zoro turned to the side, but he would quickly leave his vision as Zoro hunched down beside him in a battle ready position, about to whisper into his ear. He made a gesture in the way he nodded toward Robin.

Hopefully this would be enough to get Sanji to understand the plan he wanted to take, because they couldn't afford Sanji babbling crazy stuff. What they were going to tell her they had to decide together, somehow.

"Why." he said, not asked, pointing in the direction of Robin.

He himself wanted to know why she'd have a fan book like that, how she would know so many things about them. He thought, for sure, having been the one out of them both who couldn't do anything but watch the customers around here, that he would've seen her before if she was truly a frequent customer. She wasn't, which made it ten times more suspicious.

Zoro listened to the way Sanji's breathing slightly changed and he went into pondering how to word it. It shouldn't be too hard to just ask what Zoro said, but it probably needed to sound somewhat casual and not like he was being fed lines. That, or the shit cook was about to outright ignore him, which would be stupid.

"Robin-chan, you hurt my feelings." Zoro watched as Sanji relaxed. Feelings? Like romance? What did that have to do with this stuff? Damn love cook! "Why would you want to know about him? We could talk about you instead."

Well at least Zoro got to hear the word he wanted used. Except, he also understood what Sanji was saying was in reference to himself and it made him hiss. Damn moron, was he trying to confirm to her that he was crazy? Granted, coming off as crazy to some random chick probably wouldn't be too bad, but someone like her who had vibes and easily could tell Zoro was hanging around... definitely didn't need to know.

Robin's eyebrow peaked from across the bar, most likely because Sanji had hinted at Zoro's existence. "I'm sure people like you and I have been saying things about ourselves all day, isn't it only fair we give the underdog a chance? Are you keeping him to yourself?"

Zoro furrowed his eyebrows. Dog? He could've sworn he just heard the word dog and unfortunately that's what his mind focused on, since it was the part that confused him the most. He was not dog-like and if Sanji agreed that he was, Zoro would kick his ass.

"Well, as my friend he is my responsibility. He's the real national treasure, I have to protect him. Isn't that right, Marimo?"

Zoro froze when Sanji glanced over at him, as if a spot light had found him in a crowd. It felt stupid, since no one could see him regardless and Sanji was 'playing' like an imaginary him was really there or something, but still it ticked him off. What was Sanji doing now? What happened to killing this conversation off and shutting her suspicions down?! And who was whose responsibility, since it seemed like Zoro and his body were helping out Sanji more than anything these days.

"Respon. responsi. Tch, bastard." This wasn't a joke, this was their lives at the moment!

Sanji looked like how he probably felt, crafty and clever. Except, if Zoro's analysis was correct, he'd just gone and given away that Zoro had moved from where he'd been earlier. Most people wouldn't care about that, but Zoro was trying to get in the head of his knowledgeable opponent - who in this case was Robin. He didn't know her personally, but something told him that she would be the person to notice and the curiosity in her brow was enough to confirm it. Was it Sanji's weakness to women that made him blind to something like this? Surely not if he stared at women all day like the pervert he was.

Sanji had been watching him for a moment, but then he turned back to Robin, to spew more crap, of course. "I apologize, he gets a bit jealous."

There was a vein pulsating on Zoro's forehead. Who was jealous of whom? Sanji was delusional, Zoro had no reason to be jealous of anyone. Damn, could he glare any harder? Zoro was definitely trying to. Curse this situation forcing him out of participating in this conversation. Zoro rose to his feet, glowering down at Sanji.

"You-!  _No thank you_!" He was using one of the phrases from the English DVDs. He knew it was probably a more polite thing to say, but it was all he had in this kind of situation where his words were limited.

It didn't help that he didn't miss the poor attempt at hiding a chuckle from Sanji's side of the conversation. Sanji was doing this on purpose now, wasn't he? They had someone snooping around and all he wanted to do was play around?

"You shouldn't tease him too much, Zoro-san. It's not his fault he can't be seen, is it?"

They were entering the danger zone. Insert flashing lights here.

"Oi, Sanji." Zoro gritted his teeth.

His eyes were closed now and he was trying to remember what he should know from his DVDs that he could use to fully express what he wanted to toward Sanji. Except, all they covered were the bare basics and how to find the toilet. Ah, the bathroom. That was it. Without thinking, Zoro's eyes opened and he pointed toward Sanji, gathering a half glance.

" _Excuse me, where is the toilet_? Go pee," he growled, then crossed his arms in an 'x' shape. "Time out."

Sanji's forced disinterest in this idea made Zoro sigh irritably. So he didn't want to listen to Zoro's advice on that, or to use his idea to sneak off to the bathroom and plan something... This better be good, whatever it was he was trying to get at.

"Not necessarily. Haven't you ever wanted to reinvent yourself, Robin-chan? Put your old self behind you and become someone new?"

The Robin-chick's smile changed, fading lightly. Her eyes were back at the fanbook, where no doubt Zoro mentioned his dream. "That's an impressive lie, Zoro. I didn't realize your ambitions were so easily put aside."

Zoro's eyes were drilling into Sanji. This guy had a way of unraveling all the things he'd been working toward his whole life and, from an outsider's perspective, maybe it did seem like Sanji was pulling Zoro away from those things. But Zoro could tell, knowing his facial features better than anyone, Sanji's masked discomfort at whatever Robin was getting at. What was she saying to him to make him that uncomfortable and why did it light a fire in the pit of Zoro's stomach? Maybe because Sanji was in his body, he felt he was also the one on the chopping block?

Although Sanji was stubborn, talkative and hard to get through or plan things with, Zoro wanted to believe that Sanji's intentions and what he said when he represented them both wasn't anything that would clash with Zoro's own beliefs. So maybe, because of that, Zoro was a bit protective and easily cross when someone was making Sanji that uncomfortable, since it would probably make him feel the same. Maybe. Well, that's the explanation he was going with this time, at least.

"They aren't. Those am... My ambitions mean everything to me." Sanji's voice changed slightly, enough for probably only Zoro to notice. But he wasn't sure what they were referring to. Ambitions? This is a word he would need to ask about again later. "My temporary cultural exchange is nothing but another challenge toward them."

Robin's finger was now tracing along the rim of her glass, but soon she retreated her hand back to get to her handbag. "Perhaps, instead of a challenge or a test," she began, fetching out her wallet, "you're beneficial to your friend's success? Ah, I apologize, your success."

She was apologizing about something. What did she know, what had she said? Zoro's knuckles were pale, they were clasped so tight, though any movement with them would be nothing but useless. At least it seemed like she was getting together her things and preparing to leave.

The idiot, Sanji, regardless of being insulted or put into a tight spot, got into place and took her empty glass. Robin wore her generic smile, the one Zoro wasn't sure meant anything at all, and slid the fan book she'd brought over to Sanji, on top of it an envelope with what he assumed was her payment. Why she had to keep it in an envelope, Zoro wasn't sure, maybe it was a foreigner thing or personal preference.

"You should keep this, it will help you study." Robin's voice was calmer now as well, things felt less like an interrogation. Her eyes were back to staring straight into Sanji's, however. "Thank you for the conversation. Next time I hope I'll meet you."

Zoro's eyes moved back from her's to Sanji. Meet you? Why else would she say that in that way, while staring right into Sanji's eyes, if she didn't know anything? She'd technically already met Zoro, there was only one other person she could meet and hear about, which would be Sanji. Thus, she knew. She was already speculating there was someone else in Zoro's body. Damn, this is exactly what Zoro wanted to avoid, it would just bring more problems.

It didn't help that Sanji seemed to only now understand it and stand there like an idiot with a fan book and envelope in his hand while she walked away. Shit cook, he had his chance and although he held a conversation with her, he practically just gave information when they needed to obtain it. Before Sanji could even look to him or say anything, Zoro was on the move, following Robin out while she headed toward the club's exit.

She must've been a regular like she'd said, since some of the other hosts here waved her off, but that was for another day's curiosity. Zoro followed her out into the streets, illuminated by all the lights of this district. Her posture was calm, she wasn't the least bit bothered, it would seem, about what happened. If anything, she seemed satisfied. As if they'd played right into what she had wanted to hear. That rubbed Zoro the wrong way even more. If he could, he would've grabbed her arm and forced her to explain herself.

Sanji would kill him for even thinking of grabbing her wrist, but Zoro couldn't focus on what he 'would' be upset about, his vision was more focused on what had already upset him. It wasn't like stalking her as a ghost would do much good, there was a strong doubt Robin would contemplate things out loud for Zoro to overhear, but he couldn't do nothing.

"Oi!" he yelled, everyone in the streets and Robin herself not stopping or looking his way. "Stop!"

He was almost right beside her, not paying attention to the other people he fazed through or even the corner of a building.

"Robin!"

Zoro's chest tightened when she slowly came to a halt after he had called her name. There was a tiny hope that spread across him. Had she heard him? He moved in closer, watching as she slowly turned around and surveyed that on this street it was just the two of them, or rather to her sights just herself.

Taking a deep, composed breath, Zoro was standing right in front of her, his arms crossed as he stared into her eyes. No wonder Sanji had easily been captivated by them and said whatever she liked, it was a good thing Zoro was resistant to it in more ways than one.

"Who..." he growled out. It was important that he asked the biggest question on his mind first, versus the one he wanted to know for personal reasons about Sanji. "Are you?"

Robin's eyes widened slightly, but then settled and her smile returned. She must've known exactly who she had heard.

"Zoro. It's not nice to follow a lady home."

He remained silent.

"There's no reason to be worried. I won't tease him about you again."

Tease him about Zoro? Wait... was that... that wasn't what he came to make sure she understood. He just wanted her to back off. But why, in some way, did it feel like the same thing in these circumstances? Was Zoro being protective of their situation or just about Sanji? The guy had been through a lot, just like him, maybe even a little worse... No. He refused to believe that was the case, simply because it meant she would be right in profiling him when she'd never even spoken to him before. Zoro would not be so easily read when he wasn't able to adequately be himself.

That was more easily decided than done, however. His jaw clenched, feeling Sanji's discomfort still fresh in his mind, he regretfully shoved his anger off his shoulders. Out of the two things bothering him, he couldn't help that currently one was out bothering the other and relief that it might be settled was better than nothing.

" _Thank you_ ," he spat, turning around to walk back, not caring if Robin went back on her merry way or not.

It wasn't until he circled the host club a few times and found the door that he realized. How had she heard him? She did, didn't she, or was she just that intuitive to expect him to come if he was really there? Dammit, he hated games like this shit!

-0-

Sanji was nearly done cleaning up and putting things up for the night at the bar when Zoro finally returned, his cheeks a bit flushed, but overall still grumpy as he had been when he followed Robin out. Sanji hadn't expected him to be so responsive to the conversation with her, but he understood why he might be. It was alarming that someone knew and guessed so much about them so easily. It was similar to if they'd been messed around with, but Sanji wasn't taking it to heart, it wasn't that bad. He felt like even if he did give some information, it wasn't information she could really do too much with, just enough to humor her.

"Where the hell did you go?" he hissed, not looking up while wiping down the bar, knowing Zoro was standing close and watching.

There was a pause, which almost prompted Sanji to look and make sure everything was okay, but Zoro didn't keep him waiting too long.

"Cat woman."

Sanji had to pause moving his dish towel in circles just to huff out a laugh. This guy, were they going to meet the whole Batman cast during this adventure? As much as Sanji wouldn't mind seeing Robin in a catsuit, he wasn't sure if she should be labeled as a character known for constantly switching sides. Though, perhaps, if she was fueled by her own curiosity, it would make sense.

Sanji stepped back and looked at his work, tossing his towel toward the sink. Pursuing his lips, he just couldn't feel totally calm yet. There was a part of him that he didn't like that felt like he needed to say a certain something to Zoro. Like an apology. But at the same time, half of him really didn't want to apologize and feel bad for the way he had acted. The image of a ticked off Zoro telling him 'no thank you' was cherishable. Instead, he reached out to take hold of the fanbook Robin had left them to go through. He thumbed through it until he found the page where a Marimo scowl was staring up at him.

"I knew you liked swords, but you're in a fanbook?" He made sure the look he gave Zoro was quizzical enough. "I'm not going to have to start signing autographs, am I?"

Zoro seemed to be thinking about other things. He was delayed looking away from Sanji's face to the book in question and when he understood what he must be talking about, Zoro just shrugged and looked back to the empty cup with an umbrella in it.

Damn. The urge to apologize was for some reason becoming stronger, so much, in fact, that the words were traveling up Sanji's throat. He looked down towards the envelope and picked it up next.

"In good news though, Marimo..." He shot Zoro a look, hoping maybe a new nickname would get his attention, but it was no use. Oh well, he was still going to use it. "She left a huge tip. I don't think I would mind telling her my life story if it meant more of this. We'd be back to normal so fast…"

"No." Zoro looked up from the cup, eyeing the rest of the place where others were beginning the nightly clean up. "Do not."

It was odd, mostly because even in only two words, Zoro managed to have Sanji feeling guilty and a little dumbfounded. That was the first real time, where it actually felt legit, that Zoro disagreed with something Sanji suggested, on a different level than him just trying to provoke Sanji.

Silently, Sanji placed the envelope into the fanbook and set it down, leaving to find his jacket. It would be another awkward walk home this evening, it seemed, not that walking back to Zoro's apartment in silence every night wasn't awkward enough. It was when he was finally done and ready to head out that Zoro stood in his path once more. Still troubled, but it seemed he knew what he wanted to ask now.

"Ambition." Zoro's face was for the most part emotionless, but his glare wasn't going to budge or let Sanji's stray off. "What... is ambition?"

Ambition? It seemed like such a random word to ask, but at the same time, it wasn't. Obviously, Zoro had been listening into Sanji's conversation with Robin very closely, was probably trying to understand the most of it that he could, but it was unfair to expect him to understand all of it. When the topic went to ambitions was the point where the atmosphere went uncomfortable, for Sanji at least. He would imagine that must've translated into a tummy ache or something for Zoro.

Still, that didn't make it a strange and weird word to try and explain either. He could've just went for his translation dictionary, see if there was a word in Japanese that could let him know what it meant, but Sanji didn't feel like it. He was drained from trying to explain anything after answering questions all day - from regular customers and from Robin.

"Ambition is like…" Sanji studied Zoro's face. It was strange to find comfort in taking it in while trying to search for the right words to say. Something to do with the way it was the real, original model to this body that knew how to use its expressions best, probably. Or maybe it was something else, something stupid like speaking face to face to him in public, not while they were hidden away in the apartment. "Your dream to be the very best."

Sanji watched Zoro turn his face away, his eyebrows furrowing. He was expecting him to say something now that he realized what Sanji was saying to Robin and vice versa, but instead he glared when Zoro chuckled and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Pokemon?"

Poke- what. "Tch, asshole, that's in the English theme song, how do you even- forget it. You watch too many trivia shows during the day."

Sanji would just have to hope he understood what he had said and that the random joke was to let him know he understood things now. They traveled back to the apartment in silence as per usual, stopping only to grab some groceries before heading in.

As mysteriously tasty and convenient the corner store rice balls were, Sanji was understandably missing being in the kitchen and actually cooking food. For the last week he'd been trying to do it instead of buying food, but Zoro's kitchen proved to be a challenge in itself. The guy hardly had any of the appropriate and required cookware to actually use it.

But it wasn't like Sanji wasn't ready to face his own hurdles for his passion. Thanks to finally having access to the computer, he was able to find new recipes, focusing on the Japanese variety. He figured, if he was here for awhile, why shouldn't he use it as a time to experience what it could offer him in his own success.

Zoro, unable to physically eat it himself never seemed that interested and Sanji couldn't blame him. Hell, he wasn't even sure he could smell right now, so food was probably something bitter sweet, especially if it looked as good as Sanji's. Not that he should get ahead of himself and feel too confident. The wound of breaking a prep table with a single cut using Zoro's hand carelessly, making his skills look like a joke, was still very fresh in his mind. He would have to be careful.

Although he wasn't usually interested, Sanji still sometimes got a random annoying urge to try and make it interesting, trying to gauge Zoro's attention - sometimes it worked and he would watch, but other times he just kept staring at his DVDs. By now, shouldn't he have mastered those?

After crafting a delicious meal for himself - though now that he was getting a good look at it, it might be better suitable to his old portion sizes compared to the ones Zoro's body should maintain - Sanji moved to the table in their room and pulled up the laptop onto it with him. It was becoming a habit to check his Facebook while he ate dinner and see what was going on back home.

Sometimes there were status updates, though they really just confirmed nothing had changed, other times there were photos which made Sanji feel the most out of place. His poor face back home, his facial hair a hot mess, there would be a lot of work to do there when he finally returned to it. But today, after the thing with Robin he was still feeling a little guilty about, Sanji decided to end his Facebook stalking early and do something else.

Another thing he was trying to understand was Google translate. It was a gamble, since the damn thing loved to fuck up what he wanted to tell Zoro and give him a lot of strange looks, but it did give hope to helping them. Sometimes, things were just too hard or exhausting to attempt explaining through their language barrier. He checked the word Yaoi, only to find Yaoi means yaoi, before retreating further online. Bad idea.

"Oi, Marimo," he called out, using that nickname again. See, he was going to keep using it regardless.

And this time, like a pleasant surprise, its intended effect worked and Zoro grunted at where he was laying across the floor and looked over at Sanji. He wasn't amused, but at least he understood his new name.

"Seriously? This is Yaoi?" Sanji growled between his teeth, turning over the Google image result, his face growing ever warmer.

Sanji would like to say he'd never been so embarrassed in his life, but unfortunately this didn't take the cake… until he remembered all the times he'd used the term. Dammit, he could never trust this asshole, ever again. It didn't mean beautiful ladies at all. Just looking at the Google images told him enough it was something to do with gay porn, which go figure, it was right up Zoro's alley. Sanji had forgotten for awhile that he even liked that stuff - or maybe it wasn't that he forgot so much as tried hard not to constantly think about it for reasons unknown.

There was never a bigger grin on Zoro's face than the one he was wearing now. It was safe to say he was a lot happier, the asshole. Of course he'd been enjoying it this whole time though, hadn't he? Teaching him that and just… What was worse is Zoro was acting stupidly innocent.

Sanji turned the laptop back around, his ears even flushed. "What is this..." he just kept repeating to himself. "Why are their hands so huge? is it for- What the fuck, man."

Zoro sat up and crawled over on his knees, smirking as he moved to look at the screen. "Why you looking?"

Of course the computer was frozen for a moment, that exact moment, of all the moments in the world. Sanji was going to break the power button here in a minute.

"I'm not looking at it, this is just what came up when I googled-" Sanji bit his tongue, snarling and putting his hand over the screen. "Who the hell looks at this kind of stuff?"

Zoro didn't seem too bothered, of course, why would he be - he was the one who would be looking this kind of stuff up. Instead he gestured to a picture that was peeking through Sanji's fingers.

"Look, a shit cook."

Of course, Sanji had to look, because if his picture somehow did magically come up in that search result, he was going to be pissed. But really, he should've trusted his judgement and known better than thinking his picture would be there. Instead if was just some red faced guy, in the middle of something very… intimate, who had blond hair and facial hair similar to his back home. That alone made him want to go clean shaven when he returned.

"Gah!" Sanji wanted to shield his eyes, but instead he slammed the laptop closed, swallowing thickly, not only for his sanity and his eyes that would need to be bleached. Something about seeing that kind of stuff in Zoro's body was very uncomfortable in a certain sense… if you knew what he meant. It was bad enough, battling Zoro's chronic morning wood issues than to have an unwanted guest pop up here accidentally.

"I can't believe I had to google that," Sanji breathed, his face in his hands before he moved them up to yank at his hair. "I'm never going online again."

Zoro's smirk calmed and he sat down more comfortably, looking over to the TV where his programs were still playing. Sanji glared at him. Bastard, scaring him like that and now going back to watching his own stuff. What was Sanji supposed to do now… he should've just kept checking Facebook.

"Oi cook." Zoro moved in the direction of his TV. "Movie?"

A movie? Well… although Sanji hated Zoro right now and was trying to calm down in a certain sense, a movie wouldn't be too bad. He doubted Zoro had anything he'd want to see or could understand, but he could look at it as practice, he supposed. Sanji got up, since he'd be the one switching the DVDs, and went to the television.

"What movie?" he asked, looking over their lacking selection.

Zoro followed him up, glancing at where Sanji was glancing, until pointing at something else. He didn't even say anything, he was just wearing that shit grin,  _again_.

"Oh fuck you." It was the nearly forgotten porn disk. This would be a long night. But not in that way. Fuck it.


	10. Chapter 10

**X.**

"Either put your head in, or stay out, bastard."

Sanji stared down at Zoro's ass disapprovingly. It really was too early for this kind of shit, even if they were only an hour or so away from lunch. For some reason, while Sanji was cleaning up the kitchen to give it another go on a new recipe, the idiot swordsman peeked his head outside of their door, phasing through it half and half to watch something. What that was exactly, Sanji wasn't sure, and if it was a new hot neighbor by Zoro's standards, he really honestly didn't want to know.

He was leaning on the counter when Zoro finally pulled himself out of the door and turned back to look at him.

"Guy," he muttered, jerking his thumb back toward the door, a suspicious expression on his eyes. After a few days ago during the Robin incident, he'd been more wary of strangers. "Stupid guy."

So. Apparently there was a guy out there, huh? Figures. Leave it to Zoro to do what Sanji didn't want. But a stupid guy? Well that was more specific than assuming Zoro's new neighbor fantasy man.

"What does he look like? What's he want?"

Maybe it was someone snooping around for information about the other apartment next door? It wouldn't be the first time since they put up what Sanji assumed to be a damn rent sign that someone was looking around at it.

Zoro shrugged, absentmindedly rubbing at his nose. Alright, so he didn't know. Great. Well, if it wasn't someone Zoro knew personally, it seemed safe enough that Sanji could answer the door with his lack of Japanese and not have to act like him. But, if there really was someone out there, why didn't they just knock?

Sanji just sighed, moving to the door and turning the knob. Instinctively, meeting the morning sun while still feeling so tired as he often did in Zoro's body when it wasn't napping enough, he squinted and looked forward. Then, when his eyes adjusted, they widened and his throat seemed to swell.

There actually was a guy outside, not that he thought Zoro was lying, he wouldn't leave him with his ass sticking through a door if there weren't really something to watch. He was pacing back and forth, a familiar nervous expression on his face as he seemed torn between knocking or not, despite if Sanji had just opened the door. The stranger's reaction was delayed, but the moment he caught Sanji in the corner of his eye, he jumped back a good foot, against a beam in the apartment complex's structure.

"Y-you, I-I..." the stranger squeaked, his eyes jumping around because this wasn't going according to plan that he had scripted, apparently. But that didn't matter too much.

"Usopp?" Sanji blurted out.

It was a familiar face. God, how long had it been since he'd seen a friendly face that could remind him of home. Not his home in France, as Usopp was a friend from the States, but still there was something very homey about seeing him here of all places during this mess. Except, Sanji probably should've thought before he spoke.

Because even if he recognized Usopp, knew that nose and terrified look anywhere, didn't mean Usopp would recognize him now in his current state. In fact, the reason he seemed so intimidated in a way Sanji recognized best was probably because of Sanji's new ugly mug. Sanji was really polishing a natural gift to put himself into troubling situations. Now he just looked like an angry, glaring, green Japanese man who knew Usopp for some unknown reason. Great. But why was he really here?

Usopp visibly swallowed, his feet shaking. "Y-you know my name? Y-you speak English?!" The pitch of his voice rose and fell the more Sanji opened the door.

Damn, it must've been such a pain for Zoro having such guns on his arms, he probably experienced this a lot, didn't he? Not. Sanji tried not to roll his eyes, but it happened regardless. He could try to act like Zoro, but when it came down to it, he was too happy and a bit relieved at finally having a friend here. So instead of just looking like a creep, he tried backtracking.

"No... I don't know your name. What do you want?" Sanji averted his eyes, as if Usopp seeing them would lead to him just knowing this body wasn't his and it was really Sanji inside.

"But you just said it. This proves it!" Usopp, gaining a bit of bravery, jabbed his finger in Sanji's face. "You're the one hacking Sanji's profile aren't you, Zoro Roronoa-"

Sanji hissed. Okay, being on this side of the conversation wasn't very amusing, especially with a finger in his face and Usopp possibly disturbing the neighbors. So what would it hurt if Usopp knew the truth? Sanji was stuck in a tiny apartment with the ghost owner of this body, he needed a visit from his real life.

Without thinking, Sanji reached out, grabbing a fist full of Usopp's shirt and ignoring the way he yelped when he did. Then, dragging him through the door, he brought him to the main room and tossed him on the wrinkly futon.

"Oi? Cook!" Zoro bitched, having been on the place right next to this guy he didn't yet know. "Who this? Shoes!"

Ah, Zoro and his culture of shoes staying at the door to keep things inside clean - why it mattered when Zoro kept this place like a junkyard before and Sanji was the one cleaning it now on occasion, he wouldn't know. Sanji ignored him, making sure the door was shut before returning back to them. He shook his head lightly at Usopp, who was using his arms to shield his face, just in case it would seem.

"Calm down, Usopp, I'm not going to kill you," he tried to explain.

Usopp peeked through his arms at him. "So this is just Japanese hospitality? You used my name again! What do you want from me? M-money? I have lots of money, I can pay you back home you know, my great uncle won a lottery once-" His friend's babbles rambled on.

"Money?" Zoro's attention peaked and he looked over at Usopp. "Lot of money?"

Were the Japanese known for hospitality? Sanji never knew, but did that exclude Zoro? It didn't matter, he had a certain lying guy on his couch he knew he needed to shut up. First though, he glared at Zoro. They weren't that desperate to steal his money, he didn't need to look so optimistic.

"No, he doesn't have money." Sanji ran his fingers through his hair then looked toward Usopp, watching as he shut up just from one stare. Damn, Zoro's resting bitch face was intimidating enough, huh? That or maybe it didn't help on the wall behind Sanji were Zoro's swords, since apparently even those could be aired out. "You aren't rich and you were the one who came here, what do you want?"

Usopp blinked a few times, looking around as if to find the source of who Sanji intended his first words to, but then slowly he sat up. "You're Zoro Roronoa, right? You've been hacking into my friend Sanji's Facebook, why? Can't you leave his family alone, they're going through enough right now!"

Usopp traveled around the whole world just because some stranger, aka Sanji, hacked into his account? Sanji was slightly touched, but only slightly, because he was an idiot, just going to some stranger's house. It wasn't too surprising, however, Usopp had a knack for all things cyber and that had to do with hacking. It wasn't very ethical, but it was a talent he liked pursuing.

Still, Sanji didn't appreciate the slight guilt at being called a hacker of his own Facebook. "Tch, idiot…" How was he going to go about this? Oh here was an idea, he could just blurt it out like he was doing everything these days. "I'm Sanji. No one's hacking my Facebook."

Silence. Well fuck. Usopp squinted his eyes at him, then raised an eyebrow. "Are you still learning English?"

It was enough of a little shit comment, Usopp edition, to kick Sanji back into old habits which were... well kicking. He raised his foot, going for the guy, but Usopp wasn't too rusty in rolling away, wide eyed. It might have helped that Zoro's body wasn't really great in the art of kicking ass, not on Sanji's level, at least.

"You're crazy!" What, Zoro was on Usopp's side now a days? Or was he worried about his own ass?

"I know my English! And I am Sanji!"

Usopp wasn't buying it, which honestly, he shouldn't so easily anyway. Stranger danger and all. "Oooh, right, I forgot. Sanji, you should've reminded me you were going to Japan to get plastic surgery! I thought your favorite color was blue-"

He was asking to die. Indirectly, but all the same, asking for Sanji to kill him. "Shut up, are you going to let me explain or would you like me to kick your ass?"

Usopp fiddled his fingers a bit, then came to the decision, valuing his life. "Alright, I'm listening... But you should know I'm a really busy man, the son of a prince actually. If I stay here too long, people are going to start looking. Does Japan charge for kidnapping?"

Zoro narrowed his eyes, then let out a bark of laughter. "Prince? Tch. Pinocchio."

"Look. I get that I don't look like myself. But I'm Sanji. The morning after the crash I woke up like this in this stupid guy's... body."

Usopp was still staring up at him suspiciously, letting out a low hum as he did. If Sanji knew Usopp, which he kind of did seeing as they went to both middle school and high school together, he was probably doubting Sanji's story and writing it off as an amateur's tale. Sanji flared his nostrils. Time to use the blackmail he'd saved up all these years to his advantage.

"Who was it who had to cover for your ass when a pair of Nami's panties went missing? I still want to kill you over that, you give those back to her, you bastard! They were her favorite with the tangerines! Or hacked into the school's security system for a  _pre_ -test."

"Panties? Pervert cook." Who had taught Zoro that word? Dammit.

There was a nervous sweat on Usopp's forehead. "Maybe Sanji had that information hidden away on his Facebook."

"Marimo, shut it." Sanji sighed, turning back to Usopp. "Where would he put it on there? Don't be in denial. I'm Sanji. And I'll prove it to you. Sit there, shut up and stay still, I'll be right back."

Usopp looked over anxiously at the empty place next to the futon Sanji kept referring to, which actually had Zoro. "Wait. Who do you keep talking to?"

Well it was a bit rude, Sanji supposed, that he hadn't introduced the two of them yet. It was Zoro's house, after all, and he'd dragged his friend inside. "The real Roronoa Zoro. Usopp meet Zoro, Zoro meet Usopp. Alright I'll be back."

"Wait!" Usopp repeated, confused just as much as he'd been before. "You mean he's like a... a ghost?"

Sanji didn't respond, though, only mildly enjoying the way Usopp moved as far away from Zoro as he could, but still remained on the futon. Instead, he went to work. If Usopp was just going to flat out deny everything Sanji said he knew about him because of the Facebook thing, he would have to show him something not just anyone could replicate. Which would be his cooking. Luckily, since this was Usopp, it shouldn't take too much to convince him. It was also so close to lunchtime, even Sanji would admit he was becoming cranky. Zoro's body was useful in some aspects, but when there was something it wanted, Sanji couldn't help but comply.

He whipped something up quick before returning back to the living room, where Usopp seemed to collect more sweat on his face. Why he thought a Zoro ghost would be intimidating next to him, Sanji wasn't sure, but he wasn't going to say anything.

They moved to the small table, where Usopp only nervously eyed what Sanji had prepared. "Is this… poisoned?"

He earned a death glare from Sanji. "Do you think I would ever poison something as important as food?"

Sanji's friend laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck and went to eat. They stayed that way, surrounded by quiet, for a little longer.

"So you're saying that you're Sanji and you just woke up one day like that… in the middle of Japan, in some stranger's body?" Well, when he put it that way, maybe it did sound stupid, but Sanji kind of felt the same way when fate was fucking him over. At least he seemed to be hearing him out, somewhat. "Then shouldn't the Zoro guy be in your body?"

*" _Vous pouvez même pas imaginer._ " Sanji muttered to himself. Usopp really couldn't imagine even with his imagination, what he'd been through. What he was just now understanding was a mild version of it all. "He probably got lost. He does that. Instead he kind of just... follows me around."

Somewhere, Sanji didn't feel like looking, came a Zoro huff.

Usopp kept stealing glances around the room, before an ah-ha expression smacked itself onto his face. "Could it be you really are Zoro, but you're channeling Sanji's spirit like some kind of psychic? Sanji, are you possessing him? Did you see a light?"

Sanji stared at him a long, stupid moment. Then he reached across the table, hitting his friend upside the head. "I'm not possessing anyone, I'm trapped. There's a difference..." He took a few bites before continuing. "No, I didn't see a light, I saw something even worse and it was green."

For a moment it looked like Usopp was going to wonder and actually guess what that even worse thing was, but then his sense of logic seemed to stop him before he was too mentally scarred.

"But if you really are Sanji, why didn't you call or say anything? Why haven't you flown back home?" Usopp's tone was changing into something rare, almost scolding and angry. "The real Sanji wouldn't let his friends and family worry over him like this, he'd be trying to fix this problem."

Sanji froze at that, letting Usopp's words sink in. Yeah, he knew what he would do in a perfect world. But this situation was far from perfect, he couldn't exactly just get up and go, not when he was hijacking Zoro's body and life for the time being. Who even knew if Zoro had a freaking passport, for fuck's sake.

"Do you know that Zeff has been by your bedside every day since your accident? Nami cries all the time! She's donating her savings and you know how important those are to her and you're telling me the real Sanji is just here in Japan-"

Sanji lowered his chin. He was... aware of these things, he was just foolishly trying not to focus on them so he wouldn't feel more despicable about his situation than he needed to be. At first he'd thought fate was finally throwing him a bone, seeing an old familiar face, but now it was almost like it'd sent Usopp just for it's own shits and giggles.

He'd been listening to what Usopp had to say, trying not to get lost in his own guilt while he listened. Somehow he'd timed looking up just perfectly when Usopp stopped talking abruptly and the pillow from the futon smacked him right in the face… from the other side of the room.

Well someone's moving stuff practice was paying off, wasn't it? It actually shocked and freaked Sanji out a little, his head moving so that he could look over at Zoro. Like he had figured he was annoyed, probably getting to feel Sanji's despair yet again - which Sanji figured had to get irritating after a while - and screamed weak or something to him which he disliked even more in typical Zoro style.

"Oi, don't just hit people," Sanji hissed, though he'd been the one who tried to kick Usopp a bit earlier.

Usopp was in shock, staring in the same direction. It still seemed like he couldn't see Zoro, which was good enough, he'd probably have a heart attack with two visible ugly mugs staring him down.

"There really is a ghost. So then..." Only now he was going to believe it? Typical. "Sanji, I'm sorry, I-"

Sanji looked down at the table, pressing his lips together as he tried searching for the best way to word this when he cut Usopp off. "You don't think I've wanted to call home? Shit, I can barely convince you I'm myself, let alone the old man. I wanted to go back the day I woke up, but it's not that simple."

Sanji turned to look at Zoro, who was watching him closely. Such an eavesdropper. "Right now I'm working to afford a ticket back to France. I can't buy one right now even if I wanted to. Well, I could but," he looked away before continuing, "I'm not the only one inconvenienced here. I can't just stop paying Zoro's bills or sell his stuff and stop his life while I'm already hogging his stupid body."

Usopp was the one looking down now. "I'm sorry, Sanji. I didn't mean to get mad like that. I'm actually really relieved you're alright... We've all just been really worried and tense… I should've know you were already trying to get there." He peeked up back at Sanji. "Do you really think if you go there, you'll change back? What if you're stuck like this? Did the two of you eat any weird chinese food lately?"

Trying to be more optimistic, Sanji did his best not to dwell on the 'what if he was stuck like this for good' question. It would all around suck and he'd probably go mad with Zoro trailing behind him.

"It'll all work out, I'll find a way. Keeping my body alive is what's most important. We'll catch up to it soon, hopefully. The job we have now is going well, it shouldn't take too long."

"We?" Usopp's head tilted to the side.

It caught Sanji a little off guard, he had hardly noticed he was saying everything in reference to himself and Zoro so naturally already. His face a little warm, he scratched the back of his neck. "Ah, well, you know. Zoro goes where I go so..."

Sanji wasn't sure if Usopp was going to drop it right away, since he looked like he wanted to say something more, but decidedly didn't. Instead he finished off his food, making a comment about it being similar to how he remembered it, then rolled back onto Sanji's futon with his hand on his stomach. It was like they were back in high school again, in a sense, where Usopp just flopped onto anything in Sanji's room he wanted, most often the bed.

He watched Sanji from where he laid and occasionally shot glances in the areas he figured Zoro to be, before sighing and staring up at the ceiling.

"Ahh. This feels like one of those twilight zone episodes," he remarked to himself, then made an honest effort to prop himself up a bit. "You know Sanji, my next flight isn't for a few days."

Sanji, who was already washing things in the sink, shot him a glance. A few days? This moron, how long was he planning to stay here and find his Facebook 'hacker'? Maybe was that his excuse for his own vacation. Or, could it be, he was anticipating needing a hospital stay after confronting Zoro and planned the extra few days? Still, knowing his friend, Sanji knew trying to get at something.

"Spit it out, Usopp."

Usopp nodded, biting on his lip lightly then falling straight back onto the bed, completely limp. "I know what I said, but you shouldn't overwork yourself. It's not every day you get to be in Japan with your best friend around…"

"Usopp." Seriously, stop tip toeing around it.

Usopp let out a huff, then physically rolled over onto his stomach. "I'm saying you should take a weekend off and enjoy it with your best pal, the magnificent Usopp, who you are so generous to let stay with you until his flight. I mean… They've pretty much got everything covered back home for now and when you wake up back to normal, you aren't going to want to come back here."

What was that? Did Sanji hear that correctly? Was that the halo of a good best friend shattering into a million tiny pieces? This little shit who had just guilted him about not doing something? Sanji needed this job and the money it brought in, skipping two days now just meant two days to make up for later. Though, he did have his usual day off that he could get rescheduled somehow and only have to make up half of what he thought.

Sanji put down what he was doing and walked back toward Usopp. Then he looked over at Zoro, who was sprawled on his back on the floor, staring up with his arms behind his head. He lifted his chin, just to peer at him and give him some sort of nod. Idiot, he hardly understood what they were saying and now he was just agreeing with what Usopp was saying? Was Sanji the only one who wanted to focus on the goal ahead of them?

Then again, he did feel exhausted since they'd gotten a job at the host bar. And he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious about more of what Japan had to offer. If they had such a lovely part of town with beautiful and seductive women on signs and billboards and cafes all around, what other wonderful things could they have around? Just two days. It would be like playing with fire, in some sense, but mentally he was craving it. A 48 hour period when he wouldn't have to constantly think about getting back home to his body before he died. Sure, he'd still be stuck in the Neanderthal's body, but it was better than nothing.

Sanji shifted back towards Usopp. Then he sighed, lifting his arm and dropping it back to his side. "Okay, fine. You can stay. I'll call in."

Zoro shot up at that. "Oi!" Oh now he understood what was going on? Too late, damage had been done.

"Yes!" Usopp jumped up. "I'll go get my stuff."

-0-

Maybe it was because Sanji was in this lug of a body, or because he was sort of tired and ready for an afternoon nap, but Usopp seemed to be running on pure energy and going anywhere and everywhere. He'd lugged in his big suitcase - which ended up being half empty as he wanted to bring back tons of souvenirs - which took up a bit of space in the corner. He also had his own sleeping bag which he laid out on the floor. Really, was he not even intending to get a hotel after confronting Zoro? He was a confusing mess, that was for sure.

Zoro kept shooting him glares and growls, even though Usopp couldn't see or hear him. The excited traveler wanted to touch and see everything that went into an 'authentic' Japanese home. Poor guy, Sanji almost - almost - felt sorry for him, but he was being a bit more selfish. When Usopp hopped down onto his sleeping bag, looking through some sort of tourist guide to Japan, Sanji approached the grump.

He held up two fingers. "It's just two days, shit face. He won't touch the swords or I'll kill him myself. You don't even have to stay if you don't want to."

Zoro narrowed his eyes at Sanji and Sanji felt him analyzing before he looked away, without giving a real answer.

"Yeah, Zoro," Usopp chimed in to no one in particular. It was a bit comical how he was trying to talk to someone who was annoyed by his presence and wouldn't be able to respond, but maybe would be able to toss another pillow or two. "Or you can come too."

If they were just going to touristic spots, Sanji felt he might be able to handle it. He did, after all, have his English to Japanese dictionary, but having a native would've been nice too. But only for the fact that he was a native. No other reason. None at fucking all.

Zoro shrugged, turning to move past Sanji and towards the door. It would appear he was choosing to leave, even if it was just for the time being. Sanji wouldn't lie, he was slightly disappointed, but at the same time he was being selfish this weekend and not thinking about Zoro trapped outside his body having to go along with any and all things. If only circumstances had been different, then he could have kicked his ass and dragged him along. Enforce happy feels.

Sanji ran his fingers through his hair, pulling his eyes away from the door Zoro had phazed through and over to Usopp. "Asshole left."

That didn't seem to bother Usopp at all. In fact, it made him even more excited, if possible. The guy pulled himself up from his sleeping bag and headed over to the closet.

"Then we should raid his closet."

Sanji stared at him. What. "What? Why do you want to go through his closet?"

Why hadn't he noticed Usopp had these sort of hobbies before? And why did it kind of make Sanji feel weird he wanted to go snooping around in Zoro's closet, a place Sanji had been one or two times, only long enough to grab things that seemed suitable, but no more than that. Zoro seemed like the type of guy to go through a cycle of only a few outfits anyway, so what was the need if it kept the laundry low?

Usopp shook his head, giving a quizzical look as his hand slowly went to the closet's sliding door. "Sanji, don't tell me you don't want to know what he might have hidden in there. It's the one perfect hiding spot in this place."

Sanji didn't even want to begin entertaining the thought of what might be hidden in there.

"He might have some really good porn magazines-" No. Sanji had found Zoro's porn and it was not at all what Usopp was picturing. But then again, why was Sanji stopping him, he should endure the same awkwardness at finding it, should there be some. His expression would no doubt be priceless and maybe then he'd really pitty Sanji's situation.

Instead Sanji just approached, gesturing for him to go on. Sending Zoro out of his own place and raiding his closet in the same thirty minutes, honestly he was on a roll.

Usopp slid the door open and peeked inside. He moved the first few things, then the first half of his body vanished. Then came a string of 'oh's' and 'ah's'. He slid back out and stood up straighter, a new fabric item in his hand. Sanji just watched, mildly interested.

"Oooh. Here we have traditional Japanese clothing," Usopp started in his best narrator voice, draping the clothing over his arm very delicately and turning to present it to Sanji. "Wear it."

When exactly had this become a slumber party? Sanji looked the thing down. "I'm not wearing that." A very quick decision. "It's not mine and we don't know what it's for. And it looks like a shitty dress."

"Tsk, tsk. Sanji, don't you watch any anime? This is what the guys wear to festivals and the girls wear really cute yukatas." Usopp smirked, throwing the girl tidbit in purposely to coax Sanji into doing his bidding. He paused, however, his gaze wandering off to nothing in particular. "I should get Nami a yukata while I'm here."

Sanji wasn't falling for it, though. Totally not falling for it by imagining cute girls. Nope. He couldn't let himself get distracted and fall into Usopp's tricks.

"You watch that anime shit too?" Sanji shook his head. "That doesn't mean I still have to wear it."

Usopp frowned, nodding his head and scratching at his chin. "I see, I see. Then," he paused for some sort of stupid dramatic effect, "you really don't want to see what he looks like in it?"

What-who-dammit. Even Sanji's thoughts were jumbled at that. What in the world had he done to suggest to Usopp he would want to see something stupid and dumb like Zoro's body wearing the Japanese robe thing. It was bad enough he had to wear his belly warmer haramarker thing once. It wasn't really called that, he just couldn't remember. He'd ask Zoro later, when he didn't have images in his head and a dying curiosity now that Usopp suggested it. Dammit, this was embarrassing, why did he care?

"Don't think I haven't noticed,  _Sanji-kun_ ," he purposely said his name that way, running his hand down the fabric in a creepy version of being seductive. Why was he friends with Usopp again? "It probably shows off all his scars-"

"Fine. I'll wear it." Sanji snatched it from Usopp, his heart slightly racing, but he made sure to sound fairly less than enthusiastic. "But start that shit again and I will kick your ass."

His friend grinned, handing him the belt thing that seemed to go with it, then flashed him a thumbs up. "Alright, while you do that I'll be on the can. Should we take pictures for Nami?"

Sanji's face might have flushed. "You aren't telling Nami anything about this, alright!" he hissed under his breath, peeling off his shirt and pulling the first sleeve part up his arm.

Damn Usopp, of all the people he didn't think he'd be able to convince him of such stupid things so easily. And what was that earlier tease about? Don't think that he hadn't noticed? Noticed what? That Zoro was gay and reacted to his own body or something? He glared as Usopp moved and went toward the restroom, then focused back on getting this thing on.

It seemed kind of complicated. He got the thing on around him, it felt just like some kind of robe like he figured it would, then he tied the string around. But this sash thing, it was so long what was he supposed to do with this? Then the fact this stupid muscle brain's body was so broad, was this much of his collar bone supposed to be showing? Why had he agreed to this? Was Usopp still going to take a picture? Not that he wanted one, memories or not.

Still, did Zoro actually wear this kind of thing? It had to be for specific events or something. Sanji had seen pictures of girls wearing similar things in the area of town where he worked, but he just didn't imagine Zoro owning one. He started to wrap the sash around his waist, but paused, an unusual feeling of being watched crawling up his back. Slowly, he lifted his eyes from where he was wrapping to right in front of him.

Figures the bastard would come back now of all times. He had an uncanny way of coming back right in the middle of the embarrassing stuff Sanji did. What happened to him wandering off?

"Oi, this is…" Sanji didn't know how to even explain.

Before he even could, Zoro charged towards him anyway. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * You can not even imagine.


	11. Chapter 11

**XI.**

Even though Zoro would have just phased through him, Sanji found himself backing up right into the shower room, watching as Zoro followed him in. With his shitty ghost powers he looked back behind him and reached for the door, pulling it closed. What a selective shitty power that kept creeping up like this, but wasn't strong enough to hit replay on the DVD player.

What the hell was going on here? Did he really have to react this way? Sanji could easily just take it off if he started throwing a fit, but to corner him back in here, what was his idea exactly? Was he going to try and rip it off him? Was he that much of a dumbass?

"Bastard, what are you doing? What's the matter with you?" Sanji huffed, moving to pull at the fabric's collar. "I'll take the damn thing off-"

"Stop." Zoro eyes, which had been fixated on the clothing, darted up at Sanji's face. He moved a hand, but it only hovered over and went through Sanji's. Such a selective power.

He didn't sound mad, at least. Still, what the fuck was that about, rushing at him the way he did? Or being so close to him now. If he was upset about him putting on his traditional robe, he need only be vocal about it.

Except that might not have been the case. After Sanji stilled, glaring down at what he wanted to do, Zoro went back to looking over and gesturing to things. First, he pointed to where Sanji's hand was and motioned to fold it over the opposite way. So wait, he wasn't going to say anything in acknowledgement to this, but he was going to tell him how to put it on.

This was very silent and very awkward help. Still, Sanji kept his trap closed and followed the bastard's directions the best he could, only cursing when he tried tying something the same way Zoro moving his fingers looked to indicate, but apparently couldn't get more wrong. Then of course, when he motioned him to turn around Sanji did.

If Zoro was going to help, they should've done it in the main room, at least then Sanji wouldn't have been able to catch glances in mirror in the bath basket, showing all of this from a different angle. He couldn't see his current face, which was just a copy of Zoro's of course, just the view of a clothed shoulder, that could belong even to his real frame. Then of course, being the one person who could see Zoro, he spotted his reflection as he approached him from behind.

Sanji swallowed thickly and tensed up. Why was he getting nervous, it was just a reflection. But at the same time, it was different. It was like he was seeing things differently through the mirror when Zoro was this close to him, his brows furrowed as he huffed and tried to figure things out. His stupid face was angled in a way that every time he moved, his sharp jaw bone peaked over and under Sanji's shoulder. If he wasn't a ghost, being this close, Sanji would have surely felt his breathing, but instead, all he had was a slight tug here and there where Zoro was making progress on the sash.

Sanji still couldn't pull his eyes away. The lights in here must have just been dim and messing with him. The shower hadn't been on in a long while so why was it still stuffy? Sanji knew this was nothing out of the ordinary for their level of weird, that the mirror was just playing tricks on him, but his heart didn't seem to get the memo. And of course here came the god damn goosebumps.

Zoro's brows were so furrowed, but his face so relaxed even in his frustrations. This had to be his fault. A tiny bit of this had to come from Sanji's slight joy at Zoro's silent company and relief that he hadn't vanished off for the weekend, but everything else Sanji always piled onto Zoro's self cest. He obviously thought a lot about himself, it was only natural it was programmed so deeply into his body that Sanji would feel it. That didn't explain at all, however, why Sanji pictured, or rather wanted to picture, himself in that mirror. Imagined the feeling of Zoro's breath on the nape of his neck, or hand at his back.

Suddenly, Zoro's eyes flickered up, shattering the illusion in the mirror and brought reality crashing back down. Sanji watched as a certain realization seemed to dawn on Zoro's face, as did it seem to hit himself. He was thinking away so freely, envisioning that so freely, had Zoro seen? His eyes looked like they could've peered right at it themselves and read his thoughts.

"Sanji-"

Fuck no, Sanji was not about to have him misunderstanding things. He was not going to have those weird feelings today and be confused. Quickly, he stepped away from Zoro, headed right toward the door, not even giving the traditional wear a second thought. Forcefully he crushed any earlier curiosities of it or anything revolving around imagining anything Zoro related. Abort mission.

"Thanks. You aren't as useless as you look," he gritted out, hurriedly grabbing the handle and stepping out into the main room, welcoming the wave of cooler air on his face that undoubtedly had flushed.

Sanji hardly made it far before stopping, flinching his arms up in response to a camera flash. Fuck, he'd almost completely forgotten Usopp was even here, let alone he would never uphold a promise of not taking photos. This place and scenario truly would be the death of him.

Usopp, not initially catching onto the vibe, laughed and checked the picture he'd just taken on his camera. "You look like a natural in that Sanji- eh? Why's your face so red?"

Sanji walked past him, headed nowhere in particular. He kicked up a random pillow on the floor and tossed it toward his futon. "Nothing, it just gets hot in there." He brought his hand up, squeezing at his temples, demanding his face cool off - that his Zoro face cool off.

Usopp was watching him, then slowly turned to look at the open door to the shower. He visibly shivered and gulped when the lights turned themselves out seemingly by themselves. "So ghost Zoro came back?"

Sanji rolled his eyes, shooting him a glare and changing the subject. "Weren't you going to plan our day for tomorrow or something?"

Usopp still seemed unsure, but shook his head, putting his camera back down with his things. Sanji knew he was probably concerned, mostly because Sanji didn't automatically try wrestling the camera out of his hands to delete the photo, but honestly Sanji just didn't want to turn around for anything just yet.

"This is the laptop you've been using, right? I'll look stuff up."

Sanji pursed his lips, turning slightly to the side when something unseen to normal humans began to appear in the corner of his vision. That's when he heard Usopp's gasp and it dawned on him. The last time Sanji had used the laptop and what he'd been looking up. It'd been all those freaking yaoi results that froze on the page that he'd just closed it. So of course the next person to open it would get to see right where it'd been left off. Sanji didn't want to turn around for anything just yet - except definitely that.

He spun around, almost lunging for the laptop, but Usopp only had to put a little more weight on his side to stay in the clear where he sat on the futon. His eyes were wide and his head slowly rotated to the side. It was like information was connecting in his head. Not that Zoro must've been gay, this wouldn't have anything to do with Zoro. Not if Usopp knew it was Sanji using the computer and checking his Facebook, therefore would be the one looking anything up. The obvious conclusion would be that Sanji was looking this type of stuff up.

Usopp let out a very awkward laugh, pressing some kind of button and unfreezing the screen with ease and getting out of that window.

"Oi," Sanji, humiliated, pulled his face out of the futon, swinging his head back to look at his friend's expression. He didn't seem to want to meet Sanji's eyes for some reason. "Oi! Usopp, it's not like that. That bastard told me it meant beautiful women!"

Usopp shook his head. "No, it's okay Sanji, remember that time in middle school? We both agreed we wouldn't judge each other on the weird things we jack off to-"

"Dammit, Usopp, this isn't like your freckle fetish!"

"Alright, alright, I believe you. Now, what should we do?"

Sanji sighed, letting his head fall back into the futon. He wasn't convinced that Usopp was convinced. Whatever, he didn't have to explain anything to Usopp. Besides, he set himself up for this by not taking that damn laptop's battery out.

"Something free or cheap," he muttered. They could have fun, but those were the conditions. Sanji didn't have money to spend.

Usopp tapped his fingers on the laptop, humming lightly to himself. "I've got it. What I want to do."

This ought to be good. Slowly, Sanji pulled himself up to sit and stare. It was weird how fast they were off the yaoi subject, and also unsettling because ideas Usopp came up with on his own weren't always sane. It also appeared he knew more about Japan in general than Sanji did, so who knew what kind of tourist points he could name.

"Since staying the night in a love hotel is out of the question..." He comically cleared his throat, shooting Sanji a glance.

"Love?"

Sanji knew it was a joke, but somewhere behind him Zoro apparently didn't, indicating from his tone. Sanji purposely ignored him, however, not willing to give much explanation, if any at all. Somewhere behind Sanji came Zoro, but he remained ignored. What was with all the jokes becoming so perverted now, hadn't Sanji suffered enough to do with that kind of stuff for today?

"I really want to go to…" there was probably a drum roll happening somewhere in Usopp's head as he turned the laptop around, having used the wifi to find a place nearby, "an authentic hot spring! An Onsen!"

Sanji deadpanned. Seriously? Seriously.

He started to get up, his hand moving to take off this wardrobe. "Screw this, I should just go to work."

A hot spring? Sanji might have not known a lot about Japan and stuff, but he knew what a hot spring was and what people did in the hot spring - relaxed, butt naked.

"Sanjiiii, come on, it'll be super. I had a friend recommend them to me, it's good for the soul." Usopp set the laptop down, jumping up. "It's only a ways out from here, we could go tomorrow and then sightsee."

Sanji gestured toward the shower room. "If you want to bathe in hot water, go in there." Not that sight seeing wouldn't be interesting. He sighed, his hand finding its way back to his hair and meddling with it. "How expensive is it anyway, it sounds expensive."

Usopp glanced back down at the laptop, then quickly looked back to Sanji. If that wasn't enough of an answer, Sanji didn't know what was. "I'll pay for it. Nami gave me a vacation allowance."

Sanji narrowed his eyes at him. Allowances? What was even going on back there? He pushed it off his mind for now. "Use it to buy her a nice souvenir then."

"Ah, yes, I will, it will be the best souvenir in existence... and from the onsen."

"You're not going to give up, are you?"

Usopp lifted up his hands and shook his head. "Nope. Probably not."

Sanji let out a low growl, then let his head hang low. "Alright, fine, we can go. You're paying."

His attempts to get the traditional yukata or whatever off now futile, he moved in toward the futon and motioned Usopp off of it. His attempt at hiding a yawn went poorly and he cursed the stupid marimo body, always wanting rest when it could get it.

"Now shoo, go back to your sleeping bag."

Usopp moved over, taking the laptop along with him. "You're going to sleep? Right now?"

Sanji sprawled across his bed and tried to relax, but sent Usopp a glare. "Don't judge me," he muttered. "You've never been inside another guy's body before. It's exhausting."

Usopp raised his eyebrow, but didn't look like he would press for more. Instead, he made sure to ask a question. "In that case, how many beds should I reserve? Zoro sleeps, doesn't he?"

Sanji had never outright denied something so fast. He clenched his teeth after saying no a little too fast and turned onto his other side. Damn bastard didn't need to go anyway. It was Sanji's selfish weekend doing things with his friend, or something like that. It had nothing to do with the shower room stuff either, definitely not.

-0-

Zoro stood at the end of the futon, staring Sanji down. What the hell was his problem? All afternoon, after what had happened, Sanji had ignored him and given a very obvious cold shoulder. It was ticking Zoro off, because it didn't make any sense. If he was trying to deny some weird things had gone on in there, this was only making him seem even more guilty.

Still, Zoro didn't like it. Every way he looked at it, Sanji was his link to the world right now, the only person he was able to communicate with and the guy who was currently using his body. No matter what was going on with his emotions, he shouldn't push Zoro aside like that. He was half tempted to force him awake, but he resisted, exhaling and looking away. He knew from experience that late afternoon, pre-sleep nap, was one of the best. And there was some part of him that wondered if the stupid grumpy cook would come to his senses after the rest.

Least he seemed to hope so. Nobody had time to waste in this situation to be mad at one another and be worrying or embarrassed about stupid stuff they couldn't help. That was it, Zoro would just try and communicate with him again after he woke up. But what to do until then? He wasn't sure. Unsuccessfully, he tried moving the blanket to cover Sanji's feet, standing back up in defeat at his selective power. That's when he cringed at the sound coming out of his unwanted visitor's phone.

This guy, Usopp, whoever he was. From what Zoro gathered, he was an old friend of Sanji's who had come here for some other reason and ended up staying for a couple nights instead. It wasn't that Zoro didn't like that Sanji had other friends, he had no reason to care, but what had happened to their initial main goal of getting back to normal? That thing they both needed to strongly focus on? This guy was so loud and, when he spoke, it was so much and so fast it took Zoro a few minutes to catch up, which irritated him more. How did Sanji put up with that all day, if anything staying here with Zoro instead when it was mostly silent was looking like a plus. Yet he was acting like this.

Regardless, the Usopp guy was settled pretty comfortably on his own sleeping bag - really, what were his intentions showing up with something like that - reading something intently on his phone, cracking a smile here and there. Who he was talking to, Zoro didn't really care to find out, but given the circumstances, it was a bit sour to see him enjoying himself. Was this a vacation for him? So easily his intentions to find out who was bad mouthing his friend's image were tossed out the window.

Then there was the obvious lying. From saying stupid stuff to get their hopes up like being rich to being someone important. Liars were annoying also, so that was a second strike against the guy. Still, he was the first person to know he actually existed as well. Most people saw Sanji and normally, as they should, thought him just to be the real Zoro. Robin kind of knew Zoro was around, but it wasn't certain how clear she was on it. This Usopp guy was the first to know the whole story.

Seeing how much he apparently believed Sanji to actually be Sanji, it wasn't surprising he kept looking around every few moments for some kind of sign. Zoro wasn't sure what kind of sign he wanted, though, this wasn't one of those paranormal shows - there would be no apparitions or cold chills. He had to be suffering from a sort of jet lag to not be asleep or tired yet, what time was it usually in America, anyway? Zoro couldn't sleep because he was separated from his body, what was Usopp's excuse?

After a while, Pinocchio lowered his cell phone and finally let it charge. Then, in what appeared to be an attempt at gathering courage, he sat up and looked around more. Yup, this was haunted house behavior. The closer Zoro got, the easier he could tell Usopp had slightly paled. And what was this - his shoulders were tight, was he bracing himself for another hit with a pillow?

"Z-Zoro?" Usopp whispered and Zoro tried not to deadpan so hard. "Are you there?"

Great. So he did want a sign. Zoro sighed from where he was crouching down in front of Usopp. Sadly, as easy as it would've been, waving his hand in front of the guy's face did little. But the guy needed a sign or something so that they could communicate. Sure, Zoro had thrown a pillow at him earlier and yeah, he was able to do some small things now, but each thing was very limited and a miracle in itself, they didn't work on demand that well. As much as it infuriated him, his ghost abilities were very juvenile.

Robin had heard him once, but Zoro wasn't sure how that had worked. Usopp was a bit of a thorn in his side of course, but he wasn't angry like he'd been when he was yelling and chasing her down. The circumstances were different and spur of the moment that time. At least that's how he'd interpreted it. In the end, what was the use of sitting around and not trying? Zoro glanced over at the cellphone on the charger before he tried giving it a smack in a half assed attempt. There, he tried and his hand went right through it. Guess there wouldn't be any talking.

"Wait... you can't really talk. If you're here..." Usopp started, climbing out of his sleeping bag and standing up, his eyes still not finding a place to rest. Instead he moved and went to find his bag. "Meet me outside."

Zoro stood slowly, watching the guy walk around the room until he found a pen. Then out the door he went, without even knowing if he really had been there or understood. Idiot, Zoro was half tempted to just let him go and let him talk to himself outside. What business did they have with each other, anyway, he was here just for Sanji, wasn't he? Zoro spared another glance in Sanji's direction.

Looking at things from another perspective now, Sanji had been kind of standoffish to his friend as well. What was going on with him, it drove Zoro nuts how much he couldn't directly figure him out instead of just running on assumptions.

So maybe they were both on the same page, but Usopp had the info to share? Dammit. Fine. He would play this game. It's not like he had anything else to do other than just walking around, the television wasn't on and playing, and staring at Sanji... It was weird in general and held no entertainment when he was compromised like this.

He hesitated still, mostly anticipating how pointless this might be in the end, before going and walking through the door. Sanji wouldn't wake up for a while probably, that pre-nap had a good chance of becoming sleep anyway.

Outside the apartments, Usopp was sitting at a fold up table and chair. They weren't theirs, they belonged to another elderly resident who occasionally sat and played games there during the day. They weren't using it, now of course, giving Usopp the opportunity to borrow it and put together his set up. Zoro raised a brow as he approached.

In the center, he laid out a piece of paper, three words scribbled on it, positioned like they were the points of a triangle. They were general words, so Zoro with his limited skills could tell what they were easily. To the left, 'yes', to the right 'no', then some other word that had to mean in-between, 'maybe'. On the paper in the center was a bottle cap. That must've been for Zoro. How kind.

"Ouija?" Zoro muttered to himself, furrowing his brows. Zoro knew those type of things from movies. This Usopp was really getting into this communicating thing, wasn't he?

Usopp sat up in his seat, rolling his shoulders before reaching out to place his finger on the cap. His eyes seemed to roll back inside his head and he let out a hum. What was this? This guy. He was asking for Zoro to push him out of his seat or something.

"Zoro... Zoro... calling Zoro.. Are you here, Zoro? Move this bottle cap with me-" Pinocchio's tone had dropped into some kind of impression.

Zoro wasn't amused, but apparently he didn't have to do much to have that conveyed. The atmosphere must've changed in his favor, because Usopp cracked one of his eyes open and seemed to get that it wasn't going to work. Defeated, the guy lifted his palms up and apologized. Zoro glared off and yawned. The questions, anytime now.

"Ha... alright, let's get started, shall we? Slide the cap this way and it means yes-" Usopp nodded his head. "That way is no," Usopp shook his head. "This one is.. meh." Then shrugged.

Zoro exhaled, his hands settling into his ghostly pockets. If it was going to continue, at this rate he doubted he would be moving anything. Maybe he was mistaken and this wasn't generally an asking game with information, but Usopp's attempt to fuck around with the spirit world. Zoro wasn't a real legit spirit yet, but he was annoyed enough for them. No wonder they got furious when people took out Ouija boards. Speaking of which, shouldn't he have some letters to select as well? Zoro couldn't do sentences, but he knew enough colorful English words he could share.

Usopp propped his elbows on the table, his chin resting on the backs of his hands. He seemed a bit more concentrated now, like he was contemplating where to even begin. Then he exhaled and got to asking things. Finally.

"You get along with Sanji well, don't you?" Usopp tested the waters with a question.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. Now that things were getting started, he had to remember this wasn't some sort of test with his answers. There was nothing to gain from not being honest. When it came down to it, this was just a conversation Sanji's friend. That was it. If anything, if Usopp had some information to share, this was an advantage and he should try to uncover it, for his own curiosity or to put up with Sanji.

In truth, if he was asking how Zoro and Sanji got along, it really should've been in the shrug category, since they both drove each other insane on many occasions and Sanji did shit like ignoring him. But giving Sanji's mood swings the benefit of the doubt, he moved his fingers to the cap, dragging it across the paper until it was touching the end of 'yes'.

Then he glared at the foreigner across from him. Why was his grin so large and triumphant at just this answer? This was just a conversation, not a chess game, why did it feel like Zoro had walked into some sort of trap? Oh hell no.

"Oooh, your ghost powers work when it's about  _Sanji_ ," he jeered.

The cap flew off the table in the direction of 'no'.

Usopp sighed, his stupid grin not fading as he went to fetch and bring it back.

"Calm down, calm down," he fanned in no direction in particular, a gesture Zoro knew was meant for him, but wasn't working. "It's fine if it's like that. I'm not here to judge. I saw your hard drive. I figured it was something like this."

Usopp's face softened. "I can't imagine what this has to be like for Sanji. Waking up one day in a different country, seeing some ghost guy, being in a coma. When he decided to go back to France, that wasn't on his list, if you know what I mean."

He didn't, but it didn't matter, Usopp was going to continue anyway.

"And I'm not saying it's not hard on you either, just..." Usopp moved one of his hands, scratching his head through his hair. "I'm glad he got stuck as someone he could get along with, like you instead of someone else."

Stuck with Zoro? Did Zoro hear that right? Zoro was stuck with Sanji, of all the people who could've invaded his body, damn it.

"It's just weird." No Pinocchio,  _you're weird_. "But cool. I don't think I've ever seen Sanji so animated and reactive to someone without big boobies before. You know?"

Zoro was at a loss for words. Not because of the question, more by why Usopp felt the need to curve his hands at his chest to indicate breasts. That aside, what was he getting at? Weird, but cool and apparently Sanji didn't usually do stuff with someone without boobs. Yet he apparently hung out with this guy, who didn't have breasts, so this couldn't have been a new thing. Unless... Plastic surgery...?! That was an image Zoro never wanted to imagine and instantly he erased all trace of it from his mind.

"I wonder if this is fate? How both of you were supposed to meet and..." Usopp's voice wandered off as did his attention. He grabbed it back himself by slamming his hand down. " _Anyway_ , I know this is really your home and I might be overstepping my boundaries, but I promise I don't want any trouble. Sanji trusts you so I'll trust you."

Zoro's face relaxed. Sanji trusted him? He doubted that, the guy always did whatever he wanted. And what was he, as a ghost person, going to do to deserve trust? It's not like he could spill any secrets or anything like that even if he wanted to.

"You seem pretty awesome anyway- those were your swords, right? Sugoiii." Zoro cringed, he was a beginner speaker too, then. Just felt weird.

Usopp drummed his fingers on the table. "You know, I noticed he's giving you the cold shoulder." He sighed. "Don't worry, he's easy to crack when he gets embarrassed over stuff. I can gladly help with that. He used to do that sometimes in school, but only when he had something he really cares about."

Usopp curved a thumb back at himself, lifting his chin proudly. "I was the best at snapping him out of it, true story."

Zoro just stared. Idiot. This guy was an idiot. These weren't even questions either - why did he even make the paper Ouija board if he was just going to talk to him? Still, at the same time, from what he could understand, it was a bit reassuring. Sanji did this sometimes, it was a natural occurrence? Could he really just be flustered instead of mad? If that was the case, why be so dramatic? Why did that seem weird, but interesting to explore at the same time. An embarrassed cook. He could just remember his red face- no. Not the time.

If that was the case, it made Zoro only want to talk with Sanji more and tell him to get his ass over it. What was Usopp's plan?

"Are you still there?" Usopp's voice lowered and he glanced around. Then he swallowed thickly. "What I'm trying to get at is... Sanji might seem mad at you now, but I think he's actually having fun here. You should come with us tomorrow. I won't be able to see you, but Sanji will. And you know, he'll want to remember all his Japan memories with you." Pinocchio cleared his throat in the middle of an awkwardly placed pause. "Because you guys are friends, right?"

Shit. Were they friends? Everything was complicated and Zoro didn't want to think about it. Life had been so drama free back when he just took everything that came at him for what it was and didn't question it.

Well, he was going to go with them. But not because the Usopp guy was asking him, he had already planned to tag along. Easily, being like this, he ran out of things to watch and it would be boring as hell to stay behind. He'd never been that far from Sanji in his body before. Zoro wasn't sure it was possible nor did he feel like trusting Sanji out in Japan on his own. They'd need him for translating or something. They were both thrilled for onsens, but probably didn't know shit about proper etiquette.

Usopp was still staring around and waiting for an answer like a lost puppy, making Zoro sigh. Stubbornly, he reached out to take the cap again and edge it toward the yes - mentally reminding anyone with mind reading powers that he was able to from his own strength, not because this had to do with Sanji. That idea was preposterous.

Usopp smiled, looking up in front of him where Zoro was. It was obvious Usopp still couldn't see him, but strangely he guessed the right place. Even if it was kind of the obvious place for him to be.

Pinocchio seemed so proud saying the next words. "Arigato, Zoro-kun!"

Oh fuck no.


	12. Chapter 12

**XII.**

How was it that Usopp had only been in Japan for a night and was able to navigate around like he'd been here forever? Sanji had tried studying Japanese anytime he got inspired, but easily got burnt out doing it. Still, he couldn't help but be impressed - he'd found a bus to take them out of the city to the onsen, he'd found the actual onsen and booked their room as well. If Sanji had tried doing that using the asshole ghost as an interpreter, shit would've hit the fan.

They found a seat in the back of the bus, which was pretty empty save for a few other people. Zoro didn't need his own space, being a ghost and all, but rather than have to witness him half phased through another person, this was for the better. Sanji still didn't address him, though.

When he'd woken up that morning, bed head completely wild and still tired regardless of his long nap, a part of him had really wished Zoro would be disinterested and not want to come along. So many odd occurrences were happening between them, even more of an oddity than their general situation, and Sanji wasn't sure he could think straight around Zoro. His mind always drifted off in another direction, a very dangerous slope of confusion he wasn't ready to take on.

Speaking of confusion, it was only fair to address there was also the part of him that, even while not acknowledging him, was happy to see Zoro tag along. Going somewhere in Japan without Zoro felt useless. Sure, he was a broken compass and they could hardly communicate, but Usopp's skills would only get them so far. See, only happy he came because he could be useful. That was it. Sanji still wasn't talking to him.

Sanji leaned up against the window, staring out at the scenery while time passed. Japan was beautiful and it was so strange to think this was outside of the city he'd been stuck in for the last few weeks. His tourist ambitions leaned towards admiring it more, but he just couldn't. Zoro wasn't thinking about it, was he, what he thought he felt through Sanji? It was a fluke, but how could Sanji tell him that without looking like he'd been stressing about it?

Ignore it. Stick to the plan. Go to this hotel place, take a hot bath in a spring, go home, make money and never speak a word of it. Surely, by the end of this trip, he could be able to stare Zoro in the face comfortably again. Was it bad to start praying there would be cute girls at this onsen place this early in the trip? He could use the distraction.

Sanji glanced over at Usopp sitting next to him, studying some kind of pamphlet the bus driver had been handing out. Sanji didn't need to look too closely to see it was designed for English speakers as well, but noted how Usopp kept his finger to the Japanese words instead. He seemed to really be enjoying his time in Japan and learning what he could about its culture.

It made Sanji bitterly wonder why Usopp couldn't have switched places with Zoro instead. He seemed interested enough in Zoro's country and his hobbies and Zoro... well, he wouldn't ever not have an interesting story to listen to. No, that wouldn't be right. No matter how much Sanji tried to make it work in his imagination, it just wouldn't click, Zoro not eventually killing Usopp in his sleep somehow. He sighed, irritated at his own mind. Slowly but surely, he was becoming a mess.

"So, Sanji," Usopp shut his pamphlet and looked at Sanji, slowly edging closer until he was resting right next to him and able to nudge at his shoulder, little shit style, "what kind of job did you say you had here? Let me guess, seducing Japan's taste buds, one dish at a time as a great chef?"

Sanji shot him a glare. To an untrained ear it might've come across as praise, but Sanji knew better, seeing that the words were packed with sarcasm. Or maybe Sanji was just remembering, to his horror, what trying to do his passion here led him to so far with Zoro's stupid strength. He couldn't tell Usopp about that, though and he also definitely couldn't tell mention his real new career, either. What were the odds of getting away with a lie against the king of all lies?

"Of course. What else would I be doing?"

Usopp shrugged, surprisingly not catching onto Sanji's lie. It also probably helped that he couldn't hear the snort from his other side, where the person Sanji was avoiding sat.

"I bet that means you haven't found out what a host club is yet." Usopp smirked, then stretched his arms. "Do you think Zoro likes your cooking?"

Sanji's eyes narrowed and he shifted how he was sitting, turning toward his friend. What was this? Why was he suddenly bringing Zoro into the conversation all of the sudden? This reeked of a scheme. Sanji wasn't going to fall for it, however, nor was he going to look to see if Zoro was acting along.

"He doesn't eat," Sanji said flatly. "Besides, he's some kind of national treasure so he'd photosynthesize."

Usopp raised an eyebrow. "How does he stay alive, then? Is he really a g-ghost?"

Sanji rolled his eyes, looking back out at the scenery. "No, you idiot. It's his body, he's still attached to it and feels it and shit. So when I eat, he eats and..." he made a small circular motion with his hand, "vice versa."

Usopp seemed to contemplate this for a moment, before leaning forward in his seat and trying to get Sanji's attention once more. "So... what you're saying is, when you pee, he pees and you both feel it or-"

"Usopp," Sanji growled, stopping the conversation there and then. "How about you just start mentioning some Batman fun facts to your left, yeah? He loves those."

Usopp glanced to his side and back to Sanji. "He does? Then did you happen to mention about how I was an amazing Batman-"

"No," both Sanji and Zoro found themselves saying in unison. Sanji ready to get off the bus and Zoro no doubt not ready to hand his Batman title to some stranger.

-0-

The air was different in the place where they stopped, it was such a huge difference from the city. And quieter, minus cicadas, of course because those little fucks were everywhere. The onsen hotel was stunning and traditional, just like the picture Usopp had shown Sanji. It felt like he'd somehow walked into the virtual tour from the website.

He took a long look outside at the scenery of this small town before following Usopp inside. Like before, Sanji let Usopp stay in charge and check them in. On any other day, Sanji might've felt troublesome about it, but at this point he was here to enjoy himself. He was acting as a tourist and, honestly, that's what he was. He couldn't help but look around the lobby and purposely stay ahead of the green in the corner of his eye.

The room in itself was something else. Japanese hotels, if they were all like this, were of a different class on their own. In their room was an incredible amount of space, like a small apartment, with a low set table and two futons prepared for them. On top of them, folded elegantly, were complimentary yukata. So much for escaping wearing one of those again so soon.

And even if it didn't make a lick of sense to Sanji, since they were here for the hot spring, there was a wooden bath in the restroom connected to their room. Usopp kicked off his shoes quickly and ran across the matted floor. Every last detail here was authentic, damn.

Usopp wasn't wasting any time. "Let's go to the onsens."

"Oi, the sun is still out, why now? Don't you want to look around first?" Sanji slid off his shoes, stepping onto the matted floor himself and putting his bag down.

"You don't have to only go at night, Sanji, besides you saw it - there's like no one around so this is the best time!"

Sanji still wasn't totally convinced which Usopp took as a challenge. "And afterwards, I bet a cute girl in a kimono will come serve us dinner, or my name isn't Prince Usopp."

That definitely wasn't happening, then. Sanji rolled back his shoulders, taking another glance around the room. It seemed so interesting before, but now he was beginning to notice it lacked something semi important. He'd only realized it because he'd been actively trying to avoid it. Zoro hadn't followed them in. Maybe there was some Japanese voodoo warding him off here? That really shouldn't be his first thought of what he hoped had happened.

Well, that helped clear his mind. If he was about to possibly get naked around other men, he didn't need another mishap like what had happened back at the apartment's shower room. It was bad enough, having Zoro's face and being in his body and trying not to think weird things, let alone with him actually around. He probably got lost, or something with a sword caught his eye. This could be seen as a vacation for him too, there was no reason for it not to be. He also got to cheat and be invisible, he could do whatever the hell he wanted. If he were sane, by Sanji's standards, he could even visit the women's hot spring, for fuck's sake.

"Alright. After you." So that settled it.

-0-

Usopp's eyes were wide when Sanji took his shirt off. It was like he hadn't paid attention before or was only now realizing how Zoro's body looked like some kind of used chopping block. Zoro was built, anyone could tell that from seeing his body clothed, but he was also covered in plenty of scars. Usopp was at a loss for words, just pointing at the biggest one on Sanji's chest.

Sanji sighed, pulling down his pants and what not next and putting them away in the locker. Believe it or not, he was the slower of the two as Usopp had shot out of his underwear like a firecracker the minute they walked into the locker room. If anything, he should be more baffled at the natural green pubes, like Sanji had been. What, did it mean that not everyone looked down south first?

Well, Sanji wasn't just going to answer any questions until they were actually asked. Instead, he walked naked towards the open door and into the first onsen room. It was easy with what confidence he had - this wasn't his body to be ashamed of, not that there was a reason to be, and they were the absolute only people in there just like Usopp suspected.

The room housed the indoor bath and it looked like a simple pool, stretching out in front of a few mirrors that revealed the second hot spring located outside. Opposite the pool, in this room were a few cleaning stations where both Sanji and Usopp had taken a moment to study the cartoon diagram instructing them that they what to do first.

It seemed just like Zoro's bathroom with wooden stools and buckets in front of shower heads. Cleaning necessities were provided and it felt a little silly to think he was getting clean to go for a soak, but he could rationalize why. He took the first stool and sat down. Usopp followed, taking the one next to him, his jaw still dropped.

"H-Hey! What is this guy? Some kind of assassin?" he sputtered out. "Why does he have scars like that?"

It made Sanji laugh, actually. Well, close enough. He'd had the same amazed reaction, it had to be the big scar that was screwing him over. Sanji turned on the water then looked over at Usopp doing the same.

"Nah, swordsman," Sanji began, moving his finger to trace down the scar. It wasn't the first time he'd done this, but just like the first time, it gave him a small chill to do so. "He nearly got cut in half and still wanted to go back to work the same day."

"Swordsman? Like, so, those swords-" Sanji could see everything clicking in Usopp's head. "Then what happened there? Did they try taking his feet, too?"

Sanji's brows raised curiously and he split his knees enough to look at his ankles, where Usopp was staring. He'd noticed them a few times, but didn't really give it much thought before - if he tried to find out the reason for each little scar on every part of this body, he'd probably be uncomfortable. There were identical scars going around the middle of his shins, looking like the result of some bad stitch work.

"I'm not actually sure about those." Slowly, he reached over to his bucket to get started on getting clean, ready to switch the conversation. "And at this point I'm afraid to ask."

Sanji kept his eyes on the wall in front of him while he cleaned himself. It was too risky to look at too much so soon, not when he felt like he hadn't yet cleared his mind. He unwillingly played several scenarios in his head as to why Zoro had certain scars he remembered seeing on his body without actually looking too closely. They were painful and made him feel a little better, but also ticked him off that someone could be this dumb.

"Has he seen what you look like yet?"

The question fit the course of their conversation so far, but it still took Sanji a little off guard. It was easier answering questions about Zoro that he knew general answers to, but not so much for the things he didn't really know. After all, when Zoro had seen his picture, he didn't say anything much but things to provoke Sanji. He also played a game with what way Sanji parted his hair while they went through pictures, which didn't count for anything really, either. It bummed him out, but what was he expecting, some kind of compliment or where he was on the attractive scale since Zoro was into men? It didn't work like that. There was also the memory of Zoro saying he looked like one of the yaoi image results on the computer, but he definitely wasn't sharing that memory.

Sanji exhaled, lowering his eyes and remembering. Then, he attempted to show Usopp by pointing at nothing in particular. "He just pointed and went, 'Eyebrows.' Fucking bastard. His hair is green, he has no right to talk."

He tossed a loofa into the basket a little harder than he needed to. Usopp, finishing up cleaning himself at his station, let out a long hum.

"Have you ever tried researching into this, Sanji? Seeing if anyone else randomly switched bodies?"

Sanji wasn't sure that was a good idea. He'd tried to keep just to Facebook to keep status tabs on everyone else, but hadn't ever thought about looking up the reason why they might have switched in the first place. Maybe because he was apprehensive about what truth may lie to it, or it was easier to just feel like fate was screwing them over big time for no apparent reason.

"I can see all the alien abduction stories now." Sanji turned off the water and carefully got up from his bench. "Maybe I'll look into it later."

Usopp nodded, doing the same and getting up himself. "Well it's got to be that or you both ate some bad Chinese fortune cookies, right?"

Sanji understood that reference, shaking his head softly, trying to get water out of his ear as he approached the side of the onsen.

"Are we staying in or out?" Either was fine with him. He glanced back at Usopp, whose face had become slightly concentrated. Who knew it was such a big decision - couldn't they try both if they really wanted?

Usopp stared at the window for a moment longer before slowly glancing up at Sanji. "Outside," he decided, then gestured for Sanji to go. "Shoo, shoo, last one is whale poop!"

Five years old. It was confirmed, Usopp was five. Still, his usual behavior only made Sanji smile. He turned and walked to the glass door separating the two before striding outside. It was all fine, until of course, the door seemed to slam shut behind him and there was a sound that was unmistakingly a lock.

Sanji turned around quickly, his eyes moving to Usopp who he could see through the door. His eyes were wide, but not in a shocked manner, more like a look of getting caught red handed at trying to pull a trick. Sanji quickly headed back to the door and tried to open it. Yup, locked.

"Oi, Usopp, what the hell? Open the door." This wasn't funny, they weren't five year olds, this wasn't a place to be playing around in. They'd get kicked out for this shit.

Usopp quickly put his hands up in front of him in a defeated manner. "Sanji, I think the door is jammed. I'll go get somebody."

Sanji still glowered, taking a deep breath. He was going to hurt Usopp. "Usopp, I know you locked it, I heard you do it, it's not jammed."

Usopp moved his hand oh so innocently to cuff at his ear and squinted his eyes. "I can't hear you," he mouthed, purposely not making any noise.

Really, this was the game he wanted to play? Sanji took a step back from the door. Whatever, if that's what he was going to do and make a fool of himself, Sanji wouldn't stop him. He, for one, was looking forward to drying his skin out and didn't necessarily need Usopp around to do so. Sanji waved him off, not willing to stress anymore about what Usopp could be planning, before turning to the empty outdoor onsen.

It was very calming, unlike the situations that kept coming his way. At the far end, hot water poured into the spring, which was surrounded and edged by beautiful rocks and plant life. One with nature all while standing around being green and nude. The steam rising from the water was very inviting.

Sanji deserved to relax. Usopp was gone, Zoro was too, now he could finally be alone and think. As dangerous as thinking could be for him, it didn't hold him back. Carefully, because he didn't want to slip and land on a Marimo ass, he edged down and into the water.

It was magical, there was no denying it. Zoro's body seemed to rejoice at its touch as the water splashed up against him when he entered. They must've met sometime before, wasting no time to give him some relief. It was like every ache and muscle of this body decided to give in and sink Sanji down comfortably against the side of the spring. He couldn't help the small groan of relaxation that left his lips.

"This is so nice," he murmured to himself, closing his eyes just a moment while getting into a more comfortable position, then opening them to check out his view.

The his view was gorgeous, the day perfectly clear and the wildlife very much alive. It was such a lovely spot to be situated in, Zoro's apartment should've been closer to a place like this. Sanji rested a few moments before moving in toward the center of the pool, lowering himself deeper into the water to the point it was just over his nose, blowing out a few bubbles as he did.

So here he was, alone at last, and able to think. And... nothing was coming to him. This whole time, he'd been fooling himself thinking there were things he needed to explore and debate about in silence, but when it finally came to being alone, he couldn't think of anything in particular. Everything that was bothering him, he'd already thought about enough, it was a strain, so why should he bring it up and ruin such a relaxing moment. But, in choosing to do so, the silence of being in this wonderful spring alone seemed to become more evident.

Usopp probably wasn't coming back. Sanji didn't know what was up with him, but his odd questions and then being freaked out by Zoro's scars should have been red flags to Sanji. Either he was following through with some sort of plan - which made him fear for the state of their hotel room right now and what could be happening there - or he'd gotten spooked. So really, there wasn't a reason Sanji needed to leave the hot spring just yet while he was enjoying it, to see what Usopp was up to.

Surprisingly, as he lifted his chin to catch his breath, Sanji wasn't overheating, which was a plus. Zoro's body was really durable in these circumstances and it obviously seemed to be used to the water. Had this been Sanji's real body, he wasn't sure he could've stayed in such hot water for so long, despite how much he would've appreciated it's rejuvenation.

What to do, what to do. If he didn't think of something to do soon, he might actually fall asleep. He wasn't going to put it past this body, after all, it always wanted rest and a perfect spring was only helping the feeling. What were some things he could do, just by himself, while being Zoro?  _Appropriate_  things. He pulled his cheeks down into the water and glared ahead at nothing.

He grunted and then it dawned on him. It was stupid and very childish, but it was something he could take advantage of. Slightly, Sanji had gotten used to the fact that while he was in Zoro's body, his voice was that of Zoro's as well. It had given him chills before, but over time it became something he didn't think about. Now, he had that ability without an audience. He could say whatever the hell he wanted.

"I'm an idiot," he managed quietly. Why did he suddenly wish he had something to record this to keep for later? "Onomatopoeia."

He huffed. This was kind of fun. What else could he say for his own entertainment?

*"Watashi wa Sanji desu." That wasn't totally shitty or anything and exactly the reason Sanji's motivation to learn Japanese was nonexistent. Except it was, he knew he was saying it wrong and sounding more like an idiot in the process, even with Zoro's voice.

Though the fail sentence did catch him onto something else. The warm water must've been heating up his face.

"Sanji," he said his own name simply. It was always interesting to hear it said in Zoro's voice - which happened from time to time already - but he never had the chance to really listen. "Saaanji."

Sanji shouldn't have been as reactive as he was to it, it was just Zoro's voice saying his name, nothing special. However, it was still pretty nice to hear. Sanji moved back to leaning against the side of the pool, running his fingers through his hair before letting out a long exhale.

What was he doing with his life? More specifically, what was he doing here, listening to his own name in someone else's - a certain someone else who did weird things to his emotions, no less - voice. To the extent he hardly noticed he was mumbling out more in his voice now, and in French.

Sanji should really stop being in denial, it wasn't healthy. As much as he wanted to blatantly deny things, it was impossible to keep trying to when fate literally had him in the body of his problem. Before, in his life that didn't include waking up as someone else, maybe Sanji just hadn't been experienced yet in what he thought he understood about himself.

In the short time being stuck as Zoro, Sanji had developed what he would finally acknowledge as a shocking condition and disease;, a crush. It was stupid to think something like this just came with the body, it never would've worked out so easily. Not that it mattered - acknowledging it was one thing, but it didn't mean he would have to pursue it or something.

Knowing now his shitty brain had betrayed him into liking the guy he couldn't even properly converse with could only just help him be careful in the future and react accordingly. Nothing could happen from this anyway, not when he would be back in his own life in France soon while Zoro returned to his body to live out his own. And Sanji was still confident, sticking to his lady man ways, that he didn't want anything to happen out of this. A crush right now was just something thrown at him like this situation he would just have to deal with and then put it behind him hopefully forever.

Besides, how downright ridiculous was this? To like the guy whose body he was trapped in, who was nothing but a ghost to him in reality? They didn't even know each other or speak each other's languages, dammit. What did he even find attractive about him - oh right, he was a guy so  _nothing_.

"Shitty Marimo..." he breathed out, his eyes looking down toward the water. "Je vous aime bien."

Sanji tensed up in the water at the sound of a snort behind him. It made chills spread down his back, even in the spring. So much for being alone. Had somebody been listening this whole time? He shifted back to see quickly, almost losing his balance in doing so and his eyes widened. He should have fucking known that it was Zoro, standing right on the edge he'd used to get inside the spring, staring down at him with a very amused expression. His smile was so cocky, it made Sanji nearly ill.

"Bonjour," Zoro said with his own voice, almost teasing. "Learn Japanese." The phrase in itself was a message.

Sanji could only interpret it by assuming he'd been there for a bit and heard him mumbling nonsense to himself. The stupid idiot seemed so relaxed, his shoulders slouched and hands in pockets, what all had he seen and heard exactly? Fuck. Fucking fuck. But did he really understand? No, Sanji usually gave Zoro the benefit of the doubt, but this time no, there wasn't any way. He clenched his teeth.

Then it dawned on him. This was the reason why Usopp paused and locked him out here, wasn't it? It was a plan to trap him alone with the Marimo since Sanji had been outright ignoring him. All those stupid Zoro related questions were beginning to make sense. That shitty traitor! How did they even plan something like this - how did they even communicate?

Now Sanji was beginning to feel the warmth of this hot spring on his cheeks. Fine, this one time, Zoro had won, he got Sanji to pay attention to him. Cue the confetti and streamers. Sanji relaxed back, not willing to reveal any reaction at all, no, there was only glaring and silence. And wishing he could kill that bastard for whatever was going on in his head. God, did that mean he heard Sanji butcher his attempts to speak Japanese earlier too - pointing out he needed more practice by his remark? Whatever happened to Sanji's moment of peace and quiet away from morons?

"Oi!" Zoro raised his brows, quickly pointing in toward the water, more alarmed… as if something were there. "Snake!"

Sanji didn't even need to think about it, if there was a freaking snake around, there was no way in hell he would be here to get bit. So instinctively, he shot up and out of the water, his head dropping down to look. But there was nothing. Zilch. Nada. Except for another kind of shitty snake, known as a Marimo dick.

"I win."

Sanji's face went several shades darker and he glowered at Zoro with a half snarl. "What the hell is your problem, asshole?"

Zoro rolled his eyes, as if saying Sanji should've known. Which he kind of should have, but this was the type of stupid argument you were supposed to say in these situations when you wanted to beat around the bush, right?

"You don't-" Zoro stopped, growling slightly to himself and averted his eyes. "-look. Talk at me."

"What are you, a kid? Who cares about something stupid like that?" It hadn't even been that long, for Christ's sake. Why did he feel like he was being put on trial? He just needed some time. Sure, he could've gone another way about it probably, but oh well, here they were.

"I care,  _thank you very much_!" Never before had basic greetings sounded so pissed yet sassy while being forced through clamped teeth. Zoro's face was slightly turned away now. It was obvious to Sanji, who had seen this expression before, that Zoro was becoming flustered, their language barrier hovering around them. "Talk to me."

Sanji swallowed dryly. He wasn't expecting it to sound so genuine, though, not to mention how fast he'd snapped back at him about it. He couldn't over think it, however, or go off getting into certain moods he didn't want to. Of course Zoro cared if he was mad enough to try and ambush Sanji. If only he'd known Sanji had already decided that wouldn't last much longer. Granted, this could be because of that very thing too, him making decisions alone once more, but… this subject matter was different and he wasn't even wanting to let Zoro in on it.

Sanji moved a bit through the water toward where he came in, making it a few paces before stopping and running his fingers through his hair. The sigh he let out was irritable.

"What do you want me to say, then?" Sanji's voice was a grumble while he climbed out of the spring, hissing slightly at the air on his bare skin. He was still burning up.

Zoro's eyes flickered over to him. "I don't know."

Doesn't know, that was just great. Sanji started for the door, stopping and face palming. Son of a. Usopp still had them locked out, that bastard. If he'd been a real pal, he would have returned by now with assistance, but who knew what he was up to instead.

"Here, go be useful. Go unlock the door." Sanji turned back to Zoro. He hadn't even moved from that place, only having turned to watch Sanji.

Zoro huffed. A silent message of 'fuck that', no doubt. Whatever, Sanji wasn't really expecting it to happen anyway, not when he was being cornered here. He tensed when Zoro slowly moved in closer - regardless of knowing he wouldn't be able to touch him - and lifted his hand, as if going for his own arm. His brows were furrowed and his expression was one of pure focus. So much was going on in that mind, wasn't it? Trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say.

"Shower…" So he _was_  thinking about that still.

Sanji quickly stepped back and the red on his face wasn't just heat, if it ever were. His heart flickered. "No. Nope. No thanks, not this time."

"Oi!"

"Dammit, Zoro, it's nothing. Nothing happened, just a big misunderstanding, remembering something I saw once a really long time ago and you know how these things happen so..." Shit, he'd began to ramble, that was the first of many bad signs.

Zoro didn't seem convinced at all, of course. He quickly claimed the space Sanji had tried to make and Zoro shifted his hand to Sanji's chest. Sanji's eyes followed his fingers, prodding themselves over a certain, important organ, the area that was stupidly associated with love. When his focus jumped back up to Zoro's face, the other's expression had become slightly accusing, the way he seemed to glare right into Sanji's soul.

"Nothing?" He prodded a little more. "Misunder-" Awkward pause while he tried to recall how Sanji said it. He was getting way too good at throwing stuff back at Sanji that way. "-ing."

Shit fire though, Sanji knew what he was getting at. If he could feel what was going on with Sanji back at the apartment, there was literally no reason he didn't feel or somewhat understand the way Sanji had this heart inside Zoro's body beating like this. Why did he even need him to say some of this shit out loud? So that Sanji would be embarrassed? Was that revenge for giving him a little cold shoulder?

"I give lots of fucks." Zoro's shoulders relaxed and he paused long enough to give Sanji back some space. "Sanji."

Ah. That just wasn't fair, actually getting to hear his name from Zoro's voice at the source, given what Sanji had just been doing like a moron a few minutes ago. The type of tone hadn't ever worked on him before, unless it came from his old man, but the way Zoro said it, it would change. Why did everything seem to just keep getting harder on him?

If Zoro's intention was for Sanji to feel this stupid, he was succeeding. There was no doubt about that. Part of Sanji wondered if that was part of the plan, like if he really knew what had happened, this would be part of the rejection. Then he had to remind himself that Zoro wouldn't be petty like that. From what he knew about the guy, he probably was just genuinely curious. But Sanji wasn't sure that was any better.

"Forget it." He hadn't meant to look so defeated when he turned away from Zoro. "It's not going to happen again, I won't do anything while I'm in your body. You don't have to worry about it anymore."

Sanji started making his way over to the onsen's door. If it was still locked, he wasn't sure what he'd do, but he wasn't above banging on it for some assistance. But he couldn't leave it at that. If he left it at this, even while he was lying to Zoro's face, things wouldn't get better and Zoro wouldn't be off his back. He was concerned, most obviously about Sanji ignoring him. Their life wasn't normal, but it needed to go back to being at least a loose definition of it.

"Listen, I won't ignore you anymore. I overreacted on something shitty and I just wanted time to myself for a bit. Not easy to get while being stuck as a Marimo, you know?"

Hopeful, Sanji turned to look back at Zoro. He seemed to still be thinking, or perhaps trying to understand, but for the moment satisfied, at least, as he nodded.

Taking advantage of this change in atmosphere, Sanji went back to the door and tried the knob. To his surprise, it was unlocked and opened easily. So this whole time, he could have just stormed out? That would have been awesome to know, dammit. It meant Zoro wasn't forcing him to be there which was great, yeah, but dammit, why didn't anyone let him know?

Warm air washed over him and he moved toward the complimentary towels to cover himself. Except, there was this distinct humming that had evil intent rising inside him. Slowly, he turned and looked over toward the indoor onsen and to the section that was hidden from view to anyone looking inside through the window. Relaxing there, like he didn't have a care in the world, was Usopp. A towel folded and resting peacefully over his eyes.

He was so dead.


	13. Chapter 13

**XIII.**

Sanji gave a nice, firm, friendly smack to the bruises on Usopp's back as they left the onsen and headed back toward their room, dressed in the fancy provided yukata and all. Usopp poorly muffled a cry, but hurried onward. Sanji had barely done what he wanted, but for now, Usopp's slight discomfort would suffice, just as long as he learned a lesson about locking doors.

"I said I was sorry, Sanji! The ghost guy put me up to it - said he would haunt me and my whole family tree for generations to come! Think of my grandchildren!" Usopp awkwardly laughed, his hands clasped together as they walked.

"Oi." Zoro, behind them, didn't care for what words he understood in that bullshit explanation.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "I'm just telling the both of you now, you plan something like that again and there will be shitty hell to pay." He threw a silent glance back at Zoro then glared at Usopp. "I mean it."

Usopp visibly swallowed and shook his head, lowering his hands back to his side.

All that was left for them this evening was to eat and sleep, tomorrow being even more eventful on it's own. Something about going back somewhere to sight see at some place before sending Usopp off and going back home. Or well, Zoro's apartment. With Usopp gone, it would finally be just Sanji and Zoro once more, ever trying to gain some cash.

They chatted a bit more as they walked, until a voice brought their conversation to a stand still.

"Oh my," it was a voice familiar to Sanji, and to Zoro as well no doubt, that still sounded so velvety, "what are the odds?"

"Cat woman." Basically. Zoro hit the nail on the head.

Sanji and Usopp had both stopped and turned to look and Sanji might have paled. Great, who had asked fate if this day could get any worse, really? Not that Robin-chan was a bad thing, anything from it. She was darling and stunning! But she was also perceptive and Sanji longed to be off of everyone's radar.

"Robin-chan," he breathed out, still coming to terms with reality that she was really there, dawning her own yukata. She was naked somewhere under that, you know.

Robin was wearing her ever wonderful yet soft smile. Her eyes moved from Sanji to Usopp and back.

"Hello, Zoro, so nice to see you again and so soon." Slowly, she moved her hand to collect a bang and tuck it behind her ear. "I see you brought a friend. Did you bring your other Zoro friend, too?"

Usopp looked back and forth between them, his expression vaguely confused. "Other Zoro?" he repeated. "Sanji, she knows about you two?"

Dammit. So much for not giving it all away. Stupid Usopp, yeah he didn't know any better, but way to just spit it out. It couldn't be helped, when a cat is out of the bag, it's out of the bag. Still, Sanji found himself running a hand down his face and exhaling. Somewhere, Zoro just called him a dumbass.

Robins eyes opened a bit, her smile expanding. "Sanji?" Her parroting was flawless and she looked toward him. "So that's your real name? My, I wonder if I should ask for your birthday or social media next."

Only then did it seem to dawn on Usopp what he'd unknowingly done. His hands flew to his mouth, as if using them like a deadbolt over his trap moments after he spilled the beans would do much good. Quickly, he removed them, improvising as he went to gesture toward Robin and get her attention back on him.

"What, no, no, no! I didn't say Sanji. I was doing a bad accent, see, and I was saying 'Shall we?'.  _Shall we_." He was fooling no one.

Robin offered her hand to him. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I haven't made your acquaintance. My name is Robin."

"Usopp." He reluctantly took her hand and shook it. "How do you know Zoro- I mean San- forget it."

Sanji shot him a glare. "Oi."

"What? She already knows now, it's less confusing."

No. By no means would it ever be less confusing. Sanji lifted his gaze and found Zoro, equally unpleased. His sights were set down a hallway in a very wrong direction, but Sanji gathered that with his bad sense of direction out of equation, he most likely wanted to return to the room already.

"He's been working at a host club I frequent." So honest. There was no shame on Robin's face for her hobbies, in fact, they just sounded more pure when she said them. Sanji had to remain resistant to act stupid like he felt the urge to be.

"Host club? You work at a host club? What happened to saying he did stuff with swords?"

Sanji took a deep breath. Why was he about to defend this? "He did use to work with swords. Some shit happened and.."

"He got Zoro fired," Robin said and why was she so chipper about that? How did she even know? Her investigative abilities knew no limits. Seemingly, she read this off Sanji's surprised face. "I caught a glimpse of your file once. I apologize, my memory is selectively photographic."

Usopp stayed quiet a moment, before lifting a finger to announce a grand idea. "That's it," he began, peeking an eye at Robin, "Robin, you should join us for dinner tonight. If you want top quality gossip, I have tons I can share-"

"Usopp, you can't just go telling her to come, Robin-chan is a very busy lady and she's here relaxing on her own free time-" Deep down Sanji really wanted to have a dinner with Robin, hell, he may have fantasized about it once, only with fewer people, but he still felt they needed to be cautious. She was someone who easily noticed everything and got information out of people so there was definitely some risk.

"It's fine, Sanji. If the offer still stands, I would love to." Robin folded her arms loosely. "I love this onsen, but sometimes it does get lonesome."

Usopp looked at Sanji like a little shit. "A guest shouldn't complain about who the paying host invites." Quickly, seeing how fast that sass was taken, he turned to Robin and nervously laughed. "Great, so anyway, wait until you hear about my fabulous adventures!"

To Sanji, Usopp should have just painted a target on his head. Or rather, this time, his back, because Sanji smiled. Like hell he had actually complained about Robin joining, it was called being responsible and cautious. In a friendly manner, or so it appeared to all those who didn't know better, he gave Usopp a few 'pats' on the back, enjoying the way it made him cringe.

"Great idea, Usopp." Pat, pat. "Great idea."

-0-

"One, two and there you go. You are now Facebook friends with Sanji," Usopp announced happily, placing his phone down on the table.

Sanji nearly dropped his chopsticks. So that's what they'd been up to? He'd gotten distracted with such a lovely array of Japanese foods served to them at the table in their onsen room, he hadn't given much thought to both his friend and the lovely Robin on her phone. But now, he knew.

"What? Your password is so easy to guess. Panties, Sanji? Really?"

Zoro, who was sprawled on Sanji's futon with his arms behind his head just snorted and pulled himself up to sit instead. "Panties?"

Sanji's face heated slightly and he shot a glare at Zoro real quick. "Shut up, Marimo," he growled, before hitting Usopp upside his head. "You know damn well that isn't my shitty password."

Even though he was in minor pain, Usopp grinned, going back to his eating. Robin, sitting across from them so gracefully, just chuckled to herself. Having finished off her rice and a few other select choices, she now held her phone up, no doubt skimming Sanji's profile. It made him a bit nervous, but it wasn't exactly like she wouldn't find out on her own later.

"You look so much different than I imagined, Sanji." Her voice was kind, but Sanji wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not. He tried focusing on tasting all the various foods with Zoro's taste palette instead. "I didn't know that you were a chef. I can't help but wonder why you chose to be a host this time?"

Sanji laughed a little awkwardly at that. It was becoming a bad habit remembering exactly why that idea shit the fan so early on. "It's a little complicated Robin-chan, you see…" He paused, watching as Zoro's form came into view.

Apparently, he wasn't as bored anymore as he had been, because he came to sit close to Robin and lean over to see her phone. His eyes glanced up from the device, meeting with Sanji's and he smirked, knowing Sanji's attention was on him. He held up a finger and pointed to what Robin was doing.

"Eyebrows."

Speaking of which, Sanji had an eyebrow twitching now. "Bastard."

Usopp raised his eyebrow, leaning slightly into the table. He looked at Sanji, then to where Zoro was, except there wasn't a way he could've seen the ghost. He gestured at them with his chop stick.

"You two were a lot quieter before I locked that door, you know," he observed. "What did you two fight over, anyway?"

Sanji swallowed thickly, quickly turning his face away and went back to eating. "Nothing. We weren't fighting."

Across the table an invisible bastard rolled his eyes, muttering something about a weak cook. Because when he heard the word 'fight', that's all he could think of - a literal fight and whether they could take one another, which wasn't what was being questioned. Besides, Sanji would win anyway, the idiot was delusional.

Robin let out a low hum. "I did hear someone arguing to themselves outside." She reached over, taking her cup and drinking some of her tea before setting it down. "About sexual frustrations."

Sanji felt bad, but he forced a cough to cut her off from saying any more. Of course she was talking about hearing his conversation with Zoro, the outdoor female onsen wasn't too far away. She didn't seem too phased by the interruption, almost as if she had been prompting it and he'd given in.

Usopp went back to playing on his phone, typing something quickly on it, then raising his eyebrows at what he saw. It made him laugh, easily shifting attention in his direction.

"You said you've never looked this kind of thing up, right?"

Sanji just knew some kind of alien abduction story was on its way, how could it not have been.

"What's it say?" The guy should've really gotten to it, no need to hold them in their suspense. It was obvious he was dying to tell them anyway, with that grin on his face.

Even Zoro seemed mildly interested in his own 'my expression hasn't changed, but I haven't looked away yet, so there's that' way.

"Apparently you two aren't the only ones and this has happened to before. First result, happened last year, self made millionaire switches place with youth arsonist," Usopp paused then, pondering that. "Youth means like a teenager, right? Could you imagine waking up as Zoro and having to go to school? I've gotta read this."

Being Zoro, in high school? That was something that didn't and never should have crossed Sanji's mind. He wasn't in a state that could easily handle his imagination picturing what Zoro must've looked like in some Japanese school uniform. Though, now that he really thought about it, the only Japanese uniform he could remember off the top of his head was a girls- no, no. Dammit, he needed some kind of brain bleach to rid himself of that image.

Still, looks aside, that would have been unarguably harder than the situation now. Sanji did so-so in high school back in America, no doubt he would have flunked so fast in Japan. But it wasn't like that would be too off, right, Zoro didn't seem to exactly fit the image of honor roll student. In fact… he furrowed his brows at Zoro.

"Did you even go to school?"

It sounded more rude than he probably meant it. Honestly, his mind had formed up a scenario he wouldn't put past the Marimo, which was a high school dropout dedicating all of his time to be the best swordsman ever. Thinking about it more, it didn't seem too far fetched.

Zoro glared back at him, answering the question just by his facial response. Which was, bitch I might've.

"I imagine you would enjoy teenage girls, wouldn't you, Sanji?" Again, Sanji let out an awkward laugh. Why did he feel like such a creep when she worded it that way? "At the least, you'd excel better in Japanese."

No, wrong, it would still be atrocious. Even Zoro, though no one could see him, shook his head at that.

"I doubt that," Sanji admitted, finally out loud.

Usopp lowered his phone a bit and glanced at him. "It can't be that bad. Come on, you're among friends, say something."

"No, really, I can't."

"Ehh? I don't believe you. I once read a Japanese for dummies book overnight and became a natural. Kings themselves have complimented me!"

That was the worst lie Usopp had spewed all evening. Honestly, though, Sanji didn't know what to say on the spot. He only knew random words he'd heard here and there, never actual sentences. Why couldn't they just want to hear him say useless shit in French like all the ladies who frequented the host club?

He reached over to grab his cup of tea and slightly raised it. *"Kanpai?"

Damn, Sanji felt as stupid as that sounded. It was such a lame choice, but that's the crap they got for not letting him prepare a sentence in advance. He purposely didn't look at the one Japan native in the room. He wouldn't trust his input on Japanese, not since the yaoi incident.

Usopp didn't make a big deal about it, bringing his own cup up to make the toast, his free hand still scrolling on his phone through the article. He turned his attention back there after a sip.

"No, wait, the guy was just in college," Usopp first made sure to correct himself. "Says here they think the switch happened because they're soulmates, and they sometimes still switch to this day."

Oh. Well, that wasn't too shocking of an answer for it. Sanji's eyes moved down to stare at the table. Of course people figuring this was the work of fate would easily associate it to something like a soulmate, something also out of their control. It was an unusual thought, one that had Sanji's stomach turning slightly.

When his gaze flickered over and at Zoro, their eyes met. Of course Zoro felt it too and was giving him a stare down, but still remained respectively quiet. Was he at a loss for words with that possible reasoning as well or had he just not understood what was said? Unfortunately for Sanji, he couldn't open that thick skull and read Zoro's mind himself.

"Could you imagine switching back and forth all the time? That would get annoying." Usopp held down the power button on his phone, placing it down.

Robin, resting her arm on the table now and seemingly enjoying the view of at least Sanji's discomfort, nodded.

"If your souls are already one combined, would it matter?" Her smile grew warm. "It's a beautiful sentiment."

As if things were so easily decided like that. No, Sanji was pretty damn sure this was just fate trying to screw them over. Usopp might've found a story about two guys who had also swapped bodies, but Sanji and Zoro's situation wasn't exactly like that. There hadn't been any kind of soulmate switch between the two of them. Sanji had just gotten placed somehow in Zoro's body after his accident, temporarily knocking Zoro out of control. There was nothing soulmatey about that. It had made him a burden instead and, when they return to France, he would return to his own body. There wouldn't be anything after that - which, it was so odd that it made Sanji disappointed - and certainly not constant switching. Those other guys did have it bad if that story was legit.

"Nah, our situation is different. Zoro never left to go to my body. I screwed up, got in an accident, so for punishment, I got placed here to find my own way back. Hopefully soon."

Sanji's voice had drifted off a bit low. It brought the mood of their gathering down with it, unfortunately. It seemed to bring their attentions back to reality and the real situation at hand that they were avoiding by spending time on a trip like this. Suddenly, the guilt for coming was back.

"Man, Sanji..." Usopp lowered his eyes, his spirit a little down at the reminder. "Someone should write a book about your life."

Pfft. Yeah. Like someone would read that shit.

Robin drummed her fingers on the table lightly, her eyes focused downward. "If you don't mind me asking, what was it that triggered all of this?"

How did Sanji just know a basic summary of what had happened wouldn't do anything to quench Robin's curiosity? Still, when he'd kind of told her on the way to their room, he had to try. Usopp was staring at him now too, no doubt just as curious about what happened before the actual coma. Sanji followed his support page on Facebook, but it didn't go into too many details. But honestly, at the moment, he only recalled so much.

Sanji sighed, scratching his head lightly while contemplating how to explain it. He kind of shrugged and avoided their eyes. "Just had a stupid argument with my old man, sped off and well… yeah." He lowered his voice to a mutter. "A smooth move."

"Poor Zeff." Usopp frowned. "You better let him kick your ass when you go back. He blames himself, you know."

Sanji's expression seemed to darken. That he didn't question and was something he felt extremely guilty about. He owed his old man so much and putting him through this shit… When Sanji had everything back to normal and alright again, they would talk. Sanji would find a way to make it up to him. Sanji would pay back every last dime Zeff spent out of pocket to keep his body alive.

"Yeah," Sanji found himself going after the sake now - Zoro's body rejoiced about that, anyway, "I know."

"Zeff is the one paying for your care in your absence?" Robin's expression was more serious now, her eyes carefully watching Sanji.

"Shitty geezer, he shouldn't." Sanji threw back his own little shot of the good stuff before meeting her gaze. "He can't afford it forever. Which is why I'm at the host club. Because I have to get back, not for the ladies."

Which is why he should be working his ass off right now in order to do so, not enjoying his time like this. There was a mutter to Sanji's side from Usopp, talking about hacking some kind of funds in, but he gestured him off of the idea with his hand. Sanji might've needed to get home, but he didn't need to make them all felons in the process.

"If it's finances, I could-"

"No, Robin," Sanji hated to cut her off, it was becoming a bad habit and unlike himself, because usually he would have longed to listen to her melodic voice in full. "I couldn't accept that. I made the mess, I have to clean it up."

Robin pursed her lips, but didn't challenge him. She only nodded, taking her attention elsewhere and back to her phone.

The awkward silence prompted Sanji's eyes to search elsewhere, moving to the person next to her. Zoro was still staring him down, what for, he didn't know. It wasn't like this should have been news to him or anything, there was no reason to be so quiet all of a sudden. Sanji still swallowed thickly, his expression straining. Being the center of a conversation was the worst.

Usopp couldn't stop fidgeting in the silence, it was evident he didn't like the change in atmosphere. If he felt like Sanji should have accepted Robin's charity, respectfully he didn't say anything about it. Out of all the people there at the table, he should be the one to understand Sanji's pride the most.

"So, Robin. Why do you like to go to host clubs so much? I heard their drinks are so expensive!" You knew he'd spent tons of time with Nami when he knew stuff like what was supposedly expensive.

The question made her chuckle and she lifted her attention from her device. "Quality entertainment. What else?"

Usopp awkwardly laughed. What was he expecting? "Ha… is that so?"

"Then Sanji and…" Her eyes snaked over to the place next to her. She was staring through Zoro's chest, but was looking in the general direction. "Zoro."

Usopp shifted his head back and forth before visibly getting goosebumps. He planned shit with Zoro, but when it comes to him being addressed at the table - and not being yelled at - he gets the heebie jeebies?

Zoro wasn't too amused with Robin's answer, it seemed. He glared at her before getting up and onto his feet. It seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but under her gaze, even if her eyes couldn't truly see him. Sanji felt like he should tell him to drag his ass back here, he was being rude, but lacked the motivation that would usually surge him into doing so.

Instead, Sanji rubbed at one of his eyes with his palm. Damn pre-sleep nap, not today. He did, however, have his own question he wanted to ask Robin, since she was being so compliant. For someone who dug up a lot of information about them and found out so much easily, she was surprisingly open. Well, that could've just been what she wanted them to think.

"How are you so calm about this?" Sanji lowered his hand and peaked at her. "Guy stuck in another guy's body, even Usopp took awhile to believe it. You suspected it from the beginning."

Robin's grin didn't phase. "Did I?"

That question. Of course she did, was there any reason to question it? Sanji was temporarily dumbfounded, his mouth still open while she began to gather her things and retreat from the table.

"Thank you, but it is late." She carefully gathered her hair and pulled it back behind her shoulders.

Usopp, confused from only understanding half of that conversation, placed his hands flat down on the table and pushed himself up.

"Ah- Robin wait!" He looked over at Sanji with wide eyes, obviously having not planned that far ahead, before looking back at her. "We're going back into the city tomorrow. Y-You should come with us! Yeah! You haven't partied until you've partied with the two of us. Right, Sanji?"

Sanji glared at the idiot. It was one thing to spontaneously invite her, but to hint that he was some kind of mega player and tarnish his image - this moron. He sighed, resisting the urge to rub at his temple. It wouldn't be the end of the world if Robin joined them, he wasn't against it if he was going to enjoy himself. Why not the more the merrier? She was a part of his life in Japan, if they were making 'Japanese memories' or something, she should be included. Plus, she was always a stunning sight.

"Sure. I always appreciate time with Robin-chan." Sanji smiled. Well, it wasn't a lie.

Robin's body was turned in the direction of the door, but she turned enough to give them both another glance over. "We shall see. Good night."

-0-

After they woke up the next morning, they quickly found themselves on yet another bus, headed back into the city. Unfortunately, this time it was more crowded than before. Sanji still got his window seat, but that involved sitting closer to a ghost Zoro - nearly halfway through him, but it didn't matter. It wasn't like he could feel him and as long as he wasn't looking, it wasn't really that strange. His mind didn't feel like making something out of nothing.

Maybe it was because he just woke up in a better mood. He happily gave most of the credit on that to the springs, they really had made this body feel rejuvenated. Before, he had dreaded going on a tourist trip through the city just so Usopp could spend his life's fortune on souvenirs. The bus ride this time breezed by just like the first, even more so considering he'd fallen asleep.

It was a nice nap, Zoro's body really knew how to rest excellently, but it didn't last forever. Sanji's mind grew restless at the noise around them, his eyes glaring open at everyone getting up and leaving, already at their designation. Then it dawned on him, they were here? He shot up, glaring over at the ghost beside him who wasn't paying a lick of attention either. Zoro's head was resting back and he was faking sleep.

"Oi, Marimo, what the hell?" Sanji growled, grabbing his bag and getting his things. If they'd slept any more, the bus would've probably taken them right back to the onsen. In fact, where had Usopp and Robin vanished off to? Didn't they notice he hadn't followed them out?

Zoro's forehead wrinkled and he slowly opened his eyes, understanding slowly dawning on his face as he too got up, glancing around at empty seats.

"Oi, where Pinocchio?"

Sanji huffed. Useless. The one Japan native here and he was absolutely useless. Turning and deciding to leave the ghost if he was just going to continue being stupid, Sanji stepped off the bus and thanked the driver as he did. It only took one step and he was lost in a maze of touristic hell. There were people everywhere.

They were in the middle of the city, in a part he hadn't yet explored with Zoro. It was odd, the way they were in what seemed to be a very long and beautiful park, except it was bordered on both sides with busy streets and city buildings that went on for miles.

All around tour guides were asking for their parties and groups to stay together and follow them. Sanji couldn't read the signs posted around, but basically, they'd been dropped in some kind of festival. At least, he hoped they'd been dropped in the right place. If Usopp and Robin had just hopped off before and they kept going toward another stop, who knew where on a scale of lost they actually were.

No, Sanji refused to believe they fucked up that badly by dozing off. Which, Zoro wasn't even asleep, he was just being an asshole at this rate. Sanji scowled at him, standing in place and yawning. He didn't get to yawn just because Sanji was tired, he didn't do his job.

"Keep an eye out for them, alright shit head?" He remembered to keep his voice somewhat low, turning back to break through a crowd and look around more.

Even squinting his eyes, scanning groups, the search was not going as well as intended. The moment he thought he'd seen them, it'd turn out to be a different pair. It made him groan, running his fingers through his hair. Great. Just great, and to top it all off, he still didn't know where the hell Zoro's cellphone was.

They were in the middle of who knew where, but at least he had his bag of clothes from their night trip. He let it drop on a bench, staring at the festival in question as everyone was moving toward a few blocks down. There was a chance they'd gone there, but all he could hear was Usopp's determination to find anime figures in his mind instead. He wouldn't have missed a precious moment that could be used on shopping. But where in the hell did people buy that around here?

Zoro eventually wandered back to where Sanji was, shrugging as he approached. No luck, not that Sanji had his hopes up. He narrowed his eyes at Zoro.

"I blame this on you, you know." He sighed. "We lost them."

Zoro met his glare, flaring one of his nostrils in protest to that. "Shit cook." Then he shrugged, expressing his 'who needs them' thoughts without even having to say so.

The wind picked up a little bit, a wave of scents greeting them. Could they have already gone ahead to find somewhere to eat, or shop? It wasn't necessary he find them right away, since they didn't seem to actively be searching for them either. But still, he felt like it was the friend thing to do since he was supposed to be acting like the guy actually native to Japan. So much for a better day of staying on the downlow. Being stuck with Zoro could never be categorized as on the 'down low'.

Sanji fiddled with his bag a bit, securing it before pulling his arm through a strap. "What should we do? Keep looking?" It wasn't that he wasn't talking to no one in particular, he was talking to Zoro, but no response came.

Great, because losing two friends at the start of their daily events wasn't enough, he lost the ghost guy who had stuck behind. A little wide eyed, he surveyed the area, his eyes locking on the one green head moving through the park and straight onto the street. Now where the hell was he going? This was such a busy part of town, too much stuff going on, they needed to stick together or at least communicate.

Quickly, Sanji began to follow, having to irritably wait for a light to change to cross the street in the process - since you know, being an actual physical being he had to watch out for that stuff unlike some walking away bastards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cheers


	14. Chapter 14

**XIV.**

It was a vending machine. Yup, no matter how he looked at it, bending over to glance at its side too, it was a vending machine. But not just any vending machine - oh no, a Marimo's favorite vending machine. Sanji didn't need to know Japanese to know what was inside this one. It was beer, canned beer, at your convenience.

Sanji let out a long exhale, standing straight up and looking over at Zoro. Honestly, it was only a little past noon and he wanted to get Sanji drinking? Yeah, their situation was really annoying, but it wasn't that bad yet.

"Beer? Really? The one thing you didn't get lost finding."

Zoro didn't react to that comment, only moving to point to one of the selections. "Tomodachi," he said, a bit under the weather, gesturing then to Sanji's bag.

Sanji looked toward his bag, then back at the machine. What was that supposed to mean? He wanted him to buy one or something?

"Tomo what?" Sanji couldn't even repeat it, as a native speaker Zoro said stuff too quickly.

It couldn't have been what he thought he'd heard, which was a tiny little keychain toy you had to take care of. He fucking hated that thing, it always just shat and died on him. No, that was too random and now that he thought about it, that was... to... ta... tama... Tamagotchi. That's what that shit was.

Sanji continued to watch as the shithead took a step forward, gesturing more into the bag, even moving the zipper slightly. What, was there some beer tucked in there that Sanji hadn't noticed? He cooperated for now, taking the bag off his shoulder and placing it on the ground to investigate then cocked his eyebrow when he saw. It was his Japanese to English dictionary.

What did this mean, Sanji was going to get a lesson in Japanese today? Fine, fine, whatever, he would play along. He flipped it open.

"Tomodachi," Zoro repeated. Sanji lowered his chin, repeating it softly to himself before flipping to the page.

"Friend? Is that right?" But they were talking about beer.

"Frien. So," Zoro gave a nod and a hum of approval, though his imitation wasn't perfect. "My frien," he rolled his hand, expecting Sanji to help him out. "French?"

Oh, now Sanji was understanding – somewhat. Learn a word, give a word. Sort of. There were still some bugs in this system. "Ami. Mon Ami."

Zoro nodded once more, turning back to the vending machine. He jabbed in the direction of the beer he liked. "Mon Ami."

Sanji slowly shut his book. Nope, it wasn't a culture exchange, just an idiot. Zoro's friend was beer and it wasn't Batman he was most related too, but Captain Obvious. Sanji shook his head in defeat. What had he been expecting?

"The poor human Marimo, the last of his kind, unable to reunite with his only friends. The world really is a cruel place."

Zoro snorted at that, pausing to point at another kind. "Shit," he called it. So they weren't all his friends, apparently.

It was undeniably stupid, but Sanji still couldn't help but slightly grin at it. It was sad too, since it was Zoro missing one of his favorite things when he was in charge. But even so, the whole situation was entertaining nonetheless.

"Alright, you alcoholic," Sanji began, giving another look in the direction of the park where the bus had left them. He still didn't see any signs of Usopp or Robin. It would be a shame to waste any time he could use to look around and besides, he kind of wanted to. "What to do."

Sanji bent down, putting his dictionary back in his backpack pocket before pulling it back over his shoulder. He glanced up at Zoro, who was looking around. He couldn't tell if Zoro was familiar with this area or not. Sanji wanted to figure he was, if he knew where a beer vending machine was off the top of his head, but at the same time, this was Zoro. He had no sense of direction. He could've been winging it, for all Sanji knew.

"Food." Ah, finally a good idea.

Sanji looked at what stores were accessible. He didn't really feel like, for once, only eating onigiri. It felt like a waste when he was in a new part of town. What was something he hadn't even had yet? It felt like it was so obvious, but never had it crossed his mind.

"Sushi?"

Yes.  _Sushi_. How could Sanji live with himself if he lived in Japan for this long and returned some time soon without trying it's sushi? Granted, they weren't rich, it didn't have to be the best sushi in all of Japan - there was a documentary made about that that he thought he'd seen once - but just the idea of eating sushi while being here was enough.

"Damn Marimo, you're just full of good ideas today, aren't you?" Sanji laughed a bit, stepping back onto the sidewalk. If he were to open a sushi restaurant, where would he have it?

Zoro took lead. It was risky, but Sanji was just in one of those moods where he couldn't care less. Just so long as he remembered to take mental note what they were passing to be able to get them back.

Zoro did eventually bring them to a Sushi place that wasn't too far off. It was a bit crowded, but interesting and after approaching enough to at least peek inside, Sanji couldn't help but laugh. Japan never ceased to amaze him, really. It was a Sushi restaurant and wasn't too expensive, but had a certain special thing about it. There was a kind of conveyer belt that traveled around to the tables and were offered to customers - there was even one like a bullet train. Now that would be handy to install into the Baratie.

"That's awesome." He stepped away from the door, not wanting to appear like some kind of weird stalker peeking into the restaurant, but not entering. "But we can't eat here. It's too busy, I'd just look like some loner talking to myself. No, wait, you would." Then he added for his own defense, since he hadn't eaten in an actual public restaurant since being Zoro. "With bad manners."

Zoro stared at him for a moment before furrowing his brows, lifting his hand. Basically, translating from the body language, 'who gives a shit?'. Sanji glared. This is why he had trust issues - if that was his attitude about teaching Sanji culture, who knew what stuff he was already doing wrong.

Zoro rolled his eyes, huffed and gestured him to follow, stubbornly strolling on inside. Sanji cursed under his breath. It was a real killjoy when he started acting like that, thinking he can just yolo and do whatever he wanted because Sanji, not wanting to lose him like a kid in a supermarket, would have to follow.

Sanji took a deep breath, reminding himself that whatever happened would just look bad on Zoro, after all, before trailing in after him and sliding into the first booth that was empty. No one was paying attention to him, which wasn't too strange. People kept to themselves in Japan. He took his backpack off, putting it in the booth beside him, then shot Zoro a look.

He was smirking, sitting across from him with clear amusement. Yes, he'd gotten his way, whatever, he wasn't getting a star sticker for it. Sanji peeled his eyes from him to look at the place. It was interesting, the way it was set up, and apparently hadn't any kind of waiter to take orders. No, instead there was a touch screen at the end of the table where the conveyer belt passed. Did he just start grabbing food or something, did he have to order?

Feeling experimental, he touched the screen and watched all the options appear and their prices. Nope, this wasn't a bad place at all. Sanji would have his sushi.

"Oi." Sanji ignored Zoro, browsing the page selections. There were so many. Did they just continuously make this stuff and send it out on the belts? He was so intrigued. "Oi!"

Sanji brought his fingers back, making a fist, and turning to see what the moron wanted now. He was trying to feed their body right now, what could be more important? It was a plate, about to be taken out of sight, actually. Zoro was pointing at it hurriedly. What? Why that one? Was it that important? Not really giving it much thought, mostly to try getting the grunting man beast across from him to shut up, he grabbed the plate, setting it down in front of him. Then he stared.

What had he just grabbed? Sanji liked sushi and had it occasionally, but he'd never seen whatever this one was. Or maybe he had, but this was just the authentic version. Either way, why did he have to grab it when he didn't even know if he liked it? There would probably be an outrage if he tried putting it back on the belt too. Dammit.

"What's this?" he found himself asking, even though he wasn't expecting an answer. Why would the Marimo ever be helpful.

No, instead Zoro mimicked bringing something to his mouth, expecting Sanji to go ahead with it. It was hella suspicious, which meant there was probably some kind of mystery ingredient Sanji was going to encounter, but that was a risk he would just have to take. Even if it wasn't a cultural thing in Japan, it was a personal thing to never waste food.

Under the touch tablet he found his chopsticks, preparing himself. He hovered the chopsticks above the first piece, but flickered his eyes upward, sensing Zoro watching his every move, waiting to correct him already.

"Itadakimasu."

Sanji took it into his mouth whole, nearly snorting it the minute taste hit his tongue - wasabi. It wasn't because it was too unbearable either, more the fact that Zoro thought he would screw him over with this. It was amusing, he must've thought Sanji didn't know wasabi. He did and there was an unfortunate backstory to it he wouldn't ever be sharing. Still, even if this had been a heavy amount, it seemed Zoro's taste palette had already made this flavor its bitch so it wasn't affecting him badly and it actually complimented the sushi.

So, feeling good about it, he went in for the second one. It would seem where the first one lacked, the second made up for. Oh shit. He set the chopsticks down, hand going to mouth. Dammit, it was like he was set up. Zoro was laughing at him now, was it supposed to have two differing levels or was it a fluke? Anyway, he wouldn't let the bastard get the satisfaction of this, even if he was coughing it down - let it be known Sanji had forced worse down his throat.

Trying to breathe mostly out of his mouth and not feel the burn in his nostrils, he looked over at the tablet, studying its screen. Then in the corner he noticed a tiny little statement about something to do with the plates and a warning about the yellow ones. He checked the color of his plate - yellow. If he had to guess, it meant wasabi.

Sanji let his sinuses calm. That wasn't anything. He wiped away the water at his eyes in a single movement. Bring it on.

"Next."

Zoro was fairly pleased, muttering something to himself and shaking his head. He looked back at the conveyer belt, waiting until another certain dish came by to motion for it. Sanji, up for the challenge, reached for it. It was a surprise it wasn't a yellow plate this time, he was sure this was about to turn into some kind of wasabi endurance challenge, but at the same time he was relieved. It was bad enough to be stuck in Zoro's body, he did not want to be sick and stuck in Zoro's body.

This one looked a lot safer. Still, Sanji hovered his chopsticks above. He couldn't read the Japanese on the screen so he was just relying on instinct that the wasabi would be color coded. In the end this was another gamble. Like the first dish, now laying off to the side, he took one fully into his mouth. You only live once anyway, right?

"Shit." That was a pleasant taste. He looked down at the other one on the plate, since thankfully they came in twos. "That's good."

Zoro would actually have him eat something interesting and not for his own amusement? Well, that second part might not have been true since he was still watching. His smirk subsided into something softer.

"Oishī."

Sanji could agree, since he recognized that word. "Mm, Oishī." Then, because this was apparently a day of learning. "Délicieux."

"De- Tch." So easy to throw in the towel. Still, it made Sanji chuckle. They'd never learn anything at this rate.

When they finally did leave the sushi establishment, it was far later into the afternoon. Days just seemed to pass by quicker. Not that they hadn't arrived past noon and only had so long anyway. They trailed back toward the park and the bus stops. Still, no matter where they looked, there was no sign of Usopp or Robin.

Sanji eased back onto a bench and watched a few people pass by. He had two options here: he could go off trying to find them and risk getting lost or something happening - as something always did - or he could just opt to remain right there at the bus stop for when either they or the buses would return and he could go back home. Both plausible decisions, but each felt like such a waste considering he could be taking advantage of it. Like for instance he could be... Could be... Could be going where those people were walking away from at that tower.

Wait, had that tower been there before? Well, of course it had to be, towers didn't simply just appear out of thin air, this wasn't Minecraft. It was tall and a block away or so. It wasn't as crowded as other areas, certainly not as much as the festivities, but appeared to have an elevator to the top and an observation deck. Sanji wasn't stupid, he knew he wouldn't be able to spot Robin or Usopp from up there since they'd look like nothing more than ants. But he could visit for the hell of it.

"Oi, Marimo." Sanji cocked his head in its direction.

Zoro stared at him, then up at the tower, already understanding as it made him huff. Despite his failed attempt at disinterest, he didn't hesitate to follow Sanji there on his exploration.

As Sanji had suspected from the outside, it was surprisingly not as crowded which made little to no sense. Who wouldn't want to scale a tower for a view? It cost him a small fee, but luckily he qualified for the buy one get one free deal, ghost edition. The actual view on top was more than Sanji could have imagined.

They hadn't picked a better time to come, really. Each wall was nothing but glass, exposing them to the city while the sun was beginning to set. The light hit the tall buildings and their windows shined in reflection. It was somewhat blinding, but as Sanji approached one of the mirrored walls, the angle of the light left his eyes and he could spot the shadows of mountains off in the distance. Japan was beautiful.

This was Zoro's city and somewhere beyond this view was where they'd been all this time and he'd never even thought about it. He never thought to even give the actual land much thought, due to his personal shit storm, but when it was just him and this view, it was hard to ignore. He glanced back at the only other people up there, looking somewhere on the other side, before getting even closer to the glass to take a look at the ants below at their park festival.

"Damn," Sanji said under his breath, careful how loud he spoke.

It was probably silly, but he managed to stay there, his face close to the glass watching for a while, enough for the elevator to have left and returned with more passengers. He only moved to the other side when a mother and child were trying to wave to a ground level somebody. The backside didn't focus much on nature, just rows and rows of buildings of different sizes. Their night time lights were beginning to show.

Sanji hadn't even been paying attention to what Zoro was doing, initially, but as the sun light changed, it wasn't long until he spotted his reflection. He was standing behind Sanji, staring just as much. It was kind of uncharacteristic as Sanji had been anticipating complaints or yawns of boredom, but there weren't any. He looked at Zoro only a moment before returning his gaze to the view.

"When I see shit like this, I think I might actually miss this place when I go back." He slowly rested against one of the beams at the windows edge. "Usopp was right. I'm glad I went. Else I wouldn't have seen this."

Zoro's expression was serious and stern when Sanji's eyes looked back to his reflection. It was evident he'd been rolling something around in his thick head and had something to say, but wouldn't just yet. Whether it was because of simply bad timing or he couldn't form the words, Sanji wasn't sure, but he just knew. Unwillingly, he was becoming quite the professional Marimo interpreter. Their silence doesn't last long, however, as Zoro eventually speaks. His tone is different, evidence that the atmosphere was about to shift.

"Sanji."

Sanji could feel his mouth running dry at hearing his name from Zoro again so soon. Unconsciously he found himself slightly turning more toward the glass. His exhausted mind wanted it to be over with, he'd been toyed with about several things already, but he would stay and listen. There was no point in trying to walk off and ignore Zoro, not when they would have to share the same elevator on the way down again. That and Sanji's curiosity actually did want to hear what he would say.

"My body," Zoro started and the conversation was already bringing up what had been said the previous day.

Zoro was referring to what Sanji had said about not worrying over him doing anything with it. It was one of the few things Sanji had thought up on the spot to try to get Zoro off the subject of what he'd been feeling Sanji feel.

"You do… I don't care. What you want. But you. I care." Zoro interrupted himself with an infuriated sigh. It was so awkward and evident there wasn't a true confidence in his words. Not in the feeling behind them, but in his ability to express what it was he was trying to say the way he wanted. Wires weren't connecting just yet.

Sanji's eyes snaked to the side and he let himself take in the sight of Zoro growing more flustered. He was more irritated than embarrassed, when he shouldn't have been stressing over it so much to begin with. Sanji hadn't been expecting perfection, certainly not from the Marimo. Things had a way of playing out in the end anyway, regardless if they were expressed.

That and there was Sanji's talent, too. Even from the beginning somehow, without really noticing himself, he'd been able to understand what Zoro meant even through broken sentences or half gestures. It was a peculiar thing, but got them this far and it was the reason why Sanji could feel himself actually holding his breath while he listened and anticipated the next few words.

"The shower-" Sanji could feel his heart scrunch up, feeling unbearably too large for his empty chest. Back to that humiliating event once more. Zoro was definitely confronting what Sanji wanted him to just drop and forget. With lack of vocabulary, it was hard for him not to get straight back to it, Sanji supposed.

Sanji had remained composed up until that point when he felt it. A touch, on his shoulder, not from a stranger, but from Zoro himself. It made Sanji stand stiffer, his toes tightly curling against the bottom of his shoe. Zoro had never been able to touch him directly before, having only ever phased through. Sometimes it could've happened through clothes when he really tried, like what had happened with the yukata, but even then it wasn't like this. It hadn't been like a real hand on his shoulder, or felt surprisingly comforting and flustering enough that Sanji wasn't sure whether or not to be wary. The things Zoro then continued to do didn't help either.

"Shit!" Zoro cussed, throwing in the towel for trying to sugar coat anything.

Sanji's eyes widened when the non existent hand on his shoulder curved it's fingers into him, getting a good hold before yanking him around. He was dumbfounded and speechless. Zoro had been practicing, sure, but since when the hell could he do something like that? First accidentally clicking stuff on a computer and now pulling Sanji around with ease? Talk about a load of poltergeist shit.

Their eyes met, their faces both mimicking the same red bewilderment and loss of words. The subject had already been a certain level of dramatic, but now it had risen to new heights, probably not the expected outcome of what was happening.

Zoro released his hold on Sanji, looking at his hand just a moment as if catching up with what he'd just accomplished. It didn't last long, however, his hand taking it's place once more, his focus back to his resolve. Truly, if someone had been able to see them both there at once, in that moment, it would have looked exactly like a mediocre over dramatic exchange between two moss heads. But it somehow just fit.

"Me too." Zoro huffed out, his eyes drilling back into Sanji's. "Okay?"

When Zoro stares so intently like that, Sanji never knows what he should think. It's a wonder Zoro even could, considering it was an exact copy of his own, but in times like these it didn't feel that way at all. There were a handful of times Sanji actually felt like Zoro saw through that and could see him. Or at least, when he was trying to say cheesy stuff like that, it's what he wanted to think.

Still, what did he mean by that? Him too? If Zoro was going to these lengths just to let him know he had felt what Sanji was experiencing, there really wasn't a need.

"What?" Sanji asked out loud, but still quietly enough while still being overly conscious.

Zoro broke away from the gaze, obviously not thrilled that what he was trying to say wasn't getting through just yet. He stared off at nothing, then looked back with what seemed to be a new plan. Then, just like he'd done the previous day, he gave pats over his own heart to symbolize what Sanji had been feeling.

Sanji watched him, swallowing thickly as he did. The more obvious this was becoming about Sanji's unnecessary and not asked for boy's crush, the more nervous and rambling territory he was entering.

"Of course you felt me do that, shithead-" Sanji's explanation started coming out fast, but Zoro cut him off.

"No," Zoro groaned. Apparently this was rocket science difficulty to understand. " _Me_. I feel."

Well, damn asshole, okay, way to make it about yourself. Sanji clamped his mouth shut. He was giving the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't understanding Zoro properly before, but really, he had been in denial. He knew what Zoro was getting at and putting on the table. The stupid crush thing and bad timing of girly-ass stomach butterflies was a shared experience, not just the influence of one over the other.

So the feelings were mutual and lingering out on the table to grab, but there were no leads. It was probably for the best. For the time being, it was miracle enough they'd gotten this far and into understanding one another. That and circumstance wasn't their friend if they even wanted to progress. Which actually brought Sanji's mind back to the obvious things about this hell.

It wasn't bad enough that he was out of his norm by crushing on some guy whose body he inhabited, the damn ghost fucker liked him back? Seriously, this was happening? Well no, nothing was happening because it wasn't moving into anything, but still.

Sanji's face was on fire and he didn't blame Zoro for having to look off again, it was probably hard to see it controlled by a lost for words moron. It took a few more seconds, but then it dawned onto Sanji time hadn't stood still, he was just standing there, torturing the situation with silence. He cleared his throat, even ran his fingers through his hair as he took a step back in order to summon back some semblance of composure. This was unexpected, he hadn't written a speech or anything.

"I'm an idiot. We're such idiots..." he acknowledged, the first step in recovery. So much happening right before their faces and it took them even this long to notice them? "How do we keep getting into these situations?"

Since the morning Sanji woke up inside Zoro's body, their predicament never retained the same shape. Things had constantly been hurdled their way and had been fucked up and stressful and this one definitely left an impact. They'd never met in a traditional way, actually face to face as themselves, and held a legit conversation where they completely understood one another and yet, that didn't seem to matter in the slightest. Sanji didn't want to risk being a dreamer, but why the hell did he have a voice in the back of his head that was undeniably Usopp, talking about those other victims who'd blamed it on being soulmates.

Zoro seemed to be winding down and relaxing now that the cat was out of the bag. He only gave a shrug to Sanji's question.

"We're screwed."

The very manner in which Zoro said it and the fact it'd been a mantra that he had used a handful of occasions through all of this made Sanji laugh. It was so undeniably and obviously the truth when it came down to them. It could and would always sum up what had been happening to them. They needed it on T-shirts, dammit.

When Sanji stopped laughing, his face softened. So where exactly did this leave them? What choices did they have? Again, their situation was a growing buzz kill. Or, in this instance, cock block.

"France." It was like the Marimo had used more of his witchcraft and had read Sanji's mind.

But of course, shit, where was Sanji's mind running off to? Of course the answer was France. All the resolutions and answers to their prayers would be there. Things would get to be normal once more and dramatic stressful moments like this would be a thing of the past - though, that was most likely stretching it, one didn't simply get over the trauma of a green dick.

Honestly, they couldn't even begin imagining or entertaining the thought of anything until they knew how France would play out. It was a bitter thought, but remaining honest still, what would be the appeal of getting close to someone now who might never have a body to go back to?

Still, unsure of what to say, silence turned the atmosphere awkward as Sanji simply nodded in agreement. It was awkward, but not in a bad way, more in a befitting way for two morons such as themselves. Seriously, finding time to somehow begin fancying one another while all this was going down?

It made Sanji feel sort of heavy in Zoro's body, too. He was inside the body of a guy that seemingly kind of could like him. But shit! That was no reason to turn into a high school girl about it! They didn't have time to stand there and stare at rooftops in the dark. They took the next elevator ride down and headed back toward the bus stops.

To both their surprise, Usopp was already there and waiting. Unsupervised he'd made a tiny mess - his bag on the ground while he tried packing away all his purchases, that from Sanji's view seemed to suggest he out-splurged himself. It was a good thing he'd barely packed anything to begin with.

Usopp noticed them first before they had a moment to say anything and hopped to his feet. Sanji was tempted to kick his ass, having been ditched and left on the bus, but resisted the urge. It wasn't like he hadn't had an alright day out of it in the end.

The first thing Usopp did when he approached was shove candy in his face, wearing a giant grin. They were Kit-Kat's, more specifically.

"Sanji! Look at this! They've got like a dozen different flavors of Kit-Kat's."

To pat him on the head or not pat him on the head, that was the question. Instead, Sanji plucked one of the packaged candies from him and walked closer to his suitcase. This would serve as an alright compensation. Usopp nearly shrilled when he went to open it.

"You don't understand what I had to do to get these! They were the last ones and I had to fight some kid in a straw hat for them! He was crazy, swallowing everything up like a black hole-" Usopp flailed his arms about for emphasis as he spoke.

It was uncertain how, but Usopp's stories were definitely becoming more random. Respectively though, Sanji went ahead, munching his prize. Only to then, of course, want to spit it out. Seriously? Why was there even a need for a wasabi flavored Kit-Kat? He coughed, somehow managing it down, then looked around.

"Cat woman?" Zoro suggested, having noticed just what he had. He was handy in a 'one of those little guys who sit on your shoulders and say shit sometimes' way.

"That's right. Where is Robin? Wasn't she with you?" Sanji asked, looking back down at Usopp finishing his extra packing.

"Oh!" Usopp finished zipping it up and gave it a pat before looking up at him. "She was, but she had to leave to take care of some things. Wanted me to pass on her thanks for inviting her. But you'll see her back at the host club, right?"

Sanji nodded. It would have to be there, there wouldn't be much anything else Sanji would be strictly devoting his time to now. He was all around very body-sick, his own variation of being home sick.

Usopp stood back up on his feet, setting his suitcase upright with him. Attempting to act 'cool', he rested against it. "How was the day for you two?"

Sanji's eye flickered to Zoro, who was just mindlessly listening and staring until he seemed to understand the question and jumped to Sanji, in which he quickly switched to staring right at Usopp once more.

"It was," he paused for a moment, but hell it wasn't like Usopp didn't already know, Sanji couldn't lie worth shit, "interesting."

Usopp smiled, satisfied with that answer, but his expression shifted to something more sorrowful when a bus that wasn't on the transport line they used to get here pulled up. This was the part of the trip that did suck ass, the part where Sanji and his friend would part ways and Usopp would head to the airport and go back to the US and live his life.

They were both silent, staring at different things. It wasn't a normal goodbye. Real life things were scary and unpredictable and it wasn't for certain they would even see one another again. Sanji could still end up bodiless and probably die.

Usopp was bad at keeping face. His lips were quivering, he was trying to be brave and end on a good note, it seemed. But it wasn't weakness to think that. Sanji couldn't honestly say if he wasn't in the body of a grump, he wouldn't be the same.

"I'm glad you came, Usopp," Sanji said with a half smile.

Usopp looked up at him and the waterworks started. Arms outstretched, he launched himself at Sanji. It surprised both him and Zoro, but Sanji didn't push him away, instead he returned the hug. Zoro could suck it if he had complaints, this was his best friend, for fuck's sake.

"Don't stay in Japan too long, Sanji!" The words were so drenched. "If you get in a tight spot, you call. Just because you think no one else will believe you, doesn't mean you don't have friends who will do anything to help!"

Sanji clenched his teeth, pulling away from Usopp. "You little shit. Just go back home, don't worry about me, you really think I'm going to stay here much longer?" His face softened and he smiled. "Thanks."

Usopp took a step back, equally happy, but rubbing at his eyes. With a shaky hand, he moved to retrieve something from his pocket and place it back into Sanji's hand. Unexpectedly, it was Zoro's phone he had thought he lost.

"Wait, why..."

"Sorry. I took it looking for blackmail in case you weren't really Sanji. But I knew for a while it wasn't necessary."

Sanji huffed, rolling his eyes and putting the thing away. Figures, typical Usopp.

Usopp's hand went back to his suitcase, but his eyes traveled around aimlessly. "Goodbye to you too, Zoro. Lets Ouija again after you stop babysitting Sanji!"

"Oi!" What the hell was that about?

Zoro smirked, moving a bit forward. Then in one movement he gave Usopp a hearty smack to the back - but in a 'friendly' way.

"Sayonara, Pinocchio."

The chills that ran through Usopp were so obvious, his eyes growing wide. Apparently, even after trying to speak to the paranormal, Zoro's pat on the back was much too spooky. But it wasn't like there were any pillows around for an alternative.

Usopp still let out a shrill sound, his head turning exactly where Zoro was, before he grabbed his bag and hightailed it toward the bus. Sanji cocked his eyebrow, watching while he got on and vanished amongst the other passengers. Zoro looked just as perplexed.

"Do you think he heard you, too?" Sanji suggested, though he really didn't understand how Zoro's temporary ghost powers worked.

Zoro shrugged, scratching at his head. "Don't know," he sighed, then with his thumb motioned to another direction. "Home."

Yeah, going back home to the apartment was a good idea. They'd had enough 'fun' the last two days, now it was time to sleep and get back on track.

-0-

Zeff pulled his eyes away from the growing stack of journals on the hospital nightstand. He'd gone through and read them all daily to his stepson, but to no avail. The machines around them still sounded and worked, keeping Sanji's breathing in check. He'd hoped by now there would surely have been some kind of change. He'd really prayed for it, but things seemed to be just as bad as the first day.

It was hard to believe, since the cuts and bruises on Sanji were mostly gone now and he only appeared to be at rest. He didn't look to be in pain, or like he was struggling, just at ease. Maybe it was time that Zeff let him go? It was selfish to keep his body here relying on machines for his own comfort if Sanji had already moved on. Zeff's eyes were almost glazed over, he'd been sitting in the same chair for much too long, staring at the same unfortunate scene, listening to the same heart rhythms.

So much so it was impossible for him not to catch when they changed, only slightly. It had him sitting up in his seat quickly. He'd heard it, he wasn't crazy, was he? It wasn't something he had just wanted to hear? He waited, listening cautiously, and there it was once more. Relief began to wash over him. That had to be a sign, right? He didn't want to get ahead of himself…

The door to the hospital room opened, the on call doctor that night coming inside to check over some things.

"His heart beat changed," Zeff explained, gesturing to Sanji all wired up. "Isn't that enough proof he's there?"

The doctor looked over at Zeff, his expression apathetic. Then he moved to look at the results from another machine and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Black, the brain signal is still unresponsive." He turned to walk back to the door, stalling at the end of Sanji's bed. "The best course of action would be to proceed how we discussed before. It will be best in the long haul for yourself and your finances."

Finances? Zeffs face heated in rage. He didn't care about his damn finances. Money was nothing, this was Sanji, his son. He was getting sick of this bastard and his words. Next they would be in there, asking for Sanji's organs. The doctor left and Zeff fell back into his seat, his hand at his temple. This was, by no means, what was supposed to happen after they came here to pursue their dreams.


	15. Chapter 15

**XV.**

After Pinocchio left, things had returned to normal or at least it appeared so. Sanji went right back to working at the host club, more determined to make some more funds to return back to France than ever. But it was more than a little obvious, to Zoro anyway because he could feel it, Sanji was feeling a bit bummed about it all. The change of pace had been a welcomed experience and now they were back to this schedule, day in and day out. That and having had his friend back around and a revisit to his old life, it would be strange for Sanji not to be insanely home sick. And maybe, just maybe, there were other reasons too. This guy wouldn't think too much about it.

Nope, actually, Zoro didn't stick around to watch Sanji mingle with hopeless women every night anymore. He wasn't sure if it was his lack of presence or not, but Sanji seemed more at ease when he left, and there was a bar down the street that had a TV with a station he really liked on it. Zoro had frequented bars often when he'd been a physical being inside his own body, so it was comforting to be in the atmosphere again even for only a while every night. Until that part of the night when some asshole came in and changed the station with no regard to the invisible Marimo. Unfortunately, that night was no different.

It made Zoro growl to himself. It wasn't like he'd been engulfed in a small, televised sword tournament either. Nah, this was great, if he left now, he'd be able to catch someone fondling his body's hair for sure. Why Sanji let them do that, he didn't understand, but the tips didn't lie. Damn habit was effective. Slowly, Zoro stood from the seat, stretching his arms as he did before heading toward the door.

This part of town was always considerably more crowded at night, hopefully it wouldn't push him off base too much. He was getting annoyed at hearing Sanji yell at him about getting lost and returning to the host club long after shift. It wasn't his fault, they should be working somewhere with less lights and distractions, then he wouldn't fall in with crowds so easily. Especially when the host club was just a few buildings down!

But, Zoro had made some sort of agreement that he would 'try' not to anymore. Which was stupid, it was out of his control on any given night. Still, he stayed close to the walk way, his eyes glazing over the signs and posters he passed. He was beginning to recognize them all so easily now in their order, the number of nights he'd gone back and forth. Honestly, he couldn't help but wonder, how long would it continue like this?

And by this, he meant everything - Sanji inside his body, being at the host club, Zoro wandering around aimlessly without any real thing to work towards other then moving bigger objects or flustering Sanji into a boiling point. That would never stop being fun. He stopped in front of the host club when he did reach it, staring up at it's neon sign. Another week? Another month? Would they reach a year?

Zoro knew airplane tickets and arrangements were costly, especially so since Sanji wanted to insure Zoro's financial stability after the switch back since the dumbass had gotten him fired. But come on. He should've been a little selfish and taken Robin's almost offer. Yes, Zoro hadn't really let on that he'd understood what Robin was getting at back at the onsen, but he knew she was offering some financial help to their cause. Had they taken it, would they already be switched back and their lives back to normal? Maybe… a more interesting normal?

Zoro let out a long exhale. He just wanted to hold his swords again, to be bluntly honest. He looked away from the sign and down the street. It was still kind of early in the night, he didn't need to go in and mess with Sanji just yet. But what to do… Robin.

He watched as she stepped out of a car, motioning off the driver and heading down the side of the building. Zoro hadn't seen her since the morning before she'd left Usopp to 'take care of some things'. She might as well have plastered a sign on her back that named her suspicious and prime subject to stalk and investigate. Zoro sure as hell got enough suspicious vibes from her.

Robin had said she frequented the host club, but neither Sanji nor Zoro had ever seen her unless she approached first. For a usual customer, it was strange how she could enter through a restricted door that even Sanji, an employee, hadn't been allowed into yet. Why was it that that seemed to perfectly fit her character?

Zoro had time to kill, didn't he? Of course. So, doing whatever he felt like in that moment, he followed her, phasing through the door and up some stairs. It seemed like a back office space, but why would Robin be allowed here? She could've been a frequent customer, but there wasn't a mile high club here, unless she knew someone who ran this business like Zoro had once suspected before. It would explain how she could come and go and observe them in the way she apparently had.

Just like he'd figured, there was a desk and chair among other things. It didn't appear to be a woman's domain, however, maybe a temporary stay, but she went ahead and gracefully sat at the desk's throne, moving to some paper work. Zoro furrowed his brows, looking around at what else was there. Files, things on finances and employees, the expected things in a business office. So Robin had been running this or she was very friendly with whoever was, wasn't she?

Since he was pretty much untraceable here, he didn't hesitate to move closer to the desk and what it was she was working on. By now, Robin had gotten out her laptop, searching for something and not paying mind to the closed folder in front of her. Zoro's eyes jumped right too it, recognizing the letters etched at the very top. For some reason, she had written out Sanji's name.

Something about it had Zoro's ticked off meter running. Damn her, she learned what Sanji's name was, some about his situation and here she was, researching him like a guinea pig. Then, damn that stupid Sanji for letting her figure all of this out, too. Someone who would just take information and turn around to use it for their own entertainment was not someone they should have trusted.

Zoro gritted his teeth, reaching out toward the file, turning his head just to see how many papers she'd already collected. "Damn cat woman." The comic book character he'd chosen for her wasn't that far fetched, he was realizing.

"Cat woman?" Robin chuckled lightly to herself, closing her laptop and easing back into her seat.

It made Zoro freeze. How did she do that? Why was it she seemed to have selective hearing when it came to him? Was it because this was about Sanji again, because that was getting old fast. Well, since that cat was out of the bag, what reason did he have to be to be sneaky?

Without giving a care to any consequence, he flipped open the top of the folder, his eyes scanning the first page that he saw. Wait a second, this was…

Robin sighed, rubbing lightly at her temple as she herself stared down at the folder. If she was waiting for a reaction, she wouldn't be getting one.

Zoro stood back up, closing it in one motion. He had nothing to say, the words he would've used had been lost. He stared at her for a moment. Just when he thought he could really read her, she'd thrown another curve ball.

Of course, Robin didn't look right back at him. Her eyes slowly moved about the room. "Do you understand?"

Her words, for once, were in Japanese and Zoro understood them. He also understood what she was getting at.

"I'd like this to play out on it's own." Robin slowly pulled herself up in her seat. "If you do not mind."

What did she want? An actual response? Zoro shoved the folder a few inches across the table. That was all she would get from him, even if he felt inclined to do more. He side stepped and moved back around from the desk and toward the door. It opened before he reached there, a woman and man Zoro didn't recognize entering, but he paid them no mind. Instead, he took it as an opening to swoop out and find Sanji.

Robin smiled at the display, thanking him. Then, putting on her polite face, greeted her newest visitors.

-0-

"Sad?" Sanji repeated, a little surprised. He hadn't realized he'd looked down, he was trying to be focused and on top of his game.

The worried faces of the two ladies in front of him said otherwise, their expressions soft as they wanted to listen, even if their English and French was selective at best. And that was being polite. Sanji sighed awkwardly, standing up from his position leaning across the counter, scratching at his head.

"Don't worry, my flowers! I'm not sad, I promise." He shook his hand in the air for emphasis. "Your beauty had just reminded me of home."

"Home?" the girl closest to him asked. "France?"

Sanji nodded his head. Man, if he had a dollar for how many times in a night he answered that question, he really would be on his way back now. The girls seemed to both chime in awe.

"Eiffel tower?" the other one asked.

Yup, seems about right that that would be asked about as well now. It wasn't that Sanji found answering the questions of lovely women tiresome, except that… there was a joy that wasn't there anymore. At least not in a way it had been before, when working here was fun in order to piss Zoro off and talk to women, but now it had become very repetitive. Sanji loved ladies, but even he was beginning to falter on knowing how to treat them all like their own special snowflakes, when they only asked the same things.

"No, I don't live around there, but I have seen it. One day you two should come with me, I'll gladly show you around."

The girls were delighted with that answer and Sanji let out a long exhale. Where was the thrill of the chase when they didn't even run?

A green something past their heads caught his eye, immediately grabbing his attention. Zoro. That bastard, where had he been, leaving him again? Whoever's fun idea this was, to switch them around and make him a ghost should've invented a ghost leash while they were at it, it would make things a hell of a lot easier.

Sanji excused himself from the ladies, motioning to one of his beverage machines, before moving over to it and acting as if he were checking or making something. It was a secret symbol to a certain imbecile to come near, the place's music loud enough to drown out any conversation.

Surprisingly Zoro's expression wasn't as grumpy as usual. Sanji was still annoyed however, angling his chin down.

"Where the hell did you go?" he kept his voice low, speaking only loudly enough that Zoro could hear.

Zoro turned his back to this part of the counter, facing out toward the rest of the club. He grinned, looking back at Sanji.

"Miss me?"

Too many romance movies he somehow had gotten to watch, that's what Sanji was prepared to blame that phrase on. It would also be another reason to kick his smug ass later. Sanji shot him a glare.

"Shit head, what's to miss? You of all people should know I'm tired of that face." Sanji smirked at how it got rid of Zoro's grin.

"You lie," was all Zoro muttered in response, totally not sulking like a child.

Sanji shrugged to himself. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. That was for him to know and Zoro to be annoyed about.

Everything seemed to be going fine then, Sanji moving to grab whatever drink he was mixing to move back to the ladies, but instead he froze. Usually, the club had enough noise that he never really heard distinctly what was happening with other hosts and their guests. This was different, someone was obviously unhappy in their host experience.

Sanji left the drink, turning and moving closer to his bar to take a better look. He wasn't the only one to take notice of it - even Zoro was watching, but he remained impassive and silent.

It revolved around two people, a nicely dressed lady seemingly sitting in a booth by herself, purposely avoiding the glare she'd been on the receiving end of. The other was a man, obviously not one who worked there which was a rare sight, to say the least.

They were speaking loudly in their Japanese, which was unfortunate for Sanji, there was still so much he didn't understand about it. There didn't seem to be enough time to check his dictionary for each word either, if he'd even brought it with him that night, he couldn't remember. Sanji looked back in Zoro's direction once more, just in case the Marimo felt like being useful, but of course that was wishful thinking. He was on his own to decipher what was happening, so he excused himself from the ladies at the bar one more time and began walking towards the altercation.

There were some words Sanji was kind of familiar with, he figured he could string together an explanation from. The man was arguing about the lady being there and wanting her to return home. If anything, it looked like a lover's quarrel, Sanji could imagine he'd be upset too if he found his true love in a place such as this - but what he wasn't okay with was the way the man proceeded to grab the woman by her arm and physically take her out of the booth and onto her feet. That didn't sit right with Sanji at all and he sped up on his way there, listening to the woman as she told the man to go and something about waiting for someone else to come. Luckily, she freed herself from the man's grasp.

Everyone in the place whose interest had originally been peaked tried to look away and ignore it, but Sanji couldn't. He had kind of noticed on his own, that this was a culture that minded it's own business when it came to strangers, but Sanji couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least do something. When he was close enough, he cleared his throat, focusing his attention on the lady in need.

"Excuse me, miss, would you like to wait at the bar with me?" Sanji was careful with how he spoke, hoping she knew even a little English.

Keeping face, he gestured to the bar where there was definitely a seat she could occupy, even temporarily from the one causing her distress. Her eyes looked up at him slightly confused, but she looked at the bar with slight hope. Before she could act, however, the man's glare had moved to Sanji and he'd given him a solid shove.

That brought everyone's attentions right back. Zoro stood up from where he's been observing, no doubt more alert now that someone was trying to mess with his body. Sanji took it well, only having to take a step back to catch himself. He wouldn't give the guy, now shouting obscenities in his direction, any satisfaction so his attention stayed only on the lady and hopefully escorting her away.

The lady was surprised by Sanji's oblivious play, it seemed, but she focused back on the bar and made her way for it, holding her purse closer to her side. The man, which Sanji was now mentally calling Asshole, went to snatch her arm again, but Sanji couldn't help himself. He acted fast, grabbing and yanking the guys arm away before he could do anything.

Shock spread across Asshole's face and he cursed, trying to get free immediately, but to no avail. So instead, he didn't waste time, with his free arm he brought it back to punch. Sanji had dealt with assholes coming into establishments looking to start shit most of his life, it would just be pathetic if he didn't already expect it. He released the guy's arm in that moment, ducking out of the way of the punch and making Asshole stumble forward. Then, because he loved adding a little bit of his own flair, his leg that still stood firm moved, sweeping to catch Asshole's and knock him down to the floor hard. Without missing a beat, he rested a foot on his back between his shoulder blades. Damn, he hadn't even broken a sweat, but that was probably for the best. The lady stared in awe.

Somewhere, Zoro slow clapped, mentioning some bullshit Sanji was probably supposed to interpret as this being a result of Zoro's body, but didn't. The Marimo didn't know shit just yet.

Asshole squirmed under his shoe and Sanji bowed his head to the lady, the princess of the evening.

"Are you alright?" he asked innocently.

In the moment Sanji focused on her, Asshole found a break. He lifted up quick, even with Sanji's foot there, intent on lunging and bringing him down, but failed miserably. Sanji lifted his foot only to kick it down harder on top of him. If he just stood still and didn't get so aggressive with women, things might've been easier on him.

By then, the lady had slowly backed away towards somewhere else, leaving Sanji to his fallen prey. He was about to say something philosophical, that could really hit home and open Asshole's eyes to new perspectives and not being an asshole ways, but Sanji wouldn't get a chance. He didn't expect two pairs of arms taking hold of his own and began dragging him away from the man.

Confusion set in at the fact he very well was being dragged away. With a quick glance up, he could see it was by some of his host co-workers. What was going on here? He'd kind of just saved the girl, hadn't he? Her boyfriend, husband, whatever, was being a major shit face. His answer came when they started scolding 'no's' at him, knowing he'd understand it meant wrong.

"No. No fight. We no fight here!"

In Sanji's defense, the guy had shoved him! But it seemed like it didn't matter. He was taken off the main floor, the jacket they provided taken off from his shoulders. They didn't seem the least bit happy.

"Shit. Can't we at least talk about this-"

Sanji clamped his mouth shut, watching as an overly amused Marimo followed. With that kind of audience, he would say nothing more.

-0-

On a list of top five things Sanji loved most about Japan, onigiri would rank number two easily. They were interesting on their own, tasty, came in many different varieties of flavors, Zoro's body seemed to happily crave and live off them and last, but not least - they made interesting makeshift ice packs when times got rough. Sanji groaned lowly to himself, removing the plastic wrapped convenience store rice ball from his face. He was torn, did he eat it to satisfy his depression or did he continue holding up to the road burn now on his face.

Zoro, sitting beside Sanji on this barely busy street curb, laughed at the sight. Sanji glared at him, moving the snack back to his cheek and slightly jumping at the cool touch.

"Why the hell are you laughing, bastard? It's your face." Zoro had been unable to breathe properly in between laughs the whole time Sanji's ex co-workers heaved him up and threw him face first out of the host club.

Zoro shook his head, apparently still unable to give a reply. Sanji sighed, another groan - though almost a little whiny - escaping his throat as he frowned hard at the street. They were out of a job. Everything was going so well, they were on a good track... But now they were just screwed yet again. Not to mention this had been Zoro's only good pair of clothes, now all scuffed up.

With his free hand not holding an onigiri to his now slightly swelling face, he ran fingers through his hair.

"Why is it that I have the shittest luck when you're around?" Sanji willingly tried shoving the blame his way.

Zoro stopped laughing, skeptically raising his eyebrow then figuratively shoved the blame back, shaking his head in silence in the process. Instead, he lifted up two fingers and Sanji knew it wasn't to flash the peace sign. Two jobs now that Sanji had gotten them fired from.

"You know what, Marimo? Screw it, it doesn't matter." Sanji swallowed thickly. "I'll just find us a new job tomorrow." Zoro's stare didn't seem optimistic.

Sanji sniffled pathetically, the impact to his face having messed with his sinuses. He lowered the onigiri down into his lap, hand back at his face to massage at the bridge of his nose. He might have badly pretended to be confident in saying that. What were they really going to do now for money? Sanji was fooling himself. The more he thought about it, running scenarios through his head, the host job was heaven sent, they hadn't gotten a single call back before then. Now, since he'd quite literally been kicked out on the street, there was no way he'd get a good job with these burnt bridges. He wasn't even sure his pride as a cook could withstand another failure trying to use it to get by.

Sanji's only choice would be to find some place that paid very cheaply then to ensure a job, but at that rate, his body would be long dead. Basically, with weight sinking his chest lower and lower, this had been their one clear chance. He's blown it. But he didn't have a choice but to figure things out. They weren't in such a bad shape that he needed to selfishly start selling off Zoro's things, thus intruding more on his life than he could control.

Maybe Sanji could go beg that Mihawk guy to give him another chance for Zoro's sake? Sanji couldn't see Zoro's expression, his face hidden away mostly in his hand as he attempted to keep things together, but he could almost imagine feeling the daggers Zoro would glare if he knew he even considered doing that.

Time passed without Sanji even noticing, his frame hardly moving from the position he sat while trying to think of what to do next. He had to figure something out, there wasn't a choice, being this exhausted wasn't an option. More cars continued to pass and Sanji sighed. What was he doing here now, anyway? Waiting for some kind of sign? Honestly, anything to do with fate at the moment he kind of wanted to tell to go fuck itself.

Sanji was slightly startled and pulled out of his troublesome thoughts when his pants began to gyrate like a mofo. A default ringtone began to play seconds later. Sanji reached into his pant pocket to grab the cellphone. It was Zoro's, of course, newly returned to him, but that only meant the person calling had to be a stranger to Sanji. Unless it was Usopp, but no, that couldn't have been the case, he was in their contacts.

Sanji adjusted his eyes. "I think this says unknown number." He looked over at Zoro for any indication whether or not he should answer. The idiot leaned over instead, read it and shrugged.

Well, that was more than some responses Sanji got. He stared down at it with a new found social anxiety. Which language to answer in? Well surely it was a Japanese speaking person and if it were some kind of late night asshole sales call they would be thrown off BY English. He flipped the phone open and brought it to his ear - carefully switching sides then so it didn't rest against his newly bruised cheek.

Sanji cleared his throat, freaking Marimo voice, before speaking. "Hello?"

There was a silent pause, where nothing but a tiny bit static came from the other end. Stereotypically, this would be when a demonic voice informed him he'd only have so many more days to live. Sanji lowered the phone to look at the screen to make sure the call was still going, quickly bringing it back to his ear as they tried speaking.

"Sanji?" the voice speaking was timid and unsure and worrisome. Sanji almost didn't hear it with the city life around. "This is... Sanji, right?"

It did something to Sanji he would never be able to outright explain. His heart dropped several stories, a rush of jumbled feelings coursing over him. He recognized that voice. It was Nami, another friend close to him. He was worried by how her voice sounded, confused as to why it did. Then angry that Usopp had given her this number and told her what he'd asked him not to - was that why she seemed so distressed?

Sanji had been holding his breath without realizing it, his eyes wide. His mouth was agape, but he was stalling. It was one thing to talk and convince Usopp, but Nami was Nami, what was he even supposed to say?

"Nami?" the name slipped out and a sharp breath on the other end signaled he'd answered her question. Sanji, focusing on the call, gripped the onigiri from his lap and got up to his feet, because that made it easier for some reason.

"How did you get this-"

"Sanji," Nami cut him off. It weighed at Sanji's chest. He'd only heard her voice fluctuate to a higher pitch at the end of a word when she was really freaking out. "You have to come back home now."

Sanji's whole upper body turned and cuffed in toward the phone, as if it would help him listen. Her telling him to come home soon in a panic - when here he was being a fucking idiot and losing his one chance.

"What's wrong Nami? What happened?" Luckily, Zoro's voice he'd been borrowing doesn't seem to easily falter.

Sanji's eyes snake over at the actual Marimo still sitting down at the curb, staring up confused, but focused. He was most likely receiving everything Sanji was feeling unwillingly.

"There isn't time, tomorrow-" Nami paused and, although she attempted to move away from the phone to let out a small wail or whimper, Sanji heard it still and it cut through him. "Tomorrow it's going to be… if you don't get here… please come home."

Nami couldn't even say it and Sanji didn't criticize her for it. He'd gotten the message and his body seemed to go weak. He stumbled back against the building at the curb and slid halfway down it. No time, tomorrow... He would be screwed, essentially. Sanji had thought he had more time, but no, they were already going to be pulling the plug, weren't they? He wasn't figuratively mad at Usopp anymore that he'd told her the situation. After all, this might be the last conversation they would get to have.

Sanji closed his eyes tightly, listening still to the phone. Damn sinuses were working him up again. It wasn't like this hadn't been a possible outcome and it had completely taken him by surprise. It didn't take long to wonder, but this was enough to make his voice shake.

"It's because of the money, isn't it?" he ghosted out the question under his breath. In no scenario whatsoever did Sanji want to imagine Zeff willingly pulling his plug.

Nami's small whimper of 'mhm' hit like bullets. "We really tried, Sanji-"

"I know. Thank you," Sanji stopped her from going down that path. She would only hurt herself more thinking it was some sort of failure, like they were just too short to reach. "I will try to make it home. Please don't cry."

He could hear her try to mask it for a few more silent moments. Sanji had never wanted to hurt her this way and felt helpless to comfort her. How could he even think about that now? Maybe because focusing just on her was what kept him from crumbling down on the street right then and there over what was happening.

"I love you. Don't forget that, okay? I'm here so... Don't keep me waiting!" She was acting, trying to sound normal when they both knew this could possibly be goodbye.

On a normal day, Sanji would've been over the moon to hear such a thing - Usopp was a damn lucky man. Clenching his teeth, he would regret trying to play strong.

"Aye, Nami. I'll be there soon."

Slowly, his hand a bit shaky, he lowered the phone and ended the call. He stared at the phone a bit, his eyes beginning to glass over, then he lowered his head into him arms and began to crumble. His life was about to end and he was thousands of miles away from home. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he wouldn't make it in time.

Sanji cursed to himself every which way he knew how, gripping the phone in his hand. This wasn't fair, he hadn't asked for any of this! He had tried his best countless times, risked his sanity just as much, to try and live with all things thrown at him, but it didn't seem to even matter. All this time it was nothing but wasted effort and a prolonged punishment before Sanji's imminent demise. Even if they had gotten to France sooner, it wouldn't have changed a thing, would it?

"Oi." There was something very bitter about hearing Zoro's voice next to him during this. Knowing that he was staring and watching like Sanji's life was some amusing spectacle. He wasn't losing anything but a short while of his life, he would get to return back to normal. Why couldn't he just shut up and leave Sanji to mourn. "Sanji-"

"Leave me alone, bastard!" Sanji viciously snapped and lifted his head. He glowered at him, eyes red from the strain. "You'll have your body back after tomorrow so leave me the hell alone."

His eyes moved to something else, a shuddering breath leaving him. His chest felt so tight, it was a wonder he could breathe at all.

"Wait, that's right, you can't understand shitty anything." In a sane mind, he wouldn't have wanted to be hurtful. "Dead. I'm dying and I'm going to be dead and there's no shit I can do about it."

Painfully, he brought a hand up and yanked at the stupid hair on his head that wasn't even his. Sanji closed his eyes, listening to himself breathe, and begged his conscious not to even start on the things he would never get to do, see, or find out ever again in his lifetime.

"I'm sorry, Zoro." His voice was very hush. Sanji didn't fancy feeling like he'd kicked a giant green scarred up puppy on top of all of this. He looked back at Zoro and his expression. Sanji knew he wasn't being very much like himself. "Lets just go back home, get wasted and watch that porn, yeah?"

He huffed and laughed miserably to himself. Zoro didn't look pleased with the offer at all, he seemed more infuriated than when Sanji was purposely talking shit in his anger. Zoro leaned in close into Sanji's space, who uncomfortably tried to lean back. His swollen eyes didn't leave Zoro's.

But Zoro, looking like he had so much to say or argue about, just let his face fall and stood back up. He was choosing to remain silent, it seemed, and his eyes purposely avoided Sanji when he turned away and started walking down the street, shaking his head slightly in the process. Sanji found himself sitting up a little at that, watching as he walked away to turn the corner.

"Bastard! Where are you going?" he yelled at after Zoro, his voice miserable.

No response came. Great, the shit storm was here in full force and even Zoro was leaving Sanji to deal with it all alone. Sanji brought his face into his hands again, growling out in frustration before deciding to scuffle to his feet. Fuck this, fuck all of that. Everything was so damn shitty, he didn't even know where to go or what to do next. He put away Zoro's phone, hastily wiping at his face with the back of his hand. Somewhere, on another part of the planet, his body was going to die and all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball somewhere stupid and wait it out. There wasn't much else he could do. For fuck's sake, if there was a lesson to be learned here, hadn't he learnt it?

Well, he had to do something. He tried to clear his mind from his internal mournings, his feet already beginning to guide him in the direction Zoro had walked off. Sanji's world was going to shit, but he really didn't want Zoro mad at him. Certainly not in these last moments. He didn't fully get why the hell something like that mattered in these last hours, but it did. Bitterly, it made him think of how some people wanted to die without regrets. It was kind of the same concept, he supposed, but he really just didn't want to deal with it alone even if he'd pissed Zoro off.

Sanji paused in his steps, though, before meeting the corner, something dawning on him. Right, live without regrets, making things right while he could. Then, the most obvious thing he needed to do became clear. If he was going to die and there was little in his power to do about it, he needed to right the first wrong that had started this all. Sanji had really wanted to do this in person and express his regrets fully, but as a classic rock song would teach, he couldn't always get what he wanted.

He should call Zeff. Chances were the old man wouldn't answer, some long distance number from Japan from a stranger he didn't know, the hell he would answer that - or even believe Sanji if he attempted to convince him who he really was. What was the time there, anyway?

Sanji retrieved Zoro's cellphone once more and began dialing a number etched in his brain. He brought it up to his ear and listened as it rang, his mouth growing dry. Hopefully, Zeff would answer, Sanji needed to talk to him at least once if this was the end. That's all in that moment he could realistically hope to ask for.

"We're sorry, the number you have tried to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service."

That shitty old man cut off his phone? Which Sanji's mind could only rationalize as him doing it to save up for- no. He closed the phone. He wasn't going to hurt himself over it, but he couldn't lie either, not getting to do even that was highly disheartening.

Sanji's throat still swelled as he put it away, his body very numb. What was he supposed to do now, hell he could barely think straight anymore. His feet stumble a bit, but he started aimlessly down the street curb. He headed again for the turn when he remembered his earlier goal of finding Zoro again.

He's cautious and nervous in a way that made absolutely no sense - then again, in the way everything had been going, it wasn't too farfetched to worry he might stumble on even more awful things. Sanji turned around the corner, stopping with an exhale. At least Zoro hadn't gotten too far.

The Marimo was propped against the building's wall, his back turned to Sanji and his knuckles of one hand pulling at his hair. Zoro's shoulders were tense, he was mad still it seemed, but also no doubt he was managing all of Sanji's never ending emotions - which he had to be dealing with both first and second hand, thanks to their circumstances. He didn't react to Sanji's arrival, he must've not even heard him.

Sanji lessened his clench on his teeth and opened his mouth, hesitating on what to say, but there was his newfound lack of motivation to even try.

"Sanji."

Robin's familiar voice grabbed both of their attention before any words could be said. Zoro, turning around, not having realized Sanji's arrival and Sanji just shocked Robin was even there at such a time at all. She was coming from the direction he'd left, a folder cutched in her arm. Her expression was serious, an odd change from her usual amusement, and she stopped a few paces away.

Sanji turned toward her, instinctively wiping at his eyes again with the back of his hands. It wasn't like he'd been crying or anything, but it did give away what he had been doing - cutting onions. He was a pitiful liar, even in body language.

"Robin?" he cleared his throat, croaking the most pathetic attempt at casual conversation yet. "What's up?"

Robin lowered her gaze, unfolding her arm with the folder and offering it out to him. Sanji was hesitant at first, but he reached out, taking it from her. His eyes scanned over the cover, stopping at where his name had been written on it. A folder about him? What kind of stuff did she dig up now? Poor thing, if she was here trying to inform him of his grim future in the next day or so, he already knew. Still, sniffing again, Sanji flipped open the folder.

He was at a loss for words. Carefully, he looked through the contents. It was anything and everything he would need to get home - a plane ticket, a passport in Zoro's name, and vital information. Everything he would have been working much longer to grab before going home. The assistance she had offered him, but he'd turned down before because of his pride once. He no longer had an option to do so again.

Stunned, Sanji looked up at her and she must have read his thoughts on his face.

"You make a piss poor Zoro, Sanji." Robin smiled. "Go home."

Sanji's lip wasn't quivering. Nope. He moved forward, grabbing Robin into a tight embrace, his body shaking lightly. She'd been the light in all the mess that was happening. She'd given him the chance he needed, he would never be able to express how much that meant.

"Robin, I could kiss you." He released her, protectively holding the file closer to him. "I'm going to pay you back for this."

Robin lightly rolled her shoulder in a shrug. "I'd rather you take the cab behind me and be on your way."

Sanji laughed dryly. Sure enough, at the end of the street was a stalled cab. Had she planned all of this? It seemed like she knew enough and now everything was falling into place... Well, that didn't matter, Sanji would sure as hell take it. He hugged her again, he couldn't help it, he could feel his will to keep on living returning to him.

"Thank you," he whispered, sliding away toward the cab. He only made it a few steps before turning around. "Wait. Take this."

Awkwardly, because it ruined any type of dramatic exit scene this could have been, he slid her his makeshift ice pack, the onigiri. At least it made her laugh.

Sanji looked behind her, where he'd left Zoro. The Marimo had stepped around the corner now. Their eyes met silently, before Sanji pulled away. He could sense that Zoro was still angry at him, and Sanji wasn't in his right mind just yet either. This was a lucky break, they couldn't afford to misuse it, he doubted any more chances would come. They'd have to leave right away, not even stop off at the apartment.

At least Zoro seemed to recognize the urgency of it, not hesitating to follow Sanji toward the cab and phase in beside Sanji in the seat. It was weird, Sanji felt like expressing his relief, but was too uncomfortable to even dare to do so. Instead, they gazed out opposite windows while they made way to the airport in haste. After all, everything would be coming together in France. Everything.


	16. Chapter 16

**XVI.**

France was very bright, much like Zoro imagined it would be. The flight had seemed to go on forever, but finally they had arrived. It was so odd, the place they'd spoken about since this whole ordeal had started and now they were finally there. Finally that much closer to being back to normal. Still, Zoro was a bit in awe. He'd never been to France before, so even now, before they even left the airport, his eyes were wandering everywhere.

So this was the land Sanji was born in. He said he'd been raised in America, but this was his birthplace. It was interesting, but then it was completely useless information. But still, something for him to ponder as he looked at posters showing off some of this part of France's main attractions and beautiful scenery. All around, everything was written in French, and people were speaking it. Zoro attempted to overhear even a little, thinking he'd stalked Sanji enough, but couldn't understand jack shit. Even if he could've, native speakers spoke much too fast.

At the moment he wasn't allowed to be walking around aimlessly like this, yet here he was. Sanji, exhausted from being unable to sleep the whole flight, lost in his thoughts, had stumbled off to find a restroom and demanded him not to move, but Zoro couldn't help but be stubborn. He'd meet him back there soon enough in a few minutes, he was just restless himself. There was still a sense of urgency, but they didn't need to move so quickly, they were already in France. Sanji would burn himself out before he could save anything, let alone himself. It would be alright to take a moment to breathe, to look around, to think about anything else other than the obvious.

Damn, thinking about Sanji again soured Zoro's mood. He wasn't angry at him specifically, except at the same time he was. Sanji was such an idiot. Yeah, he was dying, Zoro knew that from the call - and he had had his break down. But Zoro couldn't help but get frustrated remembering how in the one moment Sanji had any and all rights to be angry at life he hadn't taken it, instead he tried apologizing to Zoro and putting other's feelings first when it definitely wasn't the time for it.

Then every time Sanji brought up that Zoro's body would be his soon enough made Zoro uncomfortable. Sure, his body being back in his possession would be welcomed without a doubt, but in the context that it meant Sanji would die. Zoro couldn't and wouldn't accept that. Their ever-growing list of unfortunate events stressed him out just as equally and, eventually, he had to step away so that Sanji could really think and mourn what was happening to him without distraction. Then of course, Zoro needed to mourn a bit himself. Sanji was annoying, but he didn't want him to die. There were things they'd discussed about exploring after France, weren't there? He wanted to meet the real Sanji, face to face.

Confidence and determination was returning now that they'd landed in France. No longer were they at an impossible roadblock. Zoro stared at a giant map of the city, his eyes following the lines indicating streets. They just needed to find which of these had the hospital where Sanji's body was being kept. Sanji's friend had called and made a scene about it, but didn't even give them the exact time Sanji would be unplugged. Zoro couldn't blame them as much as he wanted, who in their sane mind could remember to write that all down, except Robin, of course.

Speaking of Robin, that cunning witch had made her plan work. When Zoro had seen the folder on her desk, he wasn't sure how she was going to give it to Sanji when the guy felt the need to turn down any assistance. Staging something to have Sanji fired and thrown out on the street was a nice touch. Even he felt very grateful to her, but it didn't change much. The lady was still suspicious as hell.

Zoro, his arms crossed in front of his chest, turned to look away from the map down the long stretch of the airport. Finally having left the restroom, Sanji was standing out in the walk way, scanning around. No doubt for Zoro, since he'd moved. Zoro sighed. The moron, already wearing another panicked look on his face. He could feel it too, rising up from the connection he had with his body.

Honestly, Zoro would feel a lot better when Sanji wasn't constantly feeling this way, when he would finally have his relief and be alright. In a strange way, Zoro worried about him. The whole flight over, Sanji's emotions had settled then became flustered again and again along with his thoughts, like he was over analyzing everything. There was a chance, a slim one, that what they were hoping wouldn't happen, he wouldn't return back to his body if they even did get there in time. But even then he could try to prove himself, couldn't he? It wouldn't be a failure, right?

Zoro's petty anger at how Sanji had taken his news faded away. At this point, knowing how he felt about Sanji and how close and far they'd come, he just wanted everything to be okay. For him to be happy again. In a state where their banters back and forth weren't because of real frustrations and harshness, where teases were the norm again. He didn't deserve a fate like this, he deserved to return back to his body and be complete again. Be the eyebrows Zoro knew he could be.

He started toward Sanji, halting when Sanji's eyes found him. He was livid, rightfully so, since Zoro had walked off when he wasn't supposed to. But what could he say, he wanted to know if there would be a giant fish restaurant posted on the map. It didn't help Sanji was already exhausted mentally and a bit physically. Sanji closed the gap between them and glared at him hard. Of course, they were in public, he couldn't vent his frustrations just yet, so that was saved for when they stepped out of the airport.

Zoro didn't even have time to properly squint at the sun finding them before Sanji turned around, guilting him with that expression.

"The hell, you bastard! I can't afford for you to get lost right now." His voice was angry, in a way that hinted Zoro was a liability, but really, Zoro knew Sanji couldn't handle it if he wasn't around. They'd been in this since day one, Sanji looked like he'd jump at even the slightest thing, he'd wound himself up so tightly. "Be fucking serious for once. If you want this body back, your ass has to be there too."

Zoro inhaled deeply, turning his face away. He'd never known how much he could hate having his own body used against him. He remained silent, though, appearing indifferent about it all. It probably wasn't the best thing to do, seeing as it only infuriated Sanji more, but at least when he was mad at Zoro, he wasn't thinking and brooding about other things.

Sanji huffed, turning and starting in the direction of the taxis lined outside the airport, ready to take any visitor wherever they desired to go.

"Whatever, Marimo, stay silent."

-0-

In that moment, to Sanji, Zoro's body felt like it weighed a ton. Finally being at the hospital, where somewhere, in some room, on who knows what floor, his body was hooked up to machines, was unreal. They were finally here, he was finally here to set things right, or at least die trying. Literally. He glanced over at Zoro.

Sanji had snapped at him to be silent, but he hadn't meant it really. He wasn't in his right mind, even he knew it, everything so unreal yet harshly real at the same time. What Zoro was thinking was a complete mystery, if he thought they could finish this or not, but still being this far with him made things a little easier to take. Sanji had a hunch why, but dismissed it.

This wasn't how he wanted to show France to Zoro, a quick land and rush to the hospital, but there would be time afterwards that he could apologize the right way, be back on good terms. Meet face to face. Sanji looked back down at the folder he had with him. Robin had gotten him this far and he was immensely thankful for it. Now how would his temporary luck pan out on getting a room number, exactly? That was the question.

Sanji took a deep breath, stepping in through the hospital's doors as they opened. He scanned the lobby, it was a week day still so it wasn't a surprise that it wasn't too crowded, but with a few people visiting others in this part of the hospital. His eyes stopped, though, at a familiar face sitting among some of the couches. His body froze as well. It was weird, considering when he'd seen Usopp - someone he knew from being himself - he'd never felt like this, but when it was Nami... Well, it wasn't the first time she made him weak in the knees.

Awkwardly, he turned his face away. It wasn't the time or place to be worrying about it, but he wanted to play cool. Even if Usopp told Nami what had been happening and she had called him believing it to be true, it didn't mean she would recognize him at that moment. Then again, it would be helpful. She was here, no doubt, because of what would be happening, she would know what room Sanji's body was in. He risked another glance her way, only to find her attention on him. He'd been spotted and judging on her expression, Usopp must've had pictures.

Zoro grunted, reminding him he was idiotically still in front of the door, so hopelessly Sanji walked over toward the couches, stopping before he got too near to her. He wasn't sure what to say. If anything, he was just so happy to see Nami again. Nami slowly rose from where she was sitting, awkwardly fiddling her fingers in front of her.

"Sanji?" Her voice matched her puffy eyes.

Sanji clenched his jaw, swallowing thickly. He nodded. "Yeah, it's me."

Nervously, like a kid, he scratched at the back of his neck, watching as Nami fought back the urge to cry, he hoped out of happiness, but it didn't make him feel any less awful. He didn't move or resist when Nami surprisingly moved forward, closing the space between them and wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"I was so worried you wouldn't get here." She cried softly into his shirt. Slowly, he moved his hand to rub at her back. He hadn't thought he would make it there either. "You have to get up there and stop them somehow. There's not a lot of time."

Sanji waited a few more moments, enjoying the gesture. He really needed that hug, but did pull away finally to look down at her face. He wasn't sure why he still felt so uncomfortable under her gaze like this.

"Don't worry, I will. What room is it?"

Nami pursed her lips. "It's the fourth floor. 4008. You have to get up there now." She pressed her hands against him gently to get going.

Sanji nodded, carefully taking her hands off of his chest. "I'm going, I'm going. I just have to get the bastard and then I'll stop all of this-"

He stopped and his blood went cold. That bastard. He looked away, then dropped her hands to literally search in each direction. Zoro was gone from his sight, again. This, seriously, wasn't the damn time.

"That fucking idiot, where the hell did he-"

"Sanji, I'm not joking! They made me leave the room because it's about to start. You have to go now."

Sanji swallowed thickly, his expression matching her's in urgency. Damn idiot, he had one job! How was Sanji supposed to return back to his body if Zoro wasn't there to claim his own? Fuck, it didn't matter. He'd come so far and the clock was ticking. If they'd made Nami leave, who knew what they were doing this very moment. His heart could be on it's last beat for all he knew. If the change was spontaneous, he could only hope Zoro would find his way back to himself on his own, because Sanji couldn't wait anymore.

He left Nami without saying much else, headed straight to the elevator like he was on autopilo, an emergency system to insure his own life had waken inside himself. To the fourth floor, he couldn't afford to worry or think about anything or anyone else.

-0-

The fourth floor to the hospital was pretty bare as well. There wasn't any traffic through the halls, only a single nurse at the nurses' station. Sanji, trying not to act too suspicious, gave her a nod before walking down the hall, his eyes sticking to the room numbers. These weren't the type of hospital rooms he had expected, they were shut off behind doors like mini apartments in a sense, probably for the unresponsive ones, those in states like his own. Unfortunately for them however, they probably hadn't woken up in someone else's body in the mean time.

He stopped outside of room 4008, a lump in his throat. How was he going to do this? Barge in and hope something happens? What if the doctor is there, what if Zeff's there? Hell, he'd never seen his body from another person's perspective - would it mess up the space time continuum? Where the hell had that Marimo gone off to? He was supposed to be here with Sanji about this.

Carefully, Sanji reached out to grab the handle, his body moving forward to a point his forehead was resting against the door. He could do this, it would all work out, he'd finally made it on time. It was all about to be over. There weren't any voices coming from inside. Mentally, he prayed this wouldn't be an empty room. Cautiously, he moved the handle, opening the door and peering inside.

It was a sight that would surely stick with Sanji for a very long time. The room was a basic hospital room by any standards, but it was bright, the curtains on the window purposely drawn back. Zeff was there and it felt unreal to see him. He was upset, evident from his breathing, while he propped himself against the bed toward Sanji's unconscious body. Sanji couldn't feel it, and he honestly wished he could, but Zeff was clutching his unconscious hand in that moment. The old geezer didn't seem to have noticed his arrival, far too busy praying under his breath.

Sanji closed the door behind him. There really wasn't anything worse than feeling like he was intruding on something so monumental to his own life. He stood so awkward, as someone else, in the room at the foot of his own bed. What was he supposed to do? Get on his knees and beg Zeff to believe he was himself? So much for hoping being in the room with his own body would start an instant change.

Damn. Just staring at himself gave Sanji goosebumps. He hadn't been that vain before all of this, he didn't constantly look at himself to know much, but it was obvious since he'd become Zoro, that time hadn't been kind to his real body. He'd lost weight, looking a bit on the frail side, so it was no wonder Zoro had initially called him weak, Sanji's muscle mass had to be shot at this point. Then, of course, there were all the wires and machines hooked up to him, compressing air and forcefully moving his chest to breathe. It was the only time Sanji was glad, albeit bitterly, that he couldn't feel them.

What was there left for him to do to get back inside? He'd come all this way to be reunited with himself and now here he was, still stuck outside. His eyes moved to his stepfather. Zeff. Sanji had missed him so much through all of this, had so much to tell him and yet he couldn't even form words. He didn't want to spew insanity in his face in these possible last moments, not when he just got to see him again when he'd thought he'd never get the chance - all because he got in a car crash after a shitty argument.

Sanji swallowed thickly and took a brave step forward, even knowing it'd give his presence away.

Zeff took a deep breath, shifting to look back at him. It was obvious it wasn't recognition in his misty eyes, in fact, it felt like Zeff hardly acknowledged Sanji at all - he didn't recognize that face so he had no reason to. One minute he'd looked him down, the next his eyes were back on Sanji's unconscious body.

"You picked a shitty day to visit, kid." His voice was nothing but a raspy breath as he spoke in French. It gave Sanji chills.

At least Zeff wasn't yelling at him to leave. It was odd and it hurt not to be able to express to Zeff who Sanji really was, but at the same time, he understood it was the best option at the time if he wanted things to remain like this a little longer - just him and his stepfather. To Zeff, he must have appeared nothing more than another friend, like Nami, paying last respects. That was the more plausible scenario, at least.

Sanji swallowed thickly. Could he do this, though? Lie to his stepfather and act like someone from the outside, playing along during a time like this? His eyes strayed back to his body. What other options did he have while he was like this, to have any conversation really at all and not appear to be intruding? However, it may be impossible not to intrude even the slightest.

Sanji's gaze moved a little further, spotting the night table next to the hospital bed, surprisingly not taken over by equipment, only covered in journals. Journals that he instantly recognized. They were Zeff's, ones he distinctly remembered trying to get to before as a kid, but not being allowed - something about being too novice.

"You read the journals?" Sanji had muttered out the words before he'd thought them through fully. His heart refusing to calm, this had to be what people meant when they said someone was walking on eggshells. Any minute he felt like he was going to do something to shatter everything.

Zeff slowly rose. His expression changed, slightly skeptical and he looked over Sanji a second time. "What?"

Shit. A stranger wouldn't know about those journals. Already he was messing this up. Hesitantly, he gestured to the books on the table.

"You know... the journals," he paused awkwardly. "He told me about those once. That you don't share them easily."

Zeff's eyes narrowed. Mentally, Sanji cursed. He had only further dug himself into a hole - even like this, Zeff could see through his bullshit. Why would Sanji ever bring that up in casual conversation with anyone, ever? They were just old recipe journals, they weren't the secret to life.

Sanji didn't get called out on it, however. Zeff just huffed, his expression softening.

"Shitty punk. He didn't deserve hearing them after passing this kind of stunt."

All that Sanji could focus on was how long it had to have taken him to read each one out loud. Had Zeff spent every moment with him, here in his room? It was a strong possibility, the journals weren't the only items in Zeff's possession he'd spotted around. He would never be able to vocally describe just how much he wished he hadn't needed to, considering he never had been there.

Zeff's words were true. Sanji didn't deserve them or his efforts.

"But, he did deserve a rite of passage." Zeff silently moved his hand, patting the leg of Sanji's unconscious body. "The angels won't know what hit their taste buds... once he's up there."

Sanji's laugh was short and sad. Shitty old man, talking about angels and him being in some sort of heaven. It was far from the truth. He wanted so badly to tell him otherwise. Why was this situation so twisted that he couldn't just be honest? He let his chin lower, his eyes staring at something else.

"I'm sure Sanji appreciates it." There was nothing worse than having to refer to himself in third person. "Must feel pretty stupid and sorry right about now."

Zeff's sigh grabbed Sanji's attention. His brows furrowed, sending Sanji a look to make him regret saying something as dumb as that too. What kind of idiot would say that? It was one thing if it was Sanji saying what he felt, but this way he just looked like someone being offensive by assuming.

"Is that so?" It had seemed impossible for Zeff to really look any harder at him, but he had, almost through him in an uncomfortable way. "Did he tell you that too?"

Suddenly, Sanji really envied Zoro's option of being a ghost unseen by anyone. He wanted to see his stepfather, to speak with him, but now he felt despicable. Weird how things worked that way. Sanji stumbled awkwardly to the side when the room's door opened behind him. A doctor was making his way inside, an intern on his tail. Sanji didn't need to read the atmosphere to know what would be happening next.

Except, as infuriating as it was, he couldn't make himself fight it. His eyes were open and watching, his ears listening, yet his body - or rather Zoro's - was being escorted out of the door. It had long closed behind him and he still couldn't get over the fact that that was the last conversation he'd had with Zeff. How was it that in the face of all of this, finally at the core of the issue, Sanji couldn't even muster enough strength to just be straight about it?

Sanji raised his hand to his face, pressing his thumb and finger hard into his temples. Frustrated, he let out a growl, turning back to the door. What was he doing? What was he wasting time about? This was bullshit. He came here to stop this, and dammit, that's what he had to do - there was no thinking about it. He'd done enough of that on the whole damn trip over here. So what if they thought he was crazy, was he really going out like this?

The room's door opened with more force than Sanji meant it to, his face contoured with new found determination. Try and try again. Although, that was a mentality he should have had a bit earlier, considering how fast the doctor was already advancing. The breathing tube had already been removed from his body.

"Wait," Sanji's voice was louder than intended, but showed his urgency, "you can't do this. This... this man is still alive."

The doctor, having been watching since the door's opening caught his attention, glared. "Sir, this is a matter of the family. Please leave now or I will call security."

Like security even phased him right now. Didn't they know whose body he was in? Mother fucking Roronoa Zoro's? Sanji was not leaving until he knew his body would still be taken care of while there was still a chance. He didn't work his ass off and get here just in time for nothing.

"Just listen to me. Plug him back in. Now."

The doctor didn't appear to be in a very listening mood. He continued to remove things from Sanji's unconscious body, sending a gesture to his intern. The intern turned around toward the back wall, reaching to push a button and call the nurses' station. As expected, the floor's security was requested.

Zeff, still at the side of Sanji's body, glowered at Sanji. It was uncomfortable, but Sanji's mentality would live and get over it.

"Who are you?" Zeff wasn't happy, and he had good reason not to be. Some stranger he'd mistaken as a friend of his stepson was causing shit in the last moments. Sanji could only silently apologize. Maybe he would believe him later and understand. "What do you want?"

Sanji shook his head. "I can't explain that right now. You'll just have to trust me."

Zeff groaned at that response, preparing himself a moment before pulling himself to his feet. Damn old man, he shouldn't look as if he'd try and remove Sanji himself. There was a time and a place and he couldn't have been in the right mind to even attempt it.

"Get out."

No, Sanji couldn't do that. He didn't move an inch, not even when security did arrive - a single man moving through the door and waiting for the doctor to point at Sanji. Like hell would Sanji let him take him from his own damn hospital room. The guy could try.

"Alright buddy, this isn't the time or the place."

"Wait- don't you fucking touch me! Zeff!" Sanji jerked as the security man grabbed his arm, trying to escort him out. So much for that plan. Instead, his anxiety turn to anger, his teeth bared as he broke free. There wasn't time for this. "I'm Sanji! Listen to me, you shitty old geezer!"

The guard made a wise crack remark about him being insane, going in to grab him again after he pulled away, successfully getting a hold, turning Sanji's arm painfully back and making him curse. The hospital wasn't the time or place according to them, but they didn't fucking understand. The damn bastards didn't know what they were doing. Sanji resisted anyway though, even toward the door. The guard had only gotten slightly lucky with that opening, his attention focused somewhere else.

"Don't let them do this. Come on Zeff." His eyes were beginning to burn, pleading with his stepfather to listen or even consider his words. "Stop them, we'll figure out another way-"

Being rough housed a bit cut him off, but Sanji still wasn't just letting some asshole drag him away.

To the side, like the bastards they were, the doctor continued the end of Sanji's life procedure he was conducting, making sure his body was no longer attached to any machinery. He turned to the intern he'd brought with him, like this was a normal occurrence, questioning the results.

Quickly, Sanji hooked his ankle around the door frame, grimacing as the door tried to close but was kicked back open by himself while security tried to drag him out, threats of using more force coming his way. That didn't matter. Sanji's eyes never left Zeff. The old man needed to understand. It was Sanji's life on the line.

Zeff's expression after security arrived had been difficult to read, but his silence spoke volumes.

"Don't let them kill me!" Fuck, the guard took his foot off the frame. It didn't matter, Sanji focused his strength to lunge back in and out of his grasp onto the floor. He looked like a damn fool, but it didn't matter. Sanji wanted to live.

"The heart rate is dropping." The intern was a fucking Captain Obvious, that was for sure, the heart monitor beeping frantically. Sanji swore he could feel it.

There was a pressure in his back, the guard having returned enough to hold him down and get a cuff on his hand. Sanji didn't resist, letting the noise of the heart monitor numb him over, his forehead falling against the ground while he cringed.

"Please, Zeff."

The guard physically pulled Sanji up onto his feet, which was amazing the way his body felt like crumbling. They headed toward the door while the heart monitor flat lined. It felt like all of the air had left Sanji's lungs, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't feel anything anymore. Why did this have to happen? Why did he have to die when he'd come so far?

The guard shook his head. "Are you happy now?" He shoved Sanji toward the door, where he stumbled and complied.

The intern began to take off the remaining wires off his now deceased body and pulled them to the side. Sanji looked back at the figure of his stepfather, already looking years older with his silent grief.

"I'm dead." It seemed so weird to say and it didn't help Sanji let out an exasperated laugh when he did. Maybe his sanity had finally shattered. His eyes traveled down. "Zoro, I'm dead."

The Marimo wasn't even around, so he didn't know why he'd said his name. Maybe because it felt so weird, being the only Zoro here, since the only physical part of Sanji was dead. Would Sanji mentally fade away, too? Give space back to Zoro? He closed his eyes tight, letting the guard tug him out by his cuffed hands. It was over.

That's when it happened. It was a wheeze that shifted quickly into a coughing fit. Sanji's eyes darted back up in time. Impossible. It was so impossible. His body - the same body that had just died, lunged forward. Sanji's eyes were so wide, he could only try and move his head in for a glance as the door began to shut. No, why did he stop resisting for even a moment? Who was that- why was his body doing that. Could he be alive? Impossible. How could his body be doing that when he was there, a door now slammed in his face.


	17. Chapter 17

**XVII.**

"Wait!"

Nami had been there the moment the elevator doors opened and the security guard pulled Sanji out to follow him. Sanji was surprised by how quickly she appeared, but ultimately was glad to see her once more.

The security guard pretended not to pay her any mind, until of course she planted herself in his way.

"Officer please, don't take my friend away. Whatever he did, he didn't mean it." She sidestepped when he tried to go around her.

The officer grunted, glaring her down. "He resisted and fought security."

Nami glanced quickly and met Sanji's eyes, then went back to the guard. Like the flip of a switch her demeanor changed. She was now a pitiful, beautiful flower who could do no wrong - which Sanji always believed, but this was how she convinced others, he supposed.

Brave, she lifted her hand and tugged on the officers sleeve, tears coming to her eyes.

"We just lost our friend. He didn't mean it, he's grieving. He flew all night to get here and see him." Her lip quivered, making Sanji slightly uncomfortable and he wanted to kick whatever made her make that expression. Except, it was him and thus would be difficult to do, especially in cuffs.

"You understand, don't you? Please."

The guard seemed conflicted. His eyes scanned Nami down, then he looked over at his prisoner. Sanji must've looked as shitty as he felt, enough so to at least be convincing.

"Please?"

The security guard swore to himself, giving in and fetching the cuff key. He unlatched the damn things from around Sanji's wrists, not before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him near.

"Try any shit like that again and I will arrest you. Just one complaint, I swear."

Sanji nodded just to get the fucker away. Damn, he hadn't needed that kind of wave of bad breath to get the picture. Still, rubbing at his wrists, he couldn't totally hate the guy for doing his job. Certainly not when he apologized for their loss.

The minute the guard left, Sanji turned, finding Nami right beside him, her eyes studying his face. It hasn't changed from earlier, he was still Zoro, but it was normal for her to be suspicious who was inside it. If all things had gone well, it would've been the real Zoro, if not... Then Sanji?

Sanji saved her from having to even ask. Zoro wouldn't really know her, after all. Gently, he took her hand and they moved to a waiting area where they could sit. Both of them undoubtedly had a billion questions without answers.

"You've been practicing your French," Sanji dryly tried talking about anything else, but was ignored, considering the other things at hand.

He expected her response, fully taking the punch to his arm from Nami, who just glared at him.

"Sorry, Nami."

She hissed from the back of her throat. "This isn't the time to be apologizing. You got arrested? What happened up there? Why aren't you changed back?"

"I couldn't change back." Sanji didn't need to feel so defeated over it considering it was out of his control, but he couldn't help it. "It didn't work."

Sanji looked down at his hands, which weren't his of course. He had heard his heart - his real heart - on the monitor die moments ago. What he saw was still fresh in his mind and didn't make a lick of sense. His body had moved, coughing on its own without him nestled inside. Was it still fighting without medical assistance on its own? How long could it even last like that if that were really the case?

Nami rubbed at her eye with her palm. "Shit," she breathed out, the same hand moving to cover her mouth for a minute. "But then shouldn't you be..."

Dead? Nami didn't have to finish her sentence, considering it was something Sanji had been asking himself. He shook his head.

"What will you do, Sanji? How much longer can you stay like this?"

Unfortunately, Sanji didn't have an answer for her, and he felt exposed because of it. He didn't think, at least, there was a time limit on using Zoro's body to live on, even after possible death, it just seemed selfish and parasitic. No offense to the absent asshole, but he didn't want to live Zoro's life for him - Sanji had barely made it this far in it and he wanted one of his very own. For fuck's sake, he was already beginning to wonder if he still remembered how his real voice was supposed to sound.

Sanji mentally fought about telling her what he saw, but he didn't want to get his own or her hopes up. For all he knew, it could have been a side effect of dying and that's why his body had reacted that way in its last moments.

"I'll find another way." What other choice did he have? So plan A didn't work and he didn't instantly change back, that just meant they had to plan another. "There still might be a chance."

"A chance? How?" Nami's brow rose.

"After they took my body off life support, it was definitely still kicking. Idiots can't get rid of me that easily." Sanji grinned at her, watching her lips curve into a small, hopeful smile in return, effectively putting to rest some of his concern.

"Really?" Nami exhaled. "What a relief. Then you would only have to find your way up there after the chaos passes, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

Nami moved a little closer to him. It was surprising that she even would, given the fact Sanji wasn't technically himself at the moment. It was brave. She was understanding and believed him so easily. Sanji couldn't help but wonder what Usopp told her that convinced her so much not to be skeptical at all. He also appreciated it, it was a comfort against his numbness.

"What did Zeff say?" her voice was a bit softer in a polite way as she asked this. She must've worried about much more than she should've been. "Do you think he believed you?"

Sanji's mind went back to his stepfather's face when he had unsuccessfully tried yelling at him about it. The lack of response was very real, he doubted Zeff even entertained the thought. At most, he probably thought Sanji, as Zoro, was nothing more than a mental case who needed a good kick to the head for the disturbance.

The whole thought process gave him goosebumps and, although he appreciated her comfort, Sanji pulled himself to his feet, evading the question. "I'm sorry, Nami. I just remembered I have a bastard I have to go find."

Nami's expression was definitely confused, but she stood up beside him, regardless. "Bastard? You mean the real Zoro? He still didn't show up?"

Sanji scratched at the back of his neck. Probably for the better, he wasn't sure he'd get to live down the humility of not being able to save himself while also living his life stuck with a ghost marimo. He honestly knew he'd never hear the end of it. Still, it was a mystery where he could have run off to, especially given the circumstances. Yeah, they had been fighting, but he didn't think Zoro was that upset to not give... what... ghostly support?

Nami reached out, grabbing a fistful of his shirt, causing Sanji's eyes to widen and undoubtedly give her his full attention. From reading her face, she'd had some sort of eureka moment.

"Sanji! That's it."

Sanji furrowed his brows. He wasn't following what she was getting at. What was it? He let Nami drag him over to the side, towards a decorate mirror on the wall. He slightly cringed at the face in the mirror, the face of an asshole.

"Look in the mirror." Nami reached up, grabbing Sanji by his chin and turning his face to look. "Who are you right now?"

He still didn't get what she was getting at with this, it was pretty obvious who he was right now. He took a deep breath. "A stupid, shitty, Marimo."

Nami nodded, so they agreed on that - but surely that wasn't her exciting trail of thought. Cautiously, he looked back at her. Well, even if she had gone slightly insane from the events going on, she was still beautiful and perfect.

"Now, who do you think that stupid shitty Marimo was supposed to be? Hm?"

Was she trying to insinuate Zoro was supposed to be Sanji? Yeah, that wasn't happening. That's what they had thought and discussed about before, but it didn't make sense. Sanji saw Zoro wherever they both went, Zoro became bodiless, it wasn't a full switch like someone would expect. Life couldn't be too much like Hollywood movies, it seemed.

Bottom line was, if Zoro was supposed to have been in Sanji's body, it would have happened on day one, not now just as they had arrived. He would've been in a coma and then woken up at some point confused, as hell. Unless. Sanji's expression deadpanned and he stared at his Zoro-like reflection in the mirror.

"That... Shitty... Lost..." His eye started twitching. "BASTARD."

That son of a bitch. The moronic moss Neanderthal! It made sense! Nami was fucking right. Zoro's ass vanished the moment they'd stepped into the hospital. This whole damn time hadn't been about Sanji getting back here to change back to his body. He basically, unknowingly, escorted the stupid-dumbass-no-sense-of-direction bastard Marimo to it! This whole time had been because of his horrible sense of direction!

Which, now that he was realizing things, the scene he'd saw earlier in his room - his body going into a fit of coughs and coming back to life - had to be Zoro, right? So Zoro was in his body right then and there, floors above his head. He... Sanji was going to kill him. Well no, as much as he wanted to, he didn't at the same time. Had that jerk saved his life? With whose permission?

"I've got to go," he managed that much out before storming off toward the elevator.

Behind him, staying where she was by the mirror, Nami smiled more genuinely. "Good luck!" She half waved. "Call me if you need bail, okay?"

Sanji was determined after that. He went straight to the elevators, pressing the button to summon one. Anxiously, he looked up at the floor numbers and how they lit, giving away its location. Once more, time wasn't moving fast enough. If Zoro was in his body, it all made sense. It was still fucked up, sure, but it meant his feeling that his body was still alive and fighting was correct. He wasn't dead or doomed yet. It would give them more time to figure out this mess. Damn, to think he'd ever be hopeful of this kind of outcome.

He almost forgot to be polite and step aside from people exiting the elevator when it did arrive, he was so lost in his new found goal. He did stop and hesitate before taking the step inside, meeting the eyes of the one passenger who didn't yet step off.

It was Zeff, unexpectedly. He was standing by the wall of the elevator, equally as perplexed to see him there. Sanji lowered his face, stepping inside. It had to be sudden for the old man, considering he had seen Sanji dragged out by security and now he was going to request to go right back up to the room. Awkward.

Zeff turned to look at him, already moving to press in the floor's number without asking, as if he just knew. His expression was that of many questions, but it didn't seem like he'd be asking any of them just yet and Sanji was thankful for that. He could only take so much humiliation today. Honestly, he was too tired for all of this shit.

"He's asking for you."

Sanji's heart did some type of summersault. If his body was talking on its own, it had to be Zoro inside. God forbid, some other stupid ass stranger was in it. Unless... this wasn't going to be some messed up ending where he was actually Zoro the whole time and he isn't himself? No, there wasn't time to even contemplate that bullshit. He swallowed thickly.

"He's alive?"

Zeff nodded sternly. It explained why, although his eyes were red, they didn't seem to be in anguish. "Maybe you can get through to him."

Sanji's face softened. What did that mean? Damn, was Zoro already being difficult? Well, Sanji didn't exactly expect him to adjust easily like he was forced to, with a green penis and all. Fuck, who knew what kind of things he was going to try and look at. It heated Sanji's face and he quickly slid out when the doors opened.

-0-

Zoro couldn't stop coughing, his throat felt dry as hell. His mind was fuzzy as all get out, his eyes closed tight. What the hell had happened? No, seriously? One minute he's following Sanji, irritated he'd been approaching some chick instead of sticking to the plan and the next thing Zoro knows he felt like this. It felt like he'd been slammed around a few times. Was this what it felt like? Did he get thrown back into his body?

Opening his eyes, trying to stop his coughing fit, he realized quickly that wasn't the case. Certainly not when his eyes caught sight of a door directly across from him, in this room, and he saw his face. Sanji? What was he doing there, with that kind of expression? Was this some kind of messed up dream? Should he reach out to him?

Not that he felt like he could. He was there, but at the same time he wasn't. In the whole time he'd been bodiless, he'd never felt this weak. He couldn't reach forward in time and it wouldn't have mattered. The door slammed closed hard and noise, voices, erupted around him.

The light hurt his eyes, and he squinted, looking around. This was... a hospital room? It had to be, it looked like one and there was a doctor right beside him, his mouth moving a mile a minute. Zoro stared at him, then looked at his lips, trying to understand. He hated how native speakers spoke so fast, how was he supposed to keep up with anything.

"Sanji!"

Another voice sounded on his other side and it grabbed his attention, mostly because the man had said Sanji's name. He was older, and he said something, but it was in French. Everything in French. What a headache, Zoro didn't know any of that. Instinctively he shook his head, moving his hand up to dig at his ear, like that would do any good.

It didn't of course, but with that, something seemed to dawn on him. These people, in this hospital room, could see him. Their eyes were glued onto him and not moving, they were trying to talk to him. It was stupid, but he stared back at them in stunned silence. Well shit. When did this happen?

Slowly, Zoro took the cup another doctor handed him and sipped at the water. At least that was soothing and made sense. Ignoring what was going on around him, he looked down at his hand holding the cup. Shit, why had he been half expecting this kind of thing? They were, of course, not his fingers. They were more slender and held tiny scars that were nothing compared to his.

Actually, now that he seemed to take a moment to ignore everything else, he noticed the curtain of blond hair that fell out from behind his ear to cover his eye. Son of a... this wasn't the freaking plan. He wasn't supposed to end up as Sanji! Sanji was supposed to go back to Sanji, Zoro would be himself, and then they were going to do... things or something. He huffed at it. Really, he didn't expect it to be so long though, or was it because it'd grown out on its own.

Unfortunately for Sanji, the doctor's probably thought he was brain damaged, the way Zoro was refusing to even try responding. It wasn't that he couldn't attempt to - he knew his beginners English, didn't he? He reached past the doctor trying to listen to his chest, pushing him away enough to set his cup down. Then, he had to stretch. Holy fuck, Sanji's body was stiff. Or had he just forgotten what wearing an actual body had felt like?

The doctor and Zeff - Zoro could recognize him now, thinking back to the time Sanji always visited his page on Facebook, it was his dad or something right? - didn't make him stop until Zoro had already tried moving Sanji's legs to the side, fully intending to get up. They held him down and Zoro only hissed. He got it, he looked like a panicky coma guy with stupid eyebrows trying to get up and freak out more, but that wasn't the case.

"No," he finally said firmly. His eyes couldn't help but open up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice escaping his throat, weirdly. That was Sanji's voice? He was finally hearing Sanji's voice. A legit, right from his vocal cords, noise? Well damn. But that would have to wait for later. "Wait."

Surprisingly, the doctor conducting his little exam did stop, looking over to Zeff. Apparently he didn't speak English - something Zoro could relate to once upon a time, but didn't really care about now. Zeff met the guy's glance then looked at Zoro, kind of skeptical. So, maybe even if Zoro had Sanji's voice and tried to use English, it didn't sound exactly right, much like Sanji's awkward Japanese, even with Zoro's vocals.

"My name is Sanji. I'm good." For emphasis he gave a thumbs up. "Good."

Slowly, Zeff found his way back into his chair, staring at Zoro with an uncomfortable look. Luckily though, the doctor seemed to say something and pulled his friend out with him. Considering their vegetable patient just woke up, they were probably fanboying to get some tests done, but Zoro didn't have time for that. Things had just gotten way weird, way fast and if he remembered correctly, had Sanji had him in handcuffs?

He rested his face in his hand and sighed. Great, just great. Then he pulled his hand away to examine it more. Damn, Sanji was pale.

"Sanji," Zeff was using a serious tone, Zoro guessed in a parental way. Zoro looked at him, but it wasn't really working. "You have to rest. You've been in a-"

"Comah," Zoro answered it for him, a slight nod. "Yeah."

Feeling restless, either from Sanji's body's need to finally move or his own relief at being physical, he looked around the room, noticing something reflective nearby. It was childish, and almost fantasy like, but he could make out the warped reflection of Sanji's appearance. This shit was interesting and very weird at the same time. He felt like himself, but obvious was not himself, it was no wonder Sanji had such a weird time adjusting to things. Did this mean Zoro would never feel when they both had to pee again? Wait, what did that mean when he would have to pee?

Honestly, he should've had more self control than to directly look in that area.

"Dammit, eggplant, sit still! You just woke up, but I swear I'll kick some sense into you."

"Oi!" Zoro didn't mean to 'snap' at him, Sanji's voice just didn't easily transfer into a growl, just a banter. In a way it was very fitting. He gestured to himself. "You no kick this face. It's Sanji."

That seemed to tongue tie Zeff and Zoro groaned, because this was annoying already and he wasn't doing it right. Frustrated, he huffed back at the bangs that kept creeping across his face until irritably pulling it back. Then he looked back Zeff.

"You." He pointed, then gestured to the door. "Find Zoro."

Zeff's face was shifting into different shades of red hues. He must've been the type to not necessarily like to be told what to do, certainly not from a little shit he'd been worried about, but Zoro found it hard to remember that. He had a lot more on his mind and plate than to deal with than to wait around playing patient, even if Sanji's arms were a bit scrawny.

"And who the hell is that?" Zeff spat, getting onto his feet, towering over Zoro.

Zoro looked up at him, his face indifferent.  _Who was Zoro?_  How could he not know? Ah, well, his name wasn't world renown yet so he would let it pass for now. But how could he go about explaining himself, or rather Sanji stuck as himself. Damn, now that they were both in separate, physical bodies it was kind of confusing. He thought about it seriously for a minute, thinking about what English vocabulary he knew and could use, but then gave in, opting for something he heard Sanji use in reference to him before.

Zoro pointed to his hair. "Moss."

He could see the change of expression, of understanding, on Zeff's face. Then, how conflicted he seemed. What had Sanji done before Zoro woke up, anyway, to get himself arrested? He could only imagine something drastic, maybe even crazy, but oh well. Zoro needed to see him.

"Alright," Zeff glared. "I'll get him, but you stay still. If the doctors come back, you let them take the tests, you little shit."

Zoro tilted his head slightly, watching as the older man went for the door, muttering something about brain damage? At least that's what Zoro thought he heard and understood, which was a little weird. Maybe Sanji had insulted him before and that's how he knew. Either way, the minute the door closed behind Zeff, Zoro did exactly the opposite of what he'd been asked.

He moved his legs over the side of the bed and slid off, stumbling as he got on his feet. Sanji's body ached, it was stiff as hell from not moving for so long. Zoro wanted to find a mirror. Yeah, he knew what Sanji was supposed to look like and he kind of caught a reflection, but still hadn't had a good look. It wasn't every day he woke up in another person's body, he wanted to experience all the weirdness it had to offer. He also had to pee, but that wasn't as important.

Still, his head was dizzy enough to make him swear. Zoro had to grab onto the edge of the bed, furrowing his brows and taking a deep breath before trying again. He leaned against it to momentarily rest, taking the time to glance down at Sanji's body in a hospital gown. Curiously, he grabbed at it and snapped it back. Sanji was hella lean. No wonder he was stupidly clumsy as Zoro.

Zoro sighed, looking up. In front of him was the window, it's curtains draped back. For some reason, it made his face soften and caught his attention. It was a normal day, nice weather he guessed, but it was different seeing it through Sanji's eyes. For one, was the sky always so blue? Zoro growled, messing his hair with his hand. This was frustrating and the last thing he wanted to be doing was admiring the damn landscape.

He opened the bathroom door, which happened to just be another door in the hospital room, before sliding in and closing it behind him. Zoro stared at the back knob for a second, another breath at his lips as he prepared himself for this. There was a very real possibility Sanji's photos on Facebook had been photoshopped, it was important he prepared himself for anything. Not that anything other than what he saw would be bad.

Actually, who the hell gave a damn. Why would he care? There was absolutely nothing special in seeing what the guy who had been renting out his body, was actually supposed to look like up close and personal. As personal as it could fucking get. Damn. He was stalling. Roronoa Zoro didn't fucking stall, he looked in the mirror like a man. So he didn't pointlessly waste any more time and turned around.

Before he knew it, he was awkwardly close to the mirror, leaning in, staring into eyes that definitely weren't his own. It was so freaky, it gave him goosebumps. Why were they so damn blue? Insane is what it was. Without really realizing it, he was tugging down the skin under his eyes. Sanji's skin was pale too, and Zoro hadn't meant to make a noise of amazement. To an outsider it may have looked stupid, but so up close and personal, the Facebook pictures couldn't have prepared him.

Zoro's fingers moved lower, dragging down his cheeks. He didn't even know what to think. Instead, his eyes flickered up on the reflection, pinpointing something else that held a lot of his curiosity. Well, first he had to move the stupid curtain of hair again – why Sanji felt the need to cover one of his eyes, he'd never understand. Maybe it was a blond thing. Was he allowed to say that? He was technically blond at the moment, something he never considered before in his life.

Regardless, it gave him a better view to what he wanted to see. And alright, maybe he understood the hair style. A small chuckle escaped Zoro, his finger moving to trace at one of his eyebrows. They both curled in one direction, so weird. Did Sanji think he was cool doing something like that? But it had to be natural, it wouldn't have stayed like that the whole time his body was in a coma if it weren't naturally that way. If Sanji knew he was looking at them so closely like this, he probably would've thrown a fit, considering the way he never let Zoro look more than a few seconds at any Facebook photos. What didn't Sanji want Zoro to see by doing that, that he might actually be an interesting person?

Zoro grunted softly. Well, he could picture Sanji being a bit vain about appearances, but if it was some kind of self-conscious thing… meh. Who had time for that? He stopped tracing and abusing them to step back and take the whole sight of Sanji in the mirror. He analyzed the reflection, but gave in. Honestly, he wasn't sure if Sanji always had such an annoyed expression or was that something he himself brought to the table? That, though, would have to be a question answered when they were their rightful selves again, he supposed. But for now, both of them being physical and alive was something.

He pondered a few more stupid things, maybe even things he shouldn't have been pondering, before an unusual huge wave of déjà vu hit him. Something about this was familiar, yet definitely different. Shit, that's right, he'd almost forgotten. Silently, Zoro looked at the toilet. He had to piss.

Zoro would've laughed, but how strange was it that waking up in someone's body and having to take a leak seemed to be tradition? It's not like he could help it, he was sort of responsible for Sanji's body, right? Besides, he could vividly remember day one when Sanji visually molested his body with his eyes. Zoro wasn't above getting revenge in certain circumstances and really, it was better to go ahead and get this out of the way. It was important information too, things he should be conscious of – if the carpet matched the drapes. Least that was the piss poor reason he was sticking to.

He walked shamelessly to the toilet, fiddling with the gown a bit. He wasn't sure what he was expecting when he saw Sanji's briefs, though. Maybe the classic heart pattern or something? Nope, instead he was wearing shitty Superman briefs – a dark navy with red on the hems. Zoro even turned to check and see on the ass, a Superman symbol. Traitor. Ignoring the slight betrayal, not that he really cared, he pulled them down to get to it.

Zoro's face grew hot and he moved his head back, barking out in laughter. Hearing Sanji's voice laugh, like actually hearing him there, only fueled it. This was hilarious. Curls, really, even down there. On the ladies man's decently sized man. Everything was messed up and, yeah, he should be pissed his life got interrupted and he wasn't back home trying to fix everything, but this was actually kind of amusing. Now if only he had a camera phone for blackmail.

Finished up, Zoro washed his hands and left the restroom, heading back toward the hospital bed. Zeff, hopefully, would go get Sanji back, so until then, Zoro would be kind of obedient. He wanted to do whatever he wanted to, of course, but when he thought about it seriously, about how Sanji's body must've suffered during the time it was uninhabited, tests and things might be needed.

He laid across the bed, resting on his side, and looked down more closely at Sanji's hands and the scars there while he waited for the door to open again. When it did, he couldn't help but smirk, looking toward the door.

"Yo," Sanji's voice was great for acting smug, which was a plus. "Eyebrows."


	18. Chapter 18

**XVIII.**

Sanji honestly felt a wash of relief at first when he walked through the door and saw his body alive and well, no longer stuck to the bed with wires going in every possible way. Truly he did, for like, maybe half a moment. Then the burning annoyance returned, easily awakened by the sight before him.

Could it have screamed lazy ass Zoro more than this? The bastard was carelessly sprawled out across the hospital bed, not even paying attention to the gown that was tucked awkwardly and was riding up high enough to show off Sanji's body's ass and Superman briefs.

Was he really that mentally lost with his sense of direction or did he really face him that way on purpose, flashing him half way with his own ass. The way Zoro had turned his body to look over at him and actually speak out - Sanji too focused in hate to really listen - confirmed to him that he was really just that infuriating.

While Zoro completely turned over to face him, sitting up in the bed and pulling his hair back, Sanji slowly approached, an odd twitch in his hand.

Sanjj wanted to kill him, wanted to strangle that ghost idiot out of his body himself. But he had to keep reminding himself why that apparently wasn't a good option. The small good part of his conscious working overtime pleaded some kind of nonsense about it still being his body, remember how awful it felt when you thought it died! Suddenly that didn't seem so important anymore.

Sanji must've considered it at the least however, opting to just instinctively grab Zoro's stupid face between his hands as he smushed his cheeks.

"You stupid, lost, son of a bitch!" Sanji growled, trying to enjoy it like some sort of revenge replacement. "Who the hell gave you permission to go in there, huh? We didn't travel all the way to France for you to steal-"

"Tch, shit cook! No steal shit!" Zoro blurted out before he could finish, his hands moving to shove Sanji's away. "Weak cook anyway!"

Sanji clenched his teeth. Asshole had no room to call him weak, he didn't even know the full extent of what Sanji could do. It was just hard to show when he didn't have his own strength, or like other normal people, his body couldn't withstand hibernation.

Without thinking, Sanji pushed the idiot down, leaning in closer.

"Don't even lie. You would've done anything to have shitty thumbs again, even if it meant stealing my body."

Zoro narrowed his eyes, huffing. He lifted his head, coming in a little closer to retaliate. "Thumbs," he repeated. "And shit eyebrows."

Both of them were forcing against one another, Sanji trying to keep Zoro down while he tried to raise himself and Zoro trying to push Sanji back, as if that would mark a winner.

Sanji hissed. "You'll regret saying that kind of shit later, Marimo."

Zoro didn't seem to heed the warning at all. Instead he smirked, easing a hand up to point at his lips. "Your voice." This was true, what was his fucking point? What was he getting at? "I love yaoi."

The whole thing gave Sanji chills. Especially the way Zoro rolled his tongue on the word 'love'. Zoro didn't need to explain himself, Sanji knew what he was threatening to do. Like hell Sanji would let him go around saying that. The bastard, manipulating his voice was a different level of combat that was so many levels of not right, despite if Sanji didn't have room to talk. But still, to be saying the damn thing right in his face!

Wait. Sanji blinked, most of his anger gone. He mentally reversed a few paces. Right in his face? The situation slowly began to dawn on him, especially how it was beginning to appear. Zoro, the idiot who had only just been some kind of ghost that made him think and feel unspeakable things, was now a physical human being again for the first time. He was also now very close, even if in Sanji's body, and pinned  _under_  him. The first time they were actually legitimately face to face. The first time... They ever touched and Sanji was literally on top of him. Why the fuck did that stupid porn DVD come to mind?!

Sanji was frozen in place, his face quickly heating. He watched, mortified as Zoro's expression changed like he tried to understand, even turning his head slightly like it would give him a clue. Then, it was like his mind had finally tapped into Sanji's thought process.

Wasting absolutely no time, Sanji jumped back onto his feet, clearing his throat. That was a close one. But wait, why was it a close one? Wasn't this kind of stupid? What was he so freaked out about? After all, it was still kind of his body, it wasn't weird it was his, Zoro was just a ghost intruding on his territory by being inside it. Staying and not paying rent. Shit, though. When they talked about France before, it wasn't supposed to go like this. Out of all the times Zoro's body behaved for him, why wouldn't it's face cool down for Sanji?

Zoro sat back up, frustrated as he moved bangs out of his face once more. Then he met Sanji's eyes.

"Oi, cook-"

"S-should I come back at a later time?" A tiny voice interrupted them, belonging to a sweet nurse, whose wide eyes hinted she might have seen all of that. Her face was definitely red.

Hearing her French pulled Sanji out of his flustered thoughts temporarily, looking away from Zoro's confused face - no doubt not understanding - to the nurse. He swallowed thickly as he could feel Zoro staring at him, waiting or watching for explanation. Idiot, why didn't he realize he wasn't a ghost anymore, staring at him so intently like that wasn't actually weird in public?

"No," Sanji cleared his throat again before answering in the same language, looking at the tray of supplies she brought with her. It had to be because his body woke up randomly on its own with no real explanation that they wanted to run some tests. "Please, carry on."

The nurse nodded to him before making her way over to Zoro, who glared her down rudely. It ticked Sanji off, who the hell did he think he was, acting like that in front of a lady in his body? Most likely he was confused about what she was doing, but even still. When Zoro looked back over, Sanji sent him a warning with his expression.

"Be good," he returned to their middle ground, English. But why did he feel like he was talking to an animal? Oh, right, it was Zoro.

In Sanji's defense, Zoro looked like he could possibly snarl, but behaved for the time being. Even when she got the needle out. Or maybe not, he seemed to adjust how he sat a little bit. Zoro was scared of needles? No, that was just uncharacteristic. If anything, Sanji was sure, he was just his normal grumpy self, displeased at having to do anything like this medical shit.

Sanji moved in closer to the bed again, hovering this time and not pinning anyone down. He narrowed his eyes.

"Sit still, idiot, let the lady do her job."

Zoro raised his eyebrow at him, looking him down and making Sanji slightly self conscious. What? He couldn't stand here now? What was he doing wrong? Nothing, that's what. Still, Zoro jabbed a finger in his direction then the chair at the bedside.

" _You_  sit."

Even the nurse was looking up at him after that. Retreating, Sanji slowly moved back and sat in the chair. Okay, so maybe in this scenario he looked like an overbearing person who had been caught pinning Zoro down. Whatever, didn't bother him, he just wanted to make sure the blood got drawn, it was his body too. It needed to be in perfect condition when he returned to it.

The chair was actually pretty comfortable, in a surprising way. Sanji sunk down into it more comfortably, letting out a deep breath and resting his eyes. Damn, it'd set something off inside him, because then he couldn't stop yawning, despite how hard he tried. Between extraordinarily long blinks, he watched Zoro get his blood drawn, the nurse leave - he managed to awkwardly wave to her goodbye - then suddenly, Zoro was sitting on the bedside. He was leaning in close, staring at his face.

It pulled Sanji out of his state of comfort and his eyes widened. "What?" He sat up a little straighter, rubbing at his face as if he'd find something on there. "Don't stare like that, it's weird as fuck."

Zoro didn't seem amused, or at least not with Sanji's body's face. "Sleep."

Sanji shook his head. "I'm not sleepy."

It seemed that Zoro didn't need their weird sensual spirit link to see through that bullshit. Okay, so maybe Sanji hadn't even slept or rested a single moment since being fired at the host club and being saved by Robin with the plane tickets. It wasn't his fault, he was surprised he was even able to breathe during it all. He'd been too distracted through all of that, but now that he saw his body was alive, Zoro was actually alive, they were in France and he wasn't being arrested, the sleep he'd put off was starting to come full force.

Could Sanji really just kick it back and rest here, though? As nice as it would be, he knew he wasn't imagining the vibe earlier with Zeff that his invitation to visit would only be temporary.

Maybe if he thought about other things, he'd stay awake? Sanji wasn't ready to let go of this relief just yet so that fate could throw more shit at them.

"Oi, Marimo. About all of this. About what I said earlier..." Sanji massaged at his temples. Why did he think going to this conversation would be better than a nap? Too late, he'd already started this, he had to follow through, somehow. "Thank you. For being a shitty lost bastard."

Zoro smirked. "Stupid. We in France now."

Sanji's heart sank. Ah, haha, yeah, in France. Why was he saying it like that! Like, because they were here, it was all alright? What exactly did his stupid brain think that meant exactly? Sanji was under the impression 'when they got to France' really meant that, when they were normal, they might explore possibilities or see if things were legit, not automatic. It was too weird, even being near Zoro in a physical body, let alone even exploring that trail of thought. It was a good thing Zoro couldn't sense his thoughts anymore, Sanji just kept being thankful for that.

"Is that all you think about?" Sanji's eyes flickered away while his teeth grazed his lip. "Bastard, I'll have you know there are no porn DVDs in France." At least not in his DVD player.

He wasn't sure if Zoro would have a retort or not, their conversation being interrupted by the opening of the room's door. Sanji felt stupid, but somehow his first reaction was to fall limp back into the chair and fake sleeping again, already knowing who it had to be to come in. It didn't mean he wouldn't listen anyway.

Sanji heard the footsteps come in close, but not too close, stopping by where he believed to be a table. Zeff had left his jacket there, he'd noticed. Was he intending to leave? Had Zoro said something especially disrespectful to him, because if he did, Sanji would kill him. Surprisingly, Sanji didn't hear any movement on the bed, which was also annoying. So now it just looked like Zoro was him, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at some sleeping guy Zeff must've already had weird impressions about.

The footsteps almost got back to the door before they stopped. Then, Zeff actually speaks, giving Sanji a chill.

"Sanji." Damn that parental voice. "Who is this guy?"

Sanji clenched his jaw. If Zoro said Batman or Superman or whateverman, he swore he was going to lose it.

"It's not like you not to introduce your friends."

Sanji carefully swallowed a lump in his throat, still trying to play the part of sleeping beauty. Would Zoro even understand it all enough to really reply, would he just stare him down? Now he regretted acting asleep, he wanted to freaking watch.

"Boyfriend." Just from his tone of voice, Sanji could picture the deadpan on Zoro's face. Internally, he died.

Out of all the things he could've said - shit, he could've gone back to babbling shit about France and looking like he was crazy, for fuck's sake. But to say Sanji was his boyfriend right in front of Zeff? Never in his life had Sanji ever even suggested to his old man that he liked men. Sanji swore inside of his mind to himself, next time he was meeting Zoro's parents and fucking shit up for him.

"Oh." Zeff... didn't sound as surprised as Sanji expected. What the fuck did that mean? Oi! Hey! Damn, why were his eyes so heavy and accepting of this 'fake resting'. "I'll be going to check on the Baratie, then. Be back."

Zoro replied to him in a low grunt of understanding. Sanji was dying to move, waiting only until the door opened and closed to spring to life. He didn't even flinch, getting right onto his feet and snatching one of the pillows from the bed to whack it across a bastard's face. It was effective and it wouldn't kill his body, so win-win. Still, if only there was a picture, seeing Zoro's body starting a pillow fight was something for the photo album.

Actually, screw it, if Sanji's body died, that would be okay. He went in for full smothering. There would always be hair dye and a chance to live under cover if he couldn't live as himself, it would be a great life to know that he got to take out this bastard.

Of course, never knowing when to just lay down and die, Zoro had his hands up against the pillow keeping Sanji from accomplishing his dreams. It didn't help he was actually enjoying this, so much so Sanji couldn't even properly be mad - it was hard to stay angry at his own damn face so happy like that, alright? Frustrated, Sanji gave up and plopped back down into his seat.

"What the hell was that?" he muttered to himself.

Zoro shrugged. "You no say no."

Sanji let out a dry laugh. Like he had to even say no to that out loud! It should... totally have just been known or something... Fuck it. He was too tired for this shit. Sanji tucked the stolen pillow under his head and closed his eyes.

"I'm going to sleep."

-0-

Sanji stirred from his sleep when something kicked at his ankle, prompting him to sit up in his chair. He growled lowly, rubbing at his eyes, before opening them and taking in his surroundings. It was still the hospital room as he'd left it when he decided to nap - but the light coming in from the window wasn't that of the sun, but the moon. He'd slept so long that the rest of the day had passed and now, he could see, Zoro was a lump under some covers on the bed asleep himself.

Damn, Sanji had really been tired. Still, if Zoro was asleep, it meant he hadn't woken him. He glanced to his side, hesitating when he noticed the figure in the corner of his eye before giving him a solid look. It was Zeff, looking down at him with an unreadable expression. Still, feeling like he was in some sort of deep trouble, it made Sanji nervous.

"You." Zeff's voice was a low whisper. "Visiting hours are over."

Ah, so that was it. Old geezer wanted his damn chair back. Even if that wasn't the case, Sanji wasn't a direct family visitor at the moment so it was only right he leave. It just sucked, he was still tired and he didn't want to leave Zoro alone in a body he wasn't supposed to be in. It was the least he could do to return the favor, since Zoro - whether because he had to or not - didn't ditch him until at least the second day.

Sanji nodded, not willing to break the silence and stir up a fight. Carefully, he pulled himself out of the chair and walked past his stepfather and toward the door. He wasn't really sure where he would go just yet, Robin had anticipated the same ending they had that wasn't true so hotels weren't part of the package.

What he doesn't expect is that the door doesn't shut behind him when he leaves, it opens once more and Zeff follows him out. Of course, Sanji doesn't make it obvious he knows he's following him by whipping his head back to stare or anything, he silently moves forward. Somewhere deep in his gut, he suspected this kind of confrontation would happen between the two of them - after all, Sanji seemingly had a break down during an important time and now he was apparently his own boyfriend.

It'd be alright, though, he was positive. Sanji had enough rest that allowed him to be at least half the way sane in order to think straight. So he didn't let the silent elevator ride down bother him, or the walk nearly side by side until they reached the parking lot. In fact, he was more than willing to stop a few paces onto the pavement when Zeff did the same. Sanji even willingly turned around to face him, spotting the way his old man was ready to talk, drilling his eyes into him and studying his every move.

Zeff rolled his shoulders back. If Sanji knew him, which he did, he probably wasn't proud of what he was doing - tracking someone down to question them in the parking lot because of some kind of doubt. But Sanji would be patient with him.

"What did you mean by what you said earlier?" The first question was crisp and to the point, which was for the better. It was dangerous to slowly lead into things with parental figures, too much accidental information usually found its way out.

Sanji shrugged. As much as he didn't want to be, he was still stuck in Zoro's body, which meant when he wasn't panicking about his own body being dead, he had to act like someone else. That was the only real way to avoid more problems or misunderstandings. He'd said it to himself before and he'd say it again, he wasn't sure he wanted to enter the territory of trying to explain to Zeff what had happened. Mostly, he wasn't sure he wanted to attempt to face the rejection.

"That was nothing," he said flatly, trying his best to look disinterested. "I panicked. Why wouldn't I say anything if it could make them stop?"

Apparently that wasn't the answer Zeff was looking for. Anger flashed across his face, but he was a master at staying composed.

"I may be old, but I'm not stupid, moss ball." Ow, so that's what it felt to be called that. At least when Sanji used it, it became a Marimo joke, maybe even a sign of affection- "I can tell something isn't adding up around here. Start talking, I want an explanation."

For some reason, that hit Sanji weird. Without thinking it through, he couldn't help but dryly laugh and shake his head.

"No, you really don't," he assures. It would be a lost cause to try. "At the stake of sounding very cliché, you wouldn't believe me anyway."

Zeff exhaled across from him. He didn't take not getting answers well. He crossed his arms across his chest and his eyes were judging so fiercely.

"Then that would just make you a shit story teller, wouldn't it?" It was like a shitty challenge.

Sanji clenched his teeth, trying to resist not biting on to such obvious bait. It was futile.

"It's not about being a shitty story teller," he snapped, "it's some damn old geezer who is stubborn as hell."

In the beginning of his rant, Sanji's words held fire, but by the end of it the fire had dwindled, the fact he'd fallen for the trick weighing down on him. Dammit, humiliating, he was supposed to act cool and indifferent about all of this and now he just basically admitted there was a lot more to be said. If he wasn't careful, Zeff would undoubtedly try and weasel that out of him too, wouldn't he? So should he just spit it all out and to hell with it even if Zeff didn't believe it? Maybe that was his only option now, even if he didn't know how the hell to even attempt going about it.

"Try."

Fine. Sanji ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes scanning a bunch of different things. He decided to himself he wouldn't outright make a fool of himself trying to say he was Sanji again. That hadn't done any good earlier that day. No, instead he would try a different approach and start from the beginning, whether Zeff wanted to hear all of it or not.

"The day before everything happened, you two got in a fight. It was something stupid and pointless and you were right that he was thinking about it too much in his head. He had just felt like he wasn't getting anywhere, even back home at the Baratie, but truth was, he didn't allow himself to try anything new and..." Sanji took a deep breath, his eyes fixated on the ground. It was surprisingly easier to get it all out when he wasn't referring to himself. "So Sanji got in his car and raced off too fast and angry, being a dumbass and not caring what happened next because he was stupid as hell."

For a minute he's distracted, there doesn't seem to be a good place to store his stupid hands because all he wants to do is explain further and make shitty ass gestures. He opts for across his own chest, unconsciously mimicking his stepfather's stance. This time, when Sanji continues, his voice a little lower.

"Next thing he knows, Sanji wakes up and he's not even himself anymore or living anywhere near home. He's in fucking Japan of all places, in the body of some guy he's never met or seen before in his life who can barely make his own rent. Then, to make matters even worse for him, because it's not a lesson enough to wake up with a face that makes babies cry, the guy didn't even leave, he's still haunting Sanji with selective English. And annoying Batman references."

Is he saying too much? Sanji wasn't even sure, but at this point, why was there a need to even stop? Might as well put it all on the table.

"Sanji's ashamed, he's regretting everything, but he's hopeful and determined. Stupid idiot thinks if he could just get back home, it would all work out, even works and raises money for it. Then, when he had enough he would just waltz into the shitty hospital room and turn back to normal and live his life again."

Sanji hesitantly looks up, enough to see Zeff staring at him, still very unresponsive. It's enough to have him quickly look away again.

"But when Sanji went to that stupid hospital, nothing happened. It didn't work, so all he could think of was how he was going to die. And then, of all the damn things that could happen, the annoying ghost guy saves the day and takes his place. Making it a full switch between the two of them. They are now mismatched and stuck like this until who knows when so that's your explanation."

Still, there was nothing but silence. Sanji couldn't help but wonder how much Zeff wanted to grab him and throw him in a psych ward right about now, it had to sound like the craziest shit he'd ever heard. Dammit, this is why he hadn't initially wanted to do it!

But man, telling that stuff, letting it all out to his father figure was anything but easy. He didn't think he'd have the problem since Zoro's body seemed to be dull as a rock, but like a kid, he was fighting the urge to break. What more could he even say to make Zeff believe him? He looked back up at his stepfather, his expression more stern.

"Would you rather I tell you the story about mom instead? Or maybe the ship wreck-"

"No," Zeff lifted up his hand finally, signaling Sanji to stop. He also found it in himself to break off the stare. "There's no need. This is a lot to try and understand. A ghost guy? Son, are you high?"

Sanji wasn't going to lie, his facade was shattering. He let out a sad laugh, lowering his head. Useless, again he'd made a fool of himself and it was for nothing. At least Zoro was asleep somewhere and hadn't seen that mess. At least Zeff wasn't angry anymore with the response, it meant he believed Sanji believed what he said. He wasn't kicking him either, which was also good. Craving something optimistic, Sanji took that as a good thing.

"If that is what happened and you are..." Zeff paused, "If Sanji was in that kind of trouble, why didn't he just call home?"

Maybe Sanji was taking it out of context or just really sincerely hoping, but he couldn't help but think Zeff purposely changed to speaking third person about it for him to let him know even the slightest he was trying to follow and understood to a certain point what it was Sanji was trying to convey without outright claiming it. However, Sanji should've expected this question, he'd heard it before from Usopp, of course, anyone had a right to ask it.

It'd be easier to answer if Sanji wasn't such a sucker for when Zeff did little subtle parenting things like that, that showed he cared. It was even worse when he was already feeling like he had to stand up to him. Sanji had a hard time controlling the mild quiver on his bottom lip, but he wasn't going to drop on his knees saying shit yet.

"Shitty Geezer. You know why and have said it yourself. If a man digs himself into a hole, he has to climb out of it." Slowly, Sanji unraveled his arms, letting them fall back down to his sides. "Besides... even if it was crazy as hell and selfish on my part, I don't totally regret trying it out. It gave me perspective."

Silence again and Sanji noticed he'd accidentally changed the playing field. He was now referring to himself as being Sanji once more, instead of disassociating himself as him. Still, he stared ahead at his stepfather with a resolve.

"I don't expect you to believe me, it's why I didn't say shit. I also don't know how long I'm going to be stuck like this, old man. But now that I know my body is alright, I'll pay back its debts."

"Idiot," Zeff curled his lips back in a growl, like something Sanji had said hit a nerve unintentionally. "It's not about the finances."

Slowly, Zeff unfolded his arms and let them drop back to his sides, his eyes never leaving Sanji. His tone dropped back to how it was before, softer. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, but I'm a skeptical person. I can't just believe some kind of story like that right away."

Sanji watched as his stepfather took a very long and deep breath. "But I will tell you, it didn't take me longer than five minutes to notice things are jumbled. If that moron upstairs says 'bonjour' again, I'm going to kill him."

Sanji couldn't help but huff out a laugh at that. He knew too well how badly Zoro was at saying that particular greeting and could only imagine how he butchered it in his voice. But given this was still a serious moment, and Zeff wasn't entirely believing him yet, Sanji focused himself to remain composed with a light smile. At least he wasn't pointing him in the direction of the looney bin just yet, so he had that going for him.

"If you two shit heads want to play a body version of musical chairs, I don't care. As long as everyone stays alive, that's what really should matter," Zeff continued, finally lowering his gaze away from Sanji. "And if it stays this way... well, maybe you'll make a believer outta me yet."

Zeff's words were kind of awkward, just because his intentions were genuine and parental didn't mean he was the best at making them vocal when he needed to. Still, it raised Sanji's spirits. Really, there wasn't much else he wanted to do that wasn't to convince Zeff what was happening, to get him to understand. Overwhelming him by constantly trying to prove it wouldn't be what Sanji wanted, either. Besides, if he could earn that trust and belief from Zeff, he could really introduce Zoro to his old man. The real Zoro, not the 'little shit being an awful rendition of Sanji' Zoro.

Sanji nodded, understanding what had just been said to him. Then he slightly turned, prepared to walk. It wasn't that he didn't like speaking to his old man again and all that jazz, he wasn't sure what else would be asked and if he'd be in the right mindset to answer it. Zeff seemed to pick up on it, so Sanji took an opportunity while he could. He wasn't raised in a barn, after all.

"Thanks." He evaded his eyes. "For hearing me out."

"Where will you go?"

Ah, shit, Sanji had kind of mentioned he was a foreigner at the moment, hadn't he? So of course the easy assumption would be he didn't have a place to stay after rushing here. Well, he couldn't let Zeff find out he was that unprepared, that was just unprofessional. Then again, he couldn't lie either and make up something on the spot, it would be obvious he was making shit up. Damn.

Instead, Sanji just smiled. Seemed like the thing to do to answer Zeff and maybe, if he needed it, dismiss concerns. "I'll be back. Probably tomorrow morning. You won't be able to make him do much without me."

"Is that so? I'll take your word for it."


	19. Chapter 19

**XIX.**

Nami shook her head. Really, it hadn't even been five solid minutes since she'd open the door to let Sanji inside that he'd passed out on the extra bed in her hotel room. At least it wasn't him cashing in on her offer to pay bail. She finished locking the hotel room, cradling a phone between her chin and shoulder. Damn Usopp, keeping her on hold while he finished some sort of emergency that required both hands. Nami rolled her eyes, going to sit on the edge of her own bed. She was so sure that was the case.

"Sorry, I'm back. I had a problem with the ramen noodles- I mean the emergency."

"I knew it!" Nami piped up, but not too loudly, still at a whisper not to wake her guest. "Usopp, your damn instant ramen noodles aren't an emergency."

There was a characteristically Usopp whine on the other end of the line. "Namiiiiii. You just don't understand! It's Japanese instant ramen noodles!  _From Japan_!"

Usually, Nami wouldn't try to smile too much at Usopp's evident dorkiness, not wanting to openly encourage it sometimes, but she couldn't help it - even while listening to soft slurps.

"So," Usopp spoke again, eating along the way, "did Sanji show up yet?"

Nami glanced over at her visitor, who may or may not have been drooling at that point. Sanji was knocked out, it was an interesting sight to see. Then again, it was interesting to see this appearance and call it Sanji as well. Still, Nami had imagined something differently when he arrived. After all, Sanji was a huge dork as well, especially when it came to women, and he didn't even freak out once when he came in. Just asked which bed, collapsed and slept, not even bothering to pull back the covers.

She let out a hum in response. "Yeah, came right in and fell asleep. It's so strange, did he sleep a lot in Japan?"

Usopp started a reply, some sort of story about that exact thing, but Nami only half paid attention. Now that she saw how weird it was that Sanji came in with little to say, she couldn't help her curiosity. Things had been happening way too fast earlier to even investigate, so now was her chance. Carefully, she slid off the side of her bed and moved in closer to look at his face.

So unlike Sanji. When his eyes were closed and his face relaxed, it was hard to imagine him there, unlike when he'd been awake and worrisome before. Nami had definitely recognized him then.

"How sure are we this is Sanji, again?"

"Trust me, Nami. I know it's him. Just don't go asking him why! He's... just been through a lot." Nami rolled her eyes. What that actually meant was 'don't pry for the blackmail that made me believe'.

Nami did trust that it was Sanji, and believed it strongly herself even if she didn't get to interrogate him like she initially had wanted to. If she didn't trust him, why on earth would she be letting a strange guy into her room to sleep? Deep down, Nami knew the truth and if she was wrong, which she hardly was, she could defend herself.

"Are things still the same there?" Usopp was quick to change the subject on the hottest topic between them.

"Yeah." Nami returned back to her bed, crawling up on it this time and sliding under the covers. Since Sanji's call had been late in the evening, she was ready for sleep by the time he arrived. "They're both fine, just tired and in major debt, I think."

Usopp sighed on the other end and Nami could hear him put down his eating utensil. "I can't even imagine that scary Zoro guy in Sanji's body."

Nami turned to glance at the phone. Scary guy? How did Usopp even know that, hadn't he said he'd been more like a ghost? Besides, Nami had nothing to say about that. She saw Sanji like this, but she hadn't been in to see the Zoro guy in Sanji's body. It didn't feel like the time or place to meet him.

"I don't know about that but... Sanji really seems to have changed a bit, hasn't he?" She was hopeful that in her tone Usopp understood she didn't mean that in a bad way. Somehow, she felt like she'd seen him changing just over the course of what had happened that day. Not only about himself, when had she seen him so fired up about another person that wasn't a lady?

"I think they'll be okay, the two of them. It might be time for me to fly back."

Usopp agreed under his breath. "Those two will work stuff out and get back to us. I still have to call and fill in Robin, though."

"Robin?" Nami's curiosity said the name before she could even remember who she was. Oh, the lady Usopp had met in Japan that had been extra helpful. "Wait, I know, the one who bought the ticket."

She pondered over that, wondering why some strange woman would pay good money out of pocket to a stranger, but wasn't complaining. She wished that one day she could be so generous, if she were rich enough.

Her and Usopp said their goodbyes and Nami settled her cell phone on the nightstand between the two beds. Sanji was still sleeping away like a rock. He would be okay if she left, right? The main risk was over, but they had so much personal stuff they needed to manage, she could just be in the way. Besides, when did Sanji ever not call - besides when he thought no one would believe him? Nami sat up only enough to turn off the lamp. If there was anyone who would be able to handle all this shit storm, it would be Sanji, she was confident. She could only wish them the best.

-0-

Sanji took a few deep breaths, preparing himself outside the hospital room's door. He felt tremendously better and rested, especially since it was the first morning he hadn't woke up to a Marimo face. It was a small victory, but all the same a reminder he wanted his own back, preferably soon. He moved his hand away from the door's handle, opting not to open it just yet, but to straighten at his clothes instead.

It was pretty silly that he even gave a damn, it was reasonable he was still wearing the same clothes he had been the last who knew how many days, but he felt gross still. He longed to wear his old clothes now that he was almost home, but with his luck, Zoro's body would rip out all their stitches. Damn bastard. So that left him no choice but to try to look nice with what he did have.

Sanji moved his other hand up to his head next, fixing his hair. He ran his fingers through it, but hesitated, rolling a strand between his fingers while he stared right ahead at the door. This was stupid, wasn't it? Worrying about something like that. Besides, who was it he was even trying to look good for? Sure as hell wasn't the Marimo-

"Oi." Sanji's eyes widened, the door swinging open.

Zoro's eyes were just as surprised, having not expected him to be right there, it seemed. Sanji internally cringed at the way his eyebrows rose. This was bad. For one, they weren't very far apart from being eye to eye. Then there was the stupid fact that Sanji wanting to help his appearance, however hard that was with such an ugly mug, only looked like he was trying to freshen up before visiting the idiot in the doorway right about now.

Sanji dropped his hands, his jaw slacking slightly as he stumbled on words. That was most certainly not the damn case here! The real Marimo could shove his fantasies elsewhere. Sanji was not even about to start this crap so early in the morning.

Surprisingly, Zoro skipped the opportunity. Instead he gave Sanji a once over then looked back to his face.

"Where you go?"

What? Had he actually been concerned? Well, his body had kind of gone missing in action in the middle of the night while Zoro was sleeping, didn't it? That, and Zoro would've been the one other person to really know he didn't have a place in France to stay. Sanji supposed he could understand, with Zeff there, he couldn't really let him know, but there wasn't a real need to be concerned or go into explanation about it. Instead, Sanji pushed past him into the room, sending Zoro a look he hoped he'd understand as reassurance not to worry about it.

Sanji got to the bed before turning around and watching Zoro follow. Zoro didn't seem to have dropped his question yet, but he didn't repeat it either.

"So what did the doctors say this morning, do you know? How much longer are they going to try keeping you here?" It wasn't a joke when Sanji said 'try', he doubted Zoro was one to be contained for very long.

It made Zoro snort, since he seemed to have a similar thought. He didn't go into some long awkward choppy English explanation however, only gesturing to a note left on the night table. Sanji furrowed his brows at it, walking over and picking it up, recognizing the script and French instinctively.

It was from Zeff, he'd read letters like this all his life, why the old man just wouldn't convert to text messaging fully, he didn't understand - not that his phone wasn't disconnected now, thanks to Sanji or anything. In the seconds he spent giving it a glance over, not reading it yet, Zoro had already moved closer and back to sprawling himself indecently across the bed.

"Paint me, French girl."

Sanji glowered. Hell to the no. That should never have ever been said out of his mouth, in his voice, in the entire history of existence. Especially when Zoro couldn't even say it right.

"It's  _paint me like one of your French girls_ , asshole," Sanji snapped, before joining him on the bed, shoving Zoro off his side onto his back so he could better focus.

Zoro muttered it again to himself grumpily, still not getting it exactly right, but close enough for himself. It gave Sanji enough of a window to focus back on the note and actually read it and find out what was happening. Still, he can't help but be curious about it. If Zeff knew the current 'Sanji' wasn't understanding French very well, did he write it this way intentionally so that only Sanji could understand?

In summary, because Sanji ended up skimming through most of it, it said that Zeff was away talking to some billing people. That alone made Sanji feel a little uncomfortable, not able to even imagine the full extent of how that had to be going. Zeff went on to share that the test results came back good and healthy, which was a relief. His body was out of danger. So the only disease Sanji had was moss syndrome, then?

Then, Sanji smiled. "Hey dumbass." He turned, catching Zoro pressing a pillow against his face. Who knew he'd be even more bored in Sanji's body than as a stupid ghost. Sanji was almost offended. "You get to leave, get up."

He could finally go back home. Or well... Zoro could, which was the next best thing. They didn't both need to be out of a place at the moment. Sanji pulled himself out of the hospital bed, shoving the note in his pocket before going on a scavenger hunt. If they were getting discharged, that meant somewhere around here were the things Sanji came in with that Zoro would need to change into. As much as Sanji  _totally_  enjoyed seeing his body strut around in briefs, it was better Zoro didn't go into public displaying them.

Still, he had an interesting after thought while he rummaged through a cabinet. Zeff was leaving him in charge of seeing that Zoro got home, wasn't he? Was that some kind of message in itself? Well, Sanji didn't want to really get his hopes up by making assumptions. He was more happy he could just go home and be surrounded with familiarity once more.

He found his belongings in a drawer. Like expected, the non-clothing items were removed, Zeff probably already took them home, but the outfit he wore was still there. Sanji tried hard not to pay attention to some rips and tears in it when he laid it out on the bed and checked it over. That kind of stuff wasn't important now, what was important was that the main areas were intact and it was something Zoro could wear that wasn't a gown as they left.

"Here, put on these." He pointed to the outfit.

Zoro looked to the clothes, then back at him. He didn't even have to say a word, his distaste wasn't easily hid by Sanji's appearance. That was something Sanji was starting to notice, maybe it was because his face didn't naturally appear ticked off, but Zoro's expressions were a little more clear. Still, bastard didn't have a choice.

"We don't have all shitty day, Marimo. Don't make me dress you myself."

Another expression, one Sanji didn't want to even describe this time. It was suggestive. He gritted his teeth and exhaled. Ain't nobody got time for that.

"Get dressed. I'm going to go ask the nurses if there's anything you have to sign."

Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair and went toward the door to do just that. Somehow, he felt like he could trust Zoro to remember at least how to put clothes on.

When Sanji returned, about five minutes later with a clipboard in hand, Zoro had actually listened and gotten dressed. It was a relief, Sanji didn't feel like dressing his body like a doll. It was concerning, however, to see how his body had changed in his absence. Clothes that used to fit comfortably looked loose, almost baggy.

Zoro was at a mirror on the wall, eyeing the chin scruff he was rubbing. He looked through the reflection, meeting Sanji's gaze. At least he didn't start with some sort of shit about Sanji being weak anymore, maybe he realized that because of the baggy clothes, things were different. Still, why the hell was Zoro interested in his facial hair? If he thought he'd shave that off, he had another thing coming, Sanji worked hard on that.

"Don't even think about it. I'll trim it later." He walked over, offering Zoro a clipboard with papers.

On the bottom, a line had been highlighted, a place for a signature. Zoro took the pen, went to the line but paused. It was a normal response, given Zoro hadn't even seen Sanji's signature. Really, Sanji could've signed it himself, but for some reason he felt like Zoro should - just in case anyone was secretly watching or worse... he might need to continue to do so for a while. Besides, this was his lame revenge, if he had to do stuff as Zoro, Zoro should have to do some Sanji things, even if it meant his signature would look like shit. It'd probably just be filed away, anyway.

Zoro's eyes flickered up at him, as if making sure Sanji was going to let him, before going back down to the paper. He took the board from him for a better hold, placing the pen in the right spot and starting to write. The guy had wishy-washy English skills, but at least his writing seemed legit.

"J." Sanji corrected him anyway as he went. Idiot, it was Sanji, not San-g.

Zoro finished it, shoving the clipboard back at him and crossing his arms. "San _ji_ ," he hissed.

-0-

Sanji watched as Zoro stared ahead in awe at what was the magnificent, best restaurant in the world, The Baratie. The guy acted like he'd never seen a restaurant built to look like a giant fish before, it was comical, but in the best way. Sanji couldn't stop grinning in one of those prouder than he should be about living in a fish building sort of way. But really, Zoro shouldn't be too surprised, he showed him pictures of home before. Did he think it was photoshopped or something?

"So, what do you think?" Sanji pursed his lips, leaning over a bit to get a look of Zoro's face.

It instantly calmed and Zoro sent him a look, the temporary bewilderment gone. Jerk.

"Weird," he mumbled before gesturing to the building by lifting his chin. "Closed."

What? Sanji looked back to it. They weren't directly in front of it, across the street actually since they'd been walking from a bus stop, but he hadn't noticed it was closed. It made sense though, considering usually at this time of day it would have been open and most likely crowded. Except now, there was definitely a sign on the door and no cars around yet.

"Shit."

Sanji's heart dropped at that. Surely, Zeff didn't have to close The Baratie, not because of him, that would be the worst thing that could happen. This shitty place was the old man's dream. Quickly, he moved across the street, getting to the door to read the sign. Come on, it had to be some kind of mistake!

He exhaled in great relief. Whew, damn, he almost had a heart attack. No, it wasn't closed. Well, it sort of was at the moment, but not for good. There weren't boards on the windows yet, so that was certainly a plus. However, the hours had been cut back, hours of operation restricted to just dinner, which was a shame. Tons of families loved to stop by midday for their lunch specials and Sanji had wanted to show it to Zoro while it was full of life. That would change soon, he was determined, now that he was back - even if he had to start all over washing dishes as Zoro.

He hissed a little under his breath, letting the paper fall back against the door from where he'd lifted it in his panic to read. Then Sanji turned, seeing Zoro slowly approach him, taking his sweet shitty time.

"Don't scare me like that, asshole. It's just closed for lunch." Sanji looked back up at the big fish, sighing before coming to a decision. "We'll have to go in around the back."

Zoro tilted his head. "Back?" What, did he really think they only lived in a fish?

Sanji shook his head at him, grabbing at his arm while he guided him there - making sure not to lose him when they were this far to being at his home. Luckily, Sanji remembered just where the hidden spare key was located, so it shouldn't be too much of a fuss. They slid in through the back gate to the property, and headed toward the two story building connected to the back of the fish, completely hidden from the front.

Zoro let out a low noise of understanding when he figured it out. Maybe it made Sanji seem a little more sane now, not actually sleeping in a fish building somewhere. If it had, it changed the moment Sanji went on a hunt checking under rocks until he found a key to open the back door with.

When Sanji did manage to open the door, he was hit with a wave of nostalgia that warmed his chest. Fuck. He missed everything about home - even the smell of the stupid place. It was tempting not to fall onto his knees and kiss the floor, really it was, but he didn't do it.

Sanji raised his eyebrows, watching as Zoro stepped in, quickly lowering himself toward the floor to take off his shoes.

"Oi, you don't have to-" Sanji paused.

That's right. He had to learn all the weird new things about Zoro's household and culture by living in his apartment - Zoro didn't know shit about what was the norm in Sanji's house. In any other case, Sanji wouldn't really mind where Zoro took and placed his shoes, if that was what he was comfortable with, but it was such a tiny hallway it was an accident waiting to happen.

Zoro picked them up, looking back up at him since he had stopped mid sentence.

Sanji swallowed dryly, reaching out and awkwardly taking the shoes from him. He'd have to find a place he could keep these when he took them off - but they didn't have anything like fancy foot shelves the places in Japan had. They stared at each other a long, speechless, dumb moment, before Sanji pointed at a staircase down the hall.

"First door on the right."

Zoro stared at him another moment, before turning toward the staircase and taking a step, then stopping. "Your room?"

Sanji shook his head. "No, the bathroom. Take a shower while I..." He gestured to the shoes. "Put these away and get the towels and clothes and... yeah."

Zoro raised his brows, nodding a bit before turning and going up the stairs. Sanji slapped his forehead. Damn, why was he acting weird? It's just a pair of shoes - his shoes in fact! He growled to himself, huffing while he went to find a place for them. He'd find it in his room, where they should go. It wouldn't be convenient for Zoro to find if they were to leave, but it didn't matter, where the hell would he be going - and if Zoro left, he should have a beginner pair, not one of Sanji's favorites.

Sanji put them with the rest of his shoes, before stepping out of his closet. Then it hit him where exactly he was. His room. Everything here was his, it was his domain and he missed it. Most of all, his bed, which he promptly jumped on like a kid. Ah, he wanted to hibernate on it so bad. He shot back up, thanks to a stray thought. Was it homey enough, though? It was suitable for himself, but he wouldn't be the one staying here anymore, Zoro would be the one sleeping here.

Not that Sanji expected Zoro to have high expectations, but Sanji felt like he had a reputation to uphold as a good host. Yes, Zoro was a bastard, but he wasn't going to give him any reason to bitch. He rolled off the bed, looking around at his things. Other than a bit dusty, things were the same as Sanji kept them, relatively clean and minimalistic. Except, of course, for a few sea memorabilia around. He fidgeted his hands slightly. It wasn't weird to have those. They weren't god damn swords. Sanji was the normal one here, he needed to remember that.

Sanji walked back to the closet, looking to his shirts. If Zoro was taking a shower like he was supposed to be doing, he'd need new clothes. At least, that was Sanji's excuse. It would be a lie if he said he didn't try to at least find one shirt he remembered being distinctly too big and try to eyeball if it would fit him with the mirror. He scowled, it was no use. Zoro's body was too built for his clothes, as much as it irked him. Damn Neanderthal.

A drop of water on his face brought Sanji's attention back to reality. Water? How was he feeling water? He was on the first floor and it wasn't raining outside. Hesitantly he looked up, just in time for a drop to hit him between his eyes. What? Where would that be coming from? The bathroom? Wait. No more did he need to speculate, that was enough of an explanation. Seriously, he couldn't leave Zoro alone for twenty minutes?!

Sanji dropped what was in his hands and ran for it. They would both get their heads handed to them if Zoro flooded the house, Zeff would absolutely lose his shit. Sanji almost tripped up the stairs, but caught himself, staring at the water that was starting to flow down them. Bastard, what was he even doing in there to have the water going this much? Sanji got to the door, his feet and the bottom of his pant legs already soaked.

He pulled the door open quickly, wasting no time, only to stop when he peered inside. Their bathroom was average sized at best, had all the essentials, except one that Zoro was apparently familiar with. They lacked a drain in the center to take away excess water, considering that usually happened in the bathtub/shower here. Another change Zoro hadn't notice, it seemed, as he continued to hold the shower head and let it rain on him, eyes closed. No wonder he hadn't noticed how he was flooding water into the hall.

Sanji stomped through water over to him, snatching the shower head from his hand and flinching as he accidentally sprayed his own face. Not letting it get the better of him though, he continued on to the wall with knobs, turning it off. He dropped the damn thing before turning back to Zoro, who shot an annoyed glare back. Sanji grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him.

"What?" Zoro snapped, flinging his hair out of his face. "Lonely?"

Sanji was insulted. Lonely? Where the hell was he learning such infuriating words!

"What?" He mimicked before shoving his hand against Zoro's resisting face, making him look toward the water escaping through the door and it's cracks. The idiot seemed to stop resisting just a tad." You dumbass! Look what you did!"

"Oops." Famous last words.

It only made Sanji want to move his hands into strangling him. But he was strong, making himself resist.

"Just finish up. I have to go get all the shitty towels."

Sanji took a step back, taking another look at Zoro. At least, waterworks aside, he looked like he was trying to bathe, which was an accomplishment in itself. Unfortunately, Zoro watched Sanji as he gave himself a look over and he smirked. Man that guy was so full of shit! Like Sanji would ever have to check himself out while naked, there was nothing new for him to see. Still, it didn't explain the red that crept toward his face while he stomped past Zoro.

It was bad enough that he had to trust Zoro alone with his naked body! He didn't want to think of that crap. Why wasn't he more mortified, like Sanji had been when he took his first shower in Zoro's body? Which, thinking back to that, why hadn't Zoro needed cold water… did he not like what he saw? Sanji hissed out, irritated with his own mind. The damn thing couldn't understand there was a time and a place and some subjects should just never be explored.

Sanji went to the hall closet, grabbing as many towels as he could fit in his arms since he was about to try and race the damn water spreading down the stairs into who knew where. Part of him wondered if he should try and find a damn mop, but as far as he could tell, he was making progress getting it cleaned up. It was a good thing they hoarded towels like crazy, at least, so much for him getting to take a shower himself anytime soon.

It sucked more that his only set of clothes was getting soaked in the process and sticking to his skin. It wouldn't have been too bad, except this was Zoro's body and he didn't want to see any kind of clothing clinging to its outlines. Frustrated, he settled for the lesser of two evils and took the shirt off - it was the only nice one that could fit a Marimo, it didn't deserve death by soapy flood water... Then, after saving the last few towels for the bathroom and Zoro, he opened the door with his shoulder. Sanji dropped them almost immediately after, making a lame quick recovery to get them out of the water. But it wasn't his fault, who wouldn't have a slight panic to return and find Zoro up close and personal with the mirror, a razor in hand as he aimed it.

There was no way in hell Sanji was going to let Zoro shave his face! Sanji left the wet towels and his shirt where they laid, throwing the barely dry ones onto the bathroom's vanity as he made his way over. He snatched Zoro's hand of course, earning himself a snarl, but it didn't matter. Sanji pulled Zoro to face him.

"Impatient bastard, what did I say? Hold still, I'm going to do it."

It was like talking to a child - a child that was nearly the same height, wore his face and was stubborn as hell. Probably itching to have a sword at his hip or something drastic like that, Sanji imagined. Sanji moved the bang from Zoro's face slowly, pressing his lips into a thin line as he concentrated. He'd shaved this face for many years, but never from this angle and certainly not while someone else was inside this body. It didn't help that his own piercing blue eyes were staring down at him. They were annoyed, that was a given considering it was Zoro inside, but they were also tired. Zoro had seemed a bit less energetic all day. How concerned had he been last night? Sanji shook off the thought, moving to get some shaving cream before starting.

Zoro sighed, but not in a normal way, more in a way that made fun of the way Sanji must have been sighing himself a couple of times without realizing. The water had already stopped and a lot of it had been dry thanks to Sanji's soaking towel mound on the floor, but it was still so warm in here. It didn't help how close they needed to be in order to do this, oh and the remembrance that Zoro wasn't wearing anything yet didn't helpt matters. Without a shirt, this was already way past an acceptable level of awkward.

Sanji began to slowly work on autopilot, his mind drifting elsewhere. It was, most likely, still over thinking things again. But damn, for some reason, he could only remember some of the things Zoro had said back at the observation tower in Japan. Specifically, the things about not caring about Sanji having his body, living in his body. It was weird, but he was kind of starting to understand.

Zoro had been him for like one day, but at the same time, the knowledge they were both alive in some shape or form was reassuring. When they're both like this, he almost believes he understands. It's not the worst case scenario and, although very frustrating, they are kind of making it work, aren't they? It drove Sanji insane, but they were getting along for the most part.

Or maybe it was something else Sanji kept purposely thinking over. The thought that he cared more about Zoro's safety in it all than returning to normal. It was far fetched and too romantic, though, too strange for his usual demeanor, so it got tossed to the side. Still, it lead him to a rather strange thought path he would've rather not taken.

Sanji paused, looking at the passable job he did, making his real face look more like it should. Placing the razor down on the counter, his eyes down casted. Lightly, he nudged Zoro's arm, since he'd gone to turn toward the mirror.

"Hey. Zoro." Sanji's voice was low, his attention really captivated by this new thought. His eyes flickered back up. "What happens if we never switch back?"

It was a possibility that was always there, but of course had been buried under more important things - a dangerous pattern that seemed to affect everything of absolute importance lately. Both of them had gone through so many plans and ideas recently, neither had touched base on that seriously, maybe only as a joke. The bottom line was, however, that they didn't know what was going on here or why they switched in the first place. Therefore they had no way of knowing if and what would turn them back. If they would or could be switched back at all.

Zoro didn't turn just yet, making Sanji wonder if he understood what he was asking. Sanji watched him reaching for a towel off the counter. He brought it to his face, debating whether or not to use it, before lowering it and looking over at Sanji. Their eyes met and Sanji swallowed thickly. When he did that, it was hard not to notice the things about his expression that were undoubtedly Zoro like. He'd definitely understood.

Zoro rolled his shoulders back before giving a very unenthusiastic shrug. It couldn't have been the easiest question to answer on the spot, especially with a limited vocabulary. For some reason, his eyes traveled, looking over Sanji then looking at his own arms. It was slightly annoying, since the only time he did that was to call Sanji's body weak, but for some reason it didn't feel like that would be what he would say.

"You..." Zoro began, gesturing to himself. If Sanji was interpreting it right, Zoro was gesturing to his face, or reputation instead of the actual Sanji, stuck in his body. "...will be great swordsman. Me..." Zoro visibly clenched his jaw, gesturing to Sanji, but again meaning his own body and life. "Cook."

The slight, half hearted smile he gave was pathetic and a lie, Sanji could tell that much. It was a piss poor answer in his opinion. Did he even care? Saying something like that, worrying about something stupid like that, were his goals that important it didn't matter whose body he had to fulfill them in? Sanji couldn't even imagine. That would be one of the worst outcomes, to have to restart their lives from scratch. He'd already been struggling badly to live Zoro's life, even if he got to put his own spin on it. He didn't know how he felt about the idea of being called Zoro instead of Sanji for the rest of his life. Even if those closest to him knew the truth. It was sad and in a way, even if his body didn't actually die, it felt like it would make the real, right mind and right body, Sanji deceased.

Meanwhile, it wouldn't have surprised Sanji in the slightest if this asshole already was mentally preparing a training regimen to buff his body up. Mentally, he cringed at the thought of Zoro trying to hold a sword in his mouth. None of this helped Sanji's train of thought at all - and here he thought Zoro would finally be in the same boat as him and understand things weren't all rainbows and butterflies for the non-ghost people here.

Zoro picked his towel back up, moving to wash at his face and get any remaining shaving cream out of the way. He paused, looking at Sanji through the mirror and sighing. Apparently it showed that Sanji wasn't satisfied with that answer.

"Too early," Zoro's expression softened at him while he spoke. "Okay?"

Sanji stared back, but he wasn't sure he liked that answer either. That mindset didn't help. Sanji was trying to prepare for whatever the shitty ass future had in store for them. Then again, it wasn't too farfetched that Zoro, who didn't have to be isolated from his body as long as Sanji had been, felt like things were just beginning. He had the luxury of following Sanji along all that time and watching him, after all.

"No worry."

Zoro continued to stare, reacting when Sanji's frown of concern didn't seem to leave the mirror's reflection. Zoro growled under his breath, turning toward him, giving him a big look. But Sanji was still thinking the stupid possibilities, his attention elsewhere. Of all the people in the world, why was he going to have to live to be Zoro? It was depressing as fuck, this wasn't how this was supposed to turn out.

"Hey. Batman."

The pure stupidity of Zoro's Batman addiction caught Sanji's attention. Sanji scowled, turning his face back to him, glaring at him. Besides he thought he was the Robin in this scenario-

Sanji stilled carefully, his eyes opening very wide. He'd fallen into a trap, fairly easily. Without realizing it, Zoro had leaned forward while calling out to him. He turned and angled his face, making it easier for himself to swoop on in and press his lips against Sanji's.


	20. Chapter 20

**XX.**

Sanji gave in eventually, relaxing his shoulders. His mind was finally calm, shocked into it by Zoro's sudden display of affection. Of affection. Zoro was kissing him. He had moved in, took his lips and was kissing him. Sanji's heart was going to rip out of his chest, if, of course, the feverish red of his face didn't kill him first. It was an unusual feeling, but all the same a growing calm spread and consumed him whole. Zoro didn't back away and neither did he.

Slowly, Sanji's hand acted on its own, raising up in a sorry attempt to push him away, but Zoro's own found it first, gently holding him by the wrist. Zoro grazed against the back of his neck and was deepening his hold on Sanji, ensnaring him, and Sanji didn't resist. Sanji hadn't asked for or anticipated such a kiss, but he wasn't exactly complaining. He was speechless. And with his eyes closed like this, he couldn't help but recognize a feeling in it. The same he'd felt on the rare occasions they'd brought up what they'd decide once they were here in France. What they might have planned if things were back to a reasonable normal.

It was unreasonable to think Sanji didn't need air, but as much as his lungs burned he didn't want to pull away so quickly. It was selfish and he knew he'd beat himself up about it later, but he wanted to hold onto whatever this feeling was just a moment longer. It was new to him, but at the same time it felt like something he'd had for a while, but hadn't allowed himself to experience. Of course, that was an unreasonable request. He opened his eyes again and whatever temporary enchantment Zoro used used on him was shattered. There was nothing that was more effective as a cock block than Sanji kissing his own damn face.

Sanji's senses flooded back to him, as did reality. This wasn't some kind of romance drama. Reacting fast, he shoved Zoro off him, gasping out for air and covering his mouth like an embarrassed schoolgirl. It wasn't his finest moment, but fuck, what was that? It wasn't like he'd never been kissed before, what was the need for a whole damn romantic montage where time seemed to stop? He bared his teeth, ready to lash out and curse Zoro's brains off, but stopped, noticing the genuine smile on the bastard's face.

Smiles usually weren't bad things, except for some reason it made everything about that kiss ten times worse. What a manipulative Marimo! What was his intention, pulling some kind of stunt like that? What, did he think if he kissed Sanji like they did in the movies, he'd just shut up and drop the subject? Sanji rubbed and scrapped at his lips. He'd just made out with himself, his own damn face! And on top of it, the sacred lady-loving lips on his body had been tarnished thanks to Zoro, using them to kiss himself, a man! While he was naked! How on earth wasn't Sanji foaming at the mouth?

"What was that?!" Sanji spat out. He watched in horror as Zoro's smile transformed into a smug smirk. "I swear I'm going to kill you."

It didn't help Sanji's brain still wasn't functioning at normal speed. He was angry and flustered, that was a given, but what was Sanji supposed to do after saying such an empty threat? He wasn't going to actually kill him, of course, but what other option did he have? Why was his brain so slow? Sanji wasn't one for punching, either, it didn't sit right with him when it was his face that could come under fire, so instead he settled with lashing his arm out around Zoro's neck, putting him in a headlock.

It seemed to shock Zoro, who instantly resisted by cursing out his favorite Japanese phrases that Sanji had long learned were insults. His arms went up to push Sanji away, but of course, this was an opportunity where the upper body strength of Zoro's body bit him in his own ass.

"You liked!" Zoro growled out, pushing his hand against Sanji's face, turning his face more toward Sanji to shoot a glare. It encouraged Sanji to tighten his grip, just a smidge.

Sanji grunted. "Who the hell enjoys kissing themselves, asshole?!"

Taken by surprise, Sanji only had seconds to realize what Zoro would do next. One moment, he felt the shove to his knee, taking away his balance, then he felt how Zoro's hand was under his chin now, pushing him away and sending him toward the floor. Then of course, because it was Zoro, there was over kill when he gave a strike to his midsection, insuring Sanji splashed back on his ass on the bathroom's floor. Because, what could be more embarrassing than that kiss then being knocked down by your own body, yeah? What did this guy have, some kind of black belt too? Really, Sanji needed to catch up on this kind of crap.

Sanji winced, hand on his midsection and rubbing at his head. At least there wasn't blood, last thing he needed was to be red and green like fucking Christmas. "Fucking ninja."

Zoro crouched down in front of him, still smug. "You mad, shit cook?"

Sanji glowered. The bastard wasn't the only one who had tricks, Sanji's just weren't as technical. He would show that, swinging his leg against the floor and catching Zoro off his balance and knocking him back as well. It was amusing, since Zoro was still very nude, but also bittersweet since he'd harmed his own body. Oh well, chances were he wouldn't be returning to a bruised ass anytime soon.

Both of them groaned to themselves while they tried getting back to their feet for any further rounds. It was sort of pathetic, but they were both out of commission and didn't have their usual assets to have a truly fair fight. However, it didn't seem like they'd have to worry about it anymore. A very aggravated, ticked off yell from downstairs promptly ended all fighting. Zeff had returned home and wasn't very happy about what mess Sanji hadn't yet cleaned up.

Sanji cursed under his breath. He was getting to it, damn it. Quickly he scrambled to finish up. Zoro picked up on his urgency, thankfully, and moved to help. Except, whenever Zoro wanted to help - which was rare enough - it only made matters worse. Especially when, at that moment, of all the moments it could have happened, he forgot he wasn't some kind of ghost person. You'd think the sore ass would have reminded him of that, but no. In the end they ended up colliding yet again, ass on wet tile and both still very fucking wet. A truly great way for Sanji to spend his first hour back home.

-0-

If Sanji thought about the things he wanted to do the first day he was back home, whether in his body or not, going through his stepdad's closet wouldn't have appeared on the list. Yet, here he had to be, going through an old bag of clothes Zeff never got around to donating. Which really was fortunate for Sanji at the moment. Thanks to the whatever in the bathroom, the clothes he'd been wearing since back in Japan got soaked and needed to dry, leaving him with few options.

Sanji couldn't even think of trying some of his own stuff to dress Zoro's body, so the next best thing would be hand me downs. Thus, why he was wearing some old baggy pants of his old man's and why his chest was bare while he looked for a suitable shirt. So far, though? Nothing but god awful Hawaiian themes. It made Sanji's skin crawl. He sighed, though, sitting back on the floor and tossing another reject shirt to the side. Mentally, he had to apologize to Zeff for being a little shit. He wasn't sure why things were this way, but he was certain it was only worse because a certain bastard was around. Yes, even now, he was playing the pointing game. Whatever helped him sleep at night, right?

He hissed under his breath, remembering again the reason why he was doing this. That damn kiss! No matter what he did, he still felt all weird on his lips and just... everywhere. It was a flashback to what happened in Zoro's bathroom in Japan, except very real and recent and more intense. What if he wasn't blushing, though? Zoro's body couldn't have been adjusted to France's environment yet, right? He was probably just dying, that made a lot more sense to Sanji anyway.

Sanji paused, making a face at a pattern with swirls on the shirt in his hand. Who let Zeff buy this kind of stuff before he was around? How ancient was this shit? Should Sanji start planning the intervention now, or later? So much confusion, why did he care anyway, it was only about dressing himself so that he could show his face downstairs.

Maybe it was because he was being watched, carefully, from the doorway. Sanji was trying not to look over in that direction for a reason. He wasn't over the k-i-s-s-i-n-g thing. At least Zoro had gotten dressed afterward without a fuss. Well, not totally, he felt the need to keep sending disapproving looks and pick at the clothes on him. The guy didn't know how lucky he was, getting to use Sanji's wardrobe, or have clothes that complimented his body. Sanji would trade in an instant. But nope, now he just got to chose between few evil patterns, all unflattering. First thing's first, though, he should stop checking himself out jealously and make a decision. Still, his eyes found their way over to Zoro.

Zoro happened to look up around the same time. His face was calm, his eyes looking Sanji over as he hadn't apparently been paying attention, too busy being annoyed by the shirt he was in. Interesting enough, the monstrosity in Sanji's hand caught his attention. He gestured his hand at it.

"Oi!" His face brightened, his eyes going to Sanji's. Was he literally making a grabby hands gesture right now. "Give!"

Sanji clenched his teeth, slowly looking down at the shirt in his hand again with swirls. Zoro had to be kidding him, he really wanted to wear this kind of shit? Hell no, Sanji was not even about to allow that, holding it a little closer, almost possessively. Then, his expression darkened, a realization settling on him. Unless, it wasn't about the shirt at all, but instead, its swirly pattern. What was this guy's issue with his eyebrows, huh?!

Silently, Sanji told Zoro off with his eyes before throwing the swirly patterned shirt back into the bag, his expression rather grump. He could've said some colorful things, but he didn't even want to talk to him right now. He found something else, something a bit simpler that wasn't too big to slip on.

In reality, he wasn't sure if he should be weirded out or not that some of his stepdad's older youthful stuff could fit Zoro. But really, he just tried not to think about it, only focusing on how it was a relief. Carefully, Sanji put everything back the way he'd found it, closing the closet softly before heading toward the doorway. He looked Zoro down, daring him to say something about the outfit choice, but Zoro didn't take any bait, too busy picking at the collar of the shirt he was wearing. Sanji rolled his eyes before nudging him in the direction of the kitchen.

Sanji stopped him before he could walk in, though, grabbing his arm and pulling him aside. Zoro sighed, scowling at Sanji. Still mad.

"I'm not going to talk to you anymore, but -" Sanji started, looking to the kitchen's entrance. "I need you to ask Zeff how things went."

It would be unnatural for Sanji not to worry about what happened with the billing situation. It was his fault they were deep in the financial hole now, wasn't it? Zoro stared at him, annoyed just the same, but seemed to be keeping up with what he was asking.

"You." Zoro pulled his arm free, heading toward the kitchen again. Then, once more, got snatched, snarling in the process.

"I can't do it, moron! Listen, do this for me, alright?" Sanji wasn't going to drop this. "He won't want to talk to me so you have to ask.  _How_ -" Sanji started, drawing the word out a bit to see if Zoro would try repeating it.

Zoro didn't seem thrilled, but he took a deep breath. "How."

"-did it go."

"How did it go?" Sanji was actually impressed, Zoro's parroting was getting better, even if it still had his awkward, kind of cute accent. NOT cute, that's what he meant. Regardless, Sanji was still mad, so he just nodded sternly and gestured that Zoro could go on ahead.

The kitchen was part of the housing building behind the restaurant and not the actual fish building itself. It was better that way, keeping both fridges separate for their meal planning and preps. It was significantly smaller than how big the other was, but it was enough and Zeff was standing right next to the counter's island. He was reading something, but stopped to look up and show his displeasure to both Sanji and the other idiot. Well, it made sense, who wouldn't be pissed that their house was nearly flooded in their absence?

Zeff moved around the island to approach them, but stopped, staring directly at Sanji's clothing choice. Of course he recognized his own stuff, but if he did, he didn't say anything about it. Hopefully, he shrugged it off as 'Sanji' finding his friend 'Zoro' something to wear. At least that's what Sanji was banking on.

"Yo." Zoro half waved to him and Sanji nearly face palmed. Idiot, there was nothing else to it, Zoro was an idiot. Zeff just stared.

The moment lasted longer than it should have, still very silent and awkward, no one really knowing what to say. Sanji nudged Zoro, who was standing next to him, to just go ahead with his new trick. Zoro flared his nostrils at him, cursing under his breath, before looking back to Zeff, a very uninterested expression on his face. It was exactly why Zoro shouldn't ever pursue an acting career.

"How it go?"

It wasn't exactly like Sanji had taught him, but still it was impressive given he'd only learned the correct way a few minutes ago. Sanji sighed, studying Zeff's expression anyway and hopeful for a good answer.

Zeff arched an eyebrow at Zoro before staring at Sanji. He wasn't amused by any means, probably seeing through their shitty ass plan, but still going along with it. He rubbed at the back of his neck, turning to walk back to the kitchen island and gesture to the paper he'd been reading. Zoro followed him, most likely interested in what he kept looking at, but Sanji stalled in following, stopping only on the other side of the counter.

"It went alright," he started, giving it a look over, then turning it so they could have a look if they wanted. "We're debt free now. We had a huge mystery donation last night for your fund."

"What?" the word flew out of Sanji's mouth in disbelief before he could completely understand. He looked down at the paper on the counter, reaching over and snatching it to stare at what was written. All of the debt that must've piled up was gone? Because someone on Facebook decided to pay for it? Who did he even know that was that rich? "How?"

Sanji lifted his gaze, catching sight of Zoro's and all of a sudden it seemed to become clear to the both of them. Robin. Who else could it have been? It totally fit her profile. It worried Sanji slightly, but if it was an anonymous donation, there was no way to prove it, no reason to waste effort worrying about it. Still, it only reminded him he really did need to thank her, big time.

Zeff skeptically looked between the two of them, but his perplexed expression stopped on Sanji. He reached over and took the paper back. "Why the hell are you so interested?"

Shit. That's right. To Zeff, Sanji just looked like the crazy guy who thinks he was Sanji, but was actually in fact supposed to be Zoro. Great, another weird situation to get himself out of.

"Uh, well, I..." he muttered out helplessly. This was bad and it didn't help that Zeff seemed to enjoy putting him in a tough spot. Shitty old geezer.

Zoro was pretty amused as well, leaning against the counter. He looked over next to him at Zeff and gestured to Sanji.

"Why?" Zoro questioned the old man's question, irritably coming to Sanji's rescue. "Boyfriend."

The bastard said it so casually, like it was something so obvious that Zeff should've remembered from before when Zoro first tried saying that shit. The hair on the back of Sanji's neck stood up at that. How could anyone believe that statement? Before he didn't want to acknowledge it with a reply because it was too stupid to deserve one, but this time - come on! The guy wasn't even using proper sentences. Who believed that?

To make matters worse, Zeff nodded a bit to himself, like that made complete sense. What the hell, were they teaming up against Sanji now or something? That wasn't even right. They were not allowed to get along.

"Anyway," Zeff changed the subject. "I figured a celebration dinner might be in order."

Celebration dinner? If that were the case, why would Zeff announce it? The old man was more of a guy who would have already had it done or at least started. Unless something was wrong and he still hadn't the motivation for it. That worried Sanji a lot, too. After all, because of him, Zeff had to deal with a lot of emotional stress.

Zoro nodded in understanding, but really, the idiot was hungry. Sanji couldn't blame him, he was too, they hadn't exactly eaten lunch, but still. The way Zeff kept looking to Sanji kept him anxious, like he was waiting for a moment to say something, to question his claims.

"It would be a perfect opportunity for convincing too, wouldn't it?" he said lowly, challenge in his tone.

Sanji swallowed thickly. Damn straight, with the right conditions it would be the perfect way to prove himself to his old man, except... flash backs to why he wasn't a cook in Japan. Zoro's hands were so damn strong and clumsy for such elegant work. Their muscle memory wanted to mince in a totally different way.

"What, can't cook? I can have Sanji here-" Zeff patted Zoro on the back. "Help you if you'd like. You would help him, right, eggplant?"

Zoro looked up at Zeff, having been lost. "Egg... what? Yes?" He even allowed Zeff to somehow guide him out from the other side of the kitchen island and toward Sanji, like he was a part of this. When really, it was between Sanji and his stepdad.

Way to put dirt in the wound, old man. Sanji shook his head. Whatever, a challenge was a challenge and Zoro wouldn't slow him down this time. "I can do it. What do you want, old man?"

Zeff chuckled to himself. "Whatever you want to show me."

Challenged accepted. Sanji dragged his new lackey with him to the fridge, shoving ingredients into Zoro's arms and providing no explanation, just doing so before moving to the pantry and doing a lot of the same. Next it all went onto the counter and off he was, looking for his tools he hadn't touched in forever. It was a relief to find them right where he remembered, still in the precise condition he'd left them in. Though, now wasn't exactly the time to stop and admire them, or ask for forgiveness for leaving them so suddenly.

Sanji started peeling and eyeballing his measurements. It had been a while, but he was anything but rusty in his craft. He'd studied cooking his whole life, a while as some idiot wouldn't take that away from him and he would prove it. Not to mention, this would be the first time he could shut Zoro up from calling him a shit cook. If Sanji pulled it off, it would be such a personal victory. Failure wasn't an option.

However, even in thinking that, he couldn't help but hesitate before continuing with his prep work, hovering a blade over what it was he needed to cut. Zoro, his intentions might have been good and fueled by curiosity, but he was cramping Sanji's space. He was just there to really watch, standing too close in Sanji's bubble, throwing off the atmosphere by reminding him of stupid shit. Sanji wanted to be fueled by his own determination, not... that embarrassing, face reddening, shithead.

It was just that Sanji was already stressed trying not to use too much of Zoro's strength in his hands to do something incorrectly, if his mind kept wandering off like this, it would just lead to some kind of mishap yet again. Who knew if the counter would shatter this time? What if it was worse and they had to return to the hospital they'd just escaped that morning?

Sighing, Sanji gently lowered his knife and turned to Zoro, reaching his hands out to push him back at the shoulders a few paces. Zoro allowed it, stepping back a few steps himself like he understood he was in the way of something, but quickly went to move back once seeing that wasn't the case. Sanji rose his hand, stopping him.

"No. Stay."

Sanji slowly eased back to where he was working, shooting glances back at Zoro to ensure he didn't move. Then, exhaling again to get back to his happy place, he picked up his knife to continue. Of course, that was too easy.

"Why are you two so tense?" Oh right, Zeff was just sitting there fucking  _watching_. "Did you kiss or something?"

Sanji outright banged his head on a cabinet overhead, his face reddening and Zoro snorted to the side, giving that answer away quick. Sanji cursed under his breath. How the hell did Zeff even know, there was absolutely nothing to suggest that by their behavior? Really, what was this old man up to.

Determined to still not let this burst his cooking bubble, Sanji aimed his knife back at Zoro who attempted to move. Then slowly, like a prey backing away from predator, he turned back to his job. He began slicing away and preparing the ingredients he would use, very hesitant how much force he gave. The first and perhaps the second time he found himself jumping slightly how effective Zoro's hand strength was here, but being adaptive as he was, Sanji soon found a comfortable medium to get it done. Sanji had thought about putting the idiot to work, trusting his own muscle memory to get the job done for him, but decided against it. This was Zoro, after all, that he was talking about, if something could go wrong, it probably would and Sanji valued his hands more than that.

After everything was sliced and diced, things became easier and Sanji didn't have to glance over to realize it had also become less entertaining to Zoro. Apparently, he was suffering from a case of I-don't-have-to-pee-but-I-can't-stand-still syndrome - Usopp would've been proud of that disease name. It was frustrating in its own way. Sanji loved to cook, how could Zoro find it so boring? Although he really didn't need to, Sanji felt like he had to at least include him somehow. Otherwise it would be silent torture for the both of them.

"Here." Eventually Sanji had enough of the dish he was making to offer out on a utensil. "Try it."

For some reason, Sanji swallowed dryly. Mostly it had to be because of how closely his stepdad was watching them and Zoro was already making it sound like they were something more. This act would probably only add to that suspicion, but it wasn't the case. At least, Sanji was trying to convince himself it wasn't. Zoro had his taste buds right now, his own personal divine taste palette, if anyone would be able to tell him something was off, it would be him at the moment. That was, of course, if he played along.

Zoro eyed down the gesture. Then, as Sanji watched, his eyes moved to the side only briefly to notice Zeff was watching. Dammit, couldn't he just be normal for once and take the damn fork? Sanji waved it in the air a little, flaunting it. Wouldn't it be one of the few tastes of food he'd have since being a person again?

Sanji narrowed his eyes. They didn't have all day! He parted his lips from where he'd been grinding them into a thin line. "Come on." He pushed it out further. " _Ita~daki~masu_."

He knew he was butchering the word, but if the idiot didn't understand after this, he was a damn lost cause.

Chomp. It'd been unexpected and Sanji immediately let go of his end of the fork - he no longer needed it anyway, not when that asshole only leaned over and let Sanji feed him. It made Sanji's heart drop and he quickly turned back to his work. Shit. What the hell was going on here? Zoro finally had a physical dick of his own and he just kept doing things like this - not caring who saw? What kind of person was fate hooking him up with, exactly? Sooner or later, Sanji would really have to kick his ass for this.

"Be serious for once!'"

Zoro, still next to him, let out a grunt at how quickly he fled, slowly taking the fork out of his mouth. He licked it once more, pondering to himself it seemed, before giving a shrug. Then, something totally irrelevant apparently came to his mind, because then he felt the need to share it. And he was somewhat excited in doing so.

"You got booze?"

Booze. Yes, steal Sanji's fork with your mouth and ask about his booze. Fucking alcoholic, Sanji could remember visuals of all the beer cans in Zoro's apartment when he first arrived. It took Zoro like twelve hours, but now it seemed he remembered the actual love of his life. Sanji reached out and snatched the fork without looking, scowling ahead. His body just got out of the hospital, it did not need to get wasted.

"No. There's no shitty ass booze." Sanji made a noise in the back of his throat. "Go sit down, get out of my face."

Zoro watched him skeptically, but didn't protest. He left and Sanji didn't even pay any attention to see if he went to sit down. Instead, he drowned himself back into his favorite hobby, back into his happy place, which only became happier once he tasted his creation and found it just the way he remembered. Perfect.

Sanji would be able to show off, he knew more of what the 'real' Sanji would know later, when he found plates in the kitchen without searching. Then, he plated his dish flawlessly and set it on the table the exact way that had been drilled into him since he was a kid. His eyes stared across at Zeff, determination oozing off him before he sat down cooly. This would do the trick, Sanji knew it would, he was never not confident in his culinary skills. All it depended on now was how stubborn Zeff would be.

The minute Zeff lifted up his eating utensils, Sanji's eyes shifted over to Zoro, sitting in the chair next to him. He didn't seem too thrilled, most likely still annoyed Sanji sent him away mid cooking. Sanji wouldn't put any salt in the wound by calling him out on it, instead he watched carefully to see how Zoro would go about eating.

Maybe Sanji was a bit of a food nerd, but it'd been a while and he really needed to see someone enjoy his meals again. That and there was this odd thing inside him that wanted to know if Zoro would like them. The guy survived on onigiri, so anything with flair should please his tastes. Damn though, just remembering the damn rice ball had Sanji's temporarily Marimo stomach growling. No, this would be the perfect meal to transition to instead, Sanji incorporated rice for a reason.

Zoro hesitated a moment, glaring at Sanji because he'd felt his stares, before focusing more on his meal. He took one bite, his expression contemplating it, then he propped his elbow and face on the table in disinterest.

"Shit cook."

Basically, he lit Sanji's fuse. Sanji glowered, smacking his fist on the table. Really, why had he been anxious for any other answer. He swallowed dryly, trying not to launch over the table and force feed him or some weird combination of both. Kinky.

"What was that, bastard?!" Sanji gritted his teeth.

Zoro smirked, leaving his fork by his mouth a little bit before taking another bite. Then, he nodded, satisfied with his answer before repeating it yet again.

"Shit cook."

Such an irritating bastard! It was so obvious that he was outright lying, it boiled Sanji on the inside. If he didn't like it, he wouldn't keep returning for more bites, he was playing with him. This was serious! Not life or death serious, but something Sanji honestly had wanted to know. Unless somewhere along the lines, that insult had a reversed meaning, though he doubted it. Zoro's smirk gave his whole plan away.

Frustrated, Sanji shifted to his own plate to eat. He could be critical of his own dish, but this time he was pleased enough given the circumstances.

Across the table, Zeff had been eating silently, enjoying the show. While Sanji was eating, he watched as his stepdad turned to Zoro. He could only imagine what kind of conversation this would be, his stubborn old man and the moron with little word vocabulary.

"How did you find this guy?" he asked lowly, his intention probably more joking than it sounded.

Zoro looked over to him when he spoke, but his eyebrows furrowed. Then something dawned on Sanji. Had he not understood him? It seemed like a normal enough phrase, something Sanji had to have asked before about something else... but it hadn't been said by Sanji in the way he spoke. Zeff's voice was different, it was deeper, a different speed. Were things really that complicated for Zoro to understand?

Sanji, if he cared about Zoro at the moment, might have shown some concern at how he was in a tight spot and didn't know what to say, but he didn't bother. He even went as far as to ignore when Zoro looked over at him, as if waiting for him to rephrase what had been said like he might have normally done. It was a very bad idea, of course, and would come back to bite Sanji in the ass.

Zoro looked back to Zeff, pursing his lips slightly before blurting out the first thing to jump in his pea sized brain, making a gesture to himself and Sanji.

"We screwed?"

Sanji rolled his eyes. What was he, some kind of action figure with ten action phrases? Anyone with a brain could see how much they were screwed. He sighed, looking back over at them, then freezing at the sight of his stepfather's wide eyes. What? Why was that such a surprise?

Then, like everything obvious, it dawned on Sanji a little late. He'd never noticed it before, fully acknowledging Zoro's lack of words in his sentences and understanding them in a different way that wasn't the literal way. That wasn't the same, of course, for anyone outside of both Sanji and Zoro, so of course Zeff would take it for how it actually sounded. Like Sanji and Zoro fucked.

Zeff cleared his throat and Sanji's face went blood red instantly. Then came rambling word vomit. "No- that's not what he means. He means screwed like it was bad. Wait no - not like  _that_  was bad like we're in a bad situation- Damn it, old man, don't listen to him. He lives on a throne of lies."

"You little shit, I don't want to know how bad it was! This is still a dinner table!" Zeff shook his head, looking right back to the food, opting not to make further comments about it.

That just made Sanji uncomfortable, whether it had been bad manners or not. Why wasn't Zeff saying or doing anything more than that? No death looks, no killing or yelling, it was uncharacteristic for him to only say that. Or at least, different from what Sanji had been expecting.

Instead, Sanji scowled at Zoro who was playing victim, not really understand what was going on. Forget it. Screw it all. Sanji ate his food and allowed the silence to consume. Confirmed: Sanji couldn't take Zoro's ass anywhere.

When Zeff finished his food, he seemed conflicted. It concerned Sanji more than the potential images he suffered earlier. What if that stupid mishap had ruined his chance at proving himself? He wasn't sure how else he could really go about proving he was Sanji other than to serve a meal like this, in a quality that was kicked into him and personally tweaked by himself. Zeff rose from his seat, taking his plate with him.

"Need to open the Baratie for dinner service," he muttered to himself, placing it down in the sink. He paused, before turning around and looking at Sanji.

For some reason, it made Sanji's heart sink nervously. This was it, wasn't it? Time for the results. Well, he'd taken rejection from the old man before, it wouldn't be the first time and certainly not the last. He'd never work harder if he didn't. Instead of rejection however, he spotted the small twitch on the end of Zeff's lips that tugged into a small smile.

"You coming?"

Victory. Sanji wasn't sure he was even breathing. "What?" he gasped.

Was the old man suggesting he come with him back to the Baratie, to work? Sanji had missed The Baratie like crazy, but to work in it was a very hard honor to earn which could only mean... Zeff finally believed him? It wasn't as sentimental of a victory, kind of simple, but Sanji would take it, it made tons of shit in his life right now a lot better.

"I'll be there right away." Sanji scrambled out of his seat, grabbing his plate to put it in the sink.

Zeff nodded, moving to leave, but stopping in front of the table. "You come too." He pointed at Zoro. "Got some dishes for you." Then he left.

Zoro's face was still incomprehensive and Sanji couldn't help his grin. He found himself falling back into his seat just so he could properly put his face in his hands and exhale in relief. The idiot next to him really wouldn't ever understand what this meant. Or perhaps maybe he did. There was a nudge to Sanji's side.

"Oi, Idiot." Another nudge. "Go, cook."


	21. Chapter 21

**XXI**.

Being in Sanji's room was a little weird. It was a bit too clean, if you knew what Zoro meant. Still, after spending hours of working in the fish restaurant, washing damn dishes and glaring at people who thought it was funny 'Sanji' was doing such a stupid task, it was nice to be somewhere quiet without chefs yelling at each other nonstop about food. At least Sanji seemed to have enjoyed it.

Either way, Zoro was now alone, laying across Sanji's bed and staring at his laptop screen. He wouldn't lie, he was kind of proud and felt no guilt whatsoever that he was able to hack it even with his lack of knowing how to spell English words. In reality, it wasn't too difficult, there were only so many combinations of 'love' and 'lady' he could try before finding his way in. Sanji was getting easier and easier to read these days and, whether or not that was a good thing, Zoro wasn't sure.

Still, he stole a glance back behind his shoulder to see that the coast was clear before even attempting the world wide web. Zoro shrugged, best way to go was to wing it. Except, as much as he could visualize and know what he wanted to Google, the more he stared at the letters on the keyboard, this became an impossible task. He swallowed thickly. If he was going to get this over with, he didn't have time to waste.

"S... Sw...ord," Zoro hesitated a finger over the keys, finding the S then some others. Yes. He was resorting to sounding things out, "ff... ite."

He deadpanned, staring at the screen. Did he mean Sword Fire? No. Damn it. He wanted to look up some highlights to everything he'd missed since Sanji lost his job. It wasn't that hard, internet, just show him who had won the competition he'd missed. It was Mihawk, wasn't it? Well, of course it was Mihawk, but finding out who was second best was essential as well.

Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose. This was no use. He would never get anywhere trying to spell on his own. After all, even when he did click onto 'sword fight', it wasn't anything that he wanted, it was a bunch of poses. Damn posers, he wanted the real thing. At least by clicking another suggestion, 'Anime', he got to see a spoiler of something he missed in a show. Other than that, there was nothing for him to do or search. He just sighed, moving the mouse around on the screen, until it found its way to somewhere familiar.

It was weird, seeing all the options in English since his laptop was understandably not set up that way, but he knew enough of how to find the user history. Taking a peek in there... now that was tempting as fuck. His luck though, all he'd find would be a bunch of XXX material of women. He wouldn't put it past Sanji to look at it.

"Oi, Marimo." Zoro closed the internet window in lightening speed, a natural reflex. "Don't even think about looking up yaoi on there."

Zoro snorted to himself, scowling at Sanji. Tch. Like he was even in the mood for that right now. If he did search something like that, it wouldn't be for himself. No, instead he'd use it like some sort of revenge. 'You made me wash dishes, enjoy your man love related ads'.

Forgetting about the laptop for now, Zoro looked to what it was Sanji had brought with him, which was more than he'd thought he'd need when he said he was going to get some blankets. Instead he'd returned with some giant sleeping bag and then a blanket. Who needed one that big - why did they have one that big? He really didn't imagine Zeff being one for camping, but what was Zoro going to do? Question about it? Fat chance.

He watched, curiously, as Sanji dropped it down on the floor. He flared his nostrils at that. What, was he too good to share the giant, uncomfortable fluffy mattress with Zoro? Why was he so weird about that kind of stuff. Zoro wasn't in the mood to press, so he didn't. Instead he waited for Sanji to send him a look so he could gesture sad-like to the laptop. Of course he didn't get the message, or if he did, which was very possible, he was ignoring it.

Zoro watched Sanji put a blanket over the spread sleeping bag, making his makeshift bed. Of course that wouldn't be complete until he pulled himself up and stole one of Zoro's pillows, the most comfortable one of course. Zoro growled at him under his breath, cocking his head toward the laptop again. Like come on, his ass could get on there and fix the language settings, give Zoro a googling chance.

Sanji raised an eyebrow at him skeptically, throwing the pillow down on his sleeping bag before he looked to the laptop. He rolled his eyes like the diva he was before reaching over Zoro to the wireless mouse. Zoro held his breath. It was weird. It didn't freak him out, his body coming in so close, normally he wouldn't think about it, but it was hard to resist the temptation to reach out, tackle Sanji, anything. Instead, he focused his vision on the flash of gold at his ear that was inches from his face.

Zoro's earrings. It was stupid to notice them now, but having directed all his attention to them, they were all he could think about. That and he was bored. He'd missed those stupid things, they were a part of him in a sense and, although he trusted Sanji with them, he couldn't help but reach out and touch them, even risking looking like an idiot who liked shiny things. Then he had a random thought about Sanji wearing them. Not this Sanji, the real Sanji. The thought softened his expression.

"Alright here you big baby- Oi!" Sanji flinched as Zoro played with the earrings, his hand moving to his ear. The color he was able to summon on Zoro's face was always so interesting. "What the hell, bastard?"

Mission accomplished, Sanji was annoyed. Zoro shrugged, forgetting it ever happened already. Maybe he was like a baby, needing some assistance, but he wasn't too stubborn about it. Definitely not as stubborn as others in the room about things. Zoro snaked his eyes back to Sanji, who seemed to actually be in some sort of pout, muttering to himself about how stupid Zoro was and something to do with the laptop. Sanji climbed off the bed, still holding his ear before finding more stuff.

Mentally, Zoro might've apologized for being strange, but flustering Sanji was a priceless passtime. He didn't get a chance to say thank you, with Sanji leaving before he could do that, but he had a feeling even the grumpy Sanji knew he was thankful. Besides, Zoro had some other stuff he wanted to look into right now and because the language on the computer had been changed, he'd finally get that opportunity.

The results of the competition were just as bad and aggravating as Zoro suspected they'd be. Mihawk won, of fucking course, and his rivals ended up stealing the next few ranking places. He couldn't help but be ticked off about it, any of those spaces - especially the first - would've been rightfully his, he'd been practicing day in and day out before this nonsense. It was a missed opportunity he couldn't really do anything about, other than brood over.

Still, Zoro sighed, it was probably for the best. He didn't blame Sanji personally for losing his spot in the Dojo, not since he was confident he knew how to get that spot back when the time came. It had to be for the best. Sanji tried to act like him back in Japan, but Zoro wouldn't have ever allowed him to pretend to be him in a competition such as this. Not because he'd tarnish his rank, but because it was dangerous. He was in Sanji's body now, he knew he was strong and he'd seen he had his quirks, but playing swordsman while surrounded by the world's best? It was easier to just conclude their story would've been a short one instead of imagining the carnage.

Unconsciously, Zoro was paying attention to Sanji as he walked around, so the minute he stopped close to the bed, he could tell Sanji probably noticed what it was Zoro had been wanting to look up. Which meant, he had to understand a little bit of why he was frustrated, even if Zoro didn't want him to concern himself about it. It explained his silence.

Exhausted, Zoro shook his head, closing the laptop and placing it off to the side. He'd seen what he wanted to see, now he didn't have to think about it anymore. It was just one competition, there would be another one next year and that would be the one he'd steal away from shitty Mihawk. He shifted around in how he was sitting on the bed, turning to look back at Sanji. He was wearing an expression he didn't want to see, but one neither of them could help.

Zoro lowered his eyes, exhaling. "I need-" he began, remembering his English DVDs and what other resources he ever tried usin,. "-to sword more."

He looked back at Sanji enough to catch his expression change. It went from slight concern to its usual disbelief. If Zoro was reading him right, like he usually could, he couldn't believe how stupid he could be saying something like that. But how else was he supposed to break the tension? Sanji would've felt bad he'd been hogging Zoro's life again. At least this way he was mad instead and that was pretty normal for the two of them.

"You need to rest more," Sanji snapped back at him, dropping down onto the floor where he settled on his sleeping bag.

Zoro leaned over the edge of the bed, looking down at him. Then he glared at this mattress. He didn't like big fluffy beds, they were weird, the sleeping bag would suit him better. Why was Sanji so weird about sharing? Zoro wasn't going to do anything, Sanji made it pretty clear usually he didn't like that sort of stuff... even if just the memory of the kiss made Zoro have to fight back a grin. It was a victory he'd have to wait until another time to truly celebrate.

Back to the bed situation, Zoro reached a hand out to point at the sleeping bag. Sanji beat him to talking before Zoro could even ask.

"No way, Marimo. Sleeping with my own body is not on my bucket list." Zoro rolled his eyes. Dammit, if the moron could not think about that kind of stuff for five minutes - and Sanji calls him the pervert - he'd know Zoro only wanted to switch. He went to speak again, but once more was interrupted. "Oi! Do you want to get kicked in the ass by your own foot in the middle of the night, bastard?"

Zoro growled, glaring at the lamp Sanji was gesturing to him to turn off. Forget it, it wasn't worth asking. He'd just be swallowed whole again by mattress. He huffed his bang out of his face again, reaching over and turning off the lamp before climbing under the covers uncomfortably, grunting as he did. Night to you too, cook.

-0-

Drool. There was so much drool around. Sanji slowly peeled himself up from his sleeping bag, looking down at the mess of a nest he created in his slumber. Damn, it was good to sleep again though, really good. Even if he was sure he looked crazy, especially as he was wiping away drool from his mouth.

What time was it? His room was brighter, so it was definitely the next day, perhaps noon? It wouldn't surprise Sanji if it was already noon. His joints and muscles and whole being rejoiced from that sleep, it must've lasted forever. He reached out and grabbed the side of his bed, pulling himself up and leaning against it. Unsurprisingly it was empty. Wasn't there some kind of moss monster that was supposed to be sleeping there?

Great. He slept in and lost Zoro. This is what he got for being used to the guy just being a ghost who hung around, now that he had Sanji's face, what couldn't he do? Sanji groaned, running his fingers through his hair. This would be interesting and regretful wouldn't it?

Though, actually, he didn't have to go far. Sanji only turned and spotted Zoro - but that wasn't to say he wanted to see him. Certainly not when he was sitting improperly in his desk chair, turned toward him. Zoro was sitting sideways, the curve of his back against one arm and his knees over another. It made Sanji curse his body's natural flexibility, that right there was damn extortion. He swallowed thickly.

It didn't help that Zoro felt the need to run his fingers over Sanji's legs, almost experimentally. Was he touching his leg hair?! Or for that matter, why the hell were his legs exposed? Couldn't Zoro at least last in pants for one whole night? Please? Seeing himself just down to the briefs gave Sanji chills he didn't want and waking up was a dangerous time for him anyway.

"What the hell?" Sanji snarled before having to clear his throat. It was still dry from sleeping. He pointed a finger to the pair of pants he recognized them as the one's Zoro went to sleep with, they were lying untouched on the floor. "Put my - those pants back on!"

Never before did Sanji think he'd have this kind of conversation with a guy. Apparently, Zoro wasn't paying attention at all. Or if he was, he wasn't really showing it. He looked over at him slowly, still tapping his fingers on his leg.

"Chewy," he said thoughtfully.

Sanji looked at him like he was mental. Chewy? Chewy what? What the hell did this bastard try to eat? What did that have to do with his legs or leg hair, for that matter even?

Zoro laughed to himself at Sanji's lack of reply. Then he relaxed his head back with a smirk, rolling a bunch of r's on his tongue. The blood in Sanji's face slowly drained. Was he... Was he hinting that his leg hair was like fucking Chewbacca? Not the actual act of 'fucking' Chewbacca, but the damn character Chewbacca?! Whatever, real men had hair, it wasn't his fault that, other than two stupid places, Zoro was like a smooth skinned virgin. Okay, not really, but it made him feel better to think so. Actually, why was he trying to remember what kind of hair Zoro had on his body at all?!

"Leave my hair out of this, asshole! Get up, don't sit like that, you'll break your back."

Zoro rolled his eyes at Sanji's apparent concern, moving to sit in the chair correctly. It only made matters worse on Sanji's end, though. He caught sight of a glint of something shining towards Zoro's ear, making him squint. That motherfucker. He knew he hadn't just been messing with them the previous night or teasing around. Sanji's hand flew back up to his ear just to confirm it was true. Shit! That bastard stole his earrings back and fucking pierced Sanji's body's ears! Did he even remember to disinfect that shit, at least?

Sanji's mouth slacked and he was at a loss for words. What... was he supposed to even say? He could get mad, he always got mad, that was literally the easiest thing to do while around Zoro - but it never did anything. Everything went through one bloody pierced ear and out the other with Zoro.

"Why?" Sanji's voice was almost breathless. All he could hope for would be he'd have some kind of good explanation for it, because his brain couldn't fathom one right away.

Zoro's face softened and he exhaled, staring down at the floor for a bit. He scratched at the back of his neck, then lifted his head, giving Sanji a good look while he hovered over him. A gesture to the ear and earrings later, he finally spoke.

"I'm Zoro."

Sanji blinked. "No shit, Sherlock! That doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want with my body-" Sanji's eyes widened and his voice trailed off, a new thought process taking over his train of thought. He shifted his eyes. "I guess it doesn't matter."

Let it be known, it was very strange for Sanji not to be totally against what it was Zoro was getting at, but he kind of understood now. Or at least he understood his current thought process about it. It was his body, yeah, but he wasn't exactly getting to use it right now. Zoro was living in it and, for all they knew, he might have to live in it for a long time to come. At the end of the day, looking at it from a logical standpoint, it was just a meat suit, right? Who cares who wore it, just so long as they were wearing one.

Sanji winced to himself. He'd never wanted to refer to his body as a meat suit before, but it had been the first thing to come to mind when he thought about it. Really though, back to the point, if it made Zoro more comfortable in his stay using that body, why not? Especially if those earrings held some kind of significant importance to Zoro and it was important he wear them. If it meant a lot to him, Sanji wasn't going to argue. Just like how perfectly flexible his body's legs had been over the side of that chair, they both needed to be flexible about this sort of stuff. Worrying about images or having attachment to appearances and stuff like that was sort of vain, wasn't it?

Zoro looked surprised at how easily Sanji had accepted it and it made Sanji sigh. He wasn't always some guy to yell before thinking stuff out! Just don't hold him to that, he had no doubt there was proof that wasn't true.

"You know what this means, right? I get to dye your hair..." Sanji paused, looking over at the mirror on his desk, just over from where Zoro was sitting in the chair. He glared at Zoro's reflection looking back at him. "Black."

Would be a suitable enough color, Sanji figured. Anything but fucking moss green. Shit just wasn't natural, even if the carpet matched the drapes. Zoro furrowed his brows until he understood.

"Oi!" He rose from his seat on a minute delay.

Sanji rubbed at his temple, shaking his head. He dropped his hand, giving up for now and heading toward the bathroom to shower and get ready for another day.

"Wimp."

-0-

It was another night, randomly in the middle of the week, when Sanji got startled awake. It was interesting in itself, he was so sure nothing at all would be able to wake him up while he was in this body, yet here he was, staring at the ceiling in the dark, his heart racing. Quickly he let his eyes adjust to the darkness before feeling brave enough to turn and see just what it was, considering it decided to land right next to him.

His eyes were wide, of course, but he wasn't that surprised. Zoro had made it clear he didn't like Sanji's bed, but Sanji had enjoyed at least giving him a stiff neck in the mornings too much. Now, unfortunately, here Zoro was, right next to him on the sleeping bag where he landed on his face from rolling off the side. Dumbass. What did he do, get lost even in his sleep? At least that wasn't a bruised cheek Sanji would have to deal with anytime soon.

Sanji shimmied over in his sleeping bag, backing away to give Zoro room. He would've expected him to wake up after such an ungraceful fall, but surprisingly, his eyes were still closed and he snoozed on. Well wait, he wasn't dead, right? Sanji narrowed his eyes, staring in the dark waiting for his body to move and exhale. That was good enough confirmation for him.

Unfortunately, in taking a better look, he also got an eyeful of his disgraceful bare body, sans the briefs. This guy really had something against clothes, didn't he? He wasn't even in a big stupid broad body anymore, how did he get so hot? Sanji shook his head in the dark. Guy was weird and fit the life of a ghost a whole hell of a lot better than he did a physical being.

Feeling a random urge of kindness coming on, Sanji reached out from where he was tucked into his sleeping bag, unlike how he'd slept the other night, and moved the blanket over him across Zoro's back. It was the least he could do, because as a normal human being, he could tell the air was a little cooler this evening. It would be hell for both of them if Zoro went around sneezing all day, nor did his body need it while recovering.

Sanji tucked his arm back with him and turned, staring at him while he slept. It wasn't really that weird the more he thought about it - no one was allowed to lie and try and convince him Zoro didn't watch him sleep sometimes when he was a ghost. He hadn't been able to sleep at all when that was the case, so of course he stared, it was only fair Sanji got a chance. Not that staring into his own face didn't make him a little grumpy, remembering who was actually inside.

It wasn't even because it was Zoro, either. Suddenly, all the recent things that got his panties in a wad which involved Zoro were coming back. Normally, it wouldn't have mattered, but now that he was awake in the dark, alone with his thoughts, how couldn't he think about it? Though, it hadn't all been too bad the last few days. After all, Sanji had finally convinced Zeff who he really was and somehow, Zoro had convinced him not to stress so much. Especially about being stuck as a moss person, like it wasn't the end of the world.

Too bad that certain memory in particular had mental baggage to it. It brought his mind back to the bathroom, when he'd first kind of thought about it and some asshole decided he ought to molest Sanji's lips. Okay, maybe not molest, just steal a kiss like a douchebag. Then he had to throw his ass down onto the floor after he'd put him in a headlock. The hell was that about? Bastard.

Sanji brooded to himself a little more about it. Then, the things Zoro had said during his headlock started to resurface as well. Mostly, when he mentioned Sanji liking the kiss. What made him think something stupid like that, really? Though, thinking and remembering everything about that kiss again...

"I did like that kiss," Sanji muttered to himself, thinking out loud without even realizing it. It was weird hearing Zoro say that. Oh well.

Sanji closed his eyes, shifting and moving the pillow under his head for a better position. Now for him to just fall back to sleep. So he waited and squirmed a bit. Why couldn't he sleep? For some reason, he felt restless and the eerie feeling he was being watched. He opened an eye, then the other flew open right after. He stared straight ahead and right into Zoro's eyes.

It made him jump slightly because he wasn't expecting that. The bastard had been sleeping though, even after he fell down! There was no way he woke up just because of that! Talk about your big fat phony. Sanji's face flared. Of course he fucking heard what he had said, that was just too fucking perfect.

Zoro seemed amused, his smirk surprisingly not sinister. He moved his body so it wasn't so awkward and he was turned on his side across from Sanji. Then he cocked an eyebrow.

"You gay?" Zoro questioned, a tone hidden in his voice that, Sanji didn't doubt, was supposed to mimic fake surprise. "Top? Bottom?"

Okay. Sanji deserved that, considering those were practically the questions he'd asked Zoro a while back. He let out a low hiss. For his information, the correct term was bisexual and Sanji was already regretting coming to terms with it.

"Damn it, Marimo, don't even start." Sanji sunk a little deeper into his sleeping bag cocoon. "This doesn't change shit until we're normal, alright?"

He clenched his teeth, feeling so stupid under his watch. So, fleeing in the only way he could in this situation, Sanji rolled over, glaring at whatever was in that direction. He closed his eyes, as if he could just go to sleep after this, and took a deep breath. It didn't seem like Zoro was convinced at all, especially through his actions.

The bastard scooted closer, Sanji swearing he could hear him breathe. Sanji wasn't sure what he was going to do, swallowing thickly trying to prepare himself. God damn, just when he thought his curse of morning wood wouldn't haunt him again - since it was still technically in the AM.

The feeling when Zoro's forehead rested against the top of his back, right under his neck, made Sanji hold his breath. Shit, why was he so nervous? If he got any sleep at all tonight, it would be nothing short of a miracle. It didn't help that Zoro pushed his forehead in just a little more, moving to get himself even more comfortable. Then, finally, came a sigh from his side.

"Oyasumi."

Sanji hesitated. "Oyasumi."


	22. Chapter 22

**XXII.**

Sanji scribbled another thing in the notebook on his lap. It'd been over a week already since both he and Zoro had bodies of their own, even if they weren't the ones they were originally given, and he found himself sitting against the side of his bed, scowling down at a sheet of paper. He was listing off things, but not just any things. They were things he was sure might be important that Zoro know about him.

He ignored Zoro next to him, hanging his head down from the side of the bed, letting his bangs hang free and expose his eyebrows. He was being idiotic as always, mostly because he knew it would invoke something within Sanji, but Sanji wasn't biting today. He was trying to focus and his expression showed it. This was important.

Still, Zoro asked. "What are you doing?"

It was nice how well his English sentences were already starting to change here and there, just from what he was able to pick up or things that old man Zeff had kicked into him. It was definitely a phrase almost everyone at The Baratie found themselves yelling at him a time or two. Zoro finally rolled over on the bed, looking over Sanji's shoulder at his writing.

"It's stupid."

Sanji rolled his eyes, giving his head a shake before he moved the notebook out of Zoro's perspective. Idiot didn't have to think it was important, but whether he thought he needed it or not, Sanji was going to fill it out.

"It's not stupid, asshole, it's  _necessary_. You might need to know this stuff while I'm gone," Sanji muttered.

Just talking about it was dampening his mood, reminding himself what it was he was about to do, with little choice. On his desk, at that very moment, was a plane ticket, headed straight back to Japan and his ass needed to be on it, unfortunately. Because as much as he felt like he wasn't Roronoa Zoro, he was in the body of Roronoa Zoro, who still very much had a life back in Japan and an apartment that needed to be taken care of. It was unrealistic to assume they'd be able to just wait it out in France. That, and he was 50% sure he might've accidentally left Zoro's DVDs running on loop back at his apartment. Oops.

Not to mention the fact that, to Sanji, it felt like he'd just returned home after such a long time and now he was supposed to leave again? A little over a week was not enough time, he got homesick just thinking about it. But he wouldn't be gone too long. Paying bills that needed to be paid, getting some stuff for Zoro just so he could stay somewhat sane. Worst case scenario, he packs up the whole place and tries to move. Either way, Sanji knew what he had to do and felt at least somewhat confident he could do it, he'd lived as Zoro before. If there ever was a problem, he could call or visit Robin-chan, who he already owed tons of thanks.

Sanji glanced over at the right time, watching as Zoro furrowed his brows. He hadn't liked the idea of this plan since Sanji first brought it up and for good reason. Of course, it would be stupid for Sanji not to expect him to want to go back home to his things and his home, but that's where he drew the line. It was unfortunate for Zoro, but he currently was still inside Sanji's body, which was still in a recovering phase from its coma days. It would be reckless and a waste of a ticket, the plan was that Sanji would return as soon as he could anyway.

So basically, after a mild tantrum or two, Zoro had reluctantly agreed over his better judgement and Sanji silently thanked him for it. Thus the reason Zoro needed a list of Sanji facts. Not that there had been many difficult situations Zoro had to endure and play as Sanji. In that regard, the bastard had been pretty lucky. He'd got to do whatever he wanted unless Zeff continued to drag him off to wash dishes like he sometimes did. Soon enough, Zoro will find that just means Zeff tolerates him, which was really a good thing.

Sanji hesitated, hovering the pen over paper. There just wasn't a whole lot coming to his mind to tell and it was frustrating. What kind of secrets did he still have? He wasn't a man of many affairs. Thanks to their whole ordeal, privacy seemed like something of the past. What hadn't he seen of Zoro and vice versa?

It kind of ticked him off. It took Sanji a while to be able to decently impersonate Zoro and here it seemed like Zoro hardly had to do anything to play him - and he didn't even speak either of his languages that well. Then again, the more Sanji thought about it, just because he hadn't been Sanji the whole time didn't mean he never got to observe and get to know him. Their whole trip here covered that. Both of them had used it to their advantage to get to know each other too.

Which, speaking of getting to know one another better, that seemed to be all they were doing lately in the last week now that there hadn't been any real distractions. No longer did they - or mostly Sanji - have to stress about going to work, pretending, or racing to make funds in order to save a body. Hell, might as well jumble all that time together and label it with a 'bonding time' sticker at this point. The last week had not only been a mix of boring and frustrating, but also weird and hilarious.

For example, Sanji thoroughly enjoyed getting to laugh at Zoro's expense. Like his stupid training regimen he tried unsuccessfully to get Zoro to join him in on, lifting random pieces of furniture around the house in odd push ups and stretches. Or the Youtube video that now sat forever in Sanji's favorites, because Zoro had found an old video of himself at a competition and Sanji couldn't stop the laughter at actually seeing him hold a sword in his mouth. What kind of idiot actually went through with that? He was proud, however, that he recognized which sword it was. Wado, the best out of the three.

Thinking about things in three, it reminded Sanji to glare at Zoro specifically because his ear was inflamed. Whatever, the idiot could manage that pain while he was away. Sanji had already decided that, while Zoro was in that body, he didn't care how he represented it. The golden rule here was something stupid about the inside, not the outside. Basically, Marimo brains.

On the other hand, Sanji liked to think this meant Zoro got to see him being more comfortable and in the zone. They had been hanging around The Baratie a lot lately and each day the more Sanji practiced the better he was getting at controlling these stupidly strong hands. There was no way that even an idiot like Zoro couldn't have noticed and been impressed. Sanji wouldn't entertain the thought.

Sanji was pulled out of his thoughts by a nudge to his shoulder. He dropped his pen onto the notebook, setting it aside before looking up and seeing Zoro's face. Their scowls reflected on one another.

"Dojo in France?"

Sanji blinked a few times. If only there were places like that in France he knew about, then things would be a lot easier. He could drag Zoro's ass there and let him practice for his dream some more or who knows what. He just knew it would've been great, if only. It made him almost sad that the answer would be no, considering Zoro had thought about it, like he was considering ways they could both be in the same area. Since, after Sanji took care of things in Japan, they wouldn't have much choice but to stay somewhat close and see what would happen. Until they give up and start living as each other, Sanji supposed. There were no instructions to this stupid phenomenon.

"No." Sanji frowned. "Not that I know of."

Zoro sighed, relaxing more into the bed, but still too stubborn to be defeated. "Make one."

Sanji couldn't help but snort at that, reaching up to move one of Zoro's bangs back into place. "Just be patient, alright. I'll deal with this stupid shit and then we can figure that kind of stuff out."

Not that it would be easy to figure anything out when they were running thin on piss poor ideas to try and switch back. You'd think this would be more like a Disney movie or something, where it'd only take a kiss to turn back the curse. Maybe that fucker didn't mean it, so it wasn't legit? That thought alone made Sanji look away and hiss. He'd really kill Zoro then, didn't even matter what jail time he'd get out of it. How did people change back in comics? Sanji strongly doubted there was an evil mastermind behind this.

He looked back at Zoro, who seemed to be lost in thought just the same. He really didn't like it.

"Admit it, Marimo." An attempt to tease. "You're just jealous I might get to watch that DVD you left at home."

Zoro sent him a glare, groaning under his breath. "Don't watch!" He threw in a couple curse words as well. "Pervert."

"I'll have money this time, too. Maybe I will go visit one of those adorable maid cafes~"

Zoro pushed himself up of the bed, his expression changing appropriately as if he could see imaginary hearts in Sanji's eyes. Which was what Sanji was going for.

"Oi!"

"I even read somewhere they have places where the ladies will give you a bath? That's some kinky shit, yeah?"

Zoro thumped ungracefully down onto the floor next to Sanji, scowling hard. He reached out, grabbing Sanji's shoulder tight. "Shit cook."

Sanji, smirking still, turned to look into his face. "I bet I could find a Batman themed love hotel. Cat woman and her naughty whip. I'll send pictures-"

He was suddenly very close, his face several shades redder. Sanji's mouth went dry. Maybe he carried on the joke a little too far? He wasn't actually planning to do any of that stuff, really. Zoro turned his face down.

"You go," he started, "with me."

The wires in Sanji's brain interpreted that quickly into, 'you'll go with me'. Well now, talk about being frank. Like Sanji really wanted to go to those types of places! Let alone with Zoro for his first time! That was just a stupid thought in general and no, his face wasn't heating up at the mere thought of it. Like seriously, what, he'd be drooling and nose bleeding over some adorable maid and off to his side the grumpiest grump of all the land would just glare and be jealous? Or no wait, of course he was just meaning about the Batman themed love hotel. That did NOT make Sanji's not-blush any better.

"What, so you could be Batman?" Sanji actually swallowed nervously.

Zoro glared back up at him, furrowing his brows. "No shit!"

Sanji coughed and cleared his throat, pushing Zoro's hand off his shoulder and looking at anything but his face. Shit. That was kind of, well, he didn't even know what to think about it. That was interesting to know. They could tackle that when they crossed that bridge - way, way, way down the road. Why did Sanji set himself up for this kind of stuff?

"I'm not going to do any of that shit, Marimo. I'm just going to take care of what we talked about."

Zoro sighed in relief, relaxing. Sanji finally looked back toward him, offering a lame smile. They were kind of dorks getting worked up over this kind of stuff. Like oozing lameness. Sanji picked his notebook back up, tucked his pen in its spirals before handing it over. Zoro looked over it, but didn't seem to show much interest. Although he had tried, it seemed like there weren't any facts on there Zoro hadn't already figured out by himself.

Still, Sanji gestured to it. "I'll take care of you for the next week, so you take care of me, alright?"

What he meant about that wasn't in regards to their bodies so much, anymore. He felt comfortable enough to leave Zoro in charge without getting himself killed. It was more intended to their personal lives and affairs. For a while longer, while they still hadn't decided to just live as each other and alter their lives, it felt important to try and take care of them.

Zoro flared his nostril. "Pervert."

It was the only acknowledgement Sanji would get, so he took it.

-0-

Fuck. For a guy who liked to sleep almost completely naked, Zoro sure as hell stole the covers a lot. A chill from the air ran through Sanji and he reached out blindly, grabbing some of the cover to pull over himself, paying no mind to the mound of body he yanked it from. Then, he situated himself again, feeling the need to get a few more minutes of sleep if he could managed it. Because why the hell not?

Except, once he'd been awaken, it felt like it was impossible to relax again. Which was strange, when had his Zoro body ever failed to allow him sleep? Unless he'd slept past noon once more and was ranking up on inhuman amounts of sleep again. That made slightly more sense. Well, there was one way to see.

Sanji slowly opened his eyes, starting to yawn as he did but froze half way, his mouth hanging open like a moron. Something was very off here. It wasn't even the fact that Zoro was sleeping right next to him on the sleeping bag again, no he'd already given in to that fight for the most part, but the fact it was Zoro. Sanji clamped his jaw shut. No, like, it was Zoro - ugly mug only a mother could love, green hair, the works. Inches from his face.

That didn't make sense. Why was he seeing a second Zoro again? Sanji's heart sunk. Had something happened? Had Zoro reverted back to his ghostly spirit form or whatever? What did that mean about his body? Sanji swallowed thickly, startled slightly by how Zoro made some kind of noise in his sleep. When Zoro had been a ghost, though, he couldn't sleep… unless he was just acting at the moment to see Sanji's reaction? Fuck, Sanji wasn't sure what to think.

From what Sanji's brain could process, there were only two possible explanations here - something had happened and Zoro went back to being a ghost or this was the start to a very odd and unusual sexual fantasy. Sanji was leaning more toward the first option as everything seemed too real to be fantasy. If it was the first option, however, it could easily be one of the worst possible outcomes considering how far they'd gotten and what they'd been through.

Before Sanji did anything, though, he wanted to verify this. There was no use in panicking right away and looking like an idiot for overreacting. In his defense, it was a bit shocking. Hesitant, he released one of his hands from under the comforter and moved toward Zoro's sleeping face. If he was a ghost, Sanji's hand would go right through him - if he was some sort of fantasy, then Sanji assumed he'd faze through him just the same. He pressed a finger right into Zoro's forehead, right between the brows, holding his breath. Now, what has been his option if it didn't merge through? He really didn't want to get his hopes up.

There was movement under Sanji's finger, Zoro furrowing his eyebrows as he woke up. He didn't seem pleased his 'beauty' sleep was interrupted, his eyes opening slow, almost fantasy Zoro like. Sanji retreated his finger and just waited, watching as some kind of realization passed on Zoro's face.

"Oi!" Zoro moved to lift up his arm, probably to point, but got caught inside the sleeping bag Sanji specifically remembered going to sleep in himself.

Did that mean...? Could they have...? Sanji was grinning before he even had confirmation. He sat up quickly, looking down at himself. Son of a bitch, never before in his life did he think he'd be so relieved to be the one wearing Superman briefs. His skin was a familiar color again and reaching to his hair, his bangs fell back into place.

Sanji was home - he was back to normal. Holy shit. He jumped to his feet, he had to see this in the mirror and make sure it was true. Practically stumbling over, he landed in his computer chair right in front of his mirror. His reflection came to view and it was perfect, but still his fingers came to his cheeks and squished them around, just in case it was some type of illusion that would fall off and reveal green. But it wasn't an illusion. From here on out, there would be no awkward frequent morning woods, no green hair and no stupid upper body strength.

Sanji was so excited he couldn't help the flow of rambles and mutters that escaped his lips as he tried wrapping his head around it. It was a bunch of jibberish and a mix of his English and French words that made absolutely no sense, but it didn't even matter. He was back in his own body.

Sanji stood back up, looking back over to the idiot trying to escape the dreaded sleeping bag. Eventually he got his last foot out of there, holding onto the bed for support before looking over at Sanji. His expressions was back to normal, not as easy to read, but Sanji knew enough to see he was relieved. He mimicked just what Sanji had done, walking past him to look at the mirror.

A few weird faces later and it seemed like Zoro had seen all he needed to see. He turned back around, a shitty grin on his face while he looked to Sanji. Before Sanji could get a word in edgewise, he'd moved in, wrapping his arms around Sanji and pulling him into an embrace.

"We not screwed."

Ah, how Sanji never thought he would be excited to hear that. However, it didn't take long for the numb feeling of switching back to subside. It was hard to really explain what it was like to actually return to a body and just know it was the right one. Of course, it was hard to explain the awkwardness that spread over Sanji from the embrace. It would've been fine before, they'd started showing affection to one another even if he said they should wait, but something about actually being switched back was different.

For example, this was the first time Sanji ever really met Zoro face to face - in his rightful body. He'd never met or spoken to him before like this, only through Zoro's own body while fate teased them. It was like all the steps he'd taken to be okay around Zoro about these things were temporarily taken back. It was different when the guy borrowed your face.

Sanji pulled away from Zoro, an awkward smile still on his face because this was a good thing, it was heaven sent. But why did he feel exposed again, like they were back at Zoro's apartment in the bathroom and Zoro was reading his thoughts? Maybe because he was only in his damn underwear?

"What's wrong?" Zoro cocked an eyebrow, in a way Sanji wished he hadn't seen because it was a fun quirk, looking down at him.

He sounded a little worried which wasn't Sanji's goal, he didn't want him to be stupid and worried it was just - indescribable. Imagine waking up after being in a confusing bubble for a long time, but finally the bubble was now popped and everything fixed, just with the lingering after effects of a schoolgirl crush. Seemed about right. And even though they were back to normal, everything about them privacy wise had kind of been exposed one way or another.

"Nothing, just, shit," Sanji cleared his throat. He'd have to get used to hearing his voice speak his own words again. "I think this is the first time we've actually met."

"Oh?" Apparently it was something very amusing to Zoro. He took a step back, thinking about it. "What you think?"

There we go, there was the extra vain Zoro that Sanji knew and... knew. What, did he want Zoro to check him out or something? Something red crept up at Sanji's cheeks. Like hell he was about to just stand there and do that. He'd checked that body out many times before, when it was safe and he was in control of it, now that he had left it, he intended not to go looking. That was dangerous territory. Zoro could stroke his own ego.

"I think we should get dressed, asshole."

Fidgety, Sanji stepped away and toward the closet, ignoring Zoro's displeasure over having ignored his question. There was a time and a place and it certainly wasn't now. Or if Sanji had his way, never, but apparently that got tossed aside a long time ago. His ability to think in a sane manner was thrown out somewhere along with his pride.

It was just so stupid to feel the way he was feeling. He'd been around Zoro for a while now and yet he felt like this was the first time he was having a man in his room. Where did Zeff go wrong raising him this way? When had he strayed off the path?

Sanji hadn't escaped to his closet to exactly avoid Zoro or anything, no, he still kept sneaking peeks while he got dressed. It was just like when Zoro was a stupid ghost again, only meatier. And now Zoro was getting dressed himself and not in just some sweat pants and sandals he had to wear permanently.

Sanji shook his head, drawing his attention back where it should've been, on his own clothes in hand. He wanted to look good, not for a specific bastard, but for himself. It'd been way too long since he got to feel normal like this and wear clothes that were actually his. Anything else was for shits and giggles.

After tying and straightening his tie, he stared into the reflection of the mirror he had hanging on his closet wall for such occasions. He couldn't stop smiling. This was a great way to wake up, back to normal, alive. Ah. Damn. He reached up, feeling the earrings at his ear. Those stupidly fit here as well. If they were important to Zoro, enough so he had to pierce that ear, Sanji should return them. But he didn't feel like it. It wouldn't hurt to wear them a little longer, would it? He'd play dumb, plain and simple.

"Saaanji."

A shiver ran down Sanji's spine, flashbacks of talking to himself in the hot spring coming back full force. Except, he hadn't been the one to say that this time. That bastard.

"Look good."

Sanji turned slowly, clenching his teeth before scowling at the asshole in the closet doorway. He was smirking and apparently had been watching. "Shitty stalker, only ghosts get away with that shit."

Sanji's gaze settled and he finally noticed what it was Zoro was wearing. What was this, a blast from the past? He'd put on his shitty host club clothes, the ones they'd come over in. Not that Sanji blamed him, he wouldn't have settled with Zeff's wardrobe. Still, Sanji pressed his lips together tight.

Just when he thought he was comfortable with an image of something, of course it turned out to not be true. No matter how many times he'd seen that body, no matter how many outfits, it was still different this time. It was actually Zoro. It was so hard to explain, but there was something more he brought to the body and face that made it even harder for Sanji not to stare. Since when was he attractive?

Man. Sanji had this schoolgirl crush shit hard. What did he do to deserve this? At least, with his own face back, he knew how to get away with it. Did he have to hide it, though? Really? It was a bad habit, but he had been the one saying this whole time that they couldn't do anything until they were back to normal and here they were. Looking pretty normal, minus the green hair of course.

Zoro huffed, crossing his arms as he stepped away from the door frame and walked a few paces closer. Sanji tensed slightly, cursing himself for doing it without thinking. So much for trying to act smooth about all this. He was such a noob. Why couldn't Zoro have just woken up as a chick this time and ease his nerves? He was never this way around ladies. Never mind, an image of that in his imagination was enough to make him very thankful Zoro was who he was.

"Scared?" Zoro stood by his side, leaning to look into his face. It was a question, but more than that, it was bait more than anything else.

Pfft. Scared? No. Sanji was not scared. That was ridiculous. He had no reason to be scared of Zoro, he got over the whole sword thing like four days into their switch. If he needed to, he had no problem displaying to Zoro how much he thought he could take him. He'd been waiting months, after all, to finally kill him, Zoro shouldn't be pressing his kindness. If he wanted to be able to sit the rest of the day at least. Wait, that sounded wrong. He meant because of the kick thing, nothing else.

Sanji didn't even grace that stupid question with an answer. Instead, he gave Zoro a death glare, letting him interpret that as he pleased. Besides, given how the asshole wanted to gesture to Sanji's face, most likely his cheeks, he was probably going for the word 'nervous', which Sanji still refused to provide an answer for.

"Kiss?"

Like Sanji had time to answer that one anyway before Zoro just went ahead and did what he wanted. All complaints were lost just as fast as Sanji was pulled into the kiss. Even if it was technically their second one, it held enough spark that it could easily match their first, which Sanji felt stupid even admitting. He wouldn't completely be taken by surprise by a kiss, though. He wasn't helpless - he hadn't been then either, but at least now he knew what he wanted to do.

Sanji raised a leg and in an instant he'd kicked Zoro's sack of a body against some of his clothes and their hangers. He was making a mess, but it was worth it. When Zoro stood properly on his feet, since he hadn't totally been knocked over, Sanji leaned in and grabbed his stupid face by the chin.

"That's for calling me fucking chewbacca," Sanji gritted out from his teeth.

Then he rolled his shoulders back, letting go of Zoro's face for just a moment until he remembered something else. Then, treating himself to the practice, he kneed Zoro in the gut.

"And that's for calling me weak, bastard."

So much for deciding to play nice and not get his revenge. It was just that he'd really dreamt about doing even the smallest bit of something just to make Zoro feel some pain. Now that he wasn't in his body anymore, it became good timing. What Sanji hadn't expected was that even while his coughing and holding his midsection, Zoro laughed genuinely.

The moron looked up at him, grinning. "Date?"


	23. Chapter 23

**XXIII.**

"Date?" Sanji strained his face when he repeated the word.

How was it that something like that never occurred to him in their little relationship. What had he been expecting, that they would just always kind of be in each other's bodies and have to deal with each other day in and day out so that dates were rendered useless? Well, yeah, kind of, the idea seemed weird. Why did they need to go out and be in public? The last few times they did that, Sanji had to talk to himself like he was insane, which he did most of the time anyway, not being secretive and acting normal… could that even be accomplished?

Sanji let out a bad fake laugh. "Ha. Funny, Marimo. Who asks someone out like that? Go get lost."

He turned and headed toward the closet door and back into his room. Honestly, he was flattered about it, but it was just so weird. A date with a guy, what would they even do? Sanji had only recently discovered he'd even be tolerable about liking a guy, let alone knowing what he was supposed to do with one. He saw pictures of the yaoi, but he didn't watch the DVD of the yaoi. Actually, yaoi was so miles away from what he should be worrying about to begin with!

And even if they did find a place to go to, what would they talk about? They already knew enough about each other, more than the average married couple knew about one another. Shit, for a womanizer, Sanji wasn't living up to his title - not with literally knowing nothing past the first stage.

Sanji walked past his bed before stopping, catching something in the corner of his eye. He turned slowly in the direction of his desk, a sudden and sad reminder meeting his eyes. Ah, right where he'd left it. Sanji reached out and grabbed the plane ticket he'd purchased to go back to Japan and handle Zoro's affairs. Back to normal he wouldn't have to, but… Zoro's name was still on the ticket and it was a one way trip, scheduled for the next day.

Of course, if their bodies weren't swapped anymore, why would Zoro need to stay here with Sanji in France? He had his dreams and goals to get to, back to his life in the whole different country of Japan, which was probably the only place he could accomplish those things. Thousands of miles away. Because, as if Sanji wasn't already experiencing everything else for the first time, why not pile some kind of long distance mess that would never work out?

Finally, Zoro exited the closet after him, scowling. He must've not liked Sanji storming out, but Sanji wasn't sorry for it in the slightest. Only thing he was sorry for was ruining the mood by holding the ticket in his hand, a place where Zoro could see it and realize what it was. It bummed him out just the same, there was no way he didn't know what it meant. He was going to get to go home and Sanji… Well, Sanji worked his ass off to get home, he loved it so much.

Sanji looked back down at the ticket before slowly putting it back on the table. He wasn't sure what to say about it, in fact, he was resisting the urge he had to tear it to shreds. It was a just a stupid piece of paper and yet it scared Sanji in a way. He wasn't sure when it'd happened, but he'd become kind of used to Zoro being there day in and day out, any shape or form. What was life alone like again?

"Alright, Marimo." It wasn't the plane ticket and reminder Zoro would soon be gone that had Sanji agreeing to this. It had been a big enough push to make him realize he wanted to. If this was how it had to go, they could spend a little more time together first. "Where should we go on our date?"

Zoro scratched at the back of his neck. "Booze."

Why wasn't Sanji the least bit surprised? He shook his head. Getting wasted at this point wouldn't even be memorable nor special. "Hell no. We'll go shopping. I want to send you off with some shitty gifts."

Something in Sanji's phrase made Zoro's scowl darken, but Sanji ignored it, averting his eyes and moving toward his bedroom door.

-0-

"Oi, numbnuts," Sanji called ahead of him, glowering at the back of a green head, "I told you this way."

Zoro stopped where he was walking, which was unintentionally onto a crosswalk. He looked down, noticing where he'd gone before backing it up and moving back over to Sanji. His eyes were wide as they had been since they'd left The Baratie and headed further into the city. It was strange, but interesting to watch him look everything up and down like a tourist. Sanji couldn't help but wonder - had he been this bad when they went around Japan?

"Idiot, what did I tell you? You can't see the tower from here, stop looking at the sky."

Zoro wasn't convinced as he hadn't been the last few times Sanji had mentioned it either. He wrinkled his nose at Sanji's comment, lifting his hand to his chest. "Short."

Like that had anything to do with it. Sanji gritted his teeth. He wasn't short, especially compared to Zoro. Yeah, so Zoro's head was maybe like an inch or so taller than him - due to moss growth mind you - but that didn't qualify him as short and unable to see the Eiffel Tower. He was just smart and knew it was too far away from the market street they'd decided to go to, he was actually using his brain instead of being a stupid tourist.

Sanji elbowed him for fun, before jerking his head in the direction they needed to go. It was a street, but different from any of the other ones. It was paved differently and each store expanded outward like booths with beautiful displays with many different varieties of product - from bakeries with pastries, to flowers, and then clothing. Not to mention, the street itself was also pretty visually appealing, with all its different colors and greenery.

To the outside person, it wouldn't have seemed like they were there to do much other than waste around the afternoon walking from store to store aimlessly. It wasn't exactly true, Sanji had some things in mind he wanted to get the idiot if they came across them, but no such luck. So instead, he wandered around after the lost guy with his hands in his pockets.

Zoro was surprisingly touristic. Yeah, he was kind of a tourist before, but now even more so. It made Sanji wonder if the guy had ever left Japan before? Or even the dojo, for that matter? They passed a rack of postcards in one of the stores and Zoro stepped back, crouching down to look at them carefully for minutes, a serious look on his face. Did he really want a picture of the Eiffel Tower that bad? After a few moments, he turned to Sanji, gesturing to the photo with his finger at the empty space beside the tower, since the angle of the picture had the photographer on the ground taking the picture from far away.

"Me," Zoro explained stupidly.

Shit, was the tourist mania already that bad that Zoro was picturing how he'd pose beside the damn thing like he was taller than it? Sanji shook his head, taking the postcard from him and putting it back on the rack. Hopefully they'd just have their own opportunity, one day, that Zoro could be as dorky as he wanted.

They eventually left that store, heading further down the street and passing by more shops. It doesn't take much time until, suddenly, Sanji had to try distracting Zoro further and diverting his attention away from a toy store they passed. No doubt there would be at least one Batman related thing in there and, although it was unspoken and never discussed, Sanji just got a feeling it would become some kind of law between them that they'd have to acknowledge it, but Sanji didn't want to waste time on that just yet.

No, instead they could waste time elsewhere. Sanji reached out and grabbed Zoro's arm, though not forcefully. His eyes were completely off in an opposite direction from Zoro of course, but he still tugged him over to a handy convenience store, tucked away among these other shops. He was glad Zoro had come willingly, otherwise that could've gotten embarrassing fast.

It sure as hell wasn't like a Japanese convenience store by any means, but it would do for a sudden craving Sanji acquired. It had been a while since he'd had one - which most people would see as a good thing - but for some reason, with the current timing and seeing that he was back to his old self, he couldn't pass the opportunity. It wouldn't make him any less whatever the hell he was feeling about Zoro leaving, which wasn't a positive feeling by any means, but it might help distract him from it.

"Oi," Zoro's voice came from over his shoulder the moment Sanji reached across the counter and took a pack of cigarettes from an employee. "You smoke?"

Having already paid for it, Sanji quickly shoved the carton into his pant pocket, turning to look at him. Did he really not know? It seemed kind of hard to believe. Yeah, sure, he hadn't ever done it while in Zoro's body out of courtesy and his body was probably already mostly weaned off them post coma for Zoro to crave, but his room and clothes had to have had a smoker's smell to them.

Way to call him out on it, asshole. Given Zoro's expression, it was hard for Sanji to really pinpoint whether it was curiosity or something else. It made him kind of feel guilty, but hell, his lungs were already black and used to it - he didn't need more stress about this piled up on top of the stress he was going to even use them for. Even if the time his body spent without them in the hospital could've helped him quit. Feeling the need to distract Zoro away from his choice between two evils, he pointed in the direction of the other one.

"Just go get yourself a beer already, idiot."

Zoro stared at him a little longer before nodding, consenting to the fact they deserved at least a little indulgence. That and he grinned like a little shit, finally getting the beer he'd been craving for ages. Unfortunately for him, and Sanji didn't feel the need to point this part out, it was probably all shitty quality and nothing compared to the ones he was used to.

After purchasing that too, they made their way back outside. Close by, in a section where two stores should've been, but no longer were, they sat on a bench. Seemed a good enough spot as any, the area actually had grass and some plant life so at least they had enough to stare at while they sat there. Honestly, they had to look like quite the pair, sitting at opposite sides of the bench, relaxed and gazing toward opposite directions, enjoying their poison of choice.

After a few very appreciated inhales of his smoke, Sanji's eyes snaked over to his 'date'. It was kind of comical to watch him drink. Sanji would've thought he'd down it, but instead he was almost sipping at it, rationing it out. He was smart, he took into account it might be his only one until he returned to Japan. Then he could drink whatever he wanted, couldn't he?

Sanji looked down at his cigarette. It was stupid and pointless how much he didn't want Zoro to go, but he wasn't about to forget he was his own person. They both were and besides, hadn't they both been hoping since the beginning for this freaky nightmare to end? Yeah, it brought them closer together and that in itself was fun, but life never paused for them during their swap and it wouldn't now either. Zoro had goals to meet, Sanji has his too. In order to do those, it was only natural he return home. At least now they had each other's numbers for whenever Sanji wanted to call and listen to broken English, or Skype and stare at stupid green hair.

Sanji stood up from the bench, resting his cigarette between his fingers while he stretched. Then he half turned back to the Marimo.

"You stay here and try finishing that. I'm going to go get some things."

Things could be anything. They could even be more things. Maybe a mystery box. Sanji huffed to himself, watching as Zoro nodded, still enjoying his beverage. Must've picked a not so shitty beer, maybe it was some kind of sixth sense, he wouldn't have put it past Zoro.

When Sanji returned about half an hour later, bags in his hands, he paused before walking right back to him. The idiot really was oblivious to the crowd. Was he still used to being invisible? Either way, he hadn't even noticed the small audience that gathered across the road. Sanji hated to eavesdrop on ladies, but he hated what they were talking about more. Why on earth were they checking Zoro out?

Sanji's mood darkened. He wasn't jealous, that wasn't why he cared, he was mad because it was stupid. Plain and simple and he wanted to make sure the Marimo knew that especially. So when he walked back to the bench and dropped his purchases down, he didn't miss a moment to kick his shin.

"Dumbass, you can't just sit there with an empty beer can and stare into the sun," Sanji hissed. "Someone might mistake your ass for cool."

Zoro scowled back at him, lifting his arms up in confusion. His expression literally read 'and why was that a problem', but Sanji just didn't want to waste more time explaining it.

"Zoro cool," he attempted to remind, but in referring to himself in third person he was already proving Sanji's point.

Sanji stared at him deadpanned for a while before shaking his head. Really, some people just couldn't be saved, but he was already doing as much as he could for at least this moss person. Ignoring that subject he'd brought up himself, Sanji moved to the first bag and withdrew one of his purchases. Poor Zoro, he seemed excited, but then just confused to find it was a skillet.

"I know you know what this is. You are going to take this and promise me you'll use it, alright?"

Zoro furrowed his brows. "Why?"

Sanji glared, almost insulted. "Because you have fucking nothing in that little shitty kitchen of yours. You can't just live off onigiri and I know you've seen how to use these."

Sanji put the skillet back in the bag, turning it to show him its other kitchen contents, which were of absolute importance and the best quality - Sanji recommended. Then he pulled out a book that at first glance looked like a children's book. That wasn't the case, it was actually a cooking for beginners book. Sanji opened it to a random page and showed it to Zoro.

"And if you don't know how to use them, I figure there's enough pictures in here for you."

It was actually a really nice book, the reason Sanji took so long to come back was because he'd been standing in the middle of the store looking it over and making sure the pictures displayed the right things and were obvious enough that even Zoro could understand. Now he just had to have some faith the bastard would use it and not kill himself from unhealthy eating habits and swordfighting.

Sanji could tell Zoro was listening to him and watching him try to explain, but his expression still seemed troubled or confused. A fact that was only verified when Zoro reached over to take the book, close it and toss it back into a bag. He pressed his lips together, thinking, before turning to look at Sanji once again. His body language was lax and it had Sanji feeling more nervous. What was he going to say? Had Sanji gone too far with doing this? How would he be able to sleep at night if he hadn't at least tried, though. It was like donating five cents a day, but this way he'd given his support upfront.

"Sanji." First name basis never meant it would be good. "Come with me."

Zoro's words were, of course, a little off in pronunciation, but genuine enough that Sanji could understand they were heartfelt. But to go back to Japan with Zoro? What, and move in with him? Sure, they hadn't left each other's side basically for the whole summer, but were they even at that level? Well, if you trusted someone to maintain your body while you're away in theirs, why not.

Still, Sanji couldn't find it in himself to outright say yes. There was a lot he still had to think about and much he'd missed out on. The debt might not be there anymore, but The Baratie was still hurting from its lack of open business hours - Zeff probably needed him here to help get things back on their feet and Sanji owed him tremendously.

That, and what would Sanji even do in Japan? No matter how much he thought about it, he wasn't ready, not when he easily turned into a highschool girl around Zoro. It took more planning than this, it would be stupid to be spontaneous and not think it through or make preparations first. He knew that, really he did, but it still tore into him. He missed Zoro's stupid presence just knowing he would be leaving soon. This is where this ending really began to suck.

"I can't." Sanji had his jaw and body tensed tight. There was a reason he couldn't look over at Zoro right now, because then he might actually give in despite knowing he shouldn't.

Next to him Zoro sighed, sitting up in his seat. He moved in a little closer, not knowing how it tortured Sanji.

"You want me to stay?" Either Zoro's English really was getting better or his mind was plugging in the missing words now.

Did Sanji want him to stay? Duh, he'd already admitted to himself he wanted to rip up that stupid plane ticket. He should've known he was totally screwed the moment he had a passing thought about wishing the switch hadn't reversed so quickly, regardless if he'd dismissed it immediately. He couldn't be selfish here, though. No, he wouldn't be.

He looked over at Zoro, forcing his face to stay indifferent, or maybe even just a little angry that he'd even ask. "Are you stupid? You can't stay here. You've got your sword dreams and shit in Japan. I'm not ruining that shit for you again."

"Oi, cook-"

"No," Sanji stood up, grabbing the bags. "You think this is a good idea, but it's shitty. You have to go back to Japan or you won't be happy. I'll just be happy here, so leave it alone."

Then he turned to walk off, effectively ending the conversation before Zoro could argue. He hated doing that, but discussing this kind of crap only made Zoro leaving more difficult. He purposely didn't look back. Zoro's face was probably that of a sad puppy dog, anyway. Really, it wasn't like they wouldn't always have Skype and shitty ass Google Translate.

-0-

They hardly talked after that and it placed a real burden on the time they had left. Their goodbye at the airport was pretty disappointing too, ending only with a conversation that Zoro would at least let Sanji know when he returned home and photographic proof he took the kitchenware into his house. Not that Zoro cared. He might've said he would, but considering how he felt leaving Sanji, he didn't feel like he cared about anything really.

Before there had always been something to be curious about, or skeptic, never a dull moment even during the dull moments they had with no clue what to do. At least listening to Sanji sometimes muttering to himself in his languages was entertaining enough, for Zoro anyway. But now it would just be seen like some vacation that, although it'd felt real, it seemed pretty impossible now that it was over.

Zoro's flight got in late at night and honestly, he didn't want to go straight back to the apartment just yet. All he'd see there was shitty shit that would remind him of Sanji. Unfortunately, he couldn't go have him self some booze either, considering he had to lug around new shitty shit Sanji had sent him off with. So really, he had no choice but to return home and it was probably the best option - he was mentally exhausted, which wasn't good to have building up if he wanted to press play on his life once more.

Sanji had made it clear he was supposed to come back here and chase his goal again. It was stupid, because Zoro would've done it regardless of him feeling the need to tell him, but that made it all bittersweet. It really was a shame other parts of the world didn't practice sword fighting anymore, a real damn shame. Sanji was right too, he couldn't do it in France. Had Zoro went back there to stay with him and even tried wearing his swords on his hip, they'd think he was crazy.

At least Sanji was wrong about one thing, which Zoro discovered when he entered his apartment for the first time in a long while: they hadn't left the English DVDs running. Nope, the apartment was pretty dark, cold and if Zoro were a wimp, lonely. He dropped the bags and jumped to land hard on his futon, glaring ahead at his wall. This sucked ass. He was tired, but he didn't even feel like napping anymore. Stupid Sanji.

Why exactly hadn't he just grabbed Sanji and made him come to Japan again? Sure, he would've kicked and screamed and thrown an absolute fit, but Zoro could handle that, no sweat. But then there was the whole human rights thing and trying to force someone through customs that made that possibility a lot harder.

Zoro growled to himself, rolling over in his bed and looking over at his stuff, organized somehow from Sanji's patience. He'd never be able to watch that porn DVD now, or even want to. Thanks, Sanji, you really ruined Christmas this year. It was sappy and stupid, but all he wanted to do was sit around and look at all the things Sanji definitely left his mark on, thinking back to how he'd been just a ghost before doing the same thing, but at least then Sanji had been there.

This had to be what Sanji was getting at. The idea of him coming sounded nice, but it was a huge distraction to Zoro and his goals. For example, he was supposed to be planning how to get his job back at the moment, yet he hadn't even been able to focus on the subject more than a minute before going back to some other annoying topic about a certain French cook.

He hadn't even gone to touch and look at his swords either. Well, there would be plenty of time to do that later, he had all the free time. Lacking any appetite at the moment and pissed he didn't get his booze, Zoro got ready for bed instead and got himself comfortable on his futon. Stupid thing was better than a sleeping bag on the floor anyway. Washing dishes every day was stupid. Tomorrow, Zoro would slice and dice somebody and absolutely thrive.


	24. Chapter 24

**XXIV.**

The next morning, or rather the next afternoon, Zoro wasted no time to shower, get dressed and finally equip his swords at his hip. It was weird how much he missed the weight of having them there. Just having them in his reach restored his confidence to the extreme and reminded him why he was about to do what he would today. Carefully, he wrapped his fingers around one of their hilts, caressing it with his thumb. Even after weird body swaps sending him across the world to different countries, these would always remain and bring him some sort of joy, wouldn't they?

His plan was to go back to his Dojo. Wasting time was a dangerous hobby in the life of a future world's greatest swordsman, after all. It wouldn't be the first time he'd have to drag his ass back there and drop to his knees in order to apologize and, for sure, it wouldn't be the last by any means.

Zoro only hoped that asshole Mihawk wasn't still around. Last thing he wanted to do was get forced to have to apologize to him, considering it was Sanji's ranting that got him fired last time. For some reason, that memory made him smile. Moreover, he should say he hoped the Joker wasn't around. Well, even if he was, Batman would find a way to kick his ass, even if his Robin wasn't around to know.

He zipped up a duffle bag of stuff he intended to bring with him, training stuff so that the instant he was allowed back in, he could hit the weights hard. No offense to Sanji, but the training regimen did work, no matter how much he wanted to laugh at him when he showed it. The only thing Zoro wasn't sure he had was lunch. Yes, he had all the cookware Sanji sent with him, but he just wasn't in the mood to experiment. Then of course he had his fridge, but who knew what he would find inside.

What better way than to look? Zoro wished he hadn't. It wasn't rank or anything, there had just been planned meals, crafted by you-know-who. They were bad by now, there was no way they weren't, but still they were yet another shitty reminder. It made Zoro huff. Was he going to have to fucking move? Why did he keep thinking about that? It was infuriating. Sanji wasn't even that nice of a guy, now that Zoro thought about it, he was a woman-loving sleaze who he was certain made fun of him in French a time or two.

Zoro grabbed the packaged lunch and tossed it into the trash. He could deal with that later when he returned. Right now he had somewhere to be. His things all together now and with him, Zoro put his shoes back on and headed out the door. He was able to lock it, but froze when he turned around, noticing an abundance of bags spread outside that hadn't been there the night before.

They weren't trash bags, but personal bags, which was strange. Who just left their bags laying around like this? It was pretty stupid. He could just kick one into his apartment right now and claim it. Well, it wasn't his business anyway, he shouldn't waste time - except that the apartment next door had its door open. Wide open. Bags outside, door open. Was this some kind of robbery?

Why did that have Zoro cocking his eyebrow playfully? That sounded exactly like something he needed. He rested his hand yet again on one of his sword hilts, approaching cautiously. If the robber wanted to put up some kind of fight, he'd be more than willing to cut him down. Actually, he'd probably prefer it.

Slowly, he edged into the doorway to peek inside, only to nearly get knocked over. Usually, his reflexes would have kicked in and he would've pushed back, but Zoro forcefully went against them the moment he saw blond. It was enough to completely drain his mind from anything else. His eyes widened and he stared ahead at the familiar guy pulling himself off his chest. Sanji. But, what? What the hell was this? This made no sense at all.

Sanji looked just as flustered, stepping back into his doorway. Why was he flustered? For the guy who always made a point to remind Zoro about his lack of direction, could he really have not known he was in Zoro's neighbor's apartment? This made no sense and that's all Zoro could repeat to himself. He'd left Sanji in France.

He watched as Sanji cleared his throat and looked down at his hand, still near his swords. Then, he smiled awkwardly, which was a little reassuring, but still didn't take away any confusion.

"Damn, Marimo," he teased, his face softening as he gestured to the swords. "Were you and Wado going to cut me?"

Zoro looking down to his swords, yanking his hand off of them quick. Then, his attention went right back to Sanji. Before any more teasing, he wanted answers, damn it.

"Why you here?" He made sure to inflect how serious he was. "France?"

Zoro could very specifically remember Sanji's words about him not staying in France and Sanji not coming to Japan. The fact that he was here after saying that was a mystery. Was he here to stay or was he going to torture Zoro some more? Maybe he should reach out and check if he was a ghost now? No, they had bumped into each other, so he was still very physical.

Sanji scratched at the back of his neck anxiously. "Hell, I don't know," his voice was no more than a mutter and his face continued to blush. Still, Zoro listened intently. "Haven't you ever heard of the phrase yolo?"

Zoro pressed his lips together. No he hadn't, but he'd assume he had. If Sanji was here now, this early in the morning, that meant he would have gone home right after Zoro left to pack these bags and take the next available flight. And somehow called the number on the rent sign next door? Was Zoro right to assume that was what had happened here? If so it was kind of impressive, but ne didn't want to get too excited, though he wasn't going to lie either and say he wasn't hopeful that was the case. Had Sanji gotten over his stupid problems and given in to what fate wanted them to do - which it pretty much showed them clearly already by sending him here the first time?

Sanji had shifted his eyes and flickered them back to Zoro. For some reason, he scowled, stepping forward and closer to Zoro once again. Then, he was brave enough to prod a finger into his collarbone.

"Asshole, why do you think I came here? What the hell does Japan have for me?"

Love hotels? Zoro swallowed down his irrelevant suspicions. Instead, the corners of his mouth couldn't help but upturn into a grin. Without even thinking, even if Sanji hadn't totally liked it the last time they had, he moved his arm out to grab and push Sanji close into his chest so that he could embrace him. Stupid idiot. This is what he got for eating too many french fries. He should just be honest.

Sanji squirmed a little, but not to get away. Surprisingly, for the first time, he was the one initiating their next move of affection. Sanji loosened Zoro's arm grip around him and went in for a kiss, yanking at the back of Zoro's green hair that evidently infuriated him. They were still new at this, so it was okay, besides if they were happy, what did it matter? They had been days away from giving their lives away to each other before, this kind of transition wasn't unexpected.

They broke apart to breathe, taking a moment to stare at one another until Sanji spoke again.

"I'm going to join a Japanese culinary school. So even try living off booze and rice again and I'll kick your ass, got it?"

Zoro was sure there might be some room for discussion later. Right now he didn't care, he just couldn't allow Sanji to find one thing to give him reason to go running back to France. He fully let go of Sanji, reaching down to grab a few of the bags Sanji was no doubt retrieving before and take them inside. He was happy to do so, even more considering Sanji's growls of being totally capable of doing it himself. Still, Zoro took the bags inside and dropped them on the floor. This apartment was nice, very nice.

He crossed his arms, looking at the wall he knew divided this apartment from his. Really, it wouldn't take a lot to knock that down. It'd provide plenty of room for a bigger futon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who kept strong and made it all the way here to the end! Was it a fun ride? Did you like it? Did it make you laugh? Lord I hope it did. If not well... at least you held strong all the way to this ending author's note! Thank you big bang event, I honestly don't think I would've gotten to this story let alone finished it but you had me busting my ass getting it here and now here it is. My second giant monster fic XD I'm so proud of it guys. I think it may easily be my best one yet. I can't wait to hear any of your last thoughts on it. Book reports pls. Ya'll better have done my challenge!
> 
> Thank you again to Myladyday for being the ever stunning beta queen, Torchi for sticking with me until the end just like you said you would! All art was made by my bb partner kumiko-sama-chan

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! Long time no see! I really hope you're enjoying this fic, I worked my ass off on it and it's been killing me not to know what you guys would think about every little thing. I have a challenge for you guys that I'll hope you'll take. I'm dying for reviews and commentary over here so I challenge you to try and review not necessarily every chapter but every other chapter. I will absolutely love you forever even if its just one word I'm serious. It makes all the lonely writing stress worth it XD


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